LaLa Ladybug

Well after much discussion with my husband and with Stacie from Bariactric Pal I have scheduled my surgery. I will be getting the sleeve on May 15th. So i have 2 months to get prepared for the most important thing I have ever done for my health.
I am scared, excited, and anxious all rolled up together. A big thank you to all who have responded and offered me advice.

thank you everyone for your advice. I have not met with a surgeon in the states. My insurance will not cover the cost and I am still in the process of researching and deciding if going to Mexico is something I want to pursue, I have contacted Bill Yanez and I am waiting to hear back about whether I would be a candidate and to get more information. I am ready to move forward and make a change. I purchased the book "The Big Book on Gastric Sleeve" so I could begin to absorb everything I can.

You're not crazy. And just to throw this out there, I also lost about 30 something lbs on my last ditch effort to do this without surgery. Then I too gained it all back plus 10 lbs. So, hope you don't, but if you're like many of us, you may gain that weight back and qualify for surgery whether you try or not. Truly not trying to be pessimistic, but it is a hard battle we fight. I agree with what James said about diabetes being helped by bypass. I have read that many times and that it depends on how long you had it before surgery and how bad it was. I did the sleeve and did not have diabetes (yet). But give the surgery some serious consideration. My advice would be to do your research. I was nothing short of obsessive for at least 6 months before surgery. Read 3 books, plus recipe books, spent a LOT of time reading on this site, looked up every statistic I could find from reputable sites. Found a great program with really great people (support group, nutritionist and a very qualified surgeon). Went to the support group and informational meetings before surgery. I needed to feel comfortable about my decision and I did. And I am so grateful that I was able to have the surgery. The very best to you in your journey.

I don't think you are crazy. I am in the same boat with the BMI, thankfully I don't have any health issues (yet). I could gain 15 pounds, qualify for the surgery here, spend 6 months jumping through insurance hoops, and still end up paying around $13,000. Our insurance is awful.

So for me I don't see the point in gaining weight and possibly pushing myself into getting comorbitities when I'll still have to pay that much for surgery. Yes, there are some sketchy surgeons who are advertised very cheap and probably not the best to trust to do your surgery. But there are also wonderful ones. That's where you need to do your homework.

I hate that people bring up the leaks and horror stories so often when you mention Mexico. I doubt any of them have ever really heard of stories they're just basing their thoughts off of the stigma that Mexico has here in the US. Complications are possible no matter where you have your surgery. Don't think that just because you have your surgery in the US that it is risk free.

Thank you for posting the video. Your process for deciding sounded a little like some of my thoughts. I am not morbidly obese, but I already have weight related health issues and I am only 48. Diabetes and heart disease run in my family and I really need to stop the progression now.
I would much prefer to have the surgery closer to home but I don't have the $20-25 thousand. I am still undecided as to what I should do. I know a few people that have had surgery in Mexico and were very satisfied with the care they received. They did not have WLS so I am researching now to see if I can find a surgeon that I would be comfortable with.
I could just wait for the inevitable weight gain back to a BMI of 35, but that also sounds crazy to me. My current changes to my diet should help me by successful with WLS and I don't want to go backward.

I don't know that I would trust my WLS to perform cosmetic surgery on me. Two completely different specialties.

Thank you so much everyone! The reassurance is so helpful, especially in the early days. Its a learning curve and I'm learning to be a more mindful eater. Focusing on portions and listening to the stomach makes all the difference. Therapy help too [emoji16].

Sent from my SM-G920T using BariatricPal mobile app

I was the same way with the lack of restriction. I didn't feel it at first....I could pretty easily eat more than my 1-2 oz I was supposed to have (especially soup!) And I remember thinking how very easy it would be to go back to my old binging ways. Well, long story short, about 4 weeks after surgery I was eating lean turkey....which was ok on my plan at that time but I was eating far too fast, not chewing, not paying attention to portion size. and about 10 bites in I was in a lot of pain and ended up vomiting it all back up. Thankfully I didn't do any damage to my pouch but it sure scared me. And really showed me just how important it is that I fix my 'head'.... Now that I'm eating solid foods it is much easier to feel it too. I also think I never really understood what "full" felt like. I always thought it was the painful, uncomfortable, going to explode feeling but it's not. After talking to my NUT, I now know that full for me is more of a slight heaviness in my stomach - and when I feel that I know the next bite or two will send me over the top.

You won't start really feeling the restriction until you start eating solid foods. This is why you need to measure out your portions. Make sure you are getting in your fluids as well. I stayed home from work for 5 weeks and was still exhausted when I got home every day. Even though the incisions are healed on the outside, your insides are still healing up and your body is having to survive on 1/4th of the calories you probably ate pre-op.

I didn't tell anyone at work the specifics of my surgery (except my best friend who just happens to work at the same place). When I requested my leave of absence I said I was having major abdominal surgery - and that is what my surgeon puts on the paperwork as well. And I just told my team I was having surgery and would be out 4-6 weeks. Anyone who inquired further was met with a blank stare because it is none of their business. Actually, that's not entirely true....if people were especially pushy I told them random stuff like "boob job" or "lobotomy".

I had my 4th diet check up today. I'm down 20 pounds, and my doctor confirmed that June (already scheduled!!) will be the last one and then they will immediately submit, "So surgery in July!" Eeeeep that's so SOON!!!

I wish I had a date. So hard to plan for work, daycare, etc with a: well, hopefully it'll be around this date... But maybe this date... Lol

I realize that's a fair while away, but I would love to connect with others scheduled for surgery around that time. Maybe we can keep each other sane while waiting.

Surgery is scary. That's ok. So are major life changes, which is what this is. I'm 8 months post-op. I've lost 72% of my excess body weight and have about 30 pounds to go to my goal - which will be 120 pounds from my high weight this time last year. I had no complications. I was in the hospital over night and home by 1 the next day. I was back at work (I'm a desk jockey) in 6 days. I was in the gym 4 days after surgery on a recumbent bike for an hour. You have to get your head in the right place because 99% of your success will be your attitude.
I decided I wasn't going to be the fat mama at my daughter's high school graduation - and I'm not. I went from a size 22 pants (barely closing the button) to a size 10 today.
Best decision I ever made. Follow your team's plan and you will be fine!

Well my advice is to take what you learned the first time around and use it. I feel like my recovery from rny was easier than the band because I knew what to expect. I knew the gas was the worst thing about post op...so by evening of my surgery I was up walking, walking walking I was in the clinic for two days but was asking to be released after one because I was feeling better! At home I walked. I knew warm Water goes in when cold does not work. I knew to take my Prevacid. I knew to get my Fluid and Protein in first and I have been rigidly sticking to plan. And not trying to uneccsarily restrict calories.
Rny gives a metabolic reset so I am not going to destroy this new baby metabolism with crash diets like I did the last one. I have observed that many of the vets who lost weight on really restrictive calories guess what..they also have to maintain on really restrictive calories. I know other vets who focused on healthy foods like protein lots of vegetables, healthy fruits, complex carbs if you have room etc.,, they are able to maintain on 1400-1700 a day. That's who's plan I'm following. Now that I have had a malabsorbtive surgery I really have had a mindset change to eating what my body needs, as opposed to eating for entertainment. I don't eat processed food. My filter always is "does this offer me the most nutrition?"
I tried to get my calories to 800 as soon as possible (by 2 months). Then to 900 (by 3 months). At six months I'm now between 1050-1100. Still losing...slightly slower but who cares...I'm in this for the long term not the short term.. this one I want to be forever.
This is what worked for me. It isn't the only way, of course. But it changed my life.
Sorry for the long winded answer.

