julbug

Today I am 2 months + 1day past my operation. I am down 55 lbs. But this journey is more than just the weight loss. This journey is about rediscovering myself. For the last 9yrs I have hid myself in the roles of being a wife and a mother. The heavier I got, the less I did. I became a bystander to my life. And worse, to my kids life.
This surgery has given me my courage back. My confidence. My sense of a adventure.
The day I had my surgery I started walking and have not stopped. Today I walked my 1st 5k. And I signed up for 2 more this summer. I cannot believe I am a 5k'er.
I went in to this surgery thinking I would lose weight and get healthier. I never considered I would find myself along the way!

So I decided to share my before and 4 month post pic and stats. I was on the lower BMI side but was a personal decision for me because of yo-yo weight my whole life and although on surgery day I was down Lbs I still know myself to not keep weight off so stick to my plan. PLEASE no judgmental comments we each do what's best for us! I paid out of pocket and went to MX. Definitely not easy from day 1 but honestly much easier experience then I was expecting after reading so many posts.
I'm 5'5 and highest weight 230
Starting weight 2 week pre op 203
GSV surgery day 195 (left photo)
4 months post 155 (still have a BMI and fat% considered overweight on charts)
My goal weight is 145 or 140

Hit a big milestone today...I'm 9 months post-op & lost 100 lbs! So happy for myself though Still working towards goal. Couldn't be happier with my results & my decision to take this step towards a happier-healthier life. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner! I have wonderful support system and for that I'm so grateful. It's funny tho certain people (mostly co-workers) have not commented or asked me 1 question since surgery 9 months ago (which I was open about from the get go). I'm not sure what to make of that but truthfully my family & my "true" friends opinions are what matter to me. I feel like an ugly/angry weight has been lifted from my shoulders which left me feeling lighthearted & happy!

Thanks everyone! For those of you just starting or about to begin your journey, whatever struggles you may have, dont give up or give in...it will get better and you can be very successful if you work the program and just be patient. Not everyone looses at the same rate so dont get discouraged about your success!

Wow...what a journey! I remember the dreaded 6 months pre-op and now I am 6 months post-op!
Started at 260 and am now 175. Down 85lbs. About another 30 or so to go! So weird to be only 30lbs away from the end goal. Never in my life....

I'm still in some pain just got out of the gas zone which is devastating pain. I had no vomiting thought Alhamdulillah. I came home yesterday and been just taking in these Protein Shakes trying to do three a day. Drinking a 2 oz cup every 15 min and in between time drinking Water need to get in all the liquids as possible. last night I was sitting in bed and opened up a 8oz bottle of water and took a sip my mind said to put the top on it but I must of feel a sleep next thing you know splash water al over me I jump up so fast woke me right up. Pray I did no harm to my body but lesson learned not to do that again 🤣[emoji38][emoji23]. But all is good over here still healing and relaxing for now peace [emoji1479]

Today I had an "ah-ha" moment. It took 4 years, but I think I get it! It was triggered by this before photo popping up in my Facebook memories from 5 years ago, (coupled with my most recent post-op photo taken last week, down 120 pounds since surgery in 2013). (attached below)
....And then reading the following quote on a friend's post:
"Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about unbecoming everything that isn't you so you can be who you were in the first place."
I've struggled for years since losing the weight after surgery with questions of "is this the 'real' me, or am I just pretending and the 'real' 'fat' me will resurface sooner or later?" "Can people really change long-term?" It felt like the obese, sad, self-hating "me" was a monster waiting just below the surface to re-emerge. Give enough time and the right circumstances, the "real me" monster will rear it's head and I'll find myself back at nearly 300 pounds.
Guys! I get it now! It's not about change. It's not about the "sticking power" of change. It's not about willpower or determination. It's not even about counting carbs, Protein, calories, and ounces of Water. Sure those are tools that help. But it's not about that.
It's about doing the hard emotional work to figure out why I was hiding myself behind 150 excess pounds. It was about allowing myself to have a voice and using it. It was about demanding self-respect and respect from others. It was about leaving behind, painfully as it was in some cases, the toxic people in my life who emotionally damaged me. It was about processing the feelings that I didn't allow myself to feel for 18 years.
Once I realized this, once I did this work, I could little by little shed the layers that hid who I was. I don't hate myself anymore. I'm not even angry at myself for letting myself get to be 300 pounds like I was when my journey started. I realize now that I was coping. I was doing the best I knew how to do at the time. I look at that person in the "before" picture below and I feel compassion because I know she did her best.
I'm able now to let go the "fear" - and trust me, it's a literal fear - of that "real me" monster re-emerging from just below the surface. I can let it go because I realize, this is the real me. It was actually opposite. It was all the hiding I was doing under the emotional eating and the 150 excess pounds that was hiding the "real me."
So I have to on some level disagree with those who say this is a process of change. Sure, you have to change your behavioral choices with food and exercise or none of this will work. But for me it was not "becoming a new person" or "changing" who I am as a person. For me it was about simply allowing myself to feel and allowing myself to return home to who I was before I was hurt and who the universe intends me to be.
Feel free to check out my blog linked in my signature for more of my journey!

