tasha_kelo

Hello I am curious to know if anyone had trouble keeping their curvy shape after the bypass. I think I see more women who keep their shape with the sleeve...I would like to hear if anybody lost all their curves or if they stayed in tact?
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Following my divorce I took a year to make sure I was emotionally clean before beginning to date. Two years ago when I was 300 pounds I had some success with Match.com. I took a break from dating following the surgery. I decided to try eHarmony in January. Now that I am 80 pounds lighter I have had even more success. Just being more attractive helps. I think it has done great things for my confidence. Most women in my age/target demographic group are health conscious. They don't want to date a guy who is pre-diabetic.

Many people complain online dating doesn't work, and they feel rejected and ignored. My question is how seriously are you taking the process? Have you invested in high quality pictures to go on your profile? Have you looked at the myriad of resources out there to put together a really good profile? Do you know how many people are visiting the site you are on? (Go to http://www.alexa.com/ and look up the dating site you are interested in. You can find out how many men/women visit per day and other info to see if the numbers are high enough for you to invest your time there).

Speaking of numbers - do you know how many prospective singles are in your area? There are 2368 single women, 40-50 who are employed with college degrees within 25 miles of my house. How do I know? I looked up the census bureau information. Do a little checking and you will find there are sites which will give you a good indication of how many prospective singles there are. One reason why you may not be getting many dates is there are not enough prospects in your area. Just knowing this helps you understand why you are not getting any interest to your profile. The fewer prospects you have, the longer the search will take. It is just a numbers thing. If you have 1000 people, some will be dating and will not be on the market, but then they break up and are back on the market. Be realistic.

Getting dates is just sales and marketing (don't get judgmental; makeup/Spanx/pushup bras are just sales and marketing tools too). Here is a link to one of the best profiles I have ever seen. Back before the internet people used personal ads in newspapers to find dates. This is Gary Halbert's ad: http://www.thegaryha...Personal_Ad.pdf The profile is perfect, it describes him, what he DOESN'T WANT, and then what he wants. Your profile needs to follow the same pattern. A good online dating profile uses direct response marketing principles, but instead of selling a book, you are selling you. Test your profile. Put up different pictures. If one version doesn't work at attracting the people you want to meet, try another. I did three tests versions before I found one that worked well for me.

Women, please don't feel the need to respond to every guy who sends you a note. Online dating is a numbers game. It is a tool to help you get higher quality prospective dates than simple random chance. Be safe. Every state has criminal/court records online. Get to know how to use those tools. Learn to Google someone. It's not creepy, it's just smart. And always insist the first meeting be at a Starbucks during the day (lots of light, lots of exits). Invest 20 minutes in the initial meeting. If there pictures match what you see, then go for a real date.

Another complaint I have heard - everyone is just interested in sex. I don't think that is true, but why is there so much early sex in online dating? Well in my case I am mostly dating people who are divorced. We are used to having sex after going out on a date from our married days, so that makes sense there will be more sex than when we first dated before marriage. The other reason is by the time you actually go out you actually should have gotten to know the other person fairly well online. You get information that would normally take 3 or 4 dates to find out, so physical intimacy seems OK earlier than when you are starting the dating process.

My dating maxims and other unsolicited advise
1) Women (wither they know it or not) always control the pace of a relationship
2) Men will continue to pursue as long as they are interested
3) If they are not pursing, then they are not interested
4) Some element of tension is vital to a growing relationship or it gets flaccid and it keeps everyone on their best behavior
5) It takes six months before all the shields and protections are down to really know someone
6) Biggest danger in online dating -- grass is always greener syndrome. This will keep you from committing to a good person because there may be someone better online.

Enjoy the process. It's not rejection, it's just feedback. It's a numbers game, but be safe, be real and don't be cavalier with people's hearts.

My approval came back in 12 days

We've tried very hard and spent a lot of money over the last three years to get this site going. It's extremely hard to start a dating site from scratch. When I researched making this site, I learned that most companies make up 500 - 1,000 fake profiles and send fake messages to people. I wasn't about to do something as dishonest as this. What I do need for this dating site to be a success is for people to talk about it and share the link with their friends. A lot of people say negative things about the site because it's not got 100,000 members. I'm not sure where people think I'm magically supposed to make those people appear from.
This dating site is totally free to use, unlike other sites. I am happily married and don't need the site. The site was created two and a half years ago when I was talking to some wls friends about the hardships of dating after wls. I thought how cool it would be to date or even marry someone living the same lifestyle. I asked my husband to build the site and I assumed the wls community would support it and advertise it. It takes a village to make a new dating site successful.
As I stated earlier, this site cost me a few thousand dollars. I did it because I am passionate about weight loss surgery, relationships and helping people succeed. The site is completely free to use. The only person it costs is me.
There have been at least three successful relationships come from the site that I know of.
It would be great if rather than talking negatively about the site and the lack of members if people would help support it by sharing the link with your friends and in your online support groups. Only then will the wls singles grow.
Thanks so much and good luck!

My doctor said to wait for a year too. I won't be able to since I'm going on vacation in May. Which is like 3-months post op. I'm planning on trying Sangria first since it's my favorite wine & its "healthy" since fruits are usually added to it, so there goes the natural sugars. [emoji6]


Height: 5'0"
Weight for WLS consultation: 216 lbs.
Surgery date: 2/13/17
Goal: -71 lbs for healthy BMI (about 145 lbs).
Current weight: 185.2
My profile picture is not me. It's my "FITspiration" body.

Please, feel free to privet message me!

This is so smart! My doctors also told me to wait a year before I have a drink. My best friend is getting married in July so I have the bachelorette weekend and wedding with no alcohol I will just have to psych myself out! Pregnant for the day lol

This is so smart! My doctors also told me to wait a year before I have a drink. My best friend is getting married in July so I have the bachelorette weekend and wedding with no alcohol I will just have to psych myself out! Pregnant for the day lol

I just got my date today!!! So excited I will be going in on March 22nd! Congratulations to everyone!

I just got my date today!!! So excited I will be going in on March 22nd! Congratulations to everyone!

I initially thought that I wouldn't tell anyone other than close friends and family. But, when someone asked me how I was losing weight and I replied with "High protein/low carb diet and working out!" it just felt wrong coming out of my mouth, and felt like a lie. Or at least a half truth. I didn't like it.
Ever since, I've been upfront and honest about having the sleeve surgery as a tool to help me in my journey, and I've gotten nothing but positive feedback. Some people ask questions because they don't understand how it works, some people ask me questions because they have been thinking of having it themselves. Things probably would have been different though if I hadn't had such a support network, and supportive and positive experience in revealing the route I've taken.

They are concerned that I'm going to loose to much and become sick.

You are doing this for you, no one else and it will be one of the best decisions you ever make. Your family may or may not come around but you will be healthier! I'm one year out this week and no regrets. Best of luck to you!

I have not told anyone but my one sister and that is only because she had it done so she is very supportive. I haven't even told my work. Told them I was having hernia surgery (which I am having that to) just don't need to be judged.

You are making a life changing decision and some will understand and some won't. When I had my Gastric Bypass ( 6-16-14) my true friends were there for me and supported me through the whole thing. My sister told me I was taking the easy way out. She said I should just go to a nutritionist and go on yet another diet. My primary care physician was against it saying I should just go on a low fat diet. I have been on every diet known to man and I would gain weight on the diets. But, I do not regret for one second that I had my LIFE SAVING Surgery. I lost 146 pounds and went from a size 28 women's down to a size 9 juniors and am off all medication for my heart, arthritis, and diabetes. I am free of diets forever and healthy. If you do this you will be free of a over weight sick body. Love yourself, do it for yourself and do not let those around you bring yourself down. I wish you a speedy recovery from surgery.

I just got my date today!!! So excited I will be going in on March 22nd! Congratulations to everyone!

I just got my date today!!! So excited I will be going in on March 22nd! Congratulations to everyone!

I still avoid carbonation most days as it bothers my stomach but no issues with champagne...but coolers and beer cause bloating and dumping for me...wine is fine. I'm 18 months post op.

I got my surgery date for March 22nd! Very nervous but excited!

They still don't understand and they see you have lost that much weight

I had the MGB surgery and my friends and family still don't understand however my daughters are very happy that I have lost 100 pounds in 9 months. I have went down 10 Jean sizes and lost 153 inches. This is an amazing life changer for the better.

Everything was worth it!!!
The most pain was when I woke up in recovery but the drugs worked so I was good to go the rest of the day. The pain really wasn't that bad in comparison to the gas pressure. The hospital encourages you to walk after and so do! It really does help! Even if you don't feel like it...walk. You get gas...walk it off for relief. If you feel any pain don't hesitate to get pain meds they really help immediately. I have 6 small incisions and one you can't even see and another you can barely see. I'm putting scar removal oil on them and it's helping. Trust you will be fine and keep us posted please:) this is a great community of people!
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I just got my date today!!! So excited I will be going in on March 22nd! Congratulations to everyone!

Hello I am curious to know if anyone had trouble keeping their curvy shape after the bypass. I think I see more women who keep their shape with the sleeve...I would like to hear if anybody lost all their curves or if they stayed in tact?
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Hi!
I'm a 28 yr old female & I just had my a consultation with my surgeon today. Initially I wanted to get the sleeve but after talking to him I am now considering the bypass. He said I could choose either one. I know a few people who have gotten the bypass years ago and they have had complications and have had to have more than one surgery. I would really like to hear from people on both sides on whether they had any issues and if they did have issues if in the end they believe it was worth it...the though of not being able to eat certain foods for the rest of my life is a littler nerve racking but I would like to also do something that I know will be effective as I would like to loose at least 100 pounds. Any feedback is appreciated!
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App