Shi-Shi80

Hello,
Is anyone here from the Tidewater area or Richmond? I live in Hampton and looking for others near here.
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Happy surgery day to all having surgery today!

Happy surgery day to all having surgery today!

Yes mine is painful too. I'm sleeping all the time, until the Drs and nurses come in and wake me up Lol I'm going home today. Thank God for no complications. They all say I'm doing really well. Dawnie_doo

Isn't she lovely?!? Lol Drs told me I'm doing well so far. I'll be going home tomorrow. Got nauseous once, but no vomiting. Pain meds are great!!! I walked once already ???? I get the catheter out this morning. Then they start me walking again.
Please, excuse my post. I know it's all over the place. Blame it on Dilaudid lol
Dawnie_doo

Sending up prayers for everyone having surgery today and those recovering. ☝????????

Disheartening yet empowering. You're hurting now as expected but you are going to push through this phase of the pain quicker than you know. I'm so glad you left before your daughter saw you being mistreated and started to believe that's how a relationship with a man was supposed to be. Most people stay in unhealthy relationships and things only get worse. You made the right decision and he's going to regret his actions as well as those who fail to correct him when they knew what he was doing. As stated by others, fall in love with yourself again and the right man will come to you. Infidelity and rejection have a way of destroying parts of you that are hard to rebuild sometimes so give yourself time to heal. I've been there and it's a struggle some days but you're going to be just fine with a little more time. Congrats on regaining control of your life. Take care!

Disheartening yet empowering. You're hurting now as expected but you are going to push through this phase of the pain quicker than you know. I'm so glad you left before your daughter saw you being mistreated and started to believe that's how a relationship with a man was supposed to be. Most people stay in unhealthy relationships and things only get worse. You made the right decision and he's going to regret his actions as well as those who fail to correct him when they knew what he was doing. As stated by others, fall in love with yourself again and the right man will come to you. Infidelity and rejection have a way of destroying parts of you that are hard to rebuild sometimes so give yourself time to heal. I've been there and it's a struggle some days but you're going to be just fine with a little more time. Congrats on regaining control of your life. Take care!

Disheartening yet empowering. You're hurting now as expected but you are going to push through this phase of the pain quicker than you know. I'm so glad you left before your daughter saw you being mistreated and started to believe that's how a relationship with a man was supposed to be. Most people stay in unhealthy relationships and things only get worse. You made the right decision and he's going to regret his actions as well as those who fail to correct him when they knew what he was doing. As stated by others, fall in love with yourself again and the right man will come to you. Infidelity and rejection have a way of destroying parts of you that are hard to rebuild sometimes so give yourself time to heal. I've been there and it's a struggle some days but you're going to be just fine with a little more time. Congrats on regaining control of your life. Take care!

If weight loss surgery is in your future, you’ve surely heard of the “liquid diet.” You may have heard of a clear liquid diet and a full liquid diet. You may know they come sometime before and after surgery. And beyond that, it may be a little hazy.
Doing your liquid diet right can help you succeed with weight loss surgery. It can help you heal faster and lose more weight. So here’s the scoop on the liquid diets: what they are, when you follow them, and why they’re so confusing!


Clear Liquid
On a clear liquid diet, you only drink only Clear Liquids, that is, liquids you can mostly see through. Examples include Water and flavored water (such as Crystal Light), sports and electrolyte drinks, diluted apple, grape, and cranberry juice, Decaf tea, sugar-free juice drinks such as Kool Aid, broth and bouillon, and sugar-free popsicles.
A clear liquid diet does NOT include Protein Shakes. It also excludes orange juice with pulp and carbonated drinks.
Your surgery may ask you to go on a liquid diet a day or two before surgery. After surgery, you’ll be on a clear liquid diet for 1 to 2 days. Your surgeon may have you stay on it longer. When you get the clearance, you can begin your full liquid diet.
Full Liquid
The full liquid diet is more nutritious than the clear liquid diet. It can keep you nourished for weeks or months at a time. You may be on a full liquid pre-op diet for a few days or even weeks before surgery.
A full liquid diet includes all the liquids on a clear liquid diet, plus milk. Your surgeon may allow watery cream of wheat and thin yogurt.
A full liquid diet DOES include Protein shakes. That’s key because it’s where you get most of your nutrients from.
After surgery, you’ll stay on a full liquid diet until about 1 to 2 or more weeks post-op, depending on what your surgeon and nutritionist recommend. Then you’ll move to a pureed foods diet.
The sooner you move from clear to full liquids, the sooner you can give your body important nutrients like protein. Still, don’t rush it! Giving your pouch, sleeve, or stomach more than it can handle is a sure way to develop complications, whether you’re shortly post-op or you just got a band fill.
If you have the lap-band, you may be on a full liquid diet after a fill or adjustment. This may last a day or so.
What’s the Point?
Why go on a liquid diet? It’s a way of keeping you hydrated – and nourished, on the full liquid diet – without eating solid foods.

Pre-op: It shrinks your liver, so the surgeon can see better and your surgery is safer. It also makes surgery safer because it helps you lose weight. Finally, it
Post-op: It lets you stay hydrated without harming your surgery scars or getting in the way of healing. Your body uses some of the protein on a full liquid diet to help heal your wounds.
After a fill: It lets you stay hydrated and get some nutrients even while you may be a little sore from the fill.

What About Nutrients?
Ask your surgeon or nutritionist what your daily goals are on the diet. You’ll probably be asked to have a minimum of 64 ounces of fluids, PLUS (if you’re on the full liquid diet) at least 65 grams of protein per day.
You might be able to meet your nutrient needs if your protein shakes are fortified, but you might also be asked to take Vitamin supplements. Liquid vitamins can help you get your Vitamins without swallowing pills. Nearly all bariatric patients should take a multivitamin both before and after surgery.
You might also need liquid iron, sublingual or liquid vitamin B12, and liquid calcium with vitamin D. If you’re among those weight loss surgery patients who are worried about losing hair after surgery, you might also want to consider a liquid biotin supplement.
Ask Your Surgeon or Nutritionist!
If you’ve done your research on liquid diets, you’ve probably noticed something: they’re all different! Ask five different experts or visit five different sites, and you’ll probably get five different sets of guidelines on liquid diets. They can vary in when you follow them and what you’re allowed to have. Why so different?
For one thing, there’s a certain amount of risk and reward to weigh. Everyone agrees, for example, that you shouldn’t have celery and sunflower seeds the day after weight loss surgery. The risk of getting it caught in your band or ripping your surgery stitches apart are too great.
But what about something less obvious, like decaf coffee? Some surgeons forbid it, claiming the acidity is too much of a risk. It can increase risk of heartburn irritate the stomach, which can slow healing. Other surgeons allow it. They may reason that the benefits of allowing it (hydration!) outweigh the risks of it doing any harm. There’s no single right answer; it’s a question of your health professional’s judgment.
Another reason for different guidelines from different surgeons is that we don’t always know what’s best for YOU as an individual. Some patients respond differently, and there is no way to predict. So, some surgeons are conservative and forbid many foods, while others are more likely to allow you to experiment with a wider range of liquids.
So, that’s all there is to it. The clear liquid diet is a short-term plan that can last a couple of days, while a full liquid diet can keep you going for weeks or more. Do your best to follow your surgeon or nutritionist’s guidelines, and you’ll be doing yourself a big favor!

Looking at my journey over the past decade-plus, I can see the fallout from my terrible mentality of weight loss at any cost. But, really, at what cost? At the cost of my sanity? At the cost of my self-esteem? At the cost of my health?

People say you have nothing if you don’t have your health, and as I get older, that truth can no longer be ignored.


When I had my roux-n-y gastric bypass surgery in 2005, my goal was to lose weight. Specifically, I wanted to lose 225 pounds.

At just over five feet tall and 343 pounds, I was super morbidly obese. Those are the facts, but what is also true is that my weight has been the bane of my existence for my entire life. Or, at least, since I was about three years old, when I first realized that my weight fell on the less socially “acceptable” end of the spectrum.

So, yes, weight loss was the goal I set for myself, but what I see now is that all I really wanted was to slip into the spectrum of acceptability enjoyed by women who wear single digit jeans. It was about fitting in. It was about not standing out. It was about being “normal.”

At no point was it ever really about being healthy.

In the two years after my surgery, I dedicated my days to working out and eating as little as possible. Ultimately, I lost 201 pounds. It wasn’t the hoped for 225, but I was a size eight - victory, right?

Not exactly. Even at a size eight, I struggled with body acceptance. I still felt like a fish out of Water and worse, I couldn’t seem to sync up with the woman in the mirror. I had a new body, but I didn’t feel like “me” anymore.

And worse still, I didn’t feel healthy. Sure, I’d lost 200 pounds. By all the usual measures (and certainly by societal expectations), I was “cured,” but I felt sick. My energy was low, my sleep was all over the place, and I was incredibly frustrated by a diet that seemed barely sustainable for any length of time.

That diet piece was my fault, of course. So determined to lose the weight, I worked hard to hit my daily Protein goal, even if that meant I consumed hard boiled eggs three times a day and literally nothing else. For much of the past 11 years since my surgery, I’ve been riding a roller coaster. I’ve lost and gained weight over and over, the pendulum swinging back and forth and my emotions following. I have suffered serious Vitamin deficiencies and still struggle to disconnect guilt from the simple act of eating. In this state of mind, it’s been easy for me to sacrifice overall well being for short-term gain, or in my case, loss.

Despite the fact that I didn’t really feel that great, it still took a while to realize why. When weight loss was the goal, I needed only to focus on the aspects of my new life that supported it: protein, calorie counting, and obsessive exercise.

Health has been the missing piece all along.

Focusing on my health has required a total turnabout. It means that I’ve had to reevaluate my goals. I’d lived so much of my life with oversimplified ideals: thin equals good, fat equals bad. The reality is more complex, as it so often is.

Looking at my journey over the past decade-plus, I can see the fallout from my terrible mentality of weight loss at any cost. But, at what cost really? At the cost of my sanity? At the cost of my self-esteem? At the cost of my health?

People say you have nothing if you don’t have your health, and as I get older, that truth can no longer be ignored.

Today, I am 89 pounds heavier than my lowest post-op weight. Typing those words makes the old me cringe… I feel waves of embarrassment, shame, anger, frustration, and the ever useless guilt.

The new part of me, the one I am working to healthfully feed mind, body, and soul, feels hope. I feel hope because I remember the young woman that weighed 138 pounds, and I know that I was less healthy standing on that scale back then than I am today in my double digit jeans. This new woman I see in the mirror still wants to lose weight, but as a byproduct of a healthy life.

Health has become my personal mission. I wasted a lot of time hating myself to obesity and then hating myself thin. My plan now is to love myself healthy. To do all that I do in the pursuit of weight loss and health with kindness to the woman in the mirror, no matter how she looks.

If any of what I’ve written resonates, I hope you too can break free. My wish for you is that as you walk your own path, you keep your eyes trained on your health goals and not simply on the scale.

Disheartening yet empowering. You're hurting now as expected but you are going to push through this phase of the pain quicker than you know. I'm so glad you left before your daughter saw you being mistreated and started to believe that's how a relationship with a man was supposed to be. Most people stay in unhealthy relationships and things only get worse. You made the right decision and he's going to regret his actions as well as those who fail to correct him when they knew what he was doing. As stated by others, fall in love with yourself again and the right man will come to you. Infidelity and rejection have a way of destroying parts of you that are hard to rebuild sometimes so give yourself time to heal. I've been there and it's a struggle some days but you're going to be just fine with a little more time. Congrats on regaining control of your life. Take care!

I'm so sorry you've been hurt like this. You're right, no one deserves to be treated this way. In my opinion what you need now is healing time. don't worry about dating or men....just focus on you and your child, and your health. Time will heal your heart......and you'll know when you're open to new relationships....but don't rush it. The good thing is now you know what kind of man you DON'T want. For now focus on you.
Regarding your bedroom.....I don't know what your finances are like, but if I were you I'd go buy a new bed......and redecorate your bedroom so it's all new and all about you.....throw everything out that has those bad memories and make everything fresh and new.......you know how when we're married we try not to make our bedrooms too girlie.....now make your bedroom all about you, as girlie as you want it!!! After my divorce I painted my bedroom pink...haha
I know the hurt is heavy now but know it will get a little easier everyday......just take one day at a time.
Take Care,
Kathy

Girl! Don't let this man dull your shine!
You are extremely brave and finally found the courage to leave.
This sounds like it was a very controlling relationship, you are lucky you got out after anything serious went wrong.
Unfortunately most controlling people do try to distroy their partners self esteem, making them feel unworthy, having no respect for being loyal etc... very common.
This man is no longer in your life, its time to do things for YOU!
You need to love YOU, respect YOU, be kind to YOU, do things for YOU.. because YOU deserve it.
Accept the fact that you are looking fabulous, take up a hobby you enjoy, get out there and live life....
Once you do this, you will feel more comfortable in your own skin...
Don't let this man take anymore of your happiness or self worth, you deserve better ????
Love and dating will come when you are ready, focus on living, loving and enjoying life..

I am so sorry that you went through all of that. Your ex-husband is nothing but a selfish, insecure, poor excuse of a man. He only cares about himself. You are beautiful. And I mean that. I just looked at your profile picture and WOW! Your teeth are so pretty, your skin complexion is amazing, and you have high cheek bones. You have very attractive qualities. I'm shocked that he was so stupid to let you go. He probably knew deep down that you deserved better. He probably thought you would reject him, so he gave up because he has too much pride to embarrass himself.

In my opinion, I still think it's too soon to start dating again. And I'm only saying this because it would be too soon for me. I think you may need to take a little more time to heal before you try again. But, if you think you are ready, then go for it! I know what it's like to crave companionship. Try to understand that not all men are like your ex. There is someone out there who is looking to find his Queen, and I think you are the perfect person. Try slowly to put yourself out there and really get to know a man. Don't settle for small talk. Make sure he wants to know about you, instead of only talking about himself. If he only talks about himself, then that is a bad sign that he is self-centered. He has to want to know about you in order to be interested.

Very heart braking, sorry this happened to you but I wouldn't rush into dating until your ready. When you go look in the mirror and say, I'm one sexy girl with confidence! Is when you should take dating by storm. Your ex is a coward and will always be one...so if you get a oz of the man you end up talking to be like your ex runnnn and don't feel sorry for the man! But lol I don't look into men's eyes either bc I don't want them to fall for me, I'm not ready myself b.c I'm not happy with myself yet. I don't want to bring the guy down if I end up changing my interests.. Good luck with it all though
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Sending up prayers for everyone having surgery today and those recovering. ☝????????

Best wishes to you all. I'm glad yo see you guys have dates already. I have approval because my surgeon gets that first, now I am just waiting for my date. My preop appointment is on the 25th (19 days away), I am hing to get a date then!

Girl best wishes... I know the feeling. I had to wait a whole yr and just got the call today saying I was approved and my surgery date is August 23. I hope u don't have to wait as long as I did
Asiangurl1

I am waiting for approval, surgery is August 18th.....I hope they move on it quickly!
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Sending up prayers for everyone having surgery today and those recovering. ☝????????

Finally got my date yesterday after waiting a month from when I got my Insurance Approval... August 17th, here I come! Pre-op appointment August 12th & no Pre-Op diet.

Hey ladies! I started my liquid diet today. So far so good just a little sluggish, lol! 15 days to surgery!
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Blessed to be home with family. It was a little challenging with our loving doggies (both affectionate pushers and jumpers) but they figured things out fast. My big dog sniffed and started crying in the back of his throat. It is good to be with the hairy and furry family members. Surgery went well. Pain yes - but it is in check. Fluids, fluids, and Protein will be the theme for the next few weeks. Woohooo! I've found the loser's bench!
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I'm having the bypass on Aug 24th!
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