The

The assumption here is assuming the same body type for everyone. I have a very large frame, and even if I had 10% body fat, puts me at a BMI of 29. I really don't care about BMI as it is such a non-unique way to determine ideal weight it just doesn't matter to me. I just want to be healthy and fit, I can careless about what weight or BMI that ends up being.

I am on day 7 of 14 day liquid diet. Surgery on July 12. One of the meals I got was 7 servings of Tomato Basil Soup, which is so bloody nasty, that I refuse to eat it (tastes awful and the heartburn is bad). Substituting Trader Joe low sodium Tomato Soup plus unflavored Protein, which is way better taste-wise and has pretty much the same nutrients in it except it is much lower in sodium. Other than that I am following the diet for the most part. Kinda wishing I could have real low fat high protein food, but that's not the way it is to be.
Liquid diet itself is not as difficult as I would have guessed.
Good luck everybody and stay strong!

I'm surgery in eight days time. I know it's eight days time because it's all I flipping think about.
Is anyone else finding that their every waking hour is spent with 'just one more thing' about their impending surgery? It's not the big things like 'will I dies on the operating table' or 'am I making the right decision' that are getting into my head. It's everything else. Are you thinking about the most minute details possible?
It's not that I want answers, per se, I just think I need to worry about something to fill the time. Here are some of the things that I expended too much mental energy on yesterday:
Will I be able to drink espressos post-op?
How many times a day can I moisturise to help minimise excess skin?
Slippers or barefoot?
Why are Protein Shakes in such sweet flavours when I don't have a sweet tooth?
When will I be able to ride my bike?
What happens when my five year old jumps on my tummy? He's bound to forget eventually!
Will I be able to bend down and tie-up my sneakers before I go for a walk?
Will my beard appear to be thicker? Should I keep it once I've lost weight?
I really like that straw hat in the sale... but is my head going to shrink?
Okay, that's just a sample. Some are actually too trivial for me to remember. The point isn't that I need lots of answers (trust me I've asked about plenty in the forums) it's just that I'm feeling increasingly distracted. Maybe it's nerves. I'm actually in a great place, I'm loving my pre-op diet, the sense of progress and achievement it's giving me and the discipline I'm practising (it's not liquid only, all real food, but it's very precise and the weighing and logging is great). It's just the nowadays I think of little else!

I'm surgery in eight days time. I know it's eight days time because it's all I flipping think about.
Is anyone else finding that their every waking hour is spent with 'just one more thing' about their impending surgery? It's not the big things like 'will I dies on the operating table' or 'am I making the right decision' that are getting into my head. It's everything else. Are you thinking about the most minute details possible?
It's not that I want answers, per se, I just think I need to worry about something to fill the time. Here are some of the things that I expended too much mental energy on yesterday:
Will I be able to drink espressos post-op?
How many times a day can I moisturise to help minimise excess skin?
Slippers or barefoot?
Why are Protein Shakes in such sweet flavours when I don't have a sweet tooth?
When will I be able to ride my bike?
What happens when my five year old jumps on my tummy? He's bound to forget eventually!
Will I be able to bend down and tie-up my sneakers before I go for a walk?
Will my beard appear to be thicker? Should I keep it once I've lost weight?
I really like that straw hat in the sale... but is my head going to shrink?
Okay, that's just a sample. Some are actually too trivial for me to remember. The point isn't that I need lots of answers (trust me I've asked about plenty in the forums) it's just that I'm feeling increasingly distracted. Maybe it's nerves. I'm actually in a great place, I'm loving my pre-op diet, the sense of progress and achievement it's giving me and the discipline I'm practising (it's not liquid only, all real food, but it's very precise and the weighing and logging is great). It's just the nowadays I think of little else!

yes thank you @TheUnrealJohn , I thought I was the only person who was like way too in my head about nonsensical things. Funny that I've even wondered the same thing about espresso, we have it at work instead of drip coffee and its fantastic.. I wonder about foods that I'm not going to like anymore and I specifically think of salt and vinegar chips. Occasionally I think it would be easier if I could just nap through time, and wake up right after surgery.. I read half way through 'The Big Book on The Gastric Sleeve', btw the first half is just a gigantic list of possible complications, a tad unnerving to say the least, I try not to read it before bed. I wake up in the morning and post op is literally the first thing on my mind...2 more days.2 very long days hahaha

I can't give advice on dating post WLS, but I'll share the things I did find.

