Booandfrida

I'm in Tampa and I am blowing all the hot air I can muster to send that beast away from you guys in South Florida!

I'm in Tampa and I am blowing all the hot air I can muster to send that beast away from you guys in South Florida!

I have 3 girls, 11, 8, 6, and I didn't tell them.
We eat healthy at home and I've been doing Crossift 4x's a week for over 2 years. I'm always talking about being healthy, getting exercise, etc, so I know they won't be surprised when the weight starts coming off -- they will see that I've been working at it.
For the overnight and the following days I was home recovering we told them I had the stomach bug and couldn't stop throwing up (which wasn't a total lie, I had awful nausea and was throwing up for a few days).
There's so much that goes into young girls and their body image that I just didn't feel that they needed to know what I was doing to myself. Maybe I'll tell them eventually, maybe not.

My daughter was 7 at the time of my surgery, she knew I was going to the hospital for an operation but I did not give her details, only told her sometimes things go wrong and the Dr decides you need an operation to put things right. I had so many issues growing up due to people (family friends and complete strangers) commenting on my body. I wasn't overweight as a child but I developed early and needed a bra by 9 yrs old. Grownups and other children began commenting on my body constantly, it got worse when I started to put on weight. I decided not to share specifics with my daughter because I am paranoid about making her conscious in a negative way about her body at such a young age. When we discuss food choices etc and lifestyle it's always in terms of health, not looks. It might be just my paranoia due to my own past and she could be perfectly fine with knowing exactly what happened, but I just wasn't comfortable sharing that I had bariatric surgery with her while she's still so small. I was worried that she would make a connection in her mind that if she doesn't like something about her body, she could just have an operation. When she's older I will tell her the truth.

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I definitely didn't catch it. I was distracted by my kids reading it which is prob everyone else reading the post too

I've got a 4, 7, and a 12 year old. All girls. They know that the doc had to fix my stomach so I can get healthier and in turn, I'll get smaller. My 7 year old exclaimed "Nooooooo, I don't want you to get that way. I love you the way you are now!" Awww. Lol.

I know exactly what you mean. I have a 9 year old who I'm debating on telling for that reason.

My 11 year old son knows about the surgery, but is confused why I'm still big. Everyday it's "why is your butt so fat?" Sigh. Before the surgery he very rarely mentioned my weight. I'm 2 months out.
Funny story... I was at chik fil a getting meals to go home for 2 kids, and one for the daughter that went with me. The worker thought I was ordering two meals for myself. I guess that could have embarassing before surgery, but knowing now that I could only eat maybe 1/2 of a chicken patty.. it was hilarious.

I told my 5 year old daughter (5 and a half more precisely) that I was getting my stomach cut out because daddy's too fat caused by eating too much sugary garbage food and drinking too many sodas. She's been tracking the wounds on my abdominal region as well since surgery (I prefer walking around the house shirtless unless we have company), and I've answered all questions she has as best I can.
There's a couple factors for this.. 1) I'm shamelessly direct with people, 2) I think it's counterproductive to removing the stigma by being secretive and/or shameful about it, 3) I don't beat around the bush when it comes to informing my daughter -- I want all my children to know everything, and 3) She needs to understand the consequences of decisions, and not make the dumb mistakes daddy did. So rather than just keep her away from sugary junk (not entirely, just very limited) with no explanation, which is more likely to lead to a rebellious attitude about it, it's simply more in line with my personality and what I think raising a child smartly should be like.
Because of the lifestyle changes I've made with great results, my wife has begun changing things too (after months of me nagging her about soda and wanting her to reduce her carb intake dramatically) and my daughter is engaged in understanding why we do the things we do. It's entirely possible she talks to people at school and student care (i.e. after-school care) about it, but most of them already know my circumstances anyways, and I really don't care what others think, or what they approve or disapprove of. If they have an issue with the choices I make they can confront me, otherwise, couldn't give a toss what others think.

My worry right now... I want to tell my 7 year old, I want him to see what a process this is for me but I'm not sure he'd keep it to himself so still weighing my options...

Yeah I have a toddler and was sleeved last month. She's noticed a difference and so have I, at our playgroup I can chase her and not be winded. She likes using the now shrinking boob's as drums and keeps checking they are there as they not so big lol

Our wee one is still young but having friends with school-age kids and had surgery too the biggest issue they had is when their kids told the whole school about the surgery.

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@lynnediligaf - I am in agreement! My surgery date is in October and plan on telling no family or friends b/c it's def a personal and private experience!
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The only reason I would tell someone at work or school is if I could tell that they needed encouragement to go through the process themselves. Other than two friends who I know can keep the secret, everyone else can kiss my tiny tush. I don't owe anyone an explanation. "I am following a strict diet plan with the help of a nutritionist" is all they are getting out of me.
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I told 6 people a year ago and wish I'd only told my wife (if I was single, no one). The problem isn't "dumb things people say", it's the fact that by telling "just a few close friends and family", you never really know if your secret is safe.
As @@Dub says, once you drop a ton of weight people will start asking and before you know it, you're being less than honest with very close friends.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying keeping a health issue a secret is dishonest, but imagine how you'd feel if a long term friend discovered it from someone else?
Worse, most likely, you'd never find out they knew, but their opinion of your friendship could surely suffer!
Keep it a secret or tell everyone!

