acuri08

I just want to thank every one here for there support. As of Thursday evening my story has completely changed. I will post a copy on this topic.
I'm almost afraid to say it, but at the same time I feel like I need to go outside and shout it from the roof tops! I feel amazing! I am an entirely new person. These first two months from surgery have been the most trying time in my entire life. Most days I couldn't get out of bed, and I wanted nothing more than to lay there and die. I struggled for the first month with muscle pain so severe I couldn't move. After that I struggled debilitating nausea. It got so bad that I hadn't eaten in over a month. On the rare occasion I would try the food would come right back up. Early last week it got so bad that I could no longer keep down Water. At this point I had been in the hospital 5 times for dehydration and different tests. I was taking protonix, Zofran, scopolamine Patches, Reglan, and I was wearing sea bands for motion sickness. None of these things could even take the edge off my nausea. My CT and my Upper GI were clear. My surgeons team kept telling me jit was all in my head. I was so severely depressed and felt like I had no where to go. I was beginning my surgeon for an EDG and she was refusing to give me one. After being unable to keep Water down for two days I went back to the ER and finally demanded I get the care I deserved. I was not going to leave there without answers. I was immediately admitted upon arrival where they found that my potassium levels were dangerously low. Lower than they have ever seen. I was given 6 bags of potassium and countless bags of Fluid to clear the dehydration. I also demanded the do the scope. The scope found slight narrowing that was able to be fixed on the spot. I don't know if it's the scope or the fluids, or potassium that cured me, but whatever it was I finally have my life back. I wake up ready to live every single day! I'm taking half the anti depressants I was before. I hated hated hated hated hated hearing people say it gets better. I was so convinced there was no way out for me. I would lay in bed waiting to die. But it got better. It got so much better. I am living breathing proof that it can all change. I encourage anyone struggling the way I did to advocate for themselves, the doctors and surgeons won't do it for you. I still can't say I would do this all over again, currently I am still too traumatized, but I have learned so much from this surgery. I had this surgery for myself and it was like I had forgotten that after surgery. I needed to still be fighting for myself. I know this is long but I just hope my story can help.

I just want to thank every one here for there support. As of Thursday evening my story has completely changed. I will post a copy on this topic.
I'm almost afraid to say it, but at the same time I feel like I need to go outside and shout it from the roof tops! I feel amazing! I am an entirely new person. These first two months from surgery have been the most trying time in my entire life. Most days I couldn't get out of bed, and I wanted nothing more than to lay there and die. I struggled for the first month with muscle pain so severe I couldn't move. After that I struggled debilitating nausea. It got so bad that I hadn't eaten in over a month. On the rare occasion I would try the food would come right back up. Early last week it got so bad that I could no longer keep down Water. At this point I had been in the hospital 5 times for dehydration and different tests. I was taking protonix, Zofran, scopolamine Patches, Reglan, and I was wearing sea bands for motion sickness. None of these things could even take the edge off my nausea. My CT and my Upper GI were clear. My surgeons team kept telling me jit was all in my head. I was so severely depressed and felt like I had no where to go. I was beginning my surgeon for an EDG and she was refusing to give me one. After being unable to keep Water down for two days I went back to the ER and finally demanded I get the care I deserved. I was not going to leave there without answers. I was immediately admitted upon arrival where they found that my potassium levels were dangerously low. Lower than they have ever seen. I was given 6 bags of potassium and countless bags of Fluid to clear the dehydration. I also demanded the do the scope. The scope found slight narrowing that was able to be fixed on the spot. I don't know if it's the scope or the fluids, or potassium that cured me, but whatever it was I finally have my life back. I wake up ready to live every single day! I'm taking half the anti depressants I was before. I hated hated hated hated hated hearing people say it gets better. I was so convinced there was no way out for me. I would lay in bed waiting to die. But it got better. It got so much better. I am living breathing proof that it can all change. I encourage anyone struggling the way I did to advocate for themselves, the doctors and surgeons won't do it for you. I still can't say I would do this all over again, currently I am still too traumatized, but I have learned so much from this surgery. I had this surgery for myself and it was like I had forgotten that after surgery. I needed to still be fighting for myself. I know this is long but I just hope my story can help.

I just want to thank every one here for there support. As of Thursday evening my story has completely changed. I will post a copy on this topic.
I'm almost afraid to say it, but at the same time I feel like I need to go outside and shout it from the roof tops! I feel amazing! I am an entirely new person. These first two months from surgery have been the most trying time in my entire life. Most days I couldn't get out of bed, and I wanted nothing more than to lay there and die. I struggled for the first month with muscle pain so severe I couldn't move. After that I struggled debilitating nausea. It got so bad that I hadn't eaten in over a month. On the rare occasion I would try the food would come right back up. Early last week it got so bad that I could no longer keep down Water. At this point I had been in the hospital 5 times for dehydration and different tests. I was taking protonix, Zofran, scopolamine Patches, Reglan, and I was wearing sea bands for motion sickness. None of these things could even take the edge off my nausea. My CT and my Upper GI were clear. My surgeons team kept telling me jit was all in my head. I was so severely depressed and felt like I had no where to go. I was beginning my surgeon for an EDG and she was refusing to give me one. After being unable to keep Water down for two days I went back to the ER and finally demanded I get the care I deserved. I was not going to leave there without answers. I was immediately admitted upon arrival where they found that my potassium levels were dangerously low. Lower than they have ever seen. I was given 6 bags of potassium and countless bags of Fluid to clear the dehydration. I also demanded the do the scope. The scope found slight narrowing that was able to be fixed on the spot. I don't know if it's the scope or the fluids, or potassium that cured me, but whatever it was I finally have my life back. I wake up ready to live every single day! I'm taking half the anti depressants I was before. I hated hated hated hated hated hearing people say it gets better. I was so convinced there was no way out for me. I would lay in bed waiting to die. But it got better. It got so much better. I am living breathing proof that it can all change. I encourage anyone struggling the way I did to advocate for themselves, the doctors and surgeons won't do it for you. I still can't say I would do this all over again, currently I am still too traumatized, but I have learned so much from this surgery. I had this surgery for myself and it was like I had forgotten that after surgery. I needed to still be fighting for myself. I know this is long but I just hope my story can help.

