Kathleen jaggers
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Ok been afraid to write this for fear someone I know will see it. In 2 months it will be 2 years since my surgery. Gastric sleeve. Was about 325 at start. A jerk of a psychiatrist put me on crap loads of seroquel and I gained 80 lbs which got me over the 300 lb mark. Have been on disability for over 7 years for severe depression. Was in another state for 5 years taking care of my elderly mother because my 6 brothers and sisters who lived there wouldn't. I only went out of the house to go to therapist and psychiatrist. Besides my 3 month and 4 month stays at Columbia Nyspi. Had my surgery in ny. By a surgeon who was highly recommended by many. His groups were a joke. The nutritionist I was sent to was only interested in getting me qualified. About 4 months after surgery I told my surgeon I was binging and purging. His answer! " don't do that ". Spent 5 months in residential treatment center for depression and eating disorder. Still have both and am smoking again. I am a chef whose specialty is baking. I love it and it's so a part of me. My mom passed 13 months ago and I am back home. I got a rescue puppy who helps me a lot. I don't want to eat anything then I want to eat everything. Then it hurts and I purge. I am so afraid I am going to rip my staples out. I started walking and was up to 5-6 miles every morning. 2 hours. I am now wearing a cam boot and using a walker. I have 2 stress fractures in my foot from walking. I am and have been a waterholic. I drink about 2 quarts just through the night. I have a gallon jug and a 2 quart jug next to my bed. Some of which I use for my cpap but most I drink. I try not to drink after I eat but I never make it an hour. Crap, I know I need help but don't know how to find who I need. Hard enough to find a regular psychiatrist and therapist never mind someone who deals with what I am going through. I am scared, disappointed in myself and don't know where to turn. Anyone else want to out themselves or have any ideas? Sorry this is so long but I had to say it some how.
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I wish I had ideas to offer, but unfortunately I don't. I did want to send some care your way. I'm sorry for all that you've endured.
I gained a tremendous amount of weight and lost hair due to an antidepressant I took to help cope with a miscarriage, so I understand the incredible frustration of taking something that is meant to benefit you and having it cause substantial damage. I have friends who also gained weight on Seroquel.
I've heard that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been helpful to some with eating disorders, but I haven't tried it myself.
I know that for a lot of people who've had WLS planning out meals in advance and keeping healthy snacks on hand has been really helpful at reducing the urge to binge. A woman who goes by Fit Miss Bliss has a site where she discusses how she prepares meals and snacks for the first few days of the week on Sunday nights. I'm not quire that disciplined, but I do find that having the kitchen stocked with high-protein, lower-carb groceries and having snacks in my bag or at the office keeps me on track. Eating on a routine schedule also is important for me. If I skip a meal I'm much more likely to become ravenous and just eat whatever I can stuff in my mouth, rather than deliberating and making a good choice. I also do best when I'm eating lower carb, but not restrictively low carb, so that I don't feel like I'm deprived. I like to have a small dessert at night that is under 20 carbs, like a few chocolate covered bananas (Dole's makes them and they come in single serve packages that help with portion control). This satisfies my sweet tooth and helps me from just grabbing a doughnut.
I'm sorry I can't be more of a help. I hope all the best for you.
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