Anna Nim

I believe that Magnesium (Oratate, Gluatamte..basically anything but Magnesium Oxide or Magnesium Citrate) is the magic supplement. Stress burns out our stores, surgery is stressful, it adds to depression, increases anxiety. The book, Magnesium Miracle is a good source of information or even Amazon reviews on magnesium. To me and some of my friends, Magnesium is the bomb. I regularly take 200% of daily value (gotta fill up the empty bucket), in fact I bought some tonight as I ran out..and guess what? Been depressed and low energy. We are all IMHO low on it. If you take too much, you only poop it out. I think we ALL should be taking it! You are only weeks from surgery and in a major life change, this will soon pass and you will be in rocking shape when that baby gets here.

Doesn't seem enough time off.

Everyone has said what I could..but yeah, ignore her. She is feeling a bit threatened as you both were similar weights and now you have taken a drastic step. She is projecting that old, 'try harder' myth on you. If "people" have been gossiping, don't worry, people gossip about everything and everyone at work, but actually care little. Eat and do whatever YOU want.

I am a Texan, and in general I'd avoid rice like the plague-use it as sparingly as salt. Forget the tortillas and that stupid "two corn equals one flour tortilla" idea. Fill up the plate with lettuce or nopal and then put on your meats. I haven't had surgery yet, but I already see Mexican food being a point of sadness for me..

I am planning a Sleeve (Thanksgiving as that is when I will have the money, since insurance doesn't cover jack) because it has less Vitamin deficiencies, far less chance of dumping, shorter surgery time, I read that the part of the stomach they take out produces the most Ghrelin, the hunger hormone, and I would like less of that. They used to do a Sleeve first then later add on the bypass, which could still be an option. I see that you have a bit more to lose than me and yes (I am 5 10 and currently 285), the bypass tends to have people lose more, but I think if your Sleeve didn't work or if you end up with severe GERD, you could then do a bypass later.

"Getting a hobby" may not be THE answer, but it can be an answer or at least a way to be involved in social interactions. ....but not wanting to go out is where the loop begins.

Social Isolation is worse than weight. I myself had a very dark moment in time tonight where I thought about the future when my son, the light of my life is graduated in a few years and off living somewhere with a wife, when my ill mother is gone and even when my father is gone-how profoundly sad I will be and how I also may be content with staying at home alone and depressed instead of trying to be social when I am flat and purposeless inside. I am envious of people who have family and extended family around. Their kids, the grandkids and whomever else. I see myself missing my son when he is grown everyday until the moment I die. I don't have the answer (Oh..get a hobby isn't it...). I know weight and pain only makes it worse, but looking at my Dad. He is slim and lonely as anything. My heart breaks for how much my parents have missed me since moving away from home years ago. I am single. My exH is alone and the "love of my life" that I did moved mountains to be with turned out to be a covert, sneaky narcopath. Sometimes I think of going back with him just to not be so damn alone. I KNOW I have hijacked your post and dropping a ton of depression on it, but yes, the weight has major issues, but worse is the depression that comes from loneliness.

You are not going to like what I am going to say... I speak my mind with tough love. I can only say it like I see it; so for what it is worth: Stressed at work and BP does not make a man leave his children and wife. Those two issues can make drive him to drink or kick the dog. There could easily be another woman. IF that comes out, please don't take the blame for it. IMHO, when they leave and use another woman as an excuse, it won't have been the first time. You know, the old, "You've changed, I don't feel attention enough". story. Many relationships change after a big life change, in this case, WLS, but you guys have young kids, twins and a special needs kid. That is a high level of "Adulting" that can make a person want to run..the strong, grow up and tackle another day and then the next and the next. The anger is sometimes a way to make you give him space to do whatever he is doing and not ask questions and be okay with whatever he is up to. One thing that helps is NOT being afraid he won't come back. Don't beg. You have to still be a parent in the face of incredible stress while he does what? Sit on "someones" sofa and complain? I can assure you, you could, if needed to, do this on your own. If he knows that you really, really do not need him, that you have true confidence in your own abilities to do life on your own, he will take notice and maybe even be a bit afraid..because, what if you are not waiting for him when he returns (and no doubt he will), but what if you don't respect him after him leaving you in the lurch. Him knowing that you mean business, will have him respect you...No Matter What Happens. You may not feel strong enough right now, but you are and once you know it through and through, nothing can take that away from you. I do hope for the best for this situation, I really, really do.

A bit of sabotage going on with your folks? Do talk to them. Maybe they are afraid and figure if they hold off money you won't do it. Or some kinda game. WHY won't they loan you the money? You will also need money for your special foods and such. But, if they won't budge, my best ideas are these: *If you have a clear title on a car, you can get an awful high interest signature loan of about $300-600 dollars. *You can pawn stuff. Usually you get it for 3 months, then you have to pay the interest and can keep the item (re-newing the loan every 30-90 days with interest payments. *Got anything you can sell? "Anything" adds up quick. (Re-sale toys on Craigslist or at a resale shop, Retro Stuff, books to Halfprice Books, Jewelry on Craigslist, Furniture). Of course, met people in public to sell stuff. When I have to sell stuff, I make it slightly cheaper than others to get it gone quicker. *Craigslist for temp bartending jobs, catering jobs, babysitting jobs. Call catering companies to work a few weekends. *Temporary agencies (often more trouble than they are worth....) *Get a job (Denny's) and don't tell em about surgery and then quit with only a few days notice.. *Can your boyfriend do lawn work or something else on nights/weekends for the cash. All those above I have done for quick cash. Good Luck

Texas is such a large state I think the "Local Area Chapters" needs it's own category!

I have not been Sleeved yet, but in general, I notice that I am a starving lunatic on low-calories (and then crash and burn), but on lower carb (like 40 grams a day) and no calorie counting I am not starving and lose some weight. Sounds like you are not "Obsessed" but hungry!

Neither Link worked. One could not be found, the other (on Firefox) took me to the Doctor's website, but not the PP. Regarding the "Average", the Statistics have nothing to do with you. You may lose more, you may lose less.. I had knee surgery with a 85% success rate, here I am now needing it again-so clearly my stats were not average. Like rain, 100% or 0% chance or rain on your house no matter the percent chance of rain your city..

@AussieGirl81 You should have told him he is lucky you don't hurt him after such a dumb ass comment! Really, Those. Exact. Words.

I cancelled surgery 5 years ago. I had lost weight in the pre-3 month phase and more at a strenuous job. I was afraid of surgery for various reasons. I did keep that weight off for about a year and a half. Then I gained it back, plus more, then lost it, then plateaued, then had a devastating break-up where I lost 40 pounds in four months. Got bone spurs from anger/crying hiking..another year and a half passed and this school year, I gained even a bit more and have 'life styled and dieted' myself up a good 25 lbs larger than before (285), plus my knee, which has a old ACL surgery, has now worn-out to near bone-on-bone, plus another planned ACL surgery. The weight has certainly made my knee far worse, far faster, so for the knee issues alone, I wish I'd done it 5 years ago. Sound familiar? My old insurance covered most of it, my current insurance has such poor coverage that I am essentially self-pay. I wanted to have surgery this summer, but my Dad (who is 50% loan/50% gifting me the money) is requiring a 3 month diet/exercise/supplement program for the money. So, I am looking at Thanksgiving.. Yes, I go round and round with the whole, if I can lose weight on my own, why surgery or if I can't keep it off, why bother with surgery. But, I was here 5 years ago and did not succeed. My two cents.

....your stomach is not a starfish ROTF!!!!!

Learn to only snort one line of cocaine... Learn to eat only ONE Lays chip (..remember nobody can eat just one ) How about Learn to keep your flap shut when I wasn't asking for diet advice!!!!

They have those plastic wands that you can put T-paper or wipes on the end of. I have seen them in "older people's" catalogs. Maybe get one of those or rig one up (to throw away of course!)

IMHO, scars are the least concern. They fade and I would take scars with tighter skin over loose skin any day of the week!

@@CelesteMarie "Not physically demanding job" ...a GM of a restaurant!!!! Returned only Four Days after surgery! As a F&B person I can say that your job is loots of walking & demanding. WOW, Respect. You must work like a dang BOSS!!

@@CelesteMarie "Not physically demanding job" ...a GM of a restaurant!!!! Returned only Four Days after surgery! As a F&B person I can say that your job is loots of walking & demanding. WOW, Respect. You must work like a dang BOSS!!

you had me at "Centipede in my pants" !!

I'd think you would be grandfather'd to what the bennies where when you started. Two years is crazy!

I am sorry. So very, very sorry. I hate to say this, but it there is likely far, far more going on than the 'past few weeks' and has NOTHING to do with weight gain nor loss and I hate to say it, but he will be back and/or keep you on a rotten carrot string as a back-up. I used to be afraid that my ex would leave me, then when I talked to the "other one", I was told.."No, you should be afraid that they do NOT leave". My son would have the rest of his childhood sucked away by this person.. IDK your situation at all, but as I just got out of a relationship with a narcissistic or some kinda Cluster B personality disordered person, your story is a red flag to me, so I will encourage you (or anyone in a relationship that makes no sense) to go to the Facebook page or Webpage called; "Let Me Reach" by Kim Saeed. Her site has magical articles that explain what I suspect was going on for a while, mainly her focus is narcissism in relationships. Note: Not all narc people have "all" the traits, but it is a great place for support and information. Good luck.

I have TRS Active Care with Aetna. They require a 5K co-pay, 20% of the surgery, the 'usual' doctor visits are paid at the regular rate (I think $50 a visit) AFTER the $2,500 deductible is paid and require a 3 month diet plan. That means about $10K out of pocket (mainly because my insurance re-sets on Sept 1st and it is not enough time for the 3 month diet and I have to meet my insurance deductible again). To self pay with Southwest Baratrics is...about 10K... To go with Dr. Ganta (whom I really like) is about 13K.. Sigh.