It gets so much better I promise. In the beginning I could smell people's breath in a waiting room- and a refrigerator almost made me puke with all of those smells ! I still don't crave stuff and nothing sounds super awesome to eat- ( almost one year out ) but I mean I guess that's a little of the point- I am never craving something to eat really

This gets better, guys. Give it time! My sense of taste absolutely changed after surgery - I prefer salty to sweet things now, and flavors are more pronounced. It was overwhelmingly so at first, but after several months, it does become less apparent.
My sense of smell took longer - maybe 6-8 months - but I have always had a very sensitive olfactory system, anyway. Surgery made it even more so - I threw up a few times early on due to smell.
Hang in there! It all dissipates down the road.

After all this time, and all this work, I still love my sleeve even with everything that comes with it. I am still amazed at how my body cyclically and periodically continues to drop weight. I never dreamed that I would lose this much. I have left my stretch goal in the dust, because when I started it seemed unlikely I would ever reach it anyway even though it would still be considered 60 pounds overweight. I am now well beneath that and I am continuing. Here is a picture of before and present.

My stall came to an end finally. I was down 40 pounds since surgery in February. Dropped two pounds this week after starting the C25k running trainer.
Went from a 14 to a 12 with no weight lost. I can live with that:-). Photo before was taken in December 2016. 6 weeks before surgery.

You look great. Healthy and very professional.

I was sleeved yesterday (6/6/17) at 0930.
Waking up from the anesthesia was rough, and I had so much pain in my shoulders (I guess it's from the gas?). It was a long day, no fluids by mouth, and trying to walk.
Today was better. Had my leak test this morning, and results were perfect, so started sipping Water and walking! I felt like a different person! Was allowed chicken broth for lunch, and Jello. Oh my goodness, jello has never tasted so good
Minimal pain meds at this time, and looking forward to going home tomorrow!
HW - 250lbs
SW - 225 lbs
GW - 135 lbs
5'3" tall

6/6/17, the first day of my new life ️

Hello my BP fam..... I haven't been on in a minute but that's because my life has been super hectic. For those of you that have been following me, you know that I am going thru a divorce. Yes , I mustered up the strength to leave his lowdown butt. But , honestly, that has been the best thing that could have happened to me. I am happier with me, I love and embrace my flaws as well as accomplishments. I smile more , I laugh more. I am truly blessed to have so many friends and my brother and sister in law who have really held me down.
Okay, weight update is as follows...started off at 242 lbs... I now weigh 156 lbs ( 6 lbs from goal weight), I wear a size 4-6 in women clothing, 5'7 ( almost), my waist is a 27 and I am loving life. I included a lot of pics to show my progress. I love you all for your support and kind words through my hard spots ... kisses and hugs to you all.
P.s. I look really small in first pic but it must be that camera because I don't think I'm that little, lol.

I tend to lose in spurts. One week I'll lose 3 pounds then the next nothing, then I'll lose a pound a day for three days then nothing for 5 days. There is no rhyme or reason to it, so i have learned to just be patient and stick with the plan.

Hi. How are you? I know the feelings you're going through. I was sleeved 5/29/15. I'm coming up on 2 years. I started out at 345. Went down to 195. Presently at 215.  

Hello,
My name is Sabrina I was Sleeved by Dr. A in Mexico April 16,2016
I was 344 pound 5"8 as of today I am 208. Absolutely the best Journey of my life.
No regrets!