Anna Nim

Trying not to fret. I start the two week diet tomorrow (low-carb, then right before liquids). I am 46 with a BMI of 41, no other health conditions other than arthritis in my knees. I've had surgery before for my knee twice and a shattered finger with no issues; other than nausea once. My Dad had bad RK eye surgery years ago and literally can not drive at night-which has wrecked his social life. He says, what if you end up with something horribly wrong... He keeps quoting a false 7% risk of long-term serious effects. I get he is worried, I had to hear him talk a lot about his fears for knee replacement surgery and him thinking he was having a stroke when he was just dizzy from pain meds.. He is offering to give me 4K towards diet, physical trainers, etc..and then after a year, if it doesn't work, then give me 4K towards surgery. Sounds good? But, I am not interested in waiting longer. Not. One. Bit. But it is flipping me out and I am nervous enough. I KNOW the odds are in my favor, but of course..not a guarantee. We all want the guarantee. That is what we tell ourselves:The odd are ever in our favor (see what I did there). I worry about GERD, Gallbladder disease, Dehydration, etc. I have a 15 year old son. I postponed this surgery 5 1/2 years ago for different reasons, but partially fearful if something happened because my son was so young then-but I know that 15 is young too. Since then lost weight and then gained weight and kept it on. I don't even want to lose weight anymore for appearances, but just to slow down the rate of decay Anyway... that is it in a nutshell. Thanks for listening.

I guess what annoys me, is he spent DECADES trashing my size. When I was this height and younger, he would even tell people about his "Big" daughter...and nowwwwww I am not too big for surgery?? I contacted my surgeon to get the exact amount due by Dec 2 and they gave me a different amount. See, I have to pay 5k out of pocket and 20%. I wanted to know the exact 20% and to whom to pay the 5k. The guy was confused, I said, get back to me and I need it in writing...that way I can say, "Ok Dad, here we are...". I will contact them again on Monday (I will be back in Texas at that time.) I have asked for help before, but not much. Mainly, when I was getting a divorce and my ex took all funds and I was having to fight a custody battle with no funds (He did kindly give me 5K for that fun time).

Kinda aggro. My Dad is SUPPOSED to be loaning me the 8-10K that my insurance does not cover (yes, I know it is VERY close to self pay..). I told him that I was approved and I had my date (Dec 14th) and he kinda ignored me. I am visiting him in Virginia. He is a body worker and was working on my 'skinny' shins and said, "You know you are not that big that you need to have surgery." and "I am worried that they are going to mess you up.". Now...I get the worry part, I really do. I bailed out of his surgery-when it was paid for 6 years ago for my worries! But, IMHO my Dad is part of the reason I am overweight. He used to criticize my body so much as a kid/teen (when I was normal weight) and all the other women around us, that it damaged my body image (I was 5 11 and 160-170 in high school), and intentionally didn't pay full child support in an attempt to flush my mom out and have us live with him. I know there was a point when we were not getting correct Vitamins and nutrients as kids with her, kids. I think that leads to overeating in an attempt to get what you need. I still have anxiety when I see a empty fridge. But, enough about my childhood... Point is, I told my Dad that I have been obese for 16 years, I weight 288, 41 BMI, arthritis both my knees and ACL surgery on one, meaning knee replacement surgery is a probability in the future. I am 46 years old and "dieting" myself higher and higher.. In spring he ordered me boxes of supplements to lose weight. He is of the "keep trying" and "all you have to do..." camp. That is nice, but at what point to you admit that this is not working? At some point continuing to do the same thing over and over and expecting different results is foolish. He started telling me about the "majority of people who regain"..yada, yada. I am afraid he isn't going to loan me the money. I am mad at myself for not doing it before. I am very mad for having credit so messed up that at 46 I have to borrow from my father (even though he is always helping my brother..). I don't want him to bail and I of course, want it to work.. *now*

No bus!! No Uber!! No taxi! There HAS to be ONE person in your life whom you trust to give you a damn ride!!!! A co-worker, a neighbor..someone.

My date is Dec 14th, which is the exact date I wanted, I even have photographic proof of my handsome doctor I am a teacher. That gives 19 days off of work. I have to miss the last three days before Winter Break, which is fine by me. He did say that I could go home that day, like outpatient. Which seems REALLY weird. I will think about that some more. I would prefer my bed, but I worry about going home after something so major. We. Will. See. Now to find out the final total I owe (I have to pay $5k Out of Pocket PLUS my deductible) and other stuff. Sucks Big Time. Months ago I asked my Dad for a loan and now it is time to put up. He wanted me to try to diet and exercise, tried to make it conditional..which is his FAVORITE thing to do. I of course did little of that.. I am certain that I am pretty much paying for the whole thing myself..but that is okay, as long as I do no not wake up dead! The countdown begins and yes I am now very nervous!

How was your recuperation from the ACL surgery?Like all surgeries, it was the worst the first few days. I bought a "cyro cooler". Worth every single penny. (buy one) It circulates almost ice Water around your joint, which keeps the swelling down-essential to healing. Much better than bags of peas. Ice, ice baby. Think that was the key to taking few meds. The first surgery I remember being much worse. Mobility is always a fun one. As I am fat and tall, I put a toilet riser on my potty (still there), cleaned my house first, went shopping. I only took meds the first 3 or so days. I started PT day 4. I was driving within a week. Used a cart at the store a few times. Your son, I assume, is a young, fit kid who will bounce right up. I still am not as strong as I need to be, but I also missed a lot of PT.

