siera63

Please please don't make "honest comments" about your child's weight. It is mentally, and emotionally devastating. And brings dark thoughts to mind about their unconditional love parents are suppose to have for their children.
My story:
About 18 months after finishing chemo treatment for breast cancer. I was determined to lose the 92 lbs I gained in 2 years of chemo. I had lose 38 lbs and was super happy about it. {Enter parents for a visit} I joyfully tell them the news 38 lbs gone! The response? "Sweetie, your mother and I will love you when you are thin". My mind raced crazy. Umm. 'When I'm thin'? WTF? The gatekeeper in my head must have taken leave cause I became crazed. I went off about unconditional love of children. I even made my dad repeat the following : "sweetie, we are so proud and happy that all your hard work is paying off. You look great. We love you." With tears streaming I stood there glaring at them. I was emotionally and mentally destroyed after all I'd been thru in the previous 2 1/2 years with little or no support thru therapy, not even helping with my then 7 yr old. Not even bringing a meal on the crappyist chemo days. Only daily arguing with me about my cancer treatment decisions and how badly I am raising my son. Frustrating, fatiguing, demoralizing .
I ran out of the room. I sat on the porch in my rocker for hours trying to forgive them, praying my catholic ass off for that and my own peace. My husband called them later and told them that there is now a list of things that will not be discussed: "politics, sex, drugs, medical decisions, discipline of our kid and the weight of anyone in this house. List subject to change." He hung up and I laughed harder then ever before.
The bottom line- Tough love sux. If you have nothing nice to say, shut up. What you mean and what you say are sometimes 2 different things. And finally, engage brain before engaging mouth.
Peace & Love everyone.
Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

Please please don't make "honest comments" about your child's weight. It is mentally, and emotionally devastating. And brings dark thoughts to mind about their unconditional love parents are suppose to have for their children.
My story:
About 18 months after finishing chemo treatment for breast cancer. I was determined to lose the 92 lbs I gained in 2 years of chemo. I had lose 38 lbs and was super happy about it. {Enter parents for a visit} I joyfully tell them the news 38 lbs gone! The response? "Sweetie, your mother and I will love you when you are thin". My mind raced crazy. Umm. 'When I'm thin'? WTF? The gatekeeper in my head must have taken leave cause I became crazed. I went off about unconditional love of children. I even made my dad repeat the following : "sweetie, we are so proud and happy that all your hard work is paying off. You look great. We love you." With tears streaming I stood there glaring at them. I was emotionally and mentally destroyed after all I'd been thru in the previous 2 1/2 years with little or no support thru therapy, not even helping with my then 7 yr old. Not even bringing a meal on the crappyist chemo days. Only daily arguing with me about my cancer treatment decisions and how badly I am raising my son. Frustrating, fatiguing, demoralizing .
I ran out of the room. I sat on the porch in my rocker for hours trying to forgive them, praying my catholic ass off for that and my own peace. My husband called them later and told them that there is now a list of things that will not be discussed: "politics, sex, drugs, medical decisions, discipline of our kid and the weight of anyone in this house. List subject to change." He hung up and I laughed harder then ever before.
The bottom line- Tough love sux. If you have nothing nice to say, shut up. What you mean and what you say are sometimes 2 different things. And finally, engage brain before engaging mouth.
Peace & Love everyone.
Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

Please please don't make "honest comments" about your child's weight. It is mentally, and emotionally devastating. And brings dark thoughts to mind about their unconditional love parents are suppose to have for their children.
My story:
About 18 months after finishing chemo treatment for breast cancer. I was determined to lose the 92 lbs I gained in 2 years of chemo. I had lose 38 lbs and was super happy about it. {Enter parents for a visit} I joyfully tell them the news 38 lbs gone! The response? "Sweetie, your mother and I will love you when you are thin". My mind raced crazy. Umm. 'When I'm thin'? WTF? The gatekeeper in my head must have taken leave cause I became crazed. I went off about unconditional love of children. I even made my dad repeat the following : "sweetie, we are so proud and happy that all your hard work is paying off. You look great. We love you." With tears streaming I stood there glaring at them. I was emotionally and mentally destroyed after all I'd been thru in the previous 2 1/2 years with little or no support thru therapy, not even helping with my then 7 yr old. Not even bringing a meal on the crappyist chemo days. Only daily arguing with me about my cancer treatment decisions and how badly I am raising my son. Frustrating, fatiguing, demoralizing .
I ran out of the room. I sat on the porch in my rocker for hours trying to forgive them, praying my catholic ass off for that and my own peace. My husband called them later and told them that there is now a list of things that will not be discussed: "politics, sex, drugs, medical decisions, discipline of our kid and the weight of anyone in this house. List subject to change." He hung up and I laughed harder then ever before.
The bottom line- Tough love sux. If you have nothing nice to say, shut up. What you mean and what you say are sometimes 2 different things. And finally, engage brain before engaging mouth.
Peace & Love everyone.
Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

Just got home after a long day its after midnite and I got seriously excited to get the sleeve approval letter from my ins company! YEA!!
While doing a small victory dance in the kitchen, waving the letter like a fan, I listen to my vox mails....
and hear Debbie Downer from my Dr's office say that my surgery scheduled for Sep 28, has to be rescheduled for Oct 14 because the Dr will be on vacation till then.
"Damn you Debbie Downer!" Why would I want a well rested and relaxed surgeon perform surgery on me? Two more weeks it feels so far away already. Two more weeks to ride the up and down crazy ment as l roller-coaster of anxiety over this. Damn damn and double damn again.
Standing in the middle of the room trying to re frame this problem in my head, a lil voice from behind me whispers,
"Mom, there's no one else here. Who is Debbie, why are you mad at her, and why are you crazy jumping around the kitchen? Do you need help? Mom, have you been drinking or something? Should I wake Dad up? (Damn caught in the act)
"No sweetie, I'm fine. Just some letters I was reading. Go back to bed."
Overheard as he shuffled down the hall,
"I always tell my teachers that reading makes you crazy. I gotta tell them not to send any notes home with me."
Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

Just got home after a long day its after midnite and I got seriously excited to get the sleeve approval letter from my ins company! YEA!!
While doing a small victory dance in the kitchen, waving the letter like a fan, I listen to my vox mails....
and hear Debbie Downer from my Dr's office say that my surgery scheduled for Sep 28, has to be rescheduled for Oct 14 because the Dr will be on vacation till then.
"Damn you Debbie Downer!" Why would I want a well rested and relaxed surgeon perform surgery on me? Two more weeks it feels so far away already. Two more weeks to ride the up and down crazy ment as l roller-coaster of anxiety over this. Damn damn and double damn again.
Standing in the middle of the room trying to re frame this problem in my head, a lil voice from behind me whispers,
"Mom, there's no one else here. Who is Debbie, why are you mad at her, and why are you crazy jumping around the kitchen? Do you need help? Mom, have you been drinking or something? Should I wake Dad up? (Damn caught in the act)
"No sweetie, I'm fine. Just some letters I was reading. Go back to bed."
Overheard as he shuffled down the hall,
"I always tell my teachers that reading makes you crazy. I gotta tell them not to send any notes home with me."
Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

Just got home after a long day its after midnite and I got seriously excited to get the sleeve approval letter from my ins company! YEA!!
While doing a small victory dance in the kitchen, waving the letter like a fan, I listen to my vox mails....
and hear Debbie Downer from my Dr's office say that my surgery scheduled for Sep 28, has to be rescheduled for Oct 14 because the Dr will be on vacation till then.
"Damn you Debbie Downer!" Why would I want a well rested and relaxed surgeon perform surgery on me? Two more weeks it feels so far away already. Two more weeks to ride the up and down crazy ment as l roller-coaster of anxiety over this. Damn damn and double damn again.
Standing in the middle of the room trying to re frame this problem in my head, a lil voice from behind me whispers,
"Mom, there's no one else here. Who is Debbie, why are you mad at her, and why are you crazy jumping around the kitchen? Do you need help? Mom, have you been drinking or something? Should I wake Dad up? (Damn caught in the act)
"No sweetie, I'm fine. Just some letters I was reading. Go back to bed."
Overheard as he shuffled down the hall,
"I always tell my teachers that reading makes you crazy. I gotta tell them not to send any notes home with me."
Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

This is a perfect example that his decisions and poor behavior had nothing to do with you. You need to understand that to be able to move on yourself.
Sent from my SM-N915V using the BariatricPal App

@@LipstickLady,
Agreed.

Just got home after a long day its after midnite and I got seriously excited to get the sleeve approval letter from my ins company! YEA!!
While doing a small victory dance in the kitchen, waving the letter like a fan, I listen to my vox mails....
and hear Debbie Downer from my Dr's office say that my surgery scheduled for Sep 28, has to be rescheduled for Oct 14 because the Dr will be on vacation till then.
"Damn you Debbie Downer!" Why would I want a well rested and relaxed surgeon perform surgery on me? Two more weeks it feels so far away already. Two more weeks to ride the up and down crazy ment as l roller-coaster of anxiety over this. Damn damn and double damn again.
Standing in the middle of the room trying to re frame this problem in my head, a lil voice from behind me whispers,
"Mom, there's no one else here. Who is Debbie, why are you mad at her, and why are you crazy jumping around the kitchen? Do you need help? Mom, have you been drinking or something? Should I wake Dad up? (Damn caught in the act)
"No sweetie, I'm fine. Just some letters I was reading. Go back to bed."
Overheard as he shuffled down the hall,
"I always tell my teachers that reading makes you crazy. I gotta tell them not to send any notes home with me."
Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

Just got home after a long day its after midnite and I got seriously excited to get the sleeve approval letter from my ins company! YEA!!
While doing a small victory dance in the kitchen, waving the letter like a fan, I listen to my vox mails....
and hear Debbie Downer from my Dr's office say that my surgery scheduled for Sep 28, has to be rescheduled for Oct 14 because the Dr will be on vacation till then.
"Damn you Debbie Downer!" Why would I want a well rested and relaxed surgeon perform surgery on me? Two more weeks it feels so far away already. Two more weeks to ride the up and down crazy ment as l roller-coaster of anxiety over this. Damn damn and double damn again.
Standing in the middle of the room trying to re frame this problem in my head, a lil voice from behind me whispers,
"Mom, there's no one else here. Who is Debbie, why are you mad at her, and why are you crazy jumping around the kitchen? Do you need help? Mom, have you been drinking or something? Should I wake Dad up? (Damn caught in the act)
"No sweetie, I'm fine. Just some letters I was reading. Go back to bed."
Overheard as he shuffled down the hall,
"I always tell my teachers that reading makes you crazy. I gotta tell them not to send any notes home with me."
Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

Just got home after a long day its after midnite and I got seriously excited to get the sleeve approval letter from my ins company! YEA!!
While doing a small victory dance in the kitchen, waving the letter like a fan, I listen to my vox mails....
and hear Debbie Downer from my Dr's office say that my surgery scheduled for Sep 28, has to be rescheduled for Oct 14 because the Dr will be on vacation till then.
"Damn you Debbie Downer!" Why would I want a well rested and relaxed surgeon perform surgery on me? Two more weeks it feels so far away already. Two more weeks to ride the up and down crazy ment as l roller-coaster of anxiety over this. Damn damn and double damn again.
Standing in the middle of the room trying to re frame this problem in my head, a lil voice from behind me whispers,
"Mom, there's no one else here. Who is Debbie, why are you mad at her, and why are you crazy jumping around the kitchen? Do you need help? Mom, have you been drinking or something? Should I wake Dad up? (Damn caught in the act)
"No sweetie, I'm fine. Just some letters I was reading. Go back to bed."
Overheard as he shuffled down the hall,
"I always tell my teachers that reading makes you crazy. I gotta tell them not to send any notes home with me."
Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

Everytime I get panicky about WLS I read these messages and I calm down and know (again) this is the right thing to do for me. Thanx all.
Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

@ladydarkness I think maybe you should think about reframing the hair loss thing in your mind.
I feel your pain with Hair loss truly I do. As a breast cancer survivor I was bald for 2 years during cancer treatment. It was hell on my ego for a long time till my 8 year old told me i had a "really pretty round head". He made me LOL. That made the treatments worth it even more. So I'm thinking that if hair loss (again) is a price to be paid to be healthier and thinner for myself and my son and the future, damn the price, I'll pay it. love & peace!
Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

@ladydarkness I think maybe you should think about reframing the hair loss thing in your mind.
I feel your pain with Hair loss truly I do. As a breast cancer survivor I was bald for 2 years during cancer treatment. It was hell on my ego for a long time till my 8 year old told me i had a "really pretty round head". He made me LOL. That made the treatments worth it even more. So I'm thinking that if hair loss (again) is a price to be paid to be healthier and thinner for myself and my son and the future, damn the price, I'll pay it. love & peace!
Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

@ladydarkness I think maybe you should think about reframing the hair loss thing in your mind.
I feel your pain with Hair loss truly I do. As a breast cancer survivor I was bald for 2 years during cancer treatment. It was hell on my ego for a long time till my 8 year old told me i had a "really pretty round head". He made me LOL. That made the treatments worth it even more. So I'm thinking that if hair loss (again) is a price to be paid to be healthier and thinner for myself and my son and the future, damn the price, I'll pay it. love & peace!
Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App