PaulaB72

It's groups online with everyone trying to lose weight; however, I have gotten negative feedback from people I know in real life "My aunt died when she got a gastric bypass"- 16 years ago! It may not have been laproscopic, she may have already been in poor health, maybe she didn't go to a bariatric center of excellence etc.... Just the suggestion that she consider a sleeve.... meanwhile she has been doing weight watchers for the last 10 years suffering from hbp, Type 2 diabetes, and had a stroke at 35. SMH!

So sorry that this happened to you. I had something very similar happen to me in the past. It is crazy to me how some men only seem to care about what their little head wants and are willing to destroy their family to get it. If it is any consolation, I hope your narcissistic a-hole of a husband contracts an incurable STD from his coworker.

Ok, You're in a crowded building and head for the only doors and the person in front of you bumps into someone they know coming in.......and then they both stand in the doorway completely blocking it while they catch up on the last 15 years....oblivious to the hundreds of others wanting to enter or exit........HELLO....people who think they are the only ones on the planet.......

I waited until 2 months post op to tell my mom about my surgery. Add that to my pre-op and it was 8 months of "secret keeping" because I knew how'd she react. Her words when I told her "shame on you". I wasn't surprised and only mildly hurt. She has struggled with her weight her whole life and her health issues were one of the big reasons I got my surgery. I know at some point, probably the next family holiday, that it will come up and I'll have to defend my choices to my family because they don't know. Thankfully I've been armed by my team with the knowledge to educate the nay sayers and if they still want to be Negative Nancy they can be. I'll be on the other side of the room perscription drug free, not diabetic, in shape and sassy in my size 8's enjoying the company of those who are happy for me.
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I don't understand why people get so "upset" whenever wls is mentioned/offered as a tool to aid in weight loss. "Oh, you don't need that. You just need to....." Or once you mention that you've had wls, you are no longer a credible support to people losing the "natural" way.
Overall, I find that people are generally misinformed about the different procedures and supposedly "everyone" they know who had the surgery has either gained all the weight back or died...Everyone is suddenly an expert on the ills of weight loss surgery. Don't they realize that there are other circumstances that could have led to their deaths? Why blame WLS?
If it's not what you would do, fine; but why not be supportive if a person decides it's right for them? I think it's interesting that when a person has cancer, no one shames them for getting chemo or radiation. This is exactly why I don't tell everyone. It's like you have the freaking plague.
So annoying! Rant over....

Hunny....let me tell you. I am a nurse and I don't care what people say...I will tell them until they walk in my shoes then they can talk.....you don't have to tell anyone. It's none of their business.
Weight loss surgery is not easy as people think it is.
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The heating pad was my best friend!! I used it for a good month or so post op. Helped with gas pains and just regular healing discomfort. Hope you feel better soon!!!

You can wear huge over sized hoop earrings and they don't touch your shoulder anymore because your collar bone is visible now.

One scrambled egg. $1.20. [emoji23]

You're having an episode of depression. Trust me on this one. I've fought it off and on all my life. Stay on your meds give them 4 to 6 weeks. You may need to try a different medicine or you may need a combination of meds.
The important thing to remember is you can beat it. You can last longer than the symptoms, including lack of appetite. Don't give up. Ask your psychiatrist to refer u too a therapist. Talking will help u deal with your feelings. If you are religious seek help through priest, rabbi, minister, nun, etc. You've done something major to your body in order to help yourself. You have what it takes within you. You just can't see it right now.
But it's ok. Remember that. It will get better. I promise.

Hang in there. Use the time to get organized. Work on cleaning up your diet and reflecting on your triggers that make you eat. Increase your exercise goals. I hate waiting but I'm in my last 3 weeks. I've lost 34 lbs and feel like I've got a good handle on my food issues now. I'm ready for surgery June 1st. I wouldn't have been as ready 4 months ago.

I just had my birthday and I am so grateful for the chance at a new life!
I had a Power Crunch triple chocolate Protein bar. my family was disappointed that there was no cake, but that's ok. they will have cake this next weekend when Liz graduates.
Wishing you a happy Birthday and a wonderful year to come!

Aww, I'm sorry your family fell through on this one. Certainly they didn't mean to hurt you. They were likely just unsure of how to handle it while still being supportive of your efforts and limitations. Perhaps next year you could help them out with a few suggestions to select from? For my own birthday I plan to carve a watermelon into a cake round and decorate it with whipped cream and other fruits.
Happy belated birthday though! Here's is a special petit four just for you...

I had to kick two ex-husbands to the curb. The first was my high school sweetheart, and we were married for 23 years, which was about 20 years too long. I was in a church environment at the time when he began to cheat on me prolifically with no conscience. I prayed and stayed until it just became ridiculous to endure him bring other people's germs home to our marital bed and putting my health at risk. Our daughters were 15 and 17 at the time, but they understood how toxic and one-sided the marriage was.
My second marriage lasted ten years, but he had psychological issues that had been hidden from me and eventually manifested themselves by him mistaking me for a punching bag. I had to flee the state to get to safety.
I stayed man-free for a couple of years so that I could get to know myself. I needed to know what I would eat, do, watch on TV...without someone else shaping my decision.
Once I was comfortable with who I was in my natural mental state, I reached out for companionship. I knew then exactly what the deal-breakers would be and where I was flexible to compromise. That is when I met a kind and thoughtful gentleman from Malta and we have been together now for ten years with no issues in sight.
A one-sided relationship is no fun and not emotionally fulfilling. Sorry to say that your wife has already "checked out". If patience and counseling have not given you results, it is time to decide which way to go. I agree that you are not doing the children any favors by staying together, especially if you and your wife expose them to drama and conflict. That then becomes their example of what a normal marriage looks like, and sets them up for failure at relationships.
Originally, I did not want to admit defeat by getting divorced, but I finally realized that the mess was not about me. It was about selfish spouses who had no regard for sanctity of marriage. It sound like to me that your weight loss has absolutely nothing to do with your dilemma.
Hold your head up high and face the raw truth about your relationship with your wife.......you tried. It sounds like you both are totally exhausted from trying to keep things patched together. I wish you the best with some future happiness and peace of mind.

I can only say that children are better off with 2 happy parents - even if they aren't together than 2 unhappy parents staying in a relationship only for the children. Don't stay together for the children - do whatever will make you happy and be a good parent!
If that's working it out than great!

Okay, so I'm not the only one! Good to know. I thought my stomach was haunted...

It looks like your surgeon needs to take a chill pill lmao Sent from my SM-G925T using the BariatricPal App

I have never ate lettuce based salads because lettuce has zero nutritional value.
I like baby spinach salads. Spinach totally breaks down. I can eat a lot of spinach and I find it makes a great afternoon snack. 3 ounces of spinach is 1/3 of a bag of a spinach, and 20 calories.

I have found salad to be something of a slider for me, too - which isn't really a bad thing considering the high nutritional density of most salads (if you do them right and don't load them up with a lot of high calorie junk!) I found when starting with salads a month or so out that if I cut back my normal serving capacity of meat from 3 oz to 2, that I had comfortable room for another 3ish oz of salad veg (typically chopped spinach, avo, Tomato, green onion and bell pepper, and/or whatever else I had around. I found it a convenient way to get in at least a token amount of veg, and make my eating a bit more "normal" than typical post-op fare, which made for less of a "being on a diet" feeling and reinforced what good sustainable eating habits that I already had. Such salads are still a staple of my diet five years later.

Yes, it is none of their business, but it still doesn’t feel good when they say that. I guess you could say “Yes, it is on my diet.” If you feel the need to explain more, and they seem to be listening, you could explain that “I am allowed to eat this because I am learning to incorporate real foods in reasonable amounts in my diet.”

I think everyone who sells things is out to make the most they can…I’m thinking about food, now. When you look at food costs, the foods that are specifically marketed as “healthy” are way more expensive, even if there’s no necessary reason. One of my favorite examples is soy protein: it’s used as a filler in meat products because it’s cheap, but if you buy vegetarian “meat” with soy (like veggie burgers), you’ll pay a ton for soy Protein.< /p>

I went shopping this morning and picked up size 12 because my 14's were getting a little big. I tried them on and had to go back and get size 10's!!!! I did a little happy dance in the dressing room!!!! I am so happy and feeling so much more like living life finally!!!! I am going on 12 months and am down 98 pounds trying to hit the 100 pounds by June 16, my dr's appt. I just wanted to Celebrate with someone and you guys are so supportive!!!!

@@jenn1
President of the HOA?
I see some violation fines in those jerks futures.....

I think we need to stop policing other's choices unless they are asking for input. There is a big difference between the occasional hot dog at a baseball game or on the 4th of July and making it a regular part of one's choices.
The OP was illustrating his post with volume he could consume.
I'm a huge baseball fan. My husband works for the SF Giants. I get to two or three games a year. Someday I'd like to have a hotdog or half a bratwurst at a game. That won't happen this season. In the meantime, the Giants actually have a vegetable garden and adjacent food options that are organic, grown right there in the Park, and including vegan choices. It was the idea of one of our players, actually. It started out as an avocado tree grown from a pit by one of the grounds crew. True story.
My point is, not everyone wants, needs, or enjoys eating your way. Or mine. And that's fine. What we all need to do is keep an eye on our own choices, making sure that they're volume-appropriate, nutritionally dense, and enjoyable. There is room in everyone's life for the occasional different choice so long as we're mindful of how often "occasional" is.

From my experience I'm being more cautious about who I tell. I had the lap band 6 years ago and lost about 30 pounds (from 192 to 162). I was very happy with the results but everyone else I knew (especially my father in law) would ask me how I felt about getting something that didn't work. Uhhhhh.... It did work. I was happy. Anywhoo the band broke and I regained (up to 177) and got the sleeve. I'm keeping my mouth shut because God forbid I don't get down to a preteen size I'm sure those people are going to comment AGAIN. I have no aspirations of being the size of a preteen. I want to be able to play tennis with my family again without huffing all around the court. I may use this, I read it on a board the other day... "Oh my weight loss? How? Acupuncture and hypnosis". I'm practicing saying it in the mirror with a straight face. Good luck to all, chins up, don't let the silly comments ruin any of your journey. (Now if I can just heed my own advice... ;) )
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