Neversaynever

Alison, love, I know you can and I believe you and all your bari-family there and abroad are cheering you on. I'm lying on my bed and watching Royal Ascot. At first I was envious and then I realized I have the,potential to be as fine in my way as all those fine Lords, Ladies and even Her Majesty the Queen. As she has become the best Elizabeth she could be I can be the Best Frustr8 I can be and you have the,potential to grow into a truly splendid Alison. Never sell yourself short, you are still a work in progress and I look forward to reading more of the Alison Story. Ta Ta for now!

Thank you all, for your replies.

I realise this is not normal behaviour and I need to rectify it. I will take on board all you have suggested and see if I can make this work for me.

You will fail only if You let yourself. The fact,you have come here shows you're reaching out for help. Every body is a little different, I also can't eat rice anymore it sits in my stomach like a lump of concrete and,makes me uncomfortable. Do go talk to a dietician/ nutritionist, get your diet fine-tuned, don't worry they have heard it all by now and won't be shocked. I think also you are a tad bored by life, you could slide back,into mindless eating. I'm clear,over here. in the U.S or I'd sit down with you and help work something,out. But seeking help isn't a bad thing, it is maturity to realize you can't do things all alone on your own. Please go seek some more help, if they say you are just fine, that's a heavy load off of your mind. Hugs from Ohio your friend Frustr8.

@Alison Murray
Grazing is something that is a loop hole of this surgery. You will need to learn to control your "head hunger" or the urge to eat, just to eat. You can gain weight easily by grazing or by drinking your calories.
You aren't alone feeling confused by your restriction. Sometimes I am shocked at how much I can eat, and other times I take two or three bites and it feels like I've just had my surgery two weeks ago. I haven't found a correlation between what I eat either, because I'm very diligent about eating Protein every meal. All I can say is, I don't let my restriction dictate how much I eat. Let me repeat, I don't let my restriction dictate what I eat. What I mean by this, is I still measure out my food and I only eat as much as recommended by my program, which for me is no more than 6oz per sitting (protein and veggies included) usually I do 4oz of protein, and 2 oz of veggies. I also keep my meals around 300 calories. Obviously, if I'm full before the 6oz, I don't push further and I DON'T go back later (once my pouch as emptied) for seconds.
Larger weight loss amounts, early on, is common in higher BMIs. I've lost 112lbs in 5 months post op. My BMI was well into the 50's though. You can do this! I'm glad to see you acknowledged that it can take 12-18 months, because it can. I won't consider my active weight loss complete until I've hit that 2 year mark. My doctor told me that average weight loss is around 3-4lbs per week, for the first 3 months. After that, it can slow to 1-3lbs per week. I'm loosing on average 9-11lbs per month now, but it seems to be slowing.
The biggest thing is to keep track of your eating. Are you logging all your foods, even the bites here or there? Normally, I'd say snacking is OK, but in your case I'd warn against it. I would try and minimize your eating to three meals a day. If you need a snack, use a Protein Shake.

Calm down. Here is your problem - you are grazing and not following the plan.
Eat dense Protein first, measure or weigh it out, then add 1/4 cup of vegetables and be done with your meal. Don't eat sandwiches - ditch the bread.
RULE#1 - Protein in correct portions. 60grams or more. Chew slowly. No liquids during meals.
RULE#2 - Eat at planned intervals, 3 meals plus 2-3 Snacks.
RULE#3 - Water at least 64oz.
RULE#4 - No drinking until 30 minutes after eating.
- There will be nonlinear weight loss, stalls, and hard work on this journey. You stated that you are not hungry but are eating anyway, if this continues you should seek some therapy, we have all had issues with food - physical restriction will only get the ball rolling, the head games we play to justify eating will doom you to failure unless you find a way to fix that. Good luck and keep posting.

I was hungry the day after my surgery and HUNGRY every day since! I envy you I was so looking forward to this non existent hunger that I heard about and was told would go away with a smaller stomach but I am in the percentile that that did not happen. So count yourself blessed

Nine weeks out, I've felt hunger since day one. No, it's NOT head hunger like everyone tells me, I am legitimately hungry, but definitely not like before my surgery. I try to keep hydrated and keep my Protein up but it's really a struggle and VERY annoying when your doctors say it will go away (umm it hasn't) and (some) bariatric group members say it's not true hunger. I'm disappointed, I heard a lot of even most of the members of my post op support groups here locally say they don't feel hungry or rarely do, some of them are years out. But, I don't give in, I drink my Water, stick to my 3 meals and maybe have one protein rich snack. I guess it is what it is.