I just want to thank every one here for there support. As of Thursday evening my story has completely changed. I will post a copy on this topic.
I'm almost afraid to say it, but at the same time I feel like I need to go outside and shout it from the roof tops! I feel amazing! I am an entirely new person. These first two months from surgery have been the most trying time in my entire life. Most days I couldn't get out of bed, and I wanted nothing more than to lay there and die. I struggled for the first month with muscle pain so severe I couldn't move. After that I struggled debilitating nausea. It got so bad that I hadn't eaten in over a month. On the rare occasion I would try the food would come right back up. Early last week it got so bad that I could no longer keep down Water. At this point I had been in the hospital 5 times for dehydration and different tests. I was taking protonix, Zofran, scopolamine Patches, Reglan, and I was wearing sea bands for motion sickness. None of these things could even take the edge off my nausea. My CT and my Upper GI were clear. My surgeons team kept telling me jit was all in my head. I was so severely depressed and felt like I had no where to go. I was beginning my surgeon for an EDG and she was refusing to give me one. After being unable to keep Water down for two days I went back to the ER and finally demanded I get the care I deserved. I was not going to leave there without answers. I was immediately admitted upon arrival where they found that my potassium levels were dangerously low. Lower than they have ever seen. I was given 6 bags of potassium and countless bags of Fluid to clear the dehydration. I also demanded the do the scope. The scope found slight narrowing that was able to be fixed on the spot. I don't know if it's the scope or the fluids, or potassium that cured me, but whatever it was I finally have my life back. I wake up ready to live every single day! I'm taking half the anti depressants I was before. I hated hated hated hated hated hearing people say it gets better. I was so convinced there was no way out for me. I would lay in bed waiting to die. But it got better. It got so much better. I am living breathing proof that it can all change. I encourage anyone struggling the way I did to advocate for themselves, the doctors and surgeons won't do it for you. I still can't say I would do this all over again, currently I am still too traumatized, but I have learned so much from this surgery. I had this surgery for myself and it was like I had forgotten that after surgery. I needed to still be fighting for myself. I know this is long but I just hope my story can help.

I just want to thank every one here for there support. As of Thursday evening my story has completely changed. I will post a copy on this topic.
I'm almost afraid to say it, but at the same time I feel like I need to go outside and shout it from the roof tops! I feel amazing! I am an entirely new person. These first two months from surgery have been the most trying time in my entire life. Most days I couldn't get out of bed, and I wanted nothing more than to lay there and die. I struggled for the first month with muscle pain so severe I couldn't move. After that I struggled debilitating nausea. It got so bad that I hadn't eaten in over a month. On the rare occasion I would try the food would come right back up. Early last week it got so bad that I could no longer keep down Water. At this point I had been in the hospital 5 times for dehydration and different tests. I was taking protonix, Zofran, scopolamine Patches, Reglan, and I was wearing sea bands for motion sickness. None of these things could even take the edge off my nausea. My CT and my Upper GI were clear. My surgeons team kept telling me jit was all in my head. I was so severely depressed and felt like I had no where to go. I was beginning my surgeon for an EDG and she was refusing to give me one. After being unable to keep Water down for two days I went back to the ER and finally demanded I get the care I deserved. I was not going to leave there without answers. I was immediately admitted upon arrival where they found that my potassium levels were dangerously low. Lower than they have ever seen. I was given 6 bags of potassium and countless bags of Fluid to clear the dehydration. I also demanded the do the scope. The scope found slight narrowing that was able to be fixed on the spot. I don't know if it's the scope or the fluids, or potassium that cured me, but whatever it was I finally have my life back. I wake up ready to live every single day! I'm taking half the anti depressants I was before. I hated hated hated hated hated hearing people say it gets better. I was so convinced there was no way out for me. I would lay in bed waiting to die. But it got better. It got so much better. I am living breathing proof that it can all change. I encourage anyone struggling the way I did to advocate for themselves, the doctors and surgeons won't do it for you. I still can't say I would do this all over again, currently I am still too traumatized, but I have learned so much from this surgery. I had this surgery for myself and it was like I had forgotten that after surgery. I needed to still be fighting for myself. I know this is long but I just hope my story can help.

I just want to thank every one here for there support. As of Thursday evening my story has completely changed. I will post a copy on this topic.
I'm almost afraid to say it, but at the same time I feel like I need to go outside and shout it from the roof tops! I feel amazing! I am an entirely new person. These first two months from surgery have been the most trying time in my entire life. Most days I couldn't get out of bed, and I wanted nothing more than to lay there and die. I struggled for the first month with muscle pain so severe I couldn't move. After that I struggled debilitating nausea. It got so bad that I hadn't eaten in over a month. On the rare occasion I would try the food would come right back up. Early last week it got so bad that I could no longer keep down Water. At this point I had been in the hospital 5 times for dehydration and different tests. I was taking protonix, Zofran, scopolamine Patches, Reglan, and I was wearing sea bands for motion sickness. None of these things could even take the edge off my nausea. My CT and my Upper GI were clear. My surgeons team kept telling me jit was all in my head. I was so severely depressed and felt like I had no where to go. I was beginning my surgeon for an EDG and she was refusing to give me one. After being unable to keep Water down for two days I went back to the ER and finally demanded I get the care I deserved. I was not going to leave there without answers. I was immediately admitted upon arrival where they found that my potassium levels were dangerously low. Lower than they have ever seen. I was given 6 bags of potassium and countless bags of Fluid to clear the dehydration. I also demanded the do the scope. The scope found slight narrowing that was able to be fixed on the spot. I don't know if it's the scope or the fluids, or potassium that cured me, but whatever it was I finally have my life back. I wake up ready to live every single day! I'm taking half the anti depressants I was before. I hated hated hated hated hated hearing people say it gets better. I was so convinced there was no way out for me. I would lay in bed waiting to die. But it got better. It got so much better. I am living breathing proof that it can all change. I encourage anyone struggling the way I did to advocate for themselves, the doctors and surgeons won't do it for you. I still can't say I would do this all over again, currently I am still too traumatized, but I have learned so much from this surgery. I had this surgery for myself and it was like I had forgotten that after surgery. I needed to still be fighting for myself. I know this is long but I just hope my story can help.

I'm almost afraid to say it, but at the same time I feel like I need to go outside and shout it from the roof tops! I feel amazing! I am an entirely new person. These first two months from surgery have been the most trying time in my entire life. Most days I couldn't get out of bed, and I wanted nothing more than to lay there and die. I struggled for the first month with muscle pain so severe I couldn't move. After that I struggled debilitating nausea. It got so bad that I hadn't eaten in over a month. On the rare occasion I would try the food would come right back up. Early last week it got so bad that I could no longer keep down Water. At this point I had been in the hospital 5 times for dehydration and different tests. I was taking protonix, Zofran, scopolamine Patches, Reglan, and I was wearing sea bands for motion sickness. None of these things could even take the edge off my nausea. My CT and my Upper GI were clear. My surgeons team kept telling me jit was all in my head. I was so severely depressed and felt like I had no where to go. I was beginning my surgeon for an EDG and she was refusing to give me one. After being unable to keep water down for two days I went back to the ER and finally demanded I get the care I deserved. I was not going to leave there without answers. I was immediately admitted upon arrival where they found that my potassium levels were dangerously low. Lower than they have ever seen. I was given 6 bags of potassium and countless bags of Fluid to clear the dehydration. I also demanded the do the scope. The scope found slight narrowing that was able to be fixed on the spot. I don't know if it's the scope or the fluids, or potassium that cured me, but whatever it was I finally have my life back. I wake up ready to live every single day! I'm taking half the anti depressants I was before. I hated hated hated hated hated hearing people say it gets better. I was so convinced there was no way out for me. I would lay in bed waiting to die. But it got better. It got so much better. I am living breathing proof that it can all change. I encourage anyone struggling the way I did to advocate for themselves, the doctors and surgeons won't do it for you. I still can't say I would do this all over again, currently I am still too traumatized, but I have learned so much from this surgery. I had this surgery for myself and it was like I had forgotten that after surgery. I needed to still be fighting for myself. I know this is long but I just hope my story can help.

