maxbette36

You are right about the lifetime commitment and the forever changed relationship with food. I just have a couple a comments. They will not be popular responses and you will undoubtedly have people tell you that my mindset about having the sleeve is a sure-fire recipe for failure, but I'll say them anyway;
I do not now, nor have I ever counted calories or grams of Protein since getting the sleeve. I do try and make an effort to make decent choices but if I eat cake for dinner then so be it. I hate Water and have never bothered with trying to meet a goal of drinking a certain amount per day.
I do not give a second thought to gaining back weight I've already lost. I went to Mexico for the surgery. Dr Almanza. There's a lot of controversy about Almanza. For me personally he did a great job. This thing doesn't stretch, doesn't give an inch, and it is a very dependable barrier for the excess food I still wish I could eat. I see a lot of posts about people who have gained weight back with the sleeve. After 3 years mine still works like a charm.
I'm just trying to say that it is a unique experience for each individual. The counseling you are getting is a good thing and will certainly help you make up your mind but keep in mind that everyone is different. What is hard for one may be easy for another - that kind of thing.

I was a slow loser before and after. I have to exercise at least 4 days per week in order to lose a few pounds per month.

I'm a year and 5 months out, not just 5 months. Lol just making sure you didn't think I lost 172 lbs in 5 months!
I guess my best tip would be to work on yourself mentally. There is a reason we all got to 250 or 300 lbs, a reason we needed this surgery - and a lot of it is mental. I worked with therapists, nutritionists, and groups at my hospital to repair my mind and be sure that the changes I made were for life. Other than that...follow your doctors plans, don't drink your calories, learn moderation in the way you eat. Don't label foods as "good" or "bad." food is just food. It is fuel for your body. Don't be afraid to treat yourself in moderation; learn balance. Protein first has become such a way of life for me that I don't even think about it anymore - same with checking nutrition labels.

I was revised from gastroplasty to sleeve December 2013. Lost 150. Sw 350 cw 200. Losing very slowly now, but still losing. I am using every tool in the toolbox. Counseling, trainer, gym, walking, Water aerobics, monthly support groups, online support, and my personal support team of friends and family. I also call my surgeon's office when I have concerns. I have had many stalls. Some last a few days, weeks or a couple of months. Do not compare yourself to others. We all have different experiences. We did not gain over night, so do not expect to lose so quickly. Take your measurements. That is a better guide than the scale. Stalls are a good thing. Your body has to catch up with itself. Get your bloodwork checked. How is your thyroid? Are you taking your Vitamins? Are you getting plenty of Protein? Hang in there. Be patient. This is not a race.

I like this a lot! I really am sick of the fat shaming especially that it's still prominent in the medical field. My primary care physician went off on me about my mental health diagnoses, said it's all in my head and that once I start losing weight I'll be much happier. I quote her "maybe the surgery is a gift from God for you not to be fat anymore." ha if that's my pcps reaction to my situation I don't even care to know some of my peers'. These responses are great thanks guys! Sent from my LG-D850 using Tapatalk

this is mine from xmas eve 2015

I was this person just over a year ago. I joined gyms and would stop going after a month or two. I'd buy equipment and use it maybe once or twice a month if that. I hated sweating, I hated the trying and seeing absolutely nothing for my efforts.
But after the sleeve and getting used to eating better and dropping weight regularly, I realized I was feeling a bit better and started having a tiny bit more energy. That coincided with my neighborhood pool opening and I remembered how much I loved swimming, so I started going when I could. I'd drive there, go splash and dive and float and end up exercising without even meaning to because it was fun. I started going regularly throughout the summer, and eventually worked up to riding my bike there and back instead of driving (it is just over a mile round trip). Because I also remembered when I was a kid, how much I loved riding a bike. And it was also fun!
And the really amazing part is that I started seeing real progress - I wasn't huffing and puffing riding a half mile or swimming the length of the pool. I noticed muscle definition in my arms and legs. I was measuring each month, and I would see definite inches lost in addition to seeing the scale slowly moving downwards. It was never smooth steady progress, but it was happening pretty often and I was even more encouraged to keep going, push myself a little more and enjoyed it even more knowing I was going to get actual, visual/measurable benefits.
If you hate gym exercises, don't force yourself to do them. There are hundreds of other things you could be doing that you'd actually look forward to.
The point being, you have to give yourself time to adjust to seeing real actual progress for one thing, and you also have to find something that won't seem like exercise because you enjoy doing it just for fun.
Think back to when you were a kid - did you love riding your bike all over the neighborhood? Playing frisbee or catch or some sport in the park? Swimming? Climbing or hiking out in the woods? Or maybe just walking through a pretty park and bird watching (or people watching)? Even stuff like bowling is going to be fun but still gets you up and down, lifting weights, swinging your arms and concentrating on moving correctly and could be a gateway activity that might lead to others that will push you further along (as long as you're not eating the bowling alley food!)
Open your mind to the possibilities and you'll never feel mad or stressed about exercise again... because it will just be you out having fun and moving your body!
You should be able to find something that you used to love and it can be picked back up and re-purposed into regular exercise. Or at least find something now as an adult that you can grow to enjoy. Good luck!!