I recently went on holiday to Greece to recuperate, I had lots of small victories!
The plane seats were a better fit, the walk to a different terminal wasn't as tortuous and turning myself over from front to back on the sunbeds was a breeze, previously a real struggle!

We have an old fashioned bath that is narrower in the middle. I used to have to "lift" my hips over the middle bit to lay down in the bath, now, I just slide straight through the middle!

I recently went on holiday to Greece to recuperate, I had lots of small victories!
The plane seats were a better fit, the walk to a different terminal wasn't as tortuous and turning myself over from front to back on the sunbeds was a breeze, previously a real struggle!

I recently went on holiday to Greece to recuperate, I had lots of small victories!
The plane seats were a better fit, the walk to a different terminal wasn't as tortuous and turning myself over from front to back on the sunbeds was a breeze, previously a real struggle!

I recently went on holiday to Greece to recuperate, I had lots of small victories!
The plane seats were a better fit, the walk to a different terminal wasn't as tortuous and turning myself over from front to back on the sunbeds was a breeze, previously a real struggle!

I am sightly disappointed about my slow weight loss. I am a month out and have lost about 22lbs so far since surgery but 41 since I actually started the process.

What isn't disappointing though is all the benefits I have received since losing that 41lbs. I recently went to Greece to recuperate from the surgery for 11 days and I immediately noticed lots of things that put a smile on my face. The seats on the airplane were nowhere near as tight, I was able to turn over on the sunbeds without problems, this used to be such a struggle for me. I was able to lay on my back on a sunbed without automatically feeling that tightness in my throat that made me aware that if I fell asleep on the bed I would snore, huge difference!
Walking for miles when before I could literally walk half a mile and then have to lean on something to stop the backache. I might be losing slow but I really don't care, the improvement this surgery has already given me is enough compensation.

Almost 2 years out, 115 pounds down and still losing. Working on switching up to lose body fat and build muscle - so I'm not super concerned about the scale number right now. Haven't had plastics yet - that will account for another 10-12 pounds.
I eat 100-120 grams of Protein a day and drink about a gallon of water/unsweetened beverages at day. I work out 6 days a week. I fence competitively. I work with a personal trainer. I have learned to eat carbs again- which I only do when I am fencing multi day tournaments because my body needs the fuel.
My body fat is around 31% which rocks for a 56 year old post-menopausal woman. I went from a size 24 to a size 6.
Your sleeve is a tool. But the biggest, bestest, most badass tool is you brain. Get you head in the right place and don't accept failure as an option.

When people pray for me...it's like they're bringing me a cup of the worst flavor of coffee imaginable. Something I find really offputting and undrinkable.
And they're so proud when they hand it to me and say...I care about you...so here's my favorite coffee! And I smile and say thank you....but what I'm thinking is....Damn, it would have been nice if you got me a drink I like. Something that would help me or comfort me..or at least something I could gag down for hydration.
And maybe I should be grateful....maybe it's the thought that counts. But to me....all they've given me is a chore. Dumping it and wasting a cup.
It doesn't feel like love and concern when someone gifts you with something you don't want and can't use.
I'm not saying it's the worst thing in the world when people pray for me. I just think it's tone deaf and a waste...and more about reassuring themselves than supporting me.
Most folks are well intention, but I wish they understood that my beliefs are as precious to me as theirs are to them.
Praying for me is kinda like sending a Jesus "He Died For You" Easter card to Jewish friend. There's part of me that think you're sweet and appreciates that you thought of me.....and another part that considers you very very blind and self absorbed.
Praying for an atheist is like bringing a man a tampon. "I heard you were bleeding and wanted to help". You kinda look at it and go....Oh. Thanks? (and wonder what the hell to do with it) LOL. It's not that we think you're horrible for trying to help, and in many ways it's sort of endearing......we're just shocked that you can't see how weird this is for us.

Well I am almost 3 weeks out of surgery and have lost about 16lbs so far but 35 since I started the journey.

I lost 13lbs in the first week and then was disappointed when I "only" lost 3lbs this week, daft I know!

this needs to move back to the top for all to see and take heart from. NSV are important and each is personal and important to our mental health
so i will share a small NSV this morning.
Out of habit i sit here with my feet elevated as i have for years cause i need to keep the swelling down in my feet only as i look at my feet i realize i haven't need to do this for a while and i am doing it now out of pure habit.
I have lost 2 shoes sizes in the last 10 months and the bones in my feet show now that the fat is mostly gone.
The left foot is still larger than the right but it most likely will always be due to circulation issues that don't have anything to do with my WLS. So i sit here looking at my own feet and smiling cause i can see them sitting and just as importantly when i stand up.