Thank you for the support. I hope things can get better but I'm trying to focus on me n prepping myself for the worse if it happens. I deserve happiness and that's what I'm seeking. Either you with me or if you aren't then please go away

recovery was easy
I had almost no pain
I didn't lose any hair (although most people lose *some* - a majority just heavy shedding and they're the only ones who notice)
when I now see things like giant restaurant meals (even entree salads), all I can think is, "how the hell could anyone eat that much?"
you'll do fine and afterward you'll be really glad you did it

You're doing awesome! All I can think of is that he has some unresolved personal issues that he's deflecting back on you. That is not right. Whether we're bigger or smaller, our spouses should be attracted to who we are in the inside. My husband & I were standing up for our friends at their wedding last year, the minister told everyone a story about a couple where one person wanted to lose weight for the other to be more attractive for to them. She lost the weight. Then regained & felt like she let him down. The spouse told them they fell in love with who the are, not their shell.

There are likely a lot of things your husband needs to work out in his head. I've not read the rest of the threads yet to see if he pulled his head out of his who-who, but I sure hope he did or does soon!

You've gone thru your medical workup & doc had said you're good to go. Yay! When you get super nervous, try to think of all cool things about your new body. You'll be healthier. Less joint pain if you have it now, sleep better, more active & not shopping for plus size clothes is pretty good too. Is there anything you've wanted to do right now that you've not done due to your weight? Horseback riding? Tropical vacation? Hang gliding? Zip lining? When you get nervous, maybe try to visualize that? Even taking a walk at a faster pace without being out of breath is nice to think about. My doc says he's more concerned about people who are not even a little nervous before surgery.

You've gone thru your medical workup & doc had said you're good to go. Yay! When you get super nervous, try to think of all cool things about your new body. You'll be healthier. Less joint pain if you have it now, sleep better, more active & not shopping for plus size clothes is pretty good too. Is there anything you've wanted to do right now that you've not done due to your weight? Horseback riding? Tropical vacation? Hang gliding? Zip lining? When you get nervous, maybe try to visualize that? Even taking a walk at a faster pace without being out of breath is nice to think about. My doc says he's more concerned about people who are not even a little nervous before surgery.

I'm with RavensGirl. Your boss will be crossing a legal line if he pushes you for details on your surgery. The short term disability paperwork should go straight to that insurance company. FMLA paperwork goes straight to your HR department if you have one.

Obesity was formally declared a disease a few years ago & all short term disability carriers will cover if. For your STD paperwork, you'll want to give that to your doc to complete & submit about a month before surgery. For the FMLA paperwork? Federally, you give it to the doc about two weeks pre-op. Oregon also has its own version of FMLA, "ORFLA".

Personally, I love my boss. Fantastic guy, but I'm not comfortable yet discussing this with him & he didn't press at all. He just reminded me to contact HR for the paperwork. I'll more than likely tell him before I got out for surgery - just out of respect. But not until I am ready.

Good luck!

You're doing awesome! All I can think of is that he has some unresolved personal issues that he's deflecting back on you. That is not right. Whether we're bigger or smaller, our spouses should be attracted to who we are in the inside. My husband & I were standing up for our friends at their wedding last year, the minister told everyone a story about a couple where one person wanted to lose weight for the other to be more attractive for to them. She lost the weight. Then regained & felt like she let him down. The spouse told them they fell in love with who the are, not their shell.

There are likely a lot of things your husband needs to work out in his head. I've not read the rest of the threads yet to see if he pulled his head out of his who-who, but I sure hope he did or does soon!

First day on pre-op diet wasn't so bad. I hope the next 13 loooong days will be the same. Wish me luck! 😉

Are the surgeons in the ER you went to experienced with bariatric surgery patients? I might seek a second opinion if not. I know in our city there is one hospital's ER we're supposed to go to if we have problems post-surgery as the doctors in other ERs might not have the same expertise to catch issues unique to bariatric patients. New or worsening pain is definitely on our list of red flags. Do you have any other symptoms, for example fever, redness, or hot spots on your belly?
I'm four weeks out and have no pain at all. The worst I get is a slight tugging sensation on my big incision when I'm swimming, but even that has faded since my first swim.
I hope you get it figured out! And good for you for actually going to a doctor about it! Too many people delay seeing a doctor...

I choose sleeve. Main reason was to keep same digestive process in place and also avoid need for continuous supplements and/or not have to avoid NSAIDs I may need later in life for other reasons