A date's just a date. Try to have fun, laugh, connect - however it is you would with friends.

Don't go in with expectations of something life changing - life rarely changes in a hour or two, and expecting it to puts an awful lot of pressure on you and your date.

I split up from a long term partner seven years ago. I went out dating pretty quickly but decided that I just wanted to meet smart funny cute women and that I would enjoy their company. I had dates where I knew we wouldn't be intimate and they were brilliant fun. In the past I might have worried about whether we'd get together but I just decided that the only thing that mattered was enjoying the date.

As it happened I met my gorgeous wife and something did 'click'. And now we have a five year old son.

So my best advice is think of it like a couple of hours you want to enjoy and not an interview for being life partners or lovers.

To quote:
"(I know, I would have knocked the outta her too)"
Seriously? Ever considered how serious a plague violence against women is in our society? I'd keep that one to yourself. Or better still get your head right before you worry about a third party's reported experience of body image issues.

To quote:
"(I know, I would have knocked the outta her too)"
Seriously? Ever considered how serious a plague violence against women is in our society? I'd keep that one to yourself. Or better still get your head right before you worry about a third party's reported experience of body image issues.

To quote:
"(I know, I would have knocked the outta her too)"
Seriously? Ever considered how serious a plague violence against women is in our society? I'd keep that one to yourself. Or better still get your head right before you worry about a third party's reported experience of body image issues.

Has anyone from here met and fell in love? Just curious. It'd be a great story.

I'm worried about it too. Right now (10 days before my op) I figure it's too late to either get younger or develop different genetics. I'm vain enough to care and have decided that rather than wait to find out if I got the short straw i will do what I can to improve my skin now. I am moisturising twice a day with cream that has elastin and collagen in and doing lots of sea salt scrubs and dry brushing. I have no idea if it will work but my skin feels fantastic so if that's all that happens I'm not complaining.

I can't give advice on dating post WLS, but I'll share the things I did find.

A date's just a date. Try to have fun, laugh, connect - however it is you would with friends.

Don't go in with expectations of something life changing - life rarely changes in a hour or two, and expecting it to puts an awful lot of pressure on you and your date.

I split up from a long term partner seven years ago. I went out dating pretty quickly but decided that I just wanted to meet smart funny cute women and that I would enjoy their company. I had dates where I knew we wouldn't be intimate and they were brilliant fun. In the past I might have worried about whether we'd get together but I just decided that the only thing that mattered was enjoying the date.

As it happened I met my gorgeous wife and something did 'click'. And now we have a five year old son.

So my best advice is think of it like a couple of hours you want to enjoy and not an interview for being life partners or lovers.

Hi BMC,
I hear what you're saying about not talking to folks though, part of this for me is that this is the new normal and you don't spend your time talking and explaining about what's normal. I'm not avoiding talking to people about it - right now i'm just 'dieting' as far as anyone's concerned - but if they ask once I've had the operation I'm happy to talk about it (I say this now - who knows!). I'll talk about it as and when I want, and how I want - not making excuses to accomodate some damn fool's ignorance. So I won't make excuses and I certainly won't hide it.
For me, I know we're all different, hiding it just plays right into the shame/embarrassment cycle that has made me so effing unhappy. I feel an amazing energy right now and I'm going to keep that. If people want to think I took the easy option or that I'm somehow weak or defective, let them. This is my reality and I'm not just taking control of my body I'm taking control of how I feel about it.
You've got me ranting now. :-)
But I have given this a lot of thought. I don't know how well I'll live up to my plan, but I'll keep trying and not judging. A lot of us have been hurt by people's attitudes and we know what it's like to turn that into something painful. My head, right now, is on the start of a big journey like my body is.
Here endeth the sermon!
Love & peace,
Jx

I think after I lose weight and feel more comfortable with my new way of life I'll be happy to talk about it. Being so new, I don't want to deal with it. Eventually-but this time is my time for me to learn and adjust.

Hi BMC,
I hear what you're saying about not talking to folks though, part of this for me is that this is the new normal and you don't spend your time talking and explaining about what's normal. I'm not avoiding talking to people about it - right now i'm just 'dieting' as far as anyone's concerned - but if they ask once I've had the operation I'm happy to talk about it (I say this now - who knows!). I'll talk about it as and when I want, and how I want - not making excuses to accomodate some damn fool's ignorance. So I won't make excuses and I certainly won't hide it.
For me, I know we're all different, hiding it just plays right into the shame/embarrassment cycle that has made me so effing unhappy. I feel an amazing energy right now and I'm going to keep that. If people want to think I took the easy option or that I'm somehow weak or defective, let them. This is my reality and I'm not just taking control of my body I'm taking control of how I feel about it.
You've got me ranting now. :-)
But I have given this a lot of thought. I don't know how well I'll live up to my plan, but I'll keep trying and not judging. A lot of us have been hurt by people's attitudes and we know what it's like to turn that into something painful. My head, right now, is on the start of a big journey like my body is.
Here endeth the sermon!
Love & peace,
Jx

Hi BMC,
I hear what you're saying about not talking to folks though, part of this for me is that this is the new normal and you don't spend your time talking and explaining about what's normal. I'm not avoiding talking to people about it - right now i'm just 'dieting' as far as anyone's concerned - but if they ask once I've had the operation I'm happy to talk about it (I say this now - who knows!). I'll talk about it as and when I want, and how I want - not making excuses to accomodate some damn fool's ignorance. So I won't make excuses and I certainly won't hide it.
For me, I know we're all different, hiding it just plays right into the shame/embarrassment cycle that has made me so effing unhappy. I feel an amazing energy right now and I'm going to keep that. If people want to think I took the easy option or that I'm somehow weak or defective, let them. This is my reality and I'm not just taking control of my body I'm taking control of how I feel about it.
You've got me ranting now. :-)
But I have given this a lot of thought. I don't know how well I'll live up to my plan, but I'll keep trying and not judging. A lot of us have been hurt by people's attitudes and we know what it's like to turn that into something painful. My head, right now, is on the start of a big journey like my body is.
Here endeth the sermon!
Love & peace,
Jx

Hi BMC,
I hear what you're saying about not talking to folks though, part of this for me is that this is the new normal and you don't spend your time talking and explaining about what's normal. I'm not avoiding talking to people about it - right now i'm just 'dieting' as far as anyone's concerned - but if they ask once I've had the operation I'm happy to talk about it (I say this now - who knows!). I'll talk about it as and when I want, and how I want - not making excuses to accomodate some damn fool's ignorance. So I won't make excuses and I certainly won't hide it.
For me, I know we're all different, hiding it just plays right into the shame/embarrassment cycle that has made me so effing unhappy. I feel an amazing energy right now and I'm going to keep that. If people want to think I took the easy option or that I'm somehow weak or defective, let them. This is my reality and I'm not just taking control of my body I'm taking control of how I feel about it.
You've got me ranting now. :-)
But I have given this a lot of thought. I don't know how well I'll live up to my plan, but I'll keep trying and not judging. A lot of us have been hurt by people's attitudes and we know what it's like to turn that into something painful. My head, right now, is on the start of a big journey like my body is.
Here endeth the sermon!
Love & peace,
Jx

Ance..... Trust in the fact that your daughter will do much better with you by her side. Support from the people that love us the most is so very important no matter what age.
You have to remember that this is about her, not you, not her dad, not her siblings, not her friends.... She will make the changes when she sees the weight coming off it will be easier for her to see the possibility. Lots of people her age become super health conscience after WLS. You job as mom is to support her and identify your roll in her journey. Lots of mom learn that they themselves have contributed more than they thought. We as moms have a hard time saying NO to our kids. I would continue to go to the meetings with her and learn how to help her as much as you can. Get the word.... Can't out of your vocabulary.
Think of it this way.... if she had any other disease and surgery would fix it... would you support that? If she had a heart blockage, would you support a Stint.... or diabetes.. Would you support a pump being put in..... WLS is the same thing... she has a disease and needs this to help fix her....and that's the bottom line.
I Wish you all the best of luck in this journey...
Chris

