Hi everyone

Looking for thoughts and guidance, feeling so confused. I am scheduled for surgery next week on the 9th. Just found out today my 14 year old son tore his ACL in football and will most likely need surgery. I'm thinking I should postpone my surgery so I can be available to care for him, prob multiple dr visits and then his surgery. I'm wondering how quickly I will be back in commission to get around and do what I need to do as a mom. Feeling selfish to have the surgery when he is needing my help, but afraid that if I don't do it now I might never. Thanks for any thoughts, so sick about this, terrible timing

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Edited November 3, 20169 yr by NJ Mom

Is there another family member that can help you out?

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You won't be carrying him. 14 yo on crutches. He'll be fine. So y'all uber if you have an appt the first week.

My husband, but I guess I'm so used to being the one to handle these things with doctors, etc. hard for me to not be involved. Plus it's difficult for him to get time off

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When is his surgery? It's not like you're going to be out of commission for weeks. Most people are up and about and even some back to work a week later. They encourage you to move and walk as much as you can, anyway. Lifting restrictions would really be the only concern. Obviously if his surgery is pretty much at the same time as yours it may be a issue if their isn't someone else around to help out.

I was back at work post op 8. Could have gone back post op 6.

Everyone's journey is different.

Don't postpone. Part of taking care of kids is showing them how to take care of yourself.

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I would go ahead with sleeve surgery. You're not down that long. You can drive in 24 hrs. It will work out with your son. GO FOR IT !!!! Good Luck

As a mom i totally get this... were by nature to be selfless and not selfish .... But if you dont take care of you... You wont be any use to anyone else. You have a husband and thats a blessing! Go get your surgery!

Just want to say a sincere thank you to all of you that took the time to respond to my dilemma. I'm just sick about it, as you all know the mental build up to have this surgery is huge, and this issue with my son has put me all out of sorts. I think I just don't want any distractions during my recuperation, I wanted this to be all about ME for once, but life happens and I will figure it out. My husband, who really didn't want me to have this surgery, is saying "its up to you"...that is not really what I wanted to hear, I wanted to hear, yes have it next week! We will work it out! I should get the results to the MRI for my son today or tomorrow and then can hopefully figure out the time schedule for both of us. Everyone is telling me to get a second opinion regardless for him, and to take him to NYC or Philly where we can get the best doctor. This all sounds time consuming to me, which is freaking me out. Sorry again for rambling, and thank you all so much, really what an amazingly supportive group!

I would go ahead and have your surgery. The only real issue I see is if there are doctor appts the first few days after your surgery - if you are still on any pain meds when you leave the hospital, you shouldn't drive until you've been off the narcotics for 48 hrs. But as someone else already said - you can always uber to your son's appointments or ask a family member or friend to help out with transport.

Your son is going to have a lot of questions about what surgery is like, what's anesthesia, etc. If you go forward with your surgery you can set a good example for him and he'll know you've been down a similar road. I think that's a very good thing. Besides--I suspect the ACL surgery will be down the road a bit.

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Thanks everyone. Found out my son will need a couple of weeks of therapy before he has the surgery so I'm going to go ahead with my surgery on Wed . His injury just took my head out of my surgery for a bit, but I know I need to do this NOW.

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Husband gets to learn how to doubly step up..

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ACL is not that bad, done it twice. Nice to have bell, like someone to make you meals for the first few days and keep items out of your path. That is it. Don't postpone.

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ACL is not that bad, done it twice. Nice to have bell, like someone to make you meals for the first few days and keep items out of your path. That is it. Don't postpone.

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How was your recuperation from the ACL surgery?

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ACL is not that bad, done it twice. Nice to have bell, like someone to make you meals for the first few days and keep items out of your path. That is it. Don't postpone.

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How was your recuperation from the ACL surgery?

Like all surgeries, it was the worst the first few days. I bought a "cyro cooler". Worth every single penny. (buy one) It circulates almost ice Water around your joint, which keeps the swelling down-essential to healing. Much better than bags of peas. Ice, ice baby. Think that was the key to taking few meds. The first surgery I remember being much worse. Mobility is always a fun one. As I am fat and tall, I put a toilet riser on my potty (still there), cleaned my house first, went shopping. I only took meds the first 3 or so days. I started PT day 4. I was driving within a week. Used a cart at the store a few times. Your son, I assume, is a young, fit kid who will bounce right up. I still am not as strong as I need to be, but I also missed a lot of PT.

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