heartfire

LOTS of prayers, Tina!! I am so sorry that you have to go thru this. Sounds like a good prognosis, so Praises for that!

Peter,

I am so very sorry to read of the loss of your dear wife. To echo the others- thank you so much for your post. This has got to be so difficult for you and yet you think of others who may have something like this happen and post a warning in the midst of your grief. Thank you and may God hold you and your family in the palm of His hand. My heart breaks for you. You and your family are in my prayers.

Michelle

Alright, let me be the honest jack*ss and comes out to say exactly what so many on these boards are feeling and don't say because they are too nice or don't want to cause controversy:
Is it possible that the band isn't working because of an underlying medical issue? ABSOLUTELY! Is it very likely that the medical issue would have been uncovered BEFORE one resorted to the extreme measure of having SURGERY to install a BAND AROUND ONE'S STOMACH!?! Also, ABSOLUTELY! Is it possible that the medical condition that is causing one to not lose weight started AFTER the installation of the band? Possible? YES! LIKELY? NO! So... when someone comes on these boards complaining about how the band has failed them but they have been unable to uncover any medical reason for it... it is completely understandable that people would start asking questions about diet and exercise and drinking with meals, etc.
Here's the reality, folks. All us fatties have to face it (despite plateaus that may last for months)... that CALORIES IN MINUS CALORIES BURNED = NET CALORIC INTAKE. If we consume more than 3500 calories (net intake)... we're going to gain a pound or more of weight. Can we sometimes have stalls... and Water weight issues and complications that cause long long long plateaus? YES! Can we blame the band for them?!? Heck NO! We had them before the band and we'll have them with the band! Yo-Yo dieting is the one major item in our fat gaining/losing history that we all have to face will contribute to plateaus. It doesn't seem fair... but it's our burden to bear. We have to live with it. We can fight it with or without the band... but, personally, I'd rather do it WITH my band.
For those people who come on these boards and tell us that they went into this surgery expecting the band to STOP them from overeating... or STOP them from eating the wrong things?!?... I have to say... girlfriend... boyfriend... honey-child... You didn't do your freakin' research! So who the heck is to blame for that?!? If your surgeon told you otherwise... then you were STUPID to have believed him or her. There are dozens and dozens of lapband resources on the web (including this wonderful site) that would have told you otherwise.
I'm sorry if I have offended or hurt you.. but the reality has to be spelled out to all of us one day or another. I was (and still am) a fat freakin' slob who would rather sit his fat *ss on the couch and watch TV with a 2-liter of Coca-Cola and a platter of enchiladas than to have to watch my intake of foods and to give up carbonated beverages. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE (get my point?) soda and other carbonated drinks! They were my solace... my lifeblood... my rock... my anchor.. my friend and lover. Coca-Cola was, in my old mind, created just for me. I would date its ugly step-sisters... Pepsi and Mountain Dew and Dr. Pepper occasionally... but my steady-friend was the red and white miracle of Coca-Cola. I probably ingested 5000 or more calories weekly just in my sweet bubbly lover. But... NOW? My band (and scars) remind me that soda helped to get me where I am and that I have to remember that and live with the realization that it can no longer provide me comfort when I am down. An occasional slushy coke (from my slushmug) that removes all the carbonation and has only 8-ounces and 100 calories? Sure. but to go back to what I used to consume? NEVER! The same applies to french fries and pizza and and and and and and.... two dozen other yummy high calorie items.
Can I consume those things and then come here and complain that my band isn't working for me? NO! I need to to wake up and smell the calories! Maybe if I couldn't get control of these food and beverage items I would have to seek counseling.. or a revision to another form of bariatric surgery. But that wouldn't be the fault of the band... that would be all of my own doing. I would have to accept responsiblity for my band failure and I wouldn't expect others to give me comfort and solace and understanding and praise for doing so.
With all that said... I only hope and pray that your band can start to align itself with your mind and metabolism (as it has with mine) so that you can begin to experience in your heart and mind the wonderful feeling of success! I would never wish you anything but that!

I think you should sit down and take a good, hard look and what you are really expecting and wanting out of WLS. THEN decide which surgery would be right for you. Lapbanders who have a big problem with un-controllable sugar cravings may be able to eat around the band. Bypass, you have dumping after you eat a certain amount (an you can eat small amounts of sugar). Portion Control issues work great with the band, bypass- throw it up and go back for more food.

It is really up to you to really look at your reasons/issues behind needing/wanting WLS and then go from there.

As far as what some of you are saying about ALL bypass patients, get some of your facts straight, unless you know someone personally like I do and even then, it does not affect ALL bypass patients.

I'm not a fan of bypass FOR MYSELF b/c I don't want to cut up and re-arrange my insides BUT my mom and sister both had bypass and they are both doing fantastic. My sister has since had THREE kids after her surgery and all were fine and healthy. My mom works out like a maniac and loves it. At 61 she's bike riding, working out, kayaking, hiking, etc., all stuff she had NEVER been able to do because of her weight. My sister is 6 years out and my mom is 4 1/2 years out.