I just want to thank every one here for there support. As of Thursday evening my story has completely changed. I will post a copy on this topic.
I'm almost afraid to say it, but at the same time I feel like I need to go outside and shout it from the roof tops! I feel amazing! I am an entirely new person. These first two months from surgery have been the most trying time in my entire life. Most days I couldn't get out of bed, and I wanted nothing more than to lay there and die. I struggled for the first month with muscle pain so severe I couldn't move. After that I struggled debilitating nausea. It got so bad that I hadn't eaten in over a month. On the rare occasion I would try the food would come right back up. Early last week it got so bad that I could no longer keep down Water. At this point I had been in the hospital 5 times for dehydration and different tests. I was taking protonix, Zofran, scopolamine Patches, Reglan, and I was wearing sea bands for motion sickness. None of these things could even take the edge off my nausea. My CT and my Upper GI were clear. My surgeons team kept telling me jit was all in my head. I was so severely depressed and felt like I had no where to go. I was beginning my surgeon for an EDG and she was refusing to give me one. After being unable to keep Water down for two days I went back to the ER and finally demanded I get the care I deserved. I was not going to leave there without answers. I was immediately admitted upon arrival where they found that my potassium levels were dangerously low. Lower than they have ever seen. I was given 6 bags of potassium and countless bags of Fluid to clear the dehydration. I also demanded the do the scope. The scope found slight narrowing that was able to be fixed on the spot. I don't know if it's the scope or the fluids, or potassium that cured me, but whatever it was I finally have my life back. I wake up ready to live every single day! I'm taking half the anti depressants I was before. I hated hated hated hated hated hearing people say it gets better. I was so convinced there was no way out for me. I would lay in bed waiting to die. But it got better. It got so much better. I am living breathing proof that it can all change. I encourage anyone struggling the way I did to advocate for themselves, the doctors and surgeons won't do it for you. I still can't say I would do this all over again, currently I am still too traumatized, but I have learned so much from this surgery. I had this surgery for myself and it was like I had forgotten that after surgery. I needed to still be fighting for myself. I know this is long but I just hope my story can help.

I just want to thank every one here for there support. As of Thursday evening my story has completely changed. I will post a copy on this topic.
I'm almost afraid to say it, but at the same time I feel like I need to go outside and shout it from the roof tops! I feel amazing! I am an entirely new person. These first two months from surgery have been the most trying time in my entire life. Most days I couldn't get out of bed, and I wanted nothing more than to lay there and die. I struggled for the first month with muscle pain so severe I couldn't move. After that I struggled debilitating nausea. It got so bad that I hadn't eaten in over a month. On the rare occasion I would try the food would come right back up. Early last week it got so bad that I could no longer keep down Water. At this point I had been in the hospital 5 times for dehydration and different tests. I was taking protonix, Zofran, scopolamine Patches, Reglan, and I was wearing sea bands for motion sickness. None of these things could even take the edge off my nausea. My CT and my Upper GI were clear. My surgeons team kept telling me jit was all in my head. I was so severely depressed and felt like I had no where to go. I was beginning my surgeon for an EDG and she was refusing to give me one. After being unable to keep Water down for two days I went back to the ER and finally demanded I get the care I deserved. I was not going to leave there without answers. I was immediately admitted upon arrival where they found that my potassium levels were dangerously low. Lower than they have ever seen. I was given 6 bags of potassium and countless bags of Fluid to clear the dehydration. I also demanded the do the scope. The scope found slight narrowing that was able to be fixed on the spot. I don't know if it's the scope or the fluids, or potassium that cured me, but whatever it was I finally have my life back. I wake up ready to live every single day! I'm taking half the anti depressants I was before. I hated hated hated hated hated hearing people say it gets better. I was so convinced there was no way out for me. I would lay in bed waiting to die. But it got better. It got so much better. I am living breathing proof that it can all change. I encourage anyone struggling the way I did to advocate for themselves, the doctors and surgeons won't do it for you. I still can't say I would do this all over again, currently I am still too traumatized, but I have learned so much from this surgery. I had this surgery for myself and it was like I had forgotten that after surgery. I needed to still be fighting for myself. I know this is long but I just hope my story can help.

I just want to thank every one here for there support. As of Thursday evening my story has completely changed. I will post a copy on this topic.
I'm almost afraid to say it, but at the same time I feel like I need to go outside and shout it from the roof tops! I feel amazing! I am an entirely new person. These first two months from surgery have been the most trying time in my entire life. Most days I couldn't get out of bed, and I wanted nothing more than to lay there and die. I struggled for the first month with muscle pain so severe I couldn't move. After that I struggled debilitating nausea. It got so bad that I hadn't eaten in over a month. On the rare occasion I would try the food would come right back up. Early last week it got so bad that I could no longer keep down Water. At this point I had been in the hospital 5 times for dehydration and different tests. I was taking protonix, Zofran, scopolamine Patches, Reglan, and I was wearing sea bands for motion sickness. None of these things could even take the edge off my nausea. My CT and my Upper GI were clear. My surgeons team kept telling me jit was all in my head. I was so severely depressed and felt like I had no where to go. I was beginning my surgeon for an EDG and she was refusing to give me one. After being unable to keep Water down for two days I went back to the ER and finally demanded I get the care I deserved. I was not going to leave there without answers. I was immediately admitted upon arrival where they found that my potassium levels were dangerously low. Lower than they have ever seen. I was given 6 bags of potassium and countless bags of Fluid to clear the dehydration. I also demanded the do the scope. The scope found slight narrowing that was able to be fixed on the spot. I don't know if it's the scope or the fluids, or potassium that cured me, but whatever it was I finally have my life back. I wake up ready to live every single day! I'm taking half the anti depressants I was before. I hated hated hated hated hated hearing people say it gets better. I was so convinced there was no way out for me. I would lay in bed waiting to die. But it got better. It got so much better. I am living breathing proof that it can all change. I encourage anyone struggling the way I did to advocate for themselves, the doctors and surgeons won't do it for you. I still can't say I would do this all over again, currently I am still too traumatized, but I have learned so much from this surgery. I had this surgery for myself and it was like I had forgotten that after surgery. I needed to still be fighting for myself. I know this is long but I just hope my story can help.

I'm almost afraid to say it, but at the same time I feel like I need to go outside and shout it from the roof tops! I feel amazing! I am an entirely new person. These first two months from surgery have been the most trying time in my entire life. Most days I couldn't get out of bed, and I wanted nothing more than to lay there and die. I struggled for the first month with muscle pain so severe I couldn't move. After that I struggled debilitating nausea. It got so bad that I hadn't eaten in over a month. On the rare occasion I would try the food would come right back up. Early last week it got so bad that I could no longer keep down Water. At this point I had been in the hospital 5 times for dehydration and different tests. I was taking protonix, Zofran, scopolamine Patches, Reglan, and I was wearing sea bands for motion sickness. None of these things could even take the edge off my nausea. My CT and my Upper GI were clear. My surgeons team kept telling me jit was all in my head. I was so severely depressed and felt like I had no where to go. I was beginning my surgeon for an EDG and she was refusing to give me one. After being unable to keep water down for two days I went back to the ER and finally demanded I get the care I deserved. I was not going to leave there without answers. I was immediately admitted upon arrival where they found that my potassium levels were dangerously low. Lower than they have ever seen. I was given 6 bags of potassium and countless bags of Fluid to clear the dehydration. I also demanded the do the scope. The scope found slight narrowing that was able to be fixed on the spot. I don't know if it's the scope or the fluids, or potassium that cured me, but whatever it was I finally have my life back. I wake up ready to live every single day! I'm taking half the anti depressants I was before. I hated hated hated hated hated hearing people say it gets better. I was so convinced there was no way out for me. I would lay in bed waiting to die. But it got better. It got so much better. I am living breathing proof that it can all change. I encourage anyone struggling the way I did to advocate for themselves, the doctors and surgeons won't do it for you. I still can't say I would do this all over again, currently I am still too traumatized, but I have learned so much from this surgery. I had this surgery for myself and it was like I had forgotten that after surgery. I needed to still be fighting for myself. I know this is long but I just hope my story can help.

I just want to thank every one here for there support. As of Thursday evening my story has completely changed. I will post a copy on this topic.
I'm almost afraid to say it, but at the same time I feel like I need to go outside and shout it from the roof tops! I feel amazing! I am an entirely new person. These first two months from surgery have been the most trying time in my entire life. Most days I couldn't get out of bed, and I wanted nothing more than to lay there and die. I struggled for the first month with muscle pain so severe I couldn't move. After that I struggled debilitating nausea. It got so bad that I hadn't eaten in over a month. On the rare occasion I would try the food would come right back up. Early last week it got so bad that I could no longer keep down Water. At this point I had been in the hospital 5 times for dehydration and different tests. I was taking protonix, Zofran, scopolamine Patches, Reglan, and I was wearing sea bands for motion sickness. None of these things could even take the edge off my nausea. My CT and my Upper GI were clear. My surgeons team kept telling me jit was all in my head. I was so severely depressed and felt like I had no where to go. I was beginning my surgeon for an EDG and she was refusing to give me one. After being unable to keep Water down for two days I went back to the ER and finally demanded I get the care I deserved. I was not going to leave there without answers. I was immediately admitted upon arrival where they found that my potassium levels were dangerously low. Lower than they have ever seen. I was given 6 bags of potassium and countless bags of Fluid to clear the dehydration. I also demanded the do the scope. The scope found slight narrowing that was able to be fixed on the spot. I don't know if it's the scope or the fluids, or potassium that cured me, but whatever it was I finally have my life back. I wake up ready to live every single day! I'm taking half the anti depressants I was before. I hated hated hated hated hated hearing people say it gets better. I was so convinced there was no way out for me. I would lay in bed waiting to die. But it got better. It got so much better. I am living breathing proof that it can all change. I encourage anyone struggling the way I did to advocate for themselves, the doctors and surgeons won't do it for you. I still can't say I would do this all over again, currently I am still too traumatized, but I have learned so much from this surgery. I had this surgery for myself and it was like I had forgotten that after surgery. I needed to still be fighting for myself. I know this is long but I just hope my story can help.

I just want to thank every one here for there support. As of Thursday evening my story has completely changed. I will post a copy on this topic.
I'm almost afraid to say it, but at the same time I feel like I need to go outside and shout it from the roof tops! I feel amazing! I am an entirely new person. These first two months from surgery have been the most trying time in my entire life. Most days I couldn't get out of bed, and I wanted nothing more than to lay there and die. I struggled for the first month with muscle pain so severe I couldn't move. After that I struggled debilitating nausea. It got so bad that I hadn't eaten in over a month. On the rare occasion I would try the food would come right back up. Early last week it got so bad that I could no longer keep down Water. At this point I had been in the hospital 5 times for dehydration and different tests. I was taking protonix, Zofran, scopolamine Patches, Reglan, and I was wearing sea bands for motion sickness. None of these things could even take the edge off my nausea. My CT and my Upper GI were clear. My surgeons team kept telling me jit was all in my head. I was so severely depressed and felt like I had no where to go. I was beginning my surgeon for an EDG and she was refusing to give me one. After being unable to keep Water down for two days I went back to the ER and finally demanded I get the care I deserved. I was not going to leave there without answers. I was immediately admitted upon arrival where they found that my potassium levels were dangerously low. Lower than they have ever seen. I was given 6 bags of potassium and countless bags of Fluid to clear the dehydration. I also demanded the do the scope. The scope found slight narrowing that was able to be fixed on the spot. I don't know if it's the scope or the fluids, or potassium that cured me, but whatever it was I finally have my life back. I wake up ready to live every single day! I'm taking half the anti depressants I was before. I hated hated hated hated hated hearing people say it gets better. I was so convinced there was no way out for me. I would lay in bed waiting to die. But it got better. It got so much better. I am living breathing proof that it can all change. I encourage anyone struggling the way I did to advocate for themselves, the doctors and surgeons won't do it for you. I still can't say I would do this all over again, currently I am still too traumatized, but I have learned so much from this surgery. I had this surgery for myself and it was like I had forgotten that after surgery. I needed to still be fighting for myself. I know this is long but I just hope my story can help.

My expectations for the amount of weight I will lose, or how fast I will lost it have never been unrealistic. I didn't get fat overnight and I know I won't get healthy overnight either. My expectations for how I would feel after surgery where apparently completely off! I am 12 days post op and I have yet to be happy about my surgery. I went into this journey thinking my pain after surgery would be minimal, and that my desire for pizza, Bagels, and brownie batter would just disappear. Why? I have no idea. It sounds really stupid when I say it. I just saw all these people posting on forums about all their success right out of the gate and thought, wow this is great. To make matters worse I have watched three of my family members have the surgery and struggle. My grandmother had serious complications and almost died. My aunt had a blockage and a lot of issues with scar tissue. My mom had pneumonia and ended up back in the hospital. Yet, despite seeing there struggles I thought this was going to be a piece of cake recovery. I have struggled with the pain since day 1. Still now I can hardly walk because it feels like my left side is physically tearing open and it burns like no ones business. I also had a pretty bad allergic reaction to the steri strips. All of my incisions are swollen like golf balls and red and itchy. In addition to my pain I still struggle with my desire for food. I even desire foods I never would have wanted before. I am guilty of licking a French fry and nibbling a cookie. They weren't even satisfying. food was a hobby for me as well as my fiancé. Of course he is one of those people who can eat What he wants and not gain weight. I find myself struggling because I am stuck in bed and I'm bored and all that does is make me want to eat, because eating is something to do. I thought having the surgery would cure my food cravings for the fear of getting sick, but I was so wrong! My head was not in the right place before surgery, my expectations where way off. I think it's important to share these struggles because more times than not the things we read are about success. Everyone would rather share their success than their struggles. No one likes admitting they nibbled a cookie or licked a French fry, it makes us feel weak. I also think people struggle to share these things because of the backlash. I have read people sharing that they messed up and that they just want to get back on track and then people comment things like, "SMH, I can't believe you would risk ruining your tool." It saddens me to see that even with the overwhelming support from others, there are some out there who have had the surgery and feel that their success gives them the right to bash people for their mistakes. I have asked myself daily why I couldn't just do this the easy way, diet and exercise. Why did I have to put myself through this pain. Of course everyone out there who hasn't had surgery considers surgery the easy way, but it really is the hardest thing to do to yourself, for yourself. Before writing this I had a moment where I felt good about my decision. I saw a picture of my 16 year old cousin in a bathing suit, she in no way has the perfect body but she is healthy and gorgeous. I thought about how this temporary pain will allow me to be healthy like her someday and I smiled for the first time since surgery. I am not at a point where I would encourage people to have surgery, but I in no way would ever want to discourage someone from having it. I have struggled with depression and very high anxiety for a long time. My depression is well managed by medication, and my anxiety although medicated has always still been a huge battle. I don't see a psychologist and I know I should. Before my surgery I did the bare minimum required to be approved, including one visit with the psychologist for bariatrics. My biggest advice to anyone who wants or needs surgery is to really commit to therapy first. My biggest mistake was not taking the time to do that for myself. I have the hugest support system. Most people don't have nearly the amount of people helping them physically and mentally that I do. Despite all this support therapy is still necessary. First thing tomorrow morning I am calling to get myself the psychological help I need for this journey. It's a disservice to myself not too. It's hard to not have unrealistic expectations seeing the stories of other people, but we are all individuals and we are all different. To all those currently struggling with me and all those who struggle in the future I hope you find your way as I am slowly doing. I know what it feels like to be alone regardless of the support around you.
I did not require a preop diet. Highest weight and surgery weight was 277. Current weight 12 days post op is 255.

My expectations for the amount of weight I will lose, or how fast I will lost it have never been unrealistic. I didn't get fat overnight and I know I won't get healthy overnight either. My expectations for how I would feel after surgery where apparently completely off! I am 12 days post op and I have yet to be happy about my surgery. I went into this journey thinking my pain after surgery would be minimal, and that my desire for pizza, Bagels, and brownie batter would just disappear. Why? I have no idea. It sounds really stupid when I say it. I just saw all these people posting on forums about all their success right out of the gate and thought, wow this is great. To make matters worse I have watched three of my family members have the surgery and struggle. My grandmother had serious complications and almost died. My aunt had a blockage and a lot of issues with scar tissue. My mom had pneumonia and ended up back in the hospital. Yet, despite seeing there struggles I thought this was going to be a piece of cake recovery. I have struggled with the pain since day 1. Still now I can hardly walk because it feels like my left side is physically tearing open and it burns like no ones business. I also had a pretty bad allergic reaction to the steri strips. All of my incisions are swollen like golf balls and red and itchy. In addition to my pain I still struggle with my desire for food. I even desire foods I never would have wanted before. I am guilty of licking a French fry and nibbling a cookie. They weren't even satisfying. food was a hobby for me as well as my fiancé. Of course he is one of those people who can eat What he wants and not gain weight. I find myself struggling because I am stuck in bed and I'm bored and all that does is make me want to eat, because eating is something to do. I thought having the surgery would cure my food cravings for the fear of getting sick, but I was so wrong! My head was not in the right place before surgery, my expectations where way off. I think it's important to share these struggles because more times than not the things we read are about success. Everyone would rather share their success than their struggles. No one likes admitting they nibbled a cookie or licked a French fry, it makes us feel weak. I also think people struggle to share these things because of the backlash. I have read people sharing that they messed up and that they just want to get back on track and then people comment things like, "SMH, I can't believe you would risk ruining your tool." It saddens me to see that even with the overwhelming support from others, there are some out there who have had the surgery and feel that their success gives them the right to bash people for their mistakes. I have asked myself daily why I couldn't just do this the easy way, diet and exercise. Why did I have to put myself through this pain. Of course everyone out there who hasn't had surgery considers surgery the easy way, but it really is the hardest thing to do to yourself, for yourself. Before writing this I had a moment where I felt good about my decision. I saw a picture of my 16 year old cousin in a bathing suit, she in no way has the perfect body but she is healthy and gorgeous. I thought about how this temporary pain will allow me to be healthy like her someday and I smiled for the first time since surgery. I am not at a point where I would encourage people to have surgery, but I in no way would ever want to discourage someone from having it. I have struggled with depression and very high anxiety for a long time. My depression is well managed by medication, and my anxiety although medicated has always still been a huge battle. I don't see a psychologist and I know I should. Before my surgery I did the bare minimum required to be approved, including one visit with the psychologist for bariatrics. My biggest advice to anyone who wants or needs surgery is to really commit to therapy first. My biggest mistake was not taking the time to do that for myself. I have the hugest support system. Most people don't have nearly the amount of people helping them physically and mentally that I do. Despite all this support therapy is still necessary. First thing tomorrow morning I am calling to get myself the psychological help I need for this journey. It's a disservice to myself not too. It's hard to not have unrealistic expectations seeing the stories of other people, but we are all individuals and we are all different. To all those currently struggling with me and all those who struggle in the future I hope you find your way as I am slowly doing. I know what it feels like to be alone regardless of the support around you.
I did not require a preop diet. Highest weight and surgery weight was 277. Current weight 12 days post op is 255.

My expectations for the amount of weight I will lose, or how fast I will lost it have never been unrealistic. I didn't get fat overnight and I know I won't get healthy overnight either. My expectations for how I would feel after surgery where apparently completely off! I am 12 days post op and I have yet to be happy about my surgery. I went into this journey thinking my pain after surgery would be minimal, and that my desire for pizza, Bagels, and brownie batter would just disappear. Why? I have no idea. It sounds really stupid when I say it. I just saw all these people posting on forums about all their success right out of the gate and thought, wow this is great. To make matters worse I have watched three of my family members have the surgery and struggle. My grandmother had serious complications and almost died. My aunt had a blockage and a lot of issues with scar tissue. My mom had pneumonia and ended up back in the hospital. Yet, despite seeing there struggles I thought this was going to be a piece of cake recovery. I have struggled with the pain since day 1. Still now I can hardly walk because it feels like my left side is physically tearing open and it burns like no ones business. I also had a pretty bad allergic reaction to the steri strips. All of my incisions are swollen like golf balls and red and itchy. In addition to my pain I still struggle with my desire for food. I even desire foods I never would have wanted before. I am guilty of licking a French fry and nibbling a cookie. They weren't even satisfying. food was a hobby for me as well as my fiancé. Of course he is one of those people who can eat What he wants and not gain weight. I find myself struggling because I am stuck in bed and I'm bored and all that does is make me want to eat, because eating is something to do. I thought having the surgery would cure my food cravings for the fear of getting sick, but I was so wrong! My head was not in the right place before surgery, my expectations where way off. I think it's important to share these struggles because more times than not the things we read are about success. Everyone would rather share their success than their struggles. No one likes admitting they nibbled a cookie or licked a French fry, it makes us feel weak. I also think people struggle to share these things because of the backlash. I have read people sharing that they messed up and that they just want to get back on track and then people comment things like, "SMH, I can't believe you would risk ruining your tool." It saddens me to see that even with the overwhelming support from others, there are some out there who have had the surgery and feel that their success gives them the right to bash people for their mistakes. I have asked myself daily why I couldn't just do this the easy way, diet and exercise. Why did I have to put myself through this pain. Of course everyone out there who hasn't had surgery considers surgery the easy way, but it really is the hardest thing to do to yourself, for yourself. Before writing this I had a moment where I felt good about my decision. I saw a picture of my 16 year old cousin in a bathing suit, she in no way has the perfect body but she is healthy and gorgeous. I thought about how this temporary pain will allow me to be healthy like her someday and I smiled for the first time since surgery. I am not at a point where I would encourage people to have surgery, but I in no way would ever want to discourage someone from having it. I have struggled with depression and very high anxiety for a long time. My depression is well managed by medication, and my anxiety although medicated has always still been a huge battle. I don't see a psychologist and I know I should. Before my surgery I did the bare minimum required to be approved, including one visit with the psychologist for bariatrics. My biggest advice to anyone who wants or needs surgery is to really commit to therapy first. My biggest mistake was not taking the time to do that for myself. I have the hugest support system. Most people don't have nearly the amount of people helping them physically and mentally that I do. Despite all this support therapy is still necessary. First thing tomorrow morning I am calling to get myself the psychological help I need for this journey. It's a disservice to myself not too. It's hard to not have unrealistic expectations seeing the stories of other people, but we are all individuals and we are all different. To all those currently struggling with me and all those who struggle in the future I hope you find your way as I am slowly doing. I know what it feels like to be alone regardless of the support around you.
I did not require a preop diet. Highest weight and surgery weight was 277. Current weight 12 days post op is 255.

My expectations for the amount of weight I will lose, or how fast I will lost it have never been unrealistic. I didn't get fat overnight and I know I won't get healthy overnight either. My expectations for how I would feel after surgery where apparently completely off! I am 12 days post op and I have yet to be happy about my surgery. I went into this journey thinking my pain after surgery would be minimal, and that my desire for pizza, Bagels, and brownie batter would just disappear. Why? I have no idea. It sounds really stupid when I say it. I just saw all these people posting on forums about all their success right out of the gate and thought, wow this is great. To make matters worse I have watched three of my family members have the surgery and struggle. My grandmother had serious complications and almost died. My aunt had a blockage and a lot of issues with scar tissue. My mom had pneumonia and ended up back in the hospital. Yet, despite seeing there struggles I thought this was going to be a piece of cake recovery. I have struggled with the pain since day 1. Still now I can hardly walk because it feels like my left side is physically tearing open and it burns like no ones business. I also had a pretty bad allergic reaction to the steri strips. All of my incisions are swollen like golf balls and red and itchy. In addition to my pain I still struggle with my desire for food. I even desire foods I never would have wanted before. I am guilty of licking a French fry and nibbling a cookie. They weren't even satisfying. food was a hobby for me as well as my fiancé. Of course he is one of those people who can eat What he wants and not gain weight. I find myself struggling because I am stuck in bed and I'm bored and all that does is make me want to eat, because eating is something to do. I thought having the surgery would cure my food cravings for the fear of getting sick, but I was so wrong! My head was not in the right place before surgery, my expectations where way off. I think it's important to share these struggles because more times than not the things we read are about success. Everyone would rather share their success than their struggles. No one likes admitting they nibbled a cookie or licked a French fry, it makes us feel weak. I also think people struggle to share these things because of the backlash. I have read people sharing that they messed up and that they just want to get back on track and then people comment things like, "SMH, I can't believe you would risk ruining your tool." It saddens me to see that even with the overwhelming support from others, there are some out there who have had the surgery and feel that their success gives them the right to bash people for their mistakes. I have asked myself daily why I couldn't just do this the easy way, diet and exercise. Why did I have to put myself through this pain. Of course everyone out there who hasn't had surgery considers surgery the easy way, but it really is the hardest thing to do to yourself, for yourself. Before writing this I had a moment where I felt good about my decision. I saw a picture of my 16 year old cousin in a bathing suit, she in no way has the perfect body but she is healthy and gorgeous. I thought about how this temporary pain will allow me to be healthy like her someday and I smiled for the first time since surgery. I am not at a point where I would encourage people to have surgery, but I in no way would ever want to discourage someone from having it. I have struggled with depression and very high anxiety for a long time. My depression is well managed by medication, and my anxiety although medicated has always still been a huge battle. I don't see a psychologist and I know I should. Before my surgery I did the bare minimum required to be approved, including one visit with the psychologist for bariatrics. My biggest advice to anyone who wants or needs surgery is to really commit to therapy first. My biggest mistake was not taking the time to do that for myself. I have the hugest support system. Most people don't have nearly the amount of people helping them physically and mentally that I do. Despite all this support therapy is still necessary. First thing tomorrow morning I am calling to get myself the psychological help I need for this journey. It's a disservice to myself not too. It's hard to not have unrealistic expectations seeing the stories of other people, but we are all individuals and we are all different. To all those currently struggling with me and all those who struggle in the future I hope you find your way as I am slowly doing. I know what it feels like to be alone regardless of the support around you.
I did not require a preop diet. Highest weight and surgery weight was 277. Current weight 12 days post op is 255.

My expectations for the amount of weight I will lose, or how fast I will lost it have never been unrealistic. I didn't get fat overnight and I know I won't get healthy overnight either. My expectations for how I would feel after surgery where apparently completely off! I am 12 days post op and I have yet to be happy about my surgery. I went into this journey thinking my pain after surgery would be minimal, and that my desire for pizza, Bagels, and brownie batter would just disappear. Why? I have no idea. It sounds really stupid when I say it. I just saw all these people posting on forums about all their success right out of the gate and thought, wow this is great. To make matters worse I have watched three of my family members have the surgery and struggle. My grandmother had serious complications and almost died. My aunt had a blockage and a lot of issues with scar tissue. My mom had pneumonia and ended up back in the hospital. Yet, despite seeing there struggles I thought this was going to be a piece of cake recovery. I have struggled with the pain since day 1. Still now I can hardly walk because it feels like my left side is physically tearing open and it burns like no ones business. I also had a pretty bad allergic reaction to the steri strips. All of my incisions are swollen like golf balls and red and itchy. In addition to my pain I still struggle with my desire for food. I even desire foods I never would have wanted before. I am guilty of licking a French fry and nibbling a cookie. They weren't even satisfying. food was a hobby for me as well as my fiancé. Of course he is one of those people who can eat What he wants and not gain weight. I find myself struggling because I am stuck in bed and I'm bored and all that does is make me want to eat, because eating is something to do. I thought having the surgery would cure my food cravings for the fear of getting sick, but I was so wrong! My head was not in the right place before surgery, my expectations where way off. I think it's important to share these struggles because more times than not the things we read are about success. Everyone would rather share their success than their struggles. No one likes admitting they nibbled a cookie or licked a French fry, it makes us feel weak. I also think people struggle to share these things because of the backlash. I have read people sharing that they messed up and that they just want to get back on track and then people comment things like, "SMH, I can't believe you would risk ruining your tool." It saddens me to see that even with the overwhelming support from others, there are some out there who have had the surgery and feel that their success gives them the right to bash people for their mistakes. I have asked myself daily why I couldn't just do this the easy way, diet and exercise. Why did I have to put myself through this pain. Of course everyone out there who hasn't had surgery considers surgery the easy way, but it really is the hardest thing to do to yourself, for yourself. Before writing this I had a moment where I felt good about my decision. I saw a picture of my 16 year old cousin in a bathing suit, she in no way has the perfect body but she is healthy and gorgeous. I thought about how this temporary pain will allow me to be healthy like her someday and I smiled for the first time since surgery. I am not at a point where I would encourage people to have surgery, but I in no way would ever want to discourage someone from having it. I have struggled with depression and very high anxiety for a long time. My depression is well managed by medication, and my anxiety although medicated has always still been a huge battle. I don't see a psychologist and I know I should. Before my surgery I did the bare minimum required to be approved, including one visit with the psychologist for bariatrics. My biggest advice to anyone who wants or needs surgery is to really commit to therapy first. My biggest mistake was not taking the time to do that for myself. I have the hugest support system. Most people don't have nearly the amount of people helping them physically and mentally that I do. Despite all this support therapy is still necessary. First thing tomorrow morning I am calling to get myself the psychological help I need for this journey. It's a disservice to myself not too. It's hard to not have unrealistic expectations seeing the stories of other people, but we are all individuals and we are all different. To all those currently struggling with me and all those who struggle in the future I hope you find your way as I am slowly doing. I know what it feels like to be alone regardless of the support around you.
I did not require a preop diet. Highest weight and surgery weight was 277. Current weight 12 days post op is 255.

My expectations for the amount of weight I will lose, or how fast I will lost it have never been unrealistic. I didn't get fat overnight and I know I won't get healthy overnight either. My expectations for how I would feel after surgery where apparently completely off! I am 12 days post op and I have yet to be happy about my surgery. I went into this journey thinking my pain after surgery would be minimal, and that my desire for pizza, Bagels, and brownie batter would just disappear. Why? I have no idea. It sounds really stupid when I say it. I just saw all these people posting on forums about all their success right out of the gate and thought, wow this is great. To make matters worse I have watched three of my family members have the surgery and struggle. My grandmother had serious complications and almost died. My aunt had a blockage and a lot of issues with scar tissue. My mom had pneumonia and ended up back in the hospital. Yet, despite seeing there struggles I thought this was going to be a piece of cake recovery. I have struggled with the pain since day 1. Still now I can hardly walk because it feels like my left side is physically tearing open and it burns like no ones business. I also had a pretty bad allergic reaction to the steri strips. All of my incisions are swollen like golf balls and red and itchy. In addition to my pain I still struggle with my desire for food. I even desire foods I never would have wanted before. I am guilty of licking a French fry and nibbling a cookie. They weren't even satisfying. food was a hobby for me as well as my fiancé. Of course he is one of those people who can eat What he wants and not gain weight. I find myself struggling because I am stuck in bed and I'm bored and all that does is make me want to eat, because eating is something to do. I thought having the surgery would cure my food cravings for the fear of getting sick, but I was so wrong! My head was not in the right place before surgery, my expectations where way off. I think it's important to share these struggles because more times than not the things we read are about success. Everyone would rather share their success than their struggles. No one likes admitting they nibbled a cookie or licked a French fry, it makes us feel weak. I also think people struggle to share these things because of the backlash. I have read people sharing that they messed up and that they just want to get back on track and then people comment things like, "SMH, I can't believe you would risk ruining your tool." It saddens me to see that even with the overwhelming support from others, there are some out there who have had the surgery and feel that their success gives them the right to bash people for their mistakes. I have asked myself daily why I couldn't just do this the easy way, diet and exercise. Why did I have to put myself through this pain. Of course everyone out there who hasn't had surgery considers surgery the easy way, but it really is the hardest thing to do to yourself, for yourself. Before writing this I had a moment where I felt good about my decision. I saw a picture of my 16 year old cousin in a bathing suit, she in no way has the perfect body but she is healthy and gorgeous. I thought about how this temporary pain will allow me to be healthy like her someday and I smiled for the first time since surgery. I am not at a point where I would encourage people to have surgery, but I in no way would ever want to discourage someone from having it. I have struggled with depression and very high anxiety for a long time. My depression is well managed by medication, and my anxiety although medicated has always still been a huge battle. I don't see a psychologist and I know I should. Before my surgery I did the bare minimum required to be approved, including one visit with the psychologist for bariatrics. My biggest advice to anyone who wants or needs surgery is to really commit to therapy first. My biggest mistake was not taking the time to do that for myself. I have the hugest support system. Most people don't have nearly the amount of people helping them physically and mentally that I do. Despite all this support therapy is still necessary. First thing tomorrow morning I am calling to get myself the psychological help I need for this journey. It's a disservice to myself not too. It's hard to not have unrealistic expectations seeing the stories of other people, but we are all individuals and we are all different. To all those currently struggling with me and all those who struggle in the future I hope you find your way as I am slowly doing. I know what it feels like to be alone regardless of the support around you.
I did not require a preop diet. Highest weight and surgery weight was 277. Current weight 12 days post op is 255.

My expectations for the amount of weight I will lose, or how fast I will lost it have never been unrealistic. I didn't get fat overnight and I know I won't get healthy overnight either. My expectations for how I would feel after surgery where apparently completely off! I am 12 days post op and I have yet to be happy about my surgery. I went into this journey thinking my pain after surgery would be minimal, and that my desire for pizza, Bagels, and brownie batter would just disappear. Why? I have no idea. It sounds really stupid when I say it. I just saw all these people posting on forums about all their success right out of the gate and thought, wow this is great. To make matters worse I have watched three of my family members have the surgery and struggle. My grandmother had serious complications and almost died. My aunt had a blockage and a lot of issues with scar tissue. My mom had pneumonia and ended up back in the hospital. Yet, despite seeing there struggles I thought this was going to be a piece of cake recovery. I have struggled with the pain since day 1. Still now I can hardly walk because it feels like my left side is physically tearing open and it burns like no ones business. I also had a pretty bad allergic reaction to the steri strips. All of my incisions are swollen like golf balls and red and itchy. In addition to my pain I still struggle with my desire for food. I even desire foods I never would have wanted before. I am guilty of licking a French fry and nibbling a cookie. They weren't even satisfying. food was a hobby for me as well as my fiancé. Of course he is one of those people who can eat What he wants and not gain weight. I find myself struggling because I am stuck in bed and I'm bored and all that does is make me want to eat, because eating is something to do. I thought having the surgery would cure my food cravings for the fear of getting sick, but I was so wrong! My head was not in the right place before surgery, my expectations where way off. I think it's important to share these struggles because more times than not the things we read are about success. Everyone would rather share their success than their struggles. No one likes admitting they nibbled a cookie or licked a French fry, it makes us feel weak. I also think people struggle to share these things because of the backlash. I have read people sharing that they messed up and that they just want to get back on track and then people comment things like, "SMH, I can't believe you would risk ruining your tool." It saddens me to see that even with the overwhelming support from others, there are some out there who have had the surgery and feel that their success gives them the right to bash people for their mistakes. I have asked myself daily why I couldn't just do this the easy way, diet and exercise. Why did I have to put myself through this pain. Of course everyone out there who hasn't had surgery considers surgery the easy way, but it really is the hardest thing to do to yourself, for yourself. Before writing this I had a moment where I felt good about my decision. I saw a picture of my 16 year old cousin in a bathing suit, she in no way has the perfect body but she is healthy and gorgeous. I thought about how this temporary pain will allow me to be healthy like her someday and I smiled for the first time since surgery. I am not at a point where I would encourage people to have surgery, but I in no way would ever want to discourage someone from having it. I have struggled with depression and very high anxiety for a long time. My depression is well managed by medication, and my anxiety although medicated has always still been a huge battle. I don't see a psychologist and I know I should. Before my surgery I did the bare minimum required to be approved, including one visit with the psychologist for bariatrics. My biggest advice to anyone who wants or needs surgery is to really commit to therapy first. My biggest mistake was not taking the time to do that for myself. I have the hugest support system. Most people don't have nearly the amount of people helping them physically and mentally that I do. Despite all this support therapy is still necessary. First thing tomorrow morning I am calling to get myself the psychological help I need for this journey. It's a disservice to myself not too. It's hard to not have unrealistic expectations seeing the stories of other people, but we are all individuals and we are all different. To all those currently struggling with me and all those who struggle in the future I hope you find your way as I am slowly doing. I know what it feels like to be alone regardless of the support around you.
I did not require a preop diet. Highest weight and surgery weight was 277. Current weight 12 days post op is 255.

My expectations for the amount of weight I will lose, or how fast I will lost it have never been unrealistic. I didn't get fat overnight and I know I won't get healthy overnight either. My expectations for how I would feel after surgery where apparently completely off! I am 12 days post op and I have yet to be happy about my surgery. I went into this journey thinking my pain after surgery would be minimal, and that my desire for pizza, Bagels, and brownie batter would just disappear. Why? I have no idea. It sounds really stupid when I say it. I just saw all these people posting on forums about all their success right out of the gate and thought, wow this is great. To make matters worse I have watched three of my family members have the surgery and struggle. My grandmother had serious complications and almost died. My aunt had a blockage and a lot of issues with scar tissue. My mom had pneumonia and ended up back in the hospital. Yet, despite seeing there struggles I thought this was going to be a piece of cake recovery. I have struggled with the pain since day 1. Still now I can hardly walk because it feels like my left side is physically tearing open and it burns like no ones business. I also had a pretty bad allergic reaction to the steri strips. All of my incisions are swollen like golf balls and red and itchy. In addition to my pain I still struggle with my desire for food. I even desire foods I never would have wanted before. I am guilty of licking a French fry and nibbling a cookie. They weren't even satisfying. food was a hobby for me as well as my fiancé. Of course he is one of those people who can eat What he wants and not gain weight. I find myself struggling because I am stuck in bed and I'm bored and all that does is make me want to eat, because eating is something to do. I thought having the surgery would cure my food cravings for the fear of getting sick, but I was so wrong! My head was not in the right place before surgery, my expectations where way off. I think it's important to share these struggles because more times than not the things we read are about success. Everyone would rather share their success than their struggles. No one likes admitting they nibbled a cookie or licked a French fry, it makes us feel weak. I also think people struggle to share these things because of the backlash. I have read people sharing that they messed up and that they just want to get back on track and then people comment things like, "SMH, I can't believe you would risk ruining your tool." It saddens me to see that even with the overwhelming support from others, there are some out there who have had the surgery and feel that their success gives them the right to bash people for their mistakes. I have asked myself daily why I couldn't just do this the easy way, diet and exercise. Why did I have to put myself through this pain. Of course everyone out there who hasn't had surgery considers surgery the easy way, but it really is the hardest thing to do to yourself, for yourself. Before writing this I had a moment where I felt good about my decision. I saw a picture of my 16 year old cousin in a bathing suit, she in no way has the perfect body but she is healthy and gorgeous. I thought about how this temporary pain will allow me to be healthy like her someday and I smiled for the first time since surgery. I am not at a point where I would encourage people to have surgery, but I in no way would ever want to discourage someone from having it. I have struggled with depression and very high anxiety for a long time. My depression is well managed by medication, and my anxiety although medicated has always still been a huge battle. I don't see a psychologist and I know I should. Before my surgery I did the bare minimum required to be approved, including one visit with the psychologist for bariatrics. My biggest advice to anyone who wants or needs surgery is to really commit to therapy first. My biggest mistake was not taking the time to do that for myself. I have the hugest support system. Most people don't have nearly the amