Didjit

I'm glad you didn't rule women out. Some things are universal rather than gender-specific.
You'll find disappointment down the road if you look for it. We tend to find what we seek in any realm. As to medical troubles, I think the question is 99% moot. There is risk with any surgery. There is risk upon getting out of bed each day. There is risk from staying in bed.
It would be nice if your husband had expressed faith in your resolve to follow through. At the very least it helps to have our closest people not make faces at us. What matters more is your own faith. In a perfect world he would and/or will be your "second main support," if I may put it that way. We all need to be our own main supports. We're "It."
@@Aggiemae raised a significant question. It's common for the closest people who are obese or even common-garden overweight to resent surgery. The fears usually center around losing the eating partner or being the only fat person in a room as the other slims down. It's important to talk about this stuff in a worthwhile relationship. Opening the subject isn't the easiest, but it can save the connection.

The key words in your original post are "failed to stick with the plan". Get qualified and make changes one at a time. By the time surgery is scheduled you'll know whether or not you can do it.
Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

At my heaviest, I weighed 397 pounds at 6'0". During my six-month insurance-required diet program, I lost 99 pounds, weighing 298 on the day of my surgery (same as you now). Even having lost all of that weight pre-op, I knew that I needed the surgery. I needed it to anchor the second half of my weight loss. I needed it to help me not gain all of the weight back later. I needed it to help me finish taking control of my life. I needed it to help me carve out a healthy pathway to lead the second half of my life.
The food stages immediately after the surgery sucked. Of course they did. I lived on liquids for over 3 weeks. (And I was lucky; I didn't have to do the 2 week pre-op liquid diet of death that most people have to do because I lost all of the weight I did pre-op.) The day of surgery and the first 2 days after sucked. Of course they did. I had major surgery, and put my body through a trauma.
But, you know what? By Day 3, I started rebounding, and it was quick. By Week 7, I had been through the food stages. Now, I am at Week 9 post-op, and I feel great. I've lost another 40 pounds since the surgery and I am well on the way to meeting all of my goals.
Yes, you have to have discipline along with perseverance, grit and mental toughness to be successful in this journey. The surgery doesn't do it for you. But if you can find it within yourself to muster those necessary qualities, you will be successful.
I'll admit, I've been lucky. My partner has lost 110 pounds as I have lost almost 140. He weighed 316 when he started, so he didn't have quite as much to lose as me. He didn't go the route of the sleeve, and has been successful, but he hasn't battled his weight all of his life like I have. He has been my rock and nothing but supportive of everything, as I have been to him.
I'd have a serious sit-down with your husband and try to get at the real underlying reasons for his feelings. Does he battle his weight? Is he insecure about your relationship in any way? My partner and I both know that outside attention from other guys when we go out is going to become something we have to deal with. In fact, we already are having to deal with it. That is just how the gay male world works.
Anyway, good luck as you continue your journey. I have no regrets at all, and I wish the same for you.

Ah, of course. How could I forget, it's the whole point of WLS.
So if you loose 30% then you get drunk 30% faster or with a 30% smaller drink.
I've been thinking, and I suspect the stomach acts as a "holding tank", releasing its contents (alcohol) slowly over time, and that with a smaller stomach the alcohol now hits the small intestine faster at a higher concentration. So the liver hits its max faster and the brain gets hit with the difference.
Thanks for indulging a nerd.

Didjit, Be careful buying ahead too much. Most of WLS peeps have their taste change after their Surgery.

I don't agree. According to the advertisements alcohol free beer is supposed to be tasting just like the real stuff. I also think we should all keep in mind that advertisement companies don't have our well-being in mind. Their goal is to sell products. Some stuff sells, some stuff doesn't sell. Sex sells for example. So obviously does luscious chocolate.
I personally don't mind that Celebrate Calcium chews chocolate and caramel don't taste like 100% crap. I don't know who thinks something like this tastes "exactly like candy" or something. I don't really like them, but at least I'm taking them without having to gag. There must be something wrong with the taste buds of people who can't taste the difference. Same goes for milkshakes and Protein shakes. Someone already mentioned Protein brownies.
If people want to be purists they can be. I don't mind. I personally prefer supplements that don't taste like "oh my god I have to turn off my taste buds to be able to swallow them".

It all just strikes me as a bad idea. You'd never market Water to an alcoholic that "tastes just like whiskey!" but here's a whole industry built around selling candy-ish bars to people struggling with weight as healthy food.
That said, I'm planning on picking up a bunch of different powders and drinks later this week so I can taste-test before I begin the pre/post-op diets.

It all just strikes me as a bad idea. You'd never market Water to an alcoholic that "tastes just like whiskey!" but here's a whole industry built around selling candy-ish bars to people struggling with weight as healthy food.
That said, I'm planning on picking up a bunch of different powders and drinks later this week so I can taste-test before I begin the pre/post-op diets.

@@Didjit I detest the flavored Protein powders, other than a coffee/protein combo I get from Click. I have that one and a canister of GENEPRO and that's it. I've given all the flavored ones (chocolate Splendor, for real???) to others in my support group. I find the belief, by the companies that make this stuff, that cramming in Desserts is what WLS patients are looking for almost offensive.

Watch out for specialized bariatric Vitamins and Calcium. You can tell they are trying to appeal to the fat brain in all of us "lemon delight" or "creamy caramel" or "chocolate fudge truffle" vitamins and supplements packed with calories and carbs. And then you read people here saying things like, I just love my chocolate fudge truffle Iron chews, they are just like a candy bar! My daily treat!
No one needs candy masquerading as vitamins and minerals. Go take a Feosol tablet, a generic chewable Multi-Vitamin, and save the calories, carbs, and money you would otherwise be throwing away on the fake candy vitamins.
/rant mode

My husband works in the OR at a top Hospital. He's against me having the surgery because he sees a lot of return patients who are getting revisions after having gained back the weight, and he doesn't think I have the discipline to stick with the plan. This last part is hard to hear. I feel like I do, and that in the past I have stuck with "the plan", but that "the plan" wasn't enough for me -- that I would need "the extreme plan". And I did stick to "the extreme plan" for most of a decade, but I can't maintain that intensity anymore. I feel like my stomach is too big and too loud for the amounts I should be consuming, and that WLS would correct that. Unfortunately, I don't think I can ever get my husband away from thinking "if only you had enough will power" and that WLS is cheating or avoiding personal responsibility.

We're all trying to lose weight right? And we're all trying to break bad habits, like attachments to candy and Desserts, right? So then why are most of the Protein powders and drinks things like "luscious chocolate" and "creamy vanilla"? I suppose "boiled broccoli" would be gross, but even apple becomes apple pie, and lemon becomes lemon sorbet. Isn't this just reinforcing bad habits? Do our stomach-brains know there's a difference between a Protein Drink and a malted chocolate ice cream frappe?
Seems like it'd be better to stick to unflavored supplements in Water or milk, things like Orange that aren't Orange Chiffon. Anyone find they've become addicted to chocolate milk shakes for lunch everyday? Or that the jump to a "real" milk shake becomes more tempting?

Thanks, @@The New Kel. It's a relief to hear about your experience. I hope it continues for you and that my experience is similar. Thanks for the support!

@@Didjit,
I enjoyed reading your thoughtful post and questions. I can really relate to where you are. Like you, I am in my late 40s, and I have a very similar weight history as yours. I'm only 5'3" but I weighed 240 at my highest, which I think was a BMI of 43.
Like you, I have a history of exercising extensively, only to justify eating terribly later.
I have a memory being 23 years old, in the USAF, living in a dorm room, lonely, 2200 miles away from family. On my days off, I would run a couple miles, then bike ride several miles, then lift weights. My "reward" was to go to Burger King or Arby's and order huge amounts of food, and stuff myself. So dysfunctional.
To give you a bit of insight as to how I have reacted to the sleeve so far: (I am just over a month post op)..
I was addicted to food, especially high calorie fast foods. The withdrawal from those foods for about 2-3 weeks post op wasn't easy ( I even had dreams of eating burgers, lol). But, I came to grips with the addiction and looked it in the eye and admitted that I had been choosing a terrible lifestyle.
Around week 3 post op those foods lost their hold on me and I no longer want them. My appetite is fair now, and I only get hungry when my body requires fuel. And then, the hunger is satisfied with a couple ounces of good Protein. My new stomach knows that bad foods, carbs, sugars and fillers will make it feel bad, and so that feeling overrides any mental head hungers. That's the beauty of the surgery. You simply don't have room for the bad stuff. At least this is my experience so far.
I think you are going to do great. You are already asking the right questions and you are already facing your demons by inquiring and admitting your weaknesses. This is a great big huge part of WLS success, tackling (and admitting) the mental issues we have with our relationship with food.
Sounds like you're truly ready, and have the insight be very successful with WLS.
Kel

Thanks for the reply, @@Bufflehead! It's helpful (& hopeful) to hear about your experience. I'm trying to keep my expectations realistic, and I'm trying to enter this as self-honestly as I can. I'm not expecting a magic pill (or scalpel), but the effort and commitment has to be realistic as well. It sounds like your experience is what I'm hoping for: regular moderate exercise and a realistic healthy diet to maintain a trim healthy body.

It really varies from person to person. I lost hunger completely for about eight months after surgery, but it gradually came back. At that point I was pretty close to goal and highly motivated not to give in to it. Other people never get their hunger back. Others start feeling hungry as soon as their stomach heals. It's not something that can be predicted -- but I would guess that what I experienced is more common than either never feeling hungry again, or feeling hungry right after surgery.
My hunger remains less in intensity than it used to be, but it is there. I do have to work to maintain a slim, healthy body. I will have to work at it for the rest of my life. It doesn't feel like a life or death struggle, but it is work. I watch what I eat very carefully (no more plates of pasta!) and I exercise regularly. The thing is though, my surgeon taught me that if you live in the developed world and you are over 30 and have a healthy body weight, chances are extremely high that you work for it, and work hard. That applies to everyone, not just the formerly morbidly obese or weight loss surgery patients. I had to accept that this is my life going forward, it is better than morbid obesity, and it isn't unfair. It's just something I have to do to keep healthy. It's worth it, and it's not nearly as hard as I would have imagined pre-op. Good luck!