If I am cheating then I am glad as I now have a chance to keep weight off and cheat an early death.

Protip to the OP:
According to you, you've been misunderstood. You're not really having a bad time.
But in the future, if you don't want to mislead others into thinking you're having a really rough time and are inviting encouragement from those who have more WLS experience and success than you've had so far, don't start a thread titled "This Week I Failed" that includes this language:
"... I only exercised once this week. I feel really bad about that. I suppose a better word for it is ashamed. I have this secret fear that I will never make my goal weight. That my work will just be in vain.

I ... have this fear of not being successful. I have lost more than fifty lbs, but I keep thinking what if this is it. As a person who has "old fat", I have been over weight/obese since my youth, perhaps this is all my body will know. So I guess I gave up this week in some ways."
Better yet, don't snark at those who've taken the time to respond to your thread and offered their perspectives based on their personal experience.
This board is just a community. Nothing more, nothing less. You will either benefit from it (and enjoy it), or you won't. But however that goes it's truly your choice.

@@1Cor2:9, "Shame" is a highly-charged word for most of us. It may have a different connotation for you, but for many of us, shame has been accompanied by feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. Those are feelings we work hard each day to distance ourselves from. What @@VSGAnn2014 wrote is spot on. Setting ourselves a goal of "I will lose X lbs by Y date" is an invitation to set ourselves up for those feelings, which is why I stay away from them.
Life happens. Multiple crashing deadlines, little gnats in the yogurt of life, flat tires, and bad hair days happen. None of us is perfect at the new behaviors we're practicing. If I may, here's what I tell my clients who are working on these kinds of goals: Set behavioral goals. Instead of losing a given number of pounds, that you will keep to your food plan for so many days of the week. Instead of expecting to hit the gym a maximum number of days each week, set a goal that's reasonable for the week that you've got. It will be different on some weeks than others - and that's perfectly OK. Some weeks you'll blast your goals out of the Water. Yay, you! Some weeks it will be a struggle to meet the minimum you've set for yourself. Yay, you! Each one is a success that you can stick in your pocket of successes, big ones and little ones. Over time that pocket of successes becomes a set of healthy habits.
Feeling bad is one thing, feeling you are bad is quite another. Congratulations on your successes!

Defining success is often difficult, but you must. How will we know if we have success if we don't imagine its form?
I'm concerned about the word ashamed. If you know Brenee Brown or her TED Talks, you know that guilt is "I did wrong," and shame is, "I am wrong." Hun. We're teachers. Sometimes, we get enough exercise just pushing our luck. Go watch some Brenee, and realize we need to cut ourselves some slack more than we need to chop firewood for exercise.

My two cents' worth:
I think all these weight goal challenges that are defined as X pounds lost by Y date are just nuts and lead exactly to where you are right now -- feeling destabilized and like you're a failure because the scales didn't produce a number you defined as "success" and thought would make you feel worthy.
And yes, life will always, always throw us curve balls. You're not going to change that ever. And you're not going to have a perfect lifestyle in any single week. A healthy lifestyle is built week after month after year. And one of the biggest tools you need to build a healthy lifestyle is to learn not to hate on yourself because you aren't perfect. No one is perfect. No one. At the end of a week like this, just set new goals for next week. Or today. That's how this goes.
Now, back to the scale: Yes, we are entitled to want to lose X pounds and reach our weight goal. But our bodies do NOT lose weight on a schedule. We don't lose in a simple, linear downhill straight line. Regardless of whether we're doing everything "right," we sometimes stall or even gain weight. You cannot -- repeat, cannot -- control all the factors that influence the rate at which you lose weight.
You've lost 50 pounds in two months. I hope you know that rate of weight loss is not going to continue for much longer. Maybe that rate of weight loss is going to slow down next month.
You are on this journey for the rest of your life. Not last week. Not next week. Take a deep breath and get ready for the trip.
BTW, my fat was "old," too. That has nothing to do with your future success as a WLS patient. I had my surgery at 68 years old. I'm 70 years old now. I've lost 100 pounds and am maintaining now at 135 pounds -- skinniest and fittest I've been in 35 years.
So buck up, you young thang you!