ACL is not that bad, done it twice. Nice to have bell, like someone to make you meals for the first few days and keep items out of your path. That is it. Don't postpone. Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App

Husband gets to learn how to doubly step up.. Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App

Kids don't care if they fall, their bones are so Nelly they bounce! That is when you know you are good..when ya hurt Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App

A few hurdles and hoping for December, I am a Teacher and need that time. Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App

Our bodies will not allow us to get pregnant unless we have enough fat on us to support a pregnancy. Mother nature takes care of that. Your doctor may not know all the ins and outs. You're talking about having kids and for 5 years and then maybe more kids so you're talking 10 years possibly if you have 3 kids to weight loss surgery. I suggest you talk to someone else who knows more about sleeves and pregnancy. I have seen people get pregnant after a sleeve and then fine. That's what Multivitamins are for and a reasonable diet is for. Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App

Get help. VGS is NOT what you need. Period. Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App

Too high carbs? Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App

Cause your big hungry stomach is still intact under it and throwing up sucks, so naturally eating around it occurs. Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App

Right! I never trusted those 20 something skinny chicks telling me to eat "6 times a day" or whatever. I want a NUT to is or was overweight...THOSE people know what they are talking about! When I was in Middle School I would hear people say they "didn't eat breakfast", I HONESTLY thought they were lying to sound coy or something..I *had* low blood sugar and in the morning it was a debate between bread *now* to help or bathroom.

Do you by chance have a hital hernia? Then you can tell them you are having surgery to repair a hernia. Totally true Treatment for Acid Reflux? Or None Yo Business

And I can't get a date Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App

It is okay if you both eat different things, just eat at the same time at the table? Like the other said, have him get you soup. You might only have a few spoons, but then he feels that he 'brought you home dinner'. Remember, to most married men, YOU are his world and when you go or change, they feel terribly alone and afraid. That is likely driving the snide remarks (if this is new behavior) Let him know (again) WHY you HAVE to eat the way you do and how HARD it is. I would expect as you can eat a wider variety of foods, he will get on board more. My exbf years ago didn't understand why I could not have "just one" cookie or whatever, until I explained to his cocaine-dealing self (hence why he is a EX), would he be able to just take a 'little line of coke' and leave the rest..then he got it.

I have NOT had surgery, but I can tell you that I fought head hunger when I was on Mexican Diet Speed pills, "Lizard Spit" shots and when feeling sick. My brain didn't get WHY nothing tasted good, so I kept tossing more at it? Scares me. Look up taking Magnesium to keep you in balance, lots of Protein and good luck?

Wish I was able to get my act together and lose some weight BEFORE surgery to take advantage of Honeymoon. Knee surgery, then a double semi-injury AFTER knee surgery plus a very, very intensive job (worst. year. ever.) is not helping it. I so want the never ending mental thing with food to be GONE.

FYI, he WOULD have a place to go if you asked him to leave. It may be a hassle and he would guilt you like crazy, cause he *knows* how to work at your insecurities and love, but he is a grown up, he would figure it the fk out. Life Too short for this shit I tell you. Don't worry about others, worry about yourself. You were not born to be a doormat for all other's problems. Also, check out the page: Let Me Reach.com by Kim Saeed (has a FB page too, speaks the 'gospel' about narcissism in relationships (and the kinda co-dependent, overly understanding people with them) in small bitable articles. Not saying that is what is going on, but shades of it are not healthy either. Good Luck with your surgery and this.

Look for the patterns of selfishness, a week after MAJOR surgery and he is going to pout if he can't get his way for an outdoor event in the lovely, Texas humid heat. You mention other things he has said. You clearly noticed that you have been doing the heavy lifting with his child. How nice to have a mommie around for the horrible potty training years... Look for the patterns if him taking you for granted and you being second or having to justify yourself or apologize for yourself. Might be time to go. Remember time in a relationship is not an investment, but wasted precious, precious time when it is with a sub-part partner. I settled in my late 20's and paid dearly. Life is too damn short for that crap. I can assure you, it is too short. Good Luck.

sleep Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App

Oh, I didn't even see the Chili. yeah, that is an even bigger culprit than the late night Popsicle and the Protein. shakes. Tomato sauce is FULL of sugar, Beans pretty high. Try broth and low-starch veggie and meat Soup? (Like hamburger meat, beef broth, green beans, cabbage, etc) soup. The chicken salad sounds pretty low in carbs. Deviled eggs are filling and low too. good luck. I need to get on my wagon before I get on my high horse! LOLOL

Carbs are sneaky. "Carb Creep" will get you every time. I suspect they are higher than you realize. Re-count. When (hint to self) I get on a low carb diet I have to be no more more than 25-40 grams a DAY to lose anything. Also, look at total carbs, not the carb minus Fiber or sugar alcohol-but total carbs. sugar free is not carb free. Additionally, since the carbs are at night they are not getting burned off. (So for example, 3 Popsicle pops at 4 grams each is 12 grams at the very end of the day). The Premier shake has 5 total-so then there is 10 grams there. Plus, now you have dressing (check the carb count and the amount you are using). Then everything else. Try pickle pops to curb sugar urges and add more Water? More water might help.