I know exactly how you feel. I didnt tell my Mom because of the way she is. She's always told me I'm fat and then tried to apologize by feeding my Mcdonalds and buying me junk food.
I'm not telling anyone because I don't want them thinking I'm taking the easy way out when, like you, I've struggled with weight loss for years

I'm glad others are thinking the same way as me. I wouldn't say I'm a loner but I like to do things my own way. You've strengthened much belief that no one needs to know about it. Thank you.
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Some people like to talk to others about their private lives, some don't. I love to talk and all but I don't want people at work or school knowing what is going on in my personal life. Some of us are like that. The energy required for one to explain what is going on or what you did to everyone over and over can be tiring and invested somewhere else.
Personally I knew that sharing this with others was going to invite unnecessary drama and attention towards me so I chose not to tell anyone. Given the chance again, I will do the same thing. If someone asks, tell them you have some health issues you are working on and move on.
I do suggest you let at least one person in your life know what is going on so they can keep an eye on you from the distance. A good friend or a sibling..
I can and I will.

My husband and medical team knows. And two friends who live 1000 miles away (in opposite directions and don't even know each other).
It's been a non-issue. I didn't lose hugely fast. And I've yo-yo dieted a gazillion times, so everyone just thought I was on another diet and finally made it stick.
I've lost 100 pounds and now weigh 135.
YOU are in charge of your information. Do what makes YOU comfortable. Put your needs and yourself first.

@lynnediligaf - I'm in a similar situation as you. I'm a little older than you, with a much higher BMI, but I'm also single, live alone in another country far from friends and family, am getting the surgery done in Mexico, and I don't intend on telling anyone until (maybe) after the surgery. Even then it would probably just be my parents but I'm not sure my mom could keep it secret.
As others have said, it's really nobody's business but our own.

Thank you so much for your replies. I know that if I tell one family member, others will find out. I just think it's my business and no one else's. There's one friend that I might tell at some point, but not until I've had it done. I kind of just want this to be my own journey without anyone watching. Yeah they'll see I've lost weight, but I've lost it in the past ... Just haven't kept it off. I live in a different country to all my friends and family, and I'm having the surgery done in Mexico (I've researched the place thoroughly) so no one will wonder where I am and they'll not see the weight coming off, as I'll not see any of them for a few months.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who isn't telling people. I just can't be arsed with being known as "the woman that had fat surgery" what people don't know won't hurt them
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@@lynnedilligaf
People know I had surgery but they all live several states away. My family doesn't know, and none of my business associate know. I don't have the dreaded co-worker issue most people seem to have.
It is pretty easy to keep to yourself. And spite of people on message boards saying that "everyone will know you had surgery when you lose all that weight!". They really don't. As long as you aren't sitting on your ass all day eating bon bons people are going to think you put in hard work to lose weight, and it will be the truth because losing weight even with surgery is hard. Also for you, your BMI is low enough, you won't drop weight super fast and you don't have a lot to lose, so it should be easy to keep it to yourself.
If you really want to keep it to yourself. That means keeping it to yourself. Anyone you tell can be the weak link that tells someone else and then boom, everyone knows. All of my friends that know are friends with me but not with each other.

Hi! I'm up for surgery 27th September, and plan not to tell anyone eccept my husband and my parents. My bmi is 38, and i practically have the same bakgrund as you. Surgery is a personlally thing, and you decide if you want to be open or not. Best of luck!
I wish I was as fat as I was the first time I felt fat.

Hi everyone! I've recently been cleared for surgery (sleeve gastrectomy) and arranged a date of 26th September. Very excited! I'm 31, have a BMI of 35, and single. I've tried (and failed) to lose weight for the past 16 years. Same story as everyone else - I lose 20 lbs and put 30 back on.
I've not told anyone about the surgery, and I don't plan to. I just think that people will think I'm taking the easy way out. No one else in my family has any weight issues, and I know they just think I'm lazy for being so fat. I'm definitely going ahead with the surgery, but wanted to know if anyone else had done it without telling anyone? I just can't be bothered with them judging me!
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Yes, I only told my husband and I am so so thankful that I didn't tell anyone else. If you are single and are telling absolutely no one I think you will have to hire a nurse to drive you home from the hospital and maybe get you settled in for a half a day. Other than that, totally do-able on your own. I went to hospital by myself and wanted to take an Uber home but the Dr. told me I needed someone to stay with me for 24 hours. Good luck!

Thank you!! Im in Eastern Naples which is right in the lower middle of the state.....Right where its due to hit....I'm pretty prepared, just so anxious and my go to thing is eating. I'm fighting through it though.