Well maybe if you know people well enough to discuss something as personal as weight loss surgery with them they should be close enough to you to be aware that you are atheist. I do not discuss my medical history with casual acquaintances and have only told a select group of about 10-15 people anything about my WLS. I would never mention it on any social media sites I frequent.
I do have friends that are atheist and I have no problem accepting their beliefs which are different from mine and I agree that it would be insensitive to say I would pray for them.

So, here's a topic I know may anger some, but is there anyone else who can't stand when someone just assumes you're religious and offers to pray for you? As an atheist, I never presume to guess what anyone else's beliefs are and I don't go around telling random people there is no god, especially in a time of turmoil or crisis. So when I tell someone I'm having surgery, or about any other significant event, whether in person or online, how about a little common courtesy and not just assuming I believe as you do and leaving your religion out of it?
I'm not looking to debate the existence of god here, I'm just trying to get people to realize that other people believe differently than they do and to not make assumptions.

Breathe.
Why are you getting WLS? You don't have to answer here, just think about that.
Is food more important than why you decided to undergo WLS?
I fully understand your mindset. I grew up with a large Italian family. Food was EVERYTHING! I was also very scared about giving up all my go-to's and favorites. And it wasn't easy either. But guess what. I don't miss most of them. I've found ways around things, better options that get me close enough to that food that I don't miss it.

And not everyone is the same with food and dumping. I ate a whole piece of pizza and was fine. I felt run down and gross, but I wasn't sick. I've eaten fried raviolis, same deal, outside of feeling like junk, I was fine. I have had issues with things I didn't think I would, like Tomato Soup. And had ZERO issues at all with things I never thought would be fine, like Hersey's Kisses.
I can say, without a single shadow of a doubt, that I do not regret having the surgery. I thought I might for a bit, while going through stalls and smelling my kids toasting bread or cooking pizza... but, I got over it. I actually have some toast on occasion, I just go for the highest grain count I can. It costs more, but you eat SO much less that it almost balances out.
Side effect of me eating better, so does my family now. And they are all becoming healthier people as well.
Just focus on what you CAN do rather than what you CAN'T do. You'll have plenty of time to figure out your new stomach after you've been cleared to experiment.
Always remember your "Why's". It's just food. You have power of it, not the other way around.
You got this!

A little poetry for all of us
Weight Loss Surgery, it's not the EASY way
You have to make a commitment each and every day
Your diet,is forever changed but then so is your body
All those "Nay-Sayers" they are just being snotty!
You wager your body, there will be some pain
But better health and fitness you will gain.
I'm changing my life and lifestyle, that is true
But with the❤and support of my Bariatric Pal friends
I know I'll make it through!
My weight loss surgery is a tool--- not a toy
But each pound I'm losing, that gives me great joy!
Will you join me on my journey towards renewed health?
To know I can now have a future- that is really wealth.
So I walk bravely forward, content with whatever tomorrow will bring
And for me. Frust8 lies ahead my happiness in a Bariatric Spring.
May 5 2018😝

