lovely_tai

Let me begin by saying that I have been completely open about my entire weight loss journey , including the surgery, with anyone and everyone since I made the decision to do this and began my six month pre-op diet program almost a year ago.
At 5.5 months out, I have now lost 180 pounds. And, trust me, people notice, and it always is a topic of conversation. How could it not be? And you know what, the surgery is probably less than 10% of those conversations. People are more mesmerized at the transformation and the hard work it took to make these changes in my life. Not one single person has said one negative thing about the surgery because, surgery or not, losing 180 pounds is an incredible accomplishment.
Everyone has the right to privacy, and, in this case, the right to tell people or to not tell people, but it has been my experience that the surgery part of the equation is not the most prominent.
Am I a poster boy for WLS? No. But, to these people, am I a poster boy for weight loss and changing my life for the better? Yes, I am. And again, how could I not be? You don't come across people who lose this kind of weight every day.
To each his or her own on this one...

Hi and welcome @lovely_tai!
I totally get how you feel. I'm currently at the "waiting for insurance approval" stage, so I have been neck deep in all of this for a few months.
When I began, I was 100% in your shoes. This isn't anyone else's business, it is a private matter, I won't share unless asked point blank.
As I've gone along this process though, I've found myself revisiting that attitude. I'm excited about this now. I went into it ashamed, as though getting the surgery was accepting failure. Now I realize that I'm accepting help and a tool.
I've told my closest friends and one coworker (who will be covering for me). Aside from one person who is young and doesn't understand my struggle, everyone else has been overwhelmingly supportive. I'm SO glad I told. I had been nervous that they wouldn't get it.
I still have no intention of telling random people. If they ask point blank if I had surgery, I'd say yes. If someone asked me my secret though, I'd just say that I finally found something that works for me. Technically it isn't lying!

I do not think that anyone is the poster child for WLS.
I tend to not mind talking to people about it because I feel like just letting people know my story and where I am heading, will allow them to truly understand my decision. I also do not care what people think about it as well. When they start saying it is an easy way out, I hit them with this:
"Oh, so having to learn how to eat Protein first, then vegetables and then carbs sound easy. Better yet, being pain and having to heal your body sounds easy. Changing your mindset on how you view food sounds easy. Making mistakes of eating something too spicy, too sweet or just does not agree and having dumping syndrome sound easy? You would not tell a drug addict that it is easy to stop using, yet you will tell me that it is easy to take this path?"
Sorry, sometimes I go hardcore. This is a godsend to people like us that have tried everything in our power. From the failed fad diets to the large sums of money spent, this is the last option.
I believe that you can choose who you want to inspire and who you don't. To me, not everyone needs to know your business and whats going on in your life. I use this forum mostly, as people will be able to understand me more.
I could just be rambling at this point as well.

I had gastric bypass a year ago and I can share my experience as someone who was very open about it. I didn’t shout it from the rooftops but I did tell close family, a few friends and colleagues before the surgery. After, as I noticeably started to lose weight a lot of curious people asked "how are you doing it?" , "what's your secret?". I've always been honest and said I had weight loss surgery. 95% of people respond with "good for you", no more questions asked. The other 5% want to know more, what you can eat, what it feels like to lose that much weight. They're generally curious and 2 ppl I know have since had the surgery. At this point if you know me you know I've had WLS.

I don't feel like a poster child nor do I feel like im spilling all of my personal details everyday. I've been super lucky to never encounter any negativity from anyone.

Not saying you should share with everyone and you should only do what makes you feel comfortable. Just wanted to give the perspective of someone who has been through it and has decided to be open.

I'm pre-op as well and I haven't wrestled with this at all: I share my belief that losing over 100lbs on my own is not realistic for me. I tell them about the pain in my lower back/knees/feet and how excited I am about being pain-free for the first time in a long time. And then I tell them I thank God I have this option.
This is the same way I've lived my life for 55 years
Once I have the surgery and start losing weight I'll handle the questions the same way.
If the topic turns negative I have the option of not engaging with anyone who is negative about my choice.
And then I'll keep losing weight and frolicking through the tulips with less pain.
The End.
😊😜😁👍🏽 💃🏻

You've just perfectly summed up my thoughts and concerns about this perfectly. I'm having the same dilema! I'm having my sleeve op next month.
My family have been amazingly supportive, and I've told a few close friends who've also been great. I'm not ashamed and I don't want to lie, but what do you say when you don't want to discuss it? I wondered about trying to brush it off with a 'oh I just needed to get a grip of myself' then move on. But some people will keep pushing for an answer I guess, so I'm still working out a plan to deal with that. So basically, I'm not much help to you with advice but am in the same boat.
Good luck with your journey!

Hi everyone . I'm in the beginning stages of my wls journey as I was recently accepted into a Bariatric program and have my first meeting with a surgeon next week! I'm planning to move forward with the sleeve. I have been doing a lot of research and preparing myself mentally for the changes that lay ahead.
One thing that is really bothering me is not wanting to be the poster child for wls! I'm a private person and the idea of having to tell people (outside my immediate family) I had this surgery is driving me nuts. I also don't want to lie to anyone who asks how I'm losing all this weight! "Oh I'm just exercising and eating right blah blah..." I'm not ashamed so I don't feel the need to lie, and I also don't want to miss out on an opportunity to encourage or inspire someone who may be thinking about surgery. And I don't want to contribute to the stigma of this surgery. However, opening up about the procedure invites more questions, scrutiny, etc and at this point, I just don't think I will want to share those private things about me... just doesn't feel right.
I'm not really sure what my question is, but what are others thoughts about this? Should I just suck it up and accept that I will be known for this and prepare to answer people's questions? Or is there really a way to do this privately? Lying to people is not an option I'm considering because I think it will be damaging to my self image. Thanks in advance for any insights!

Good bye. ..McDonald's Sweet Tea. I will miss your sweetness. You are my most favorite drink in the world. I spent good money on you week after week. But that's all over.
Good bye....candy. Oh candy. Our relationship is almost 40 years old. Many times you have been my best friend. Any and all types of candy. I have loved you all. There is something so fabulous about eating candy...but the reality is that you were a bandaid to my life. If I got upset, happy, mad or sad...you were always there. But that's all over.
Good bye Cool Ranch Doritos and Lime Tostitos. You two were good for a night time hang out. But that's all over.
Good bye Soda...esp Wild Cherry Pepsi. I mean come on your WILD and quick and easy to find at every check out aisle in every store. But that's all over.
Today I am breaking up with all of you. I am starting my Day 1 of PreOp. Your power and control over me are no more. I am ready to make new friends. Friends that will take care of my body, heal my body, nourish my body....not slowly try to kill me. You and I have had a lifetime together. But your time has ended and mine is just beginning....and you will not have any power left over me.
Sincerely,
The girl who loved you too much but realizes she deserves more.