You don't say what your goal weight is, or where you started so it is hard to tell details about whether you still have a very long way to go or not... but I'm going off of your stats on the side that you are around 2 ish months out (if it's three, your progress is still awesome).
But in any case, 50 pounds in 2 months is AMAZING. I would have been over the moon happy at that level of progress at 2 months out, and you totally should use that awesome progress to really focus your energy and motivation on. You should be proud and psyched up about how well your body is responding already - not depressed that it isn't 10 times better!
At 2 months, you're probably eating so little calories that just puttering around the house would exhaust you; but you're out working and doing assemblies and field trips in addition to your regular job in there, and still managed to exercise once too? Girl, that is mind blowing!
You have nothing to be ashamed about. I was not exercising at all at 2 months out and I don't regret it one minute. It took me until about 6 months out to have the energy and motivation to establish a real exercise routine. It is HARD to start from morbidly obese with very sedentary habits and hit the ground eating perfectly and exercising 3X or more a week. I think you are being waaaay too hard on yourself. You need to forgive yourself and definitely not set such crazy high standards and goals!
This is not a race. You have the rest of your life to get and stay healthy. To discover fun exercise and find joy in eating healthy foods and being active because you enjoy it and not because you're forcing yourself to go through the motions. Your sleeve will not fail you if you work at it - get in your Water, eating Protein first, good veggies and complex carbs in moderation and slowly get moving and find ways to stay active.
But you absolutely should banish the shame. You are working hard at changing your entire life. That is going to take time, and life also gets in the way - job, family, home obligations - they are all going to slow you down while you figure out how to put the pieces for this new puzzle together. But you'll figure it out - even if it takes you a few months or a year - and it will be GLORIOUS.
You are doing fabulously and will be successful if you focus on the happy and the amazing and toss the shame and guilt and depression. Good luck!!

I have this many days till day 1 or 10 day eating good before surgery.

Today marks 3 months since I was re-born into this brave new world! And since that day, I cannot even begin to enumerate the exponential feelings of wellness and hopefulness that have begun to saturate my life. My goodness, I knew I needed help, but I had no idea how much of an addict to food I really was, and how every aspect of my life was somehow either tied around food, or mitigated by food, most of the time in negative nonsensical self-harming ways!
Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined, or even supposed in my defeated mind, that I could come so far in so little time! But here I stand, 3 months later, half way there, 54lb’s lighter, working out north of 1 hour every day (no excuses and I love it, and actually look forward to it!), no longer prediabetic, experiencing wellness, dancing around with my kiddos with giddy abandonment, full of energy, wanting to take pictures again, with a renewed sense of self-worth, with a focused mind, doing a double take at that lady in the mirror, being more in control and feeling so positive about most of my food choices. Friends, there is a brand new energy that I oscillate with these days, and there is an inner joy about me that I forgot I was even capable of experiencing.
I have spent today with a heart full of gratitude to God, I think that is most of what I feel today. Grateful that I have been rescued from what was not only a miserable, but a horribly unhealthy, sunken life. That I came through surgery and could see the faces of my kiddos again! For the amazing friendships I have made along the way on Bariatric Pals, without whom this journey would have been an infinitely lonelier one. You know who you are…thank you!!!
All this…and I’m only half way there!!! I’m more motivated and pumped than ever before. So I wanted to share this with you, thank you all for your love, encourage you in your journey (especially if you were like me, so torn about the decision to do or not to do!) and invite you to let me know where you are in your journey, your thoughts and laments around 3 months, or before or after! Just a collective pause to savor the goodness J
Sending you Sunshine!
Ellie

@@Marie2016, same story here. Therapy for my BED saved me and made it possible for me to have a successful wls experience. PM me as well if u need to talk.

I have been in therapy for 9 months and only really knew I was ready for wls after 4 months of therapy..I completely agree with your post but also know that not everyone realizes that over eating and/or binge eating stems from deep seeded issues.. I am just so happy that I have control of my eating habits now mentally and physically.

During my pre-op journey, I started going to a therapist to figure out why I have allowed myself to get into this situation. ( over 100 lbs over weight with many medical conditions) I have been diagnosed with both PTSD and Compulsive eating disorder. Wondering if there are many peeps out there like me? I believe the surgery will not work for me without therapy. I have been going weekly for 5 months. The connection between the " why" is important to me. Anyone in the same boat? I would love to hear from you.

My Bariatric surgeon told me the sleeve will stretch a little naturally over time, but will NEVER be the size it was before surgery.
That's the reason why it's so important to not just count on restriction after the initial honeymoon period. It's up to us to still eat responsibly and follow the rules basically for the rest of our lives. I know that sounds daunting, but it is what it is. We will naturally be able to eat more over time, no matter if you believe the sleeve stretches considerably or not.
Not blaming the OP for her gain at all. Gaining some weight after a few years post WLS seems to be the norm from what I've seen. No need to be bummed out or panic. Just be proactive. The further out we are, the harder it is. Like I said, it is what it is I too, will have to prepare for the day. Boooo!

Age: 34
Personality: INFJ
Weight: 288 lbs
Relationship status: Committed
Location: Florida
Health: Good, but not much stamina
That's me, in a nutshell. My favorite thing to do is to travel and explore everything around me. I'm insatiably curious and love interacting with different cultures. I've traveled to several countries with various missionary and relief projects because I believe in spending my resources helping those less fortunate. I love hiking in the woods, zip-lining between mountains, scuba diving, getting intentionally lost in new cities on foot, and meeting new people. Skydiving is on my bucket list. I'm fiercely independent and stubbornness is my fatal flaw.
History: I've done all of these things overweight. I've lost up to 60 lbs (twice), my lowest adult weight being 220 at one time. I felt marvelous and my energy was unending. The weight stayed off for about two years, but when it came back brought another 10 or 20 on top of what my highest had previously been.
Recently, the scale tipped 296, something I never thought I'd see. I was mortified that I'd let myself get that high, as I'd started feeling the physical signs of that much weight: Being physically uncomfortable with that much bulge (sitting comfortably), energy sapping quickly, sore feet after just a couple of hours of exploring New York. Knees painful when climbing stairs.
I noticed in myself the last few months that I've started withdrawing from social situations and meeting new people out of embarrassment over how I look. I had an internet friend visit the states from the UK recently, and I wanted to fly out to meet her. I didn't. I want to visit my dad back home in Minnesota since it's been six years. I'm not.
I've tried two dieting attempts in the past year. I lost 12 lbs doing very strict low carb, which was confusing to me since usually I dropped weight quicker with healthy eating. My doctor explained it as my body becoming resistant to low carb dieting, since I've tried it and failed so many times before. I knew I needed help this time, so I made an appointment with bariatrics to talk about getting put on a dieting pill -- they had another solution for me.
Present: Long story short, I've come to the conclusion that the sleeve will be the help I need to really make a lifestyle change. I know it won't be easy, and due to my stubbornness, I'm not used to doing things the easy way. I'm ready. My excitement is growing. I've been stalking and lurking this forum and youtube for the past two weeks, learning all I can.
Here're a few things that really were the tipping point for this decision:
-Getting rid of my PCOS. I want to bear children sometime soon! I know PCOS will complicate that.
- Airplane seat belts. I fly every 3 weeks or so, and having a seat belt not fit was mortifying. About 50% of seat belts fit me, depending on the plane. If they don't, I tuck the buckle under my belly. Also, seats in general.. not comfortable.
-Ahem.. intimate positions. I really enjoy sex, and have been increasingly sad that I'm not able to do the things I once could.
-Social embarrassment/afraid to meet people
-Meeting my boyfriend's parents is sometime in the near future (They're Asian. Even though my boyfriend is also overweight, he's dating a white girl.. and a fat one at that. Two strikes against me in Asian culture)
-Wedding pictures.. nuff said.
-I've always dreamed of a trip around the world, and I finally have the funds for it. How much fun would it be if I tire easily, though?
-How far away is diabetes with my sugar addiction and weight, really?
-I completed a GoRuck (physical endurance) Light challenge this summer and loved it. I want to do more.
Things I just can't wait for:
- Stamina! Being able to explore all day and not have to stop to rest my aching feet and knees.
- Traveling comfortably. Airplane belts that fit. Not having to squeeze between people in a restaurant.
- Forgoing that first assessment when entering a room where I look around to see if I'm the fattest person there... you know what I mean.
- Summer dresses!!
-Cute shoes and cute clothes. Not having to shop in Lane Bryant for everything.
-If I need something, being able to simply go to the store and get it. Explaining to my boyfriend why I couldn't just go into the mall and get a winter coat was embarrassing. Not being able to buy emergency clothes in Central America.. ugh. Packing light and buying clothes wherever I travel to would be a real possibility.
-
-Theme park rides. I love roller coasters, and the last time I went, it was touch and go whether or not I fit in the seat.
-Boots that fit my calves!
-Skydiving
-Being able to do more than a couple sets of stairs without my knees starting to hurt
-Enough room to snuggle comfortably on the couch with my boyfriend
-GoRuck Tough!!
Anyway.. that's me! My name is Rio and I'm starting this journey now. I'm telling very few people in my life..my direct coworkers, my wonderful, supportive boyfriend, and a couple of close friends. I'm not close with most of my family, and I know there will be a lot of judgment there, so I've chosen to not tell them. I'm trying not to go overboard and over-prepare.. already looking at bariatric plates, collagen cream for loose skin.. lol. When I'm excited, I prepare (I've mostly contained myself, but I did try a Protein drink powder and I bought a cute bento bowl for my lunches). I'm about two months away from surgery with no firm date set yet. I'll be getting sleeved at the mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida. I am just one EGD and two classes away from my workup being completed.

I'm tallish I'm 5'8" I'm down to 182 from a high of 315 I think I'm at goal if I lost another 5 lbs I'd be ok too..


These are my befores


These are after

I don't know a whole lot about this but I THINK that for me the Sleeve is helping me boost my metabolism by:
1) making it possible for me to exercise regularly; and
2) teaching me to eat in a way that elevates my metabolism rather than depresses it.
I truly believe that many of our pre-surgery dieting habits are what have wrecked our metabolisms. (Eating infrequently, eating the wrong foods, not being able to move and be active, etc.)
For me, the sleeve has been the only way I have been able to lose any weight in years.
I am still early in the process (I was sleeved April 20, 2015) and have a long way to go, but I am thrilled with my experience and results so far.

Christian or not, this is just not acceptable:
"I need to be on "His plan". And he is angry at me for gainig weight, and not being an obedient wife."
You are a grown, adult, human being. No one "controls" you.
If he can't lovingly support you, and accept that marriage is a partnership then he sounds like a lousy "husband". Coercion is not an expression of love.
No, he doesn't have to buy you junk food. But, he also doesn't get to criticize and belittle you without serious repercussions to your marriage. That is abuse as far as I am concerned.
There is a reason I'm not married...
This crap certainly wouldn't fly with me.
You deserve so much better.

I have only recently started watching this show and I did catch the premier this week.
One thing that resonated with me from the show was her sisters attitude toward her. She told Nikki she didn't want her children to have any contact with her because it was emotionally traumatizing to them. I am aware those were not the exact words used (because I can't recall the exact terminology she used) but the meaning is the same. It's bad enough that others attitude and thought processes continually perpetuates the stigma attached to morbidly obese individuals but this was worse because it was a family member. Furthermore, if she thinks she can shield her children from seeing fat people she is sadly mistaken.
Moreover, the other issue with the sister that made my ass crave stove wood is her telling Nikki when she did see her she was scared she was going to die and would never see her again. Well if that's true why would you distance yourself from her rather than embrace the time you had left with her?
I am glad she was able to forgive her sister and mend the relationship because that would've been a hard one for me. I think she was doing it for herself more than she was her sister.

No. The reason you are told to take small sips is that big gulps are often downright painful with a new sleeve. I guarantee you have not stretched a brand-new sleeve by drinking Water.