Wow, well with this surgery most people have some of the same negatives (the liquid diet), or have similar negative side effects (nausea/constipation), but also have good things to balance it out. I have gone through a lot of the same things as everyone else on here, and am also going through some stuff that may not be as common. Whether or not it makes us regret the surgery is definitely a personal experience based on many factors, but it seems like the majority come out on the side of No Regrets. Like you, I considered backing out a month or so before my surgery date. My daughter helped me realize that with surgery things may or may not get better, and yes, some things could possibly get worse (small percentage). But without it, probably nothing was going to change (at least not for the better). So it ended up being a no brainer and I felt extremely confident going forward even through the sucky pre-op diet (over Xmas) and what I assumed would just be a terrible first few months of puking and misery post-op. Things did not turn out the way I thought, and as I have just been journaling, I will share, if you care to read:
I am 5 months post-op as of yesterday. I am down 51.2 lbs, 31 total inches overall since pre-op, body fat percentage back under 30%. My weight loss has been a bit slower than most - they say probably bc my starting weight was lower (205.8) and also I have a lot of chronic pain so my workouts are not exactly intense. But thankfully the more I lose the better I can move. My body did not want to let go of these last couple lbs - I thought I'd never reach the 50 lb milestone! It was like 48, 48.5, 49.2, 49.6...like seriously? Lol, talk about a frustrating month! But I'm finally over that hurdle and goal is between 14-20 lbs from here. I'm short, so honestly I have always looked better lower than that - say in my 120's, but I'm older now and my skin is not bouncing back the way it once did, and gravity is a real son of gun. So I will probably stop around 135/140 in order to keep things looking a little more "well-rounded" - and I also think it will be easier to maintain. That's my thought process right now anyway.
My surgery itself went smooth, so no issues there. I have never vomited (which shocks me no end as I'm prone to nausea), I have felt nauseated 2-3x max - but it passed quickly. I do, however, have issues with reflux. Had reflux pre-op that was well controlled by OTC Nexium. Now it can be very painful at times. Like some others, I too think maybe I should have considered the by-pass more seriously, but also bc my ins did not cover and I went to MX as self-pay, the sleeve seemed like the best option overall.
One thing for me is I never lost the hunger sensation. My "Ghrelin Game's" strong, I guess. But the biggest "issue" I have had, and it's no small thing, is I still struggle with many solid foods. I have slowly introduced them as instructed and when instructed, chew chew chew, etc. But after maybe 5 small bites of MANY foods (I do ok w/some), I still feel hungry, so I intend to probably eat a few more bites to become satiated, but all of a sudden start getting bad pain in center of diaphragm...feel completely "clogged" or "backed up" with food even though I've eaten so little and I still felt hungry 2 seconds ago...then usually get some reflux...get the hiccups...will need to take Tums...often suck on 1 or 2 wintergreen Lifesavers as they also seem to help w/digestion...then suck on ice chips for a little while which also seems to help. It sounds pretty miserable, and honestly, it is. To avoid, I could probably take 2-3 small bites, wait 20-30 minutes and have another 2-3 bites. Or, just stick to eating softer food.
So, most nights I have yogurt for dinner with unflavored Protein Powder, chia seeds, a few mashed fresh blackberries, and a little organic coconut granola. It's about 5 oz. total, and I take my time eating that also - about 20 mins I'd say. Luckily, I enjoy the yogurt combo, but once or twice a week, I want Real Food for dinner, and that is my struggle. It's especially hard on the weekends bc my husband and I like to go out on Sat to a farmer's market or something and then have lunch (or dinner & a movie...). But it's miserable for me to sit at a restaurant where I can barely eat anything on the menu (comfortably) and then have to sit (w/back pain & probably stomach pain) and wait for my husband to enjoy his meal. Lately we haven't been going out much, which is a real drag.
I expected it to be like this for the first several mos, but figured it would slowly be getting better by now. I knew I'd have diet restrictions and certain foods would take longer to agree w/me (some might never work well again), but I didn't expect that So Many real foods (meaning meats/veggies, etc. dinner type foods) would be too painful to eat. For me this is the most difficult thing and I am praying it gets better w/time. If I can eat a couple oz. of chicken/turkey/fish/steak + say 1/2 cup of cooked veggies/salad/potatoes (whatever), w/o any pain or reflux, and enjoy my food & comfortably sit & enjoy the company of my husband (sisters/kids) until they finish eating, even if it's at 9 months or a yr post-op, I will be ok w/that. It's the thought that it might never happen that worries me.
On the other hand, when this happens, my husband feels so bad, and sometimes says, "I'm sorry babe, you must really regret having that surgery now." And I'm like, "No I don't! How else was I ever going to lose 50 pounds in 5 mos w/all the health/pain issues I have?" I never thought I would weigh 154 lbs again, much less 135-140 where I hope to land. So, yeah. It sucks that I have to eat yogurt for dinner most nights. (There are a handful of other things I could have instead, but some of those I have for breakfast/lunch/snacks, and also the yogurt is easy to throw together). But hopefully that will get better as more time passes, and if it doesn't...I don't know...I have to think it's got to be better than stuffing my face w/whatever I wanted but then feeling awful every time I got dressed or looked in the mirror...

We have an old fashioned bath that is narrower in the middle. I used to have to "lift" my hips over the middle bit to lay down in the bath, now, I just slide straight through the middle!

We have an old fashioned bath that is narrower in the middle. I used to have to "lift" my hips over the middle bit to lay down in the bath, now, I just slide straight through the middle!

Please research Telogen Effluvium for a better understanding of why there is Hair loss.