Lucky2Lose

Ok; I get it. Friends who have always been on the weight loss roller coaster with you, tried every fad diet, every new exercise routine, and had moderate success with you at times... they don't really like you taking this new step, do they? Sigh...I guess that means someone you've always counted on to be a cheerleader will instead be judgmental and say stupid things about this being the "easy" way even though there isn't anything easy about it!!
I guess you can't make everyone happy...
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Just wait until you are crushing it in a few months, your friend will come around and I bet that you may inspire her to look into the same surgical options. We are addicts, the surgery will handle the cravings... For now, but it's up to u how long that tool will last. Since my surgery, I have been very open when asked what I am doing to lose weight, I have saved 4 people so far by pointing them in the right direction when asked. This is rehab for us eaters, I know those outside won't understand that, and that's ok... Because they will change their tune as soon as they see the change in you... I promise!
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I figure anyone who matters to me can know. Otherwise I will keep it quiet. As I'm divorced, so far that's been my mom, my 15 year old daughter, and my best friend (a beautiful 48 year old size 6 or so) and all have been very supportive. My mom was the most reserved just because of the fear of any dangers with a major surgery, but she quickly came around knowing this was a very important step for me.
I feel you about that friend. If she wants to keep you as her "fat buddy", then be prepared for some disappointment. That does suck, no bones about it, because I don't like to let friends go easily...but this is about you and your health and happiness. Good luck friend.
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I've told only three of my friends and they are the only ones who are supportive of me; my family not so much.

Play Doh latkes won't cut it with your friend?
It sounds as though your friendship with this woman certainly will be tested. You can go out to dinner with her, but you'll be ordering what makes sense for you. Prepare yourself by checking the restaurant menus on line beforehand.
When she notices your weight loss and change in meal choices, she'll grill you. If she ridicules or gets unpleasant, you can remind her of the comment on nothing wrong with being chunky. Agree by saying you'd never judge anyone's choice and also make it clear that you want something different for yourself, including health and ease of movement. She'll really get grumpy if you mention appearance.
Or something like the above in your own words.
Be prepared, though. She may be history after a while. It happens.

And thats ok with me because i dont eat it all the time anyway. But i wanted to make sure i could have it eventually as a treat
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I did not plan on telling any of my friends and then on Friday I decided to tell a close friend. She used to be very supportive of my healthy eating and exercise routines and lifestyle, I lost a lot of weight and then I gained some back. She told me I didn't need it, that I can do it by myself and that it's a lot of money (I'm self pay). Well, I explained how I have tried and failed, and that I can't lose 100 lbs on my own at 41. That if I calculate how much $$$ I have spent on equipment (at hime gym I had with a spinning bike, weight bench bowflex weights etc..), Shakeology, Nutrisystem etc. I've more that likely spent 3 times as much. I can't do it on my own, thats a very sad but realistic realization. Then she says, I should do it too (she is 5'7 158 lbs) "I need that to stop eating". That last part made me regret telling her. People don't realize this will be hard on me, my husband, my kids and although in the end it will be worth it...the journey is far from easy..so, I'm not going to lay myself out to be judged or ridiculed by people who either don't understand the struggle or want you to continue to be as miserable as they are.
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pizza is a big one for me..I've modified my taste and make a low carb pizza since I'm doing low carb right now before surgery. I hope to have it on occasion after surgery as well, but they do drill it into you about lean Protein first then veggies..none of which is pizza..so I think a treat on rare occasion should be fine.
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Trust your gut instinct!

I've been on a health kick for a couple of years..gym and walking/jogging too..but very little weight loss..because I love cooking and I love food..this friend who I've known for 23 years always tried to sabotage any success Ive had and has absolutely been my go out and pig out buddy which is why I know she wouldn't be supportive and would be afraid to lose me in that aspect. Luckily my family is supportive and I also have a coworker that just had the surgery so I think we'll be great support system for each other but I think this friendship will suffer because I just won't want to go out with her anymore to eat.
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That's a tough one. But I respect your decision. I have told my very close family whom I share birthdays holidays and all special life events with but not the family on my dad's side. Im just not as close with them. I only have a select few friends. 3 of them know-- there is one who was my ride or die and she has recently come back into my life but I probably will not tell her we are just not close anymore but we are in contact. The next time she sees me I will probably be smaller than her and she wont be able to understand how!!! Anyways, its a personal choice and I understand your reasons for not telling this friend. She seems like a bit of a hater and a little too opinionated. You will need to hit her with the whole I need to lose weight bit. Start your workouts, eating healthy, smaller portions when you are around her and eventually get to the point where if you guys go out--offer to share a meal, tell her you are cutting out your drinking as your friend she will need time to adjust to the changes or it could cause a bit of a strain.

Generally when you tell family or friends they spread the news of surgery for you. I see it over and over here. Even the HR person who told..... There is so little down time with the sleeve, that my husband and I have kept it to ourselves, and no one questions us. We socialize a lot, no one pays attention to our dieting. It makes our life so uncomplicated and boring. Thanks to my husband who insisted I not tell, because I didn't think I could hide it. We did. No lies, just no details and eating healthy.

I didn't tell anyone. There was a very brief period immediately post op where going out socially would have been a struggle for me. Just a few weeks, if that. Now at 3 months post op I go out all the time, I order healthy Proteins and veggies and eat small portions and everyone just thinks I'm losing weight because I eat like that. Which- I am.
However. If this is someone else who is overweight- who is looking at you as someone they can rely on "pigging out" with then they will be in for a disappointment. If you really don't want to share, which is totally fine and your call, just be clear with her that you are following a strict diet and taking your weight loss seriously.

there isn't any right or wrong with this issue. it's up to your comfort level in sharing.
I tend to be a fairly open person who doesn't really give a rats a$$ what others think. so I have been pretty open about my surgery, which in the long run (after I heard everyone's comments and opinions) means that I have a lot of support. some of it misguided, but all well wishes and support, which is lovely. my attitude was if you have an opinion let's hear it and then I will move ahead and do what I need to do. but not everyone can handle the scrutiny that can bring.

I've only told people that I know would be supportive outside of my family. My family has been ridiculously unsupportive.
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I told one of my best friend who me and her were discussing me having it and encourage me and i also told my sister first . I know her . She would be supportive .... non of my other friends know nor I am gonna tell them . And when I told my family they weren't supportive at all . And the kept saying what I shame you can loose weight by your own . You have to do a surgery !!!!!!!!!
My advice to you is only tell people who you would know that they would be supportive
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I was really scared at 67. It was 10 times easier than expected. Three years out and would do it again in a heartbeat!

Not sure on your area but we have numerous vape stores here..they carry all kind of flavors in 0 mg..
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I am in the process of trying to get approved for VSG..I fight back and forth with wondering if it's right for me as well. I mostly think it's the part of me that's afraid to change that fights the thought of surgery. I'm pushing forward past those thoughts and trusting the other thoughts that say do it for you..I want to be healthy and be the best me I can be..surgery is the tool to help me accomplish it.
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Not sure on your area but we have numerous vape stores here..they carry all kind of flavors in 0 mg..
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My surgeon said no nicotine at all..including gum or patch..I gradually decreased my nicotine while vaping and smoke 0 mg now. My surgeon is fine with vaping with no nicotine and it mentally works for me.
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I like Atkins strawberry and Premier chocolate already made the best
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