Now I will say that my sister's DH had bypass as well and he has gained all of his weight back. He eats til he pukes and then goes back for more food. He didn't change his lifestyle and expected the bypass to do all the work. He blames the surgery, not himself for his problems. He's also a disgusting, prejudiced pig (and that has nothing to do with his weight!) and I hate him and figure he got what he deserved but that's a family thing!:biggrin2:

As far as complications with my sister and mom, both have to watch their Iron levels, they will get anemic if they aren't paying attention. Mom has a stomach that tends to produce too much acid if she doesn't eat regularly or pay attention to what she's putting in her stomach but it's totally manageable if she's paying attention (and she had stomach problems before surgery). And neither one has pale, pasty complexions! They both take multi-vits but they did before surgery as well, so no difference with that. And neither one has re-gained any weight.

For myself, I didn't want to re-arrange my insides and I don't have the weight to lose that my mom and sister did. I also haven't been heavy my whole life like they were and I don't want to have a lot of loose skin. I'm hoping with a slower loss, I'll have less skin problems. I can't afford surgery for that so I'm hoping to avoid most of it with a slower loss. I also like the idea of not being down after surgery for long. I have a 2 year old and DH is a fireman and I have be up and going fairly quickly with DH gone for 72 hour shifts. To me, LB is less invasive and a safer procedure overall.

Anyway, the decision isn't up to us, patients at your office or your doctors, it's up to you. Best wishes with your decision!

Do you really feel that way? I guess I dont read every thread here, but I always felt that people who were struggling were treated compassionately even if it was tough love.
Personally, I'll always argue with what I perceive as a warped attitude - I'll always have something to say if someone posts that their band just isnt working and then goes on to display some spectactularly self defeating way of thinking. I always start gently but you can guarantee when you point out that someone might *just* be sabotaging themselves they'll come back aggressively and defensively and then it can become heated.
Its just that you can so often read something so clearly in what someone says that they just cant see themselves and if they COULD see it, you know it would be really helpful, but of course, they have to want to see it. I just figure if they're here asking about it then they are ready to accept constructive criticism, but its not always the case.
From my own point of view it would never be my intention to belittle someone who was struggling with weight loss. But having had a few A-HA moments along the way myself, I really do feel I've got some information to share that will be helpful to some people - and that simply offering sympathy and commiseration is not really a positive contribution.
I do think too that if the band was (like for ALL of us, lets face it) your last ditch effort, then if its not working, to go through a stage of being very anti band is probably natural, and getting it out of your system on a forum is probably helpful to some.
Is that what you mean? That if you come out and have a good ol whinge about it, like everyone needs to do at times, that you'll get a lot of argument, negative remarks etc? I've seen many threads that begin with "I dont want a lecture.... I just want to complain" and those nearly always are met with sympathy and compassion, by me too, outspoken as I am. Make clear that you just want to know that others are feelign the same way and you'll get the support you want, I'm sure.

I have a 3 pronged approach. First, I have lost tons of weight in my life. So when they say if you just eat right and exercise, you'll lose weight, I say "oh, losing weight isn't the problem. It's keeping it off."
Then I blind them with science.... I tell them about the studies that show that yo-yo dieting changes your body so it fights to keep you fat by telling you that you're hungry all the time. I also tell them about the study where they measured the brain waves in the part of the brain that recognizes satiety and how morbidly obese people have weaker brain waves and so often don't feel "full". Then I explain how the lap band works to combat these things so that once you lose the weight, you have a fighting chance to keep it off.
If that doesn't work (and it works 99.9% of the time), I say "then I guess you still are driving a horse and buggy to work and cooking your dinner on a wood stove" ... doing things in an easier way is SMART, if you ask me. Doing it the "hard" way just to say you did seems pretty pointless.

Brandy,
I'm so glad you're appt went well and you two were able to come up with a plan. That's got to feel good on some level.

It does sound like you need to get your head on straight about the sweets. Sounds like you figured that out today. Is there a way to talk regularly to the nutritionist or maybe even the psychiatrist who did your eval? I know mine gave me his card so I could call anytime I needed to talk. I'm wondering if writing down everything you're feeling when you want to start eating the sweets would help. It would at least slow you down and then you could go back later and maybe some kind of trigger might pop out at you. Then you could work on the trigger.

Sheesh! Sorry if it sounds like I'm analyzing you. Maybe I should have gone to school after all!! Ugh! You can tell me to shut my trap. It won't hurt my feelings. I know I talk too much!! :Dancing_biggrin:

I do worry about how down on yourself you sound. I know you've been having a really hard time but you aren't a failure. I have worked for years on stopping the negative talk that I give myself. I can tell you that I still do it but I feel so much better for having stopped most of it. We are our own worst critics. No one can be harder on us than ourselves.

Okay, I think I'm done for now! Seriously, I know I don't know you except for some writings on a message board, so I will stop if you tell me to. I do only want to help and wish the best for you. (Me and my armchair psychiatry!) :glare:

Rep Power was enabled by mistake today. I was about to disable it when I came up with a great idea. I want LBT to be a positive place and we really need to stop any negativity that pops up every once in a while. With that spirit in mind, members can now only leave positive reputation:thumbup: