Anna Nim

Waking up from any surgery is wacky, as the last thing you remember is starting to breathe thru the mask with ZERO memory of falling asleep, then suddenly you are somewhere else and tired, hurting and people keep talking to you!

I just had ACL knee surgery a month ago, and I face palmed the male nurse who was walking around the bed, as he wasn't there "5 minutes ago" & I couldn't open my eyes enough to see him, so I reached out when he walked by and got him square in the face!

My son had surgery in October and was trying to pull out the IV when he woke up. The doctor (!!!) had to lay on him and hold him down while they put him back under...twice!! They **finally** brought him back to me with his whole arm wrapped with a very nervous nurse. LOL

I hope to avoid a flipping catheter, those things are awful!

One easy book to look at after you have had blood work (although, of note, magnesium isn't usually tested nor shows as deficient until VERY low) is The Magnesium Miracle (I got my coy off of Amazon for like $10.). I was already taking it cause my Dad is a body worker and healthy as a horse at 72, and takes it.

Good luck.

I wish that there was more categories of useful information and tips for newbies without having to ask and ask or go back and search and search. Like expanded FAQ section. The doctors tell so little and the questions get repeated over and over here-leading to frustration that I hear in your post.

Maybe just ignore the newbies and hang with the older peeps?

You are going to lose weight, people will ask. If you tell them the truth, you will get more questions and possibly some judgy comments. Be prepared with your responses. To me, it doesn't matter what anyone says, it is your body and life is too short to worry about other's thoughts..unless they are paying a bill

If you are close to your siblings, your birth mom; then tell them if you want. A person does not have to be supportive to know what is going on with you-but it helps.

The rest tell em you are eating 6 small meals, low carb, high Protein and you had hernia surgery-or not.

I am being cheeky

@@Anna Nim@ and AussieGirl81 - I don't disagree with you. And I seriously respect your sincerity, but when someone is describing symptoms of major depression, I tend to freak out on the side of caution, not nutrition. I have too much experience with this (my ex, and a very close friend who blew her brains out just before Christmas last year). Some things I don't mess with. Help someone get safe and on stable ground, then and only then would I start worrying about their diet.

I NEVER suggested Vitamins at the expense of considering medication-that has already been suggested here by many others.

Depression is serious. I hear so much of myself in her. I have my own recent experiences with suicides in my circle, and my own lifelong struggles with depression (FYI, the meds & counseling did not help me One Iota..).

Medication even if started *today* won't start to really work for weeks. Hence why I see no reason not to take it now. Magnesium can be bought today and may help in the next few days. I personally, suggest *everyone* take it, not just Venomousflowers. There is a great book called the Magnesium Miracle that convinced me that it is the key to many of our well being. (Note: Low magnesium often does not show in blood work, when/if you get too much in your system by taking it, your gonna poop it out.).

Magnesium Orate or Magnesium Glutamate 200% of daily value.

This is still my personal recommendation to add to the rest.

Go to a Vitamin store. TODAY. Get Magnesium Oratate or Magnesium Glutamate. Magnesium is burned up during stress and we ALL are very, very low in it-our diets suck. Magnesium helps with depression, anxiety, energy levels!!! It is cheap to buy. Do not buy Mag Oxide (does not absorb) or Mag Citrate (poop city).

I myself take 200% of daily value-more if I am extra low. It can take a few days/weeks to fill up your bucket..but you will feel better soon. I had let mine slack and was in a sneaky hate spiral of tears and three days of hitting it hard and I feel better (not perfect, but better). It can upset your tummy a bit while your body gets used to it, no worries, it is slow and work up over the course of a few days.

Also good to pair it with TMG, Vitiman B, B12 and Folate-these are all cheap and good friends with each other.

I DO hear you on what is going on, I am not discounting and everyone has given advice, this is the best way I know to fix it from the inside.

Magnesium Citrate has a laxative effect (There is a brand called: Calm that you stir into water).

I told a lifelong super thin person I work with, BC she'll need to cover my medical leave requests.

With a deadpan serious face she asked, "Have you ever tried dieting?"

I am 49 years old.

I weigh 298 pounds.

Dieting? Nope, never heard of it.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

RIGHT!!!!!

Of Course I Have Tried Dieting!

Think surgery would be my First Choice?

(Here I am similar to you, age 46 and 286)

I have NOT had surgery yet. I cancelled a few years ago and am now planning on a Nov date (I would do it today if I could)

BUT, I can tell you I can sick of the "All you need to's" and the "Have you tried's"...

The worst is from my Dad! "My Doctor suggested to eat coconut for something sweet but low in fat/sugar"...blah. blah.

I am not and never have been requesting diet advice!!!

I am 46 years old. I am now 286. I know what I am "supposed to" do, yet here I am.

5 years ago I cancelled my Sleeve surgery two weeks ahead of time. I had lost weight and such, but then, of course, gained it all back plus more and arthritis too boot-and my insurance covered most of it. I am now planning on surgery in November ($$).

Yes, the RYN may be the 'gold standard', but I personally prefer the sleeve and it seems you *could* convert if you needed to. Regardless, it is the change the surgery that is the scary part, not they type of surgery... (it does concern me a bit that your Doctor is so pro RYN, you need him to be an expert in YOUR surgery..)

I can only speak so much, as I have not had surgery yet, but to me keeping carbs down and Protein up will help you be successful and this surgery will help as a major, major tool, not a magic bullet, but a tool.

To help with pre-surgery jitters get everything ready. food you may need to buy, bills paid in advance, house de-cluttered for the post-surgery exhaustion, post surgery comfy clothes ready, etc. I just had ACL knee surgery a week ago and doing all those little things made this past week a million times better. Also, go lift some weights or yoga. There isn't much time for worry inside of those activities.

I think it will all go well and I wish you the best!

@@danser

Have you considered Mexico? A lot of people here have gone that route and are thrilled. Yeah, I hear you. I have gotten medical treatments in Mexico before and was very happy with them, but in this case, after care will keep me in the United States.

Regardless if you go to this surgeon or not, he needs to know how his practice is being ran. It will cost him patients at least, and at worst, complications in a patient or a lawsuit. Preferably in writing, so he can get all the details together later.

Consider to at least consult with another surgeon, you may find someone you like as much, but whom is more organized.

I have noticed some people HAVE to have the last word, and go into longggg detail about it and their positions, when it would be better for them to stay out of the conversation all together. It can turn into Forum Bullying. I personally, comment when it may help or something I am interested in and ignore the rest, but wished I didn't have to ignore so much.

As for the old forum questions and overly simply questions-I will say I was here 5 years ago when I first was going to have surgery (and backed out of it) and the site is harder to navigate and do searches on than the prior layout. I also wish there was/more of a "standard" info section, to stop the repeated posts and make info easier to find.

Appropriate post for the Rant & Rave section. Night!

The recent way I did them, is put them in a large Tupper with ice. shake, shake, shake and the semi-busted shells will slide right off. I was amazed how fast it worked!

Like others said, there are compression/exercise garments you may like (Spanx can go back to hell!)

Buy/Wear them if they FEEL better to you (and they should), but DGAF about what your jelly looks like!

Not exactly.. but..

My Orthopedic doctor has these damn paper shorts to put on that only go up to L/XL. They do not fit, at all. I have to wear a specific pair of pants for my visits to avoid that embarrassment. I have talked to BOTH doctors in the office & they claim they don't make em bigger. Told em to look at a different company. I am "only" a size 24. I myself may find them myself so they can order larger. I can't be the only one!

Years ago, my first knee doctor wrote on my chart, "..a 33 year old, obese female". Well, hell, I didn't know I was technically obese, I thought he was a jerk (he was, but not for that)-what a shock!

My OBGYN after my son was born, told my now ex, that he was "Going to sew her up better than she was before". I just had a BABY and was still on the table. I interrupted and told him that I was perfect before (and indeed the episotimy was a mistake). Never went back to him and left him with a bit of the bill. Jerk. He had also told me that he might tie me down when I half-joked that I might kick him. Physical threats during delivery. Jerk.

Years ago, while going to a county/charity doctor for a female exam for some skin eruptions (due to my weight and fluctuating hormones), the Dr. asked how old my son was, when I mentioned I was breastfeeding. He was 15 months at the time. This Dr. told me to stop breastfeeding.

Well..I was a Breastfeeding Peer Counselor for WIC at the time and I told this Dr. that the AMA recommends until at least age one and the WHO recommends at least until age two. Furthermore, he needs to be careful what he tells patients, as he is a Dr. and that people are going to listen to him and they may stop breastfeeding because of him. I said this, WHILE in stirrups!!! I was livid. Why? Well, I had NOT gone to see him for my breastfeeding at all! Plus, when I asked for antibiotics to clear up the folliculitis (not my first rodeo with that fun issue), he said it would "clear up on it's own". Yeah..in weeks & weeks and leave scars. What a waste of my time. Imagine if I had not been a strong woman and did what he said. Jerk..

I have little patience for that. I consider Dr's independent contractors that I have hired for a job and there are plenty other doctors to see..

@@DebraM04,

"Will you use your body as a trash can, or will you use the trash can as a trash can?"

WORD!

(and yes, overhaul everyone's eating style. If you cook, take a break, they get what you cook, which should only be what is good for you, they don't need weight issues later either!)

What I wish is that we all could have been this way in our 20's...

Not taking anyone's junk-especially lovers-Life is too short for that crap!

Not doing things because we are/are not 'supposed to' or 'don't want to be rude'.

Not NOT taking chances because it might not work..well, hell how you gonna know?

Not having a self-esteem not matter what we look like naked.

I'd have been "dangerous" as a younger person

Water is a worry of mine. My surgery isn't until November (I had planned on this summer, as a teacher, but I won't have the money/family loan until November. Ugh)

The energy issues made me think of this..

IMHO, Magnesium will help us all be regular and have energy, reduces anxiety, depression and ADHD. Stress...like surgery or life sucks it all out, leaving exhaustion behind.

There is a book, Magnesium Miracle (Amazon/ Kindle/ Hardcopy) that I would buy the whole world a copy of.. In fact, I think I am going to change my screen name to The Magnesium Queen. Ha!

I am CONVINCED it is the cure for a lot of our current issues. After we spoke, an ex started taking it after she expressed that she didn't want to get back on Anti-Depressants, but was so anxiety ridden, but months later and daily magnesium and she still is without them! Not saying she is w/out anxiety, but she is functioning.

(Note: I am not trying to tell people to get off meds, I am *just saying* that her anxiety is now manageable with Magnesium and TMG).

All Magnesium is the same, but it has to be bound with something..

Magnesium Oxide is usually at the grocery store..but it only absorbs 10%..guess where the rest goes? Poop city. In fact, Mag Oxide and Mag Citrate are used for regularity, so I don't take those

I take it with Folate/B and D so they all work better. My Vitamin D was a low 17 in December.

I take either Magnesium Glutamate or Magnesium Oratate..I actually have both on my counter right now. I also work up to about 200% of daily value. (work up, because as your body gets used to it..guess where the extra goes). One pill a Day isn't going to cut it and that is Okay. If you buy gel caps you can open and put it in Water, sorta bitter, but doable).

It takes a while to fill up an empty bucket, so hence the larger than 100% dose and takes a bit to get the full effect.

Have a great day!

Smoking!

Like others have said and..

Get someone else, like maybe a trusted guy to look at your profile for suggestions. I actually looked at my brother's and took note. Maybe it can be improved to be more positive, less wordy or whatever..

Ensure you have good boundaries and confidence so the creepers will go away and you can spot the narcissists a mile away (Let me Reach with Kim Saeed is a magical website for seeing those types of dynamics in relationships).

Keep trying and see dates as Job Interviews, jettison the junk, and the dates keep you on your toes, so to speak.

Go to events of people that have interests you have. Go to Meetups and search for, let's say, Hikes, in your area and join a group. Then at least you have a group of people that you may become buddies/friends with and might find a sweetie too.

..and here I am, going to take my 45 year old self's advice

Since knowledge is power, I wanted to share a site that saved me in so many ways and I can not speak good enough about..

Let Me Reach by Kim Saeed Kim is on Facebook and Online and writes about narcissism recovery and it's effect on relationships in quick, bitable articles & is amazingly supportive. I had light bulbs explode in my head, the past and the current finally made some sense. Best suff I have ever read-and I have one of those oh-so-useful degrees in psychology!

When it falls apart, nothing makes sense; the stories, the reasons and the equation in a relationship is just not adding up.. this may be what is going on!

I 'thought' I knew what narcissism was, but I found it wasn't that simple. Also, a person does not have to have "all" the traits to fall under this category. To me, it seems the whole Co-Dependent/Narcissism manipulative dynamic is at the root of so much pain.

Kim's site is a total lifesaver!

Good Luck Peeps!

Your daughter is scared.

But, the odds are in your favor FOR this surgery and the outcomes. Yeah, you might have extra skin, but better than the extra weight and the effects on your joints.

You are bedbound and a Grandmother-so I assume you have had many years of "trying" the conventional way. You already know the outcome, you are living it.
Ultimately, it is your body, you wake up and go to sleep with it, not her and as you have supported her in her life choices, she will have no real choice but to support yours.

I suspect when the surgery time is actually here, she will be there for you, she clearly loves you.

Good luck

I believe that Magnesium (Oratate, Gluatamte..basically anything but Magnesium Oxide or Magnesium Citrate) is the magic supplement. Stress burns out our stores, surgery is stressful, it adds to depression, increases anxiety. The book, Magnesium Miracle is a good source of information or even Amazon reviews on magnesium. To me and some of my friends, Magnesium is the bomb. I regularly take 200% of daily value (gotta fill up the empty bucket), in fact I bought some tonight as I ran out..and guess what? Been depressed and low energy. We are all IMHO low on it. If you take too much, you only poop it out. I think we ALL should be taking it!

You are only weeks from surgery and in a major life change, this will soon pass and you will be in rocking shape when that baby gets here.

Doesn't seem enough time off.