DaleCruse

It's more head hunger than anything. When I was at your stage, I felt like I was drowning in hunger. Then, all of a sudden, one day I didn't feel hungry anymore. Your day is coming soon, I bet! Good luck. You are not alone.

It's more head hunger than anything. When I was at your stage, I felt like I was drowning in hunger. Then, all of a sudden, one day I didn't feel hungry anymore. Your day is coming soon, I bet! Good luck. You are not alone.

You lost 28 pounds in two months & you're complaining?! Did you ever put on 28 pounds in two months? I bet you didn't!
Bluster aside, what you're experiencing is well within "normal" ranges. As long as you're doing what you're supposed to do (you are, right?) your body will start losing again.
Welcome to your new life. You are not alone. Good luck.

I hear you. You *might* have vagus nerve problems, but you might not. Does that mean you shouldn't have the surgery? Let me ask another question: You *might* get hit by a car crossing the street. Does that mean you shouldn't leave the house? No matter what we do, there are risks. Even doing nothing has risks, especially when it comes to our bodies.
In your plea, I hear fear talking. It's time to tell fear to STFU. Good luck!

How's your blood pressure? It sounds like it may be low.
Good luck. You are not alone.

I hear you. You *might* have vagus nerve problems, but you might not. Does that mean you shouldn't have the surgery? Let me ask another question: You *might* get hit by a car crossing the street. Does that mean you shouldn't leave the house? No matter what we do, there are risks. Even doing nothing has risks, especially when it comes to our bodies.
In your plea, I hear fear talking. It's time to tell fear to STFU. Good luck!

I wanted to post this ongoing photo grouping that I've been working on with my sons. It started as a great way to show their aging, but it's also showcasing my weight loss.

2010, pre-band. I was around 370 in this photo.
2014, post-band. I was around 310 in this photo.
2018, post-bypass. I was 237 in this photo.

Just wanted to show everyone that, even just 4 years can change things so drastically, 8 years is even more amazing. Looking forward to going back and taking another update in 4 years, I can't wait to see what 12 years of changes looks like.

So when you are just a handful of days out of surgery and are feeling like nothing is changing. Or when you are stalled out for a week and are super frustrated. Please remember, this is a long term adjustment. Some folks are lucky and do see really fast results, but that doesn't mean anyone that doesn't see fast results is a failure.

Just keep looking at the horizon and taking 1 more step forward. Soon enough, you'll be where you want to be.

First, don't beat yourself up. Instead, be your own best friend. What would you want your best friend to tell you about buying all those? Whatever that is, tell yourself that. Say it out loud to yourself if need be.
Next, I urge you to reconsider your relationship with food. You know this item is your food trigger. Instead of thinking of the pleasure it brings you, focus on the pain it brings you. Think about how it makes you feel.
One you reach the point that you understand that food item is hurting you more than helping you, "break up" your relationship with that food. It's a toxic relationship so let it go.
Good luck. You are not alone.

Herbs & spices have little, if any, caloric content. However, they can pack a lot of flavor! Unless your surgical team tells you otherwise, feel free to use them liberally!
Good luck. You are not alone.

First, don't beat yourself up. Instead, be your own best friend. What would you want your best friend to tell you about buying all those? Whatever that is, tell yourself that. Say it out loud to yourself if need be.
Next, I urge you to reconsider your relationship with food. You know this item is your food trigger. Instead of thinking of the pleasure it brings you, focus on the pain it brings you. Think about how it makes you feel.
One you reach the point that you understand that food item is hurting you more than helping you, "break up" your relationship with that food. It's a toxic relationship so let it go.
Good luck. You are not alone.

First, don't beat yourself up. Instead, be your own best friend. What would you want your best friend to tell you about buying all those? Whatever that is, tell yourself that. Say it out loud to yourself if need be.
Next, I urge you to reconsider your relationship with food. You know this item is your food trigger. Instead of thinking of the pleasure it brings you, focus on the pain it brings you. Think about how it makes you feel.
One you reach the point that you understand that food item is hurting you more than helping you, "break up" your relationship with that food. It's a toxic relationship so let it go.
Good luck. You are not alone.

First, don't beat yourself up. Instead, be your own best friend. What would you want your best friend to tell you about buying all those? Whatever that is, tell yourself that. Say it out loud to yourself if need be.
Next, I urge you to reconsider your relationship with food. You know this item is your food trigger. Instead of thinking of the pleasure it brings you, focus on the pain it brings you. Think about how it makes you feel.
One you reach the point that you understand that food item is hurting you more than helping you, "break up" your relationship with that food. It's a toxic relationship so let it go.
Good luck. You are not alone.

I'm sorry you're hurting. You're worried about going back to being miserable? You sound miserable right now! You're tied up in knots. You're worried about everything, stress over "hidden calories", & exhibit obsessive behaviors. You have no leverage over yourself. I'm a huge Tony Robbins fan & hope this video helps you as much as it helped me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-2AqHBQUzo

You said you weren’t happy that your wife went forward with this from the beginning. Is it possible that you are unconsciously looking for physical changes in your wife to support that feeling? Maybe even a “I-told-you-so” feeling because you’re not happy with her appearance now or maybe because she proceeded with her surgery despite your feelings?
I’ve come to accept what she has done… I don’t think you’ve accepted it at all. Why were you opposed to her decision to have this done in the first place? Is there something deep inside of you that resents her for having this surgery even though you were opposed to it? (I don’t know you, but some men have a problem with women making their own decisions, including decisions about their own bodies.)
She used to be… she is now… she is starting to look… She also looks like…. These sound like mourning words. You’re in mourning for the body your wife used to have.
I’m starting to worry… Starting? No, you're in full-blown worry mode, except it’s not really worry. I still think it’s mourning for what was.
I’m afraid I’ve lost my wife… Afraid? No, in your mind you’ve lost her. But have you lost her? Really? Your wife is happy. And the doctor’s office doesn’t seem worried.
His office pretty much ignores my concerns… Are you sure that they’re just disagreeing with you and not ignoring you?
This surgery killed my aunt…. WLS is not a murderer with a sawed-off shotgun. Your aunt had a rare and unfortunate complication. I hope you didn’t bring up your aunt's complication as one of the reasons for not wanting your wife to have her surgery. Or did you?
If I come across as terse, it’s only because men tend to understand things better when those things are presented bluntly or in black and white.
Lastly, it’s only been 10 months. Your wife's body is still trying to find a happy balance.
Has your sex life changed? Is that something you’re also unhappy about? (My husband has always enjoyed my big, soft body.)
Please do not interpret anything I’ve said above as lecturing or patronizing because that is not my intent. This is just my take on things from a woman's point of view. Not every woman's point of view. Just mine. We're not all the same, you know.
You sound like a loving and caring husband. No one here wants you to be unhappy, including me. Your wife, I’m sure, doesn’t want you to be unhappy. But guess what? It’s okay to be unhappy sometimes, except you need to figure out if your unhappiness and fears about your wife’s new body are rational or irrational. If they are irrational fears, and you still can’t come to terms with it all, maybe a therapist might help. Maybe joint therapy. And there is, of course, absolutely no shame in that. None.

I'm going to respectfully challenge this entire premise. food hasn't worked FOR you (or me, or pretty much anyone). If it did work for you, you wouldn't pursue weight loss surgery. Instead, realize that food has been working AGAINST you. It's a huge source of stress for you.
The good news is you're soon going to set that huge source of stress aside. You're going to develop other, much more healthy, coping mechanisms. We don't know what that will be for you, but we'll be cheering you on as you discover it.
Good luck. You are not alone.

I'm going to respectfully challenge this entire premise. food hasn't worked FOR you (or me, or pretty much anyone). If it did work for you, you wouldn't pursue weight loss surgery. Instead, realize that food has been working AGAINST you. It's a huge source of stress for you.
The good news is you're soon going to set that huge source of stress aside. You're going to develop other, much more healthy, coping mechanisms. We don't know what that will be for you, but we'll be cheering you on as you discover it.
Good luck. You are not alone.

I'm going to respectfully challenge this entire premise. food hasn't worked FOR you (or me, or pretty much anyone). If it did work for you, you wouldn't pursue weight loss surgery. Instead, realize that food has been working AGAINST you. It's a huge source of stress for you.
The good news is you're soon going to set that huge source of stress aside. You're going to develop other, much more healthy, coping mechanisms. We don't know what that will be for you, but we'll be cheering you on as you discover it.
Good luck. You are not alone.

First, don't beat yourself up. Instead, be your own best friend. What would you want your best friend to tell you about buying all those? Whatever that is, tell yourself that. Say it out loud to yourself if need be.
Next, I urge you to reconsider your relationship with food. You know this item is your food trigger. Instead of thinking of the pleasure it brings you, focus on the pain it brings you. Think about how it makes you feel.
One you reach the point that you understand that food item is hurting you more than helping you, "break up" your relationship with that food. It's a toxic relationship so let it go.
Good luck. You are not alone.

First, don't beat yourself up. Instead, be your own best friend. What would you want your best friend to tell you about buying all those? Whatever that is, tell yourself that. Say it out loud to yourself if need be.
Next, I urge you to reconsider your relationship with food. You know this item is your food trigger. Instead of thinking of the pleasure it brings you, focus on the pain it brings you. Think about how it makes you feel.
One you reach the point that you understand that food item is hurting you more than helping you, "break up" your relationship with that food. It's a toxic relationship so let it go.
Good luck. You are not alone.

I'm going to respectfully challenge this entire premise. food hasn't worked FOR you (or me, or pretty much anyone). If it did work for you, you wouldn't pursue weight loss surgery. Instead, realize that food has been working AGAINST you. It's a huge source of stress for you.
The good news is you're soon going to set that huge source of stress aside. You're going to develop other, much more healthy, coping mechanisms. We don't know what that will be for you, but we'll be cheering you on as you discover it.
Good luck. You are not alone.

I'm going to respectfully challenge this entire premise. food hasn't worked FOR you (or me, or pretty much anyone). If it did work for you, you wouldn't pursue weight loss surgery. Instead, realize that food has been working AGAINST you. It's a huge source of stress for you.
The good news is you're soon going to set that huge source of stress aside. You're going to develop other, much more healthy, coping mechanisms. We don't know what that will be for you, but we'll be cheering you on as you discover it.
Good luck. You are not alone.

I'm going to respectfully challenge this entire premise. food hasn't worked FOR you (or me, or pretty much anyone). If it did work for you, you wouldn't pursue weight loss surgery. Instead, realize that food has been working AGAINST you. It's a huge source of stress for you.
The good news is you're soon going to set that huge source of stress aside. You're going to develop other, much more healthy, coping mechanisms. We don't know what that will be for you, but we'll be cheering you on as you discover it.
Good luck. You are not alone.

I'm going to respectfully challenge this entire premise. food hasn't worked FOR you (or me, or pretty much anyone). If it did work for you, you wouldn't pursue weight loss surgery. Instead, realize that food has been working AGAINST you. It's a huge source of stress for you.
The good news is you're soon going to set that huge source of stress aside. You're going to develop other, much more healthy, coping mechanisms. We don't know what that will be for you, but we'll be cheering you on as you discover it.
Good luck. You are not alone.

I'm going to respectfully challenge this entire premise. food hasn't worked FOR you (or me, or pretty much anyone). If it did work for you, you wouldn't pursue weight loss surgery. Instead, realize that food has been working AGAINST you. It's a huge source of stress for you.
The good news is you're soon going to set that huge source of stress aside. You're going to develop other, much more healthy, coping mechanisms. We don't know what that will be for you, but we'll be cheering you on as you discover it.
Good luck. You are not alone.

I'm going to respectfully challenge this entire premise. food hasn't worked FOR you (or me, or pretty much anyone). If it did work for you, you wouldn't pursue weight loss surgery. Instead, realize that food has been working AGAINST you. It's a huge source of stress for you.
The good news is you're soon going to set that huge source of stress aside. You're going to develop other, much more healthy, coping mechanisms. We don't know what that will be for you, but we'll be cheering you on as you discover it.
Good luck. You are not alone.