Because I have no patience for the types of comments you received, I'm only telling a select few. I have enough to focus on without negative comments (even well meaning ones go right through me).
It's sad that we feel we have to defend a decision to improve our life. Ugh!

I feel the same way they can kiss my phat butt lol

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Too funny... but kind of sad as well.
I've just decided I really don't care what other people think. This has taken me a lot of thought and soul searching to get my head round, I'm fairly sure that whatever I say isn't going to make that much difference to anyone else's preset opinions.
I reached a point where my weight peaked and the judgement of others, often implicit, was dragging me down. I'm not letting that happen with this - pride is the name of the game!

Too funny... but kind of sad as well.
I've just decided I really don't care what other people think. This has taken me a lot of thought and soul searching to get my head round, I'm fairly sure that whatever I say isn't going to make that much difference to anyone else's preset opinions.
I reached a point where my weight peaked and the judgement of others, often implicit, was dragging me down. I'm not letting that happen with this - pride is the name of the game!

So I preface this with....I need a moment to vent. I'm not far into my journey, currently in my 6 month supervised. I was originally keeping a lot of this process to myself, partly because I didn't want to say anything only to find out the I wouldn't qualify. Partly because I was afraid of the various reactions. But based on conversations with my boyfriend I started feeling a bit guilty about the possibility of just springing surgery on my family and close friends.
So with that I started to tell folks little by little and every reaction thus far has been completely unhelpful and depressing. I know most are reacting to concerns about "surgery" and associated dangers, but the result has been a number of comments and questions that make me regret opening the door for their opinions at all:
1. Do you really qualify?
2. Seriously, you just need to deal with your stress once you do that you'll be able to manage things.
3. Well it's no surprise you'd consider surgical intervention
4. Just get a new job
5. Are you sure you wanna do this, once you have kids you won't be able to eat with them like a normal family.
6. Even my freakin podiatrist- omg are you really doing it, my patients who have done it can't manage all the Vitamins and they have a really hard time when pregnant.
7. We'll if being skinny is the most important thing for you
8. I hope you realize this isn't a magic bullet
Etc.....
I feel like this is partly on me for introducing the subject, it seems I've somehow given permission for all these reactions. I'm just really annoyed and I'm trying really hard not to let these opinions sway me from doing something that's right for me (if I make this choice).
All of this has left me feeling like I'm shallow and only going through this for cosmetic reasons. I'm constantly defending myself and trying to explain the medical reasons that have gotten me to this point, but I'm pissed that I've even got to do that. And even when I do explain, most still don't think "it's bad enough for surgery."
Clearly I'm at my wits end, hoping for a little insight from others....

I'm pre-op and other than the strategic few I have told already (husband, parents, a couple of close friends), I will probably keep mum for now. I want to limit the advice and opinions I receive to only those from people I personally choose to have in my pre-op squad. But, after surgery I will be willing to tell people because I think there is no way to get rid of the stigma without talking about it. Only when people can see up close the amount of work and sweat that goes into the WLS lifestyle will they start to lose the "you took the easy way out" mindset.
Now, I don't think every single WLS patient needs to be that ambassador. But I personally see myself taking on that role because I'm really good at educating people through communication & conversation - people are used to me being on my soapbox

There appears to be enormous variation in pre-op diets and regimes.

I read about people's liquid diets and then look at my program, which is all real food (albeit very low calorie/ low carb/ sugar/ fat).

Clearly there is an end point, which is to reduce the fat layer encasing your liver to enable access to your stomach for surgery, but many different paths.

I think you have to trust your medical practitioners. Their experience is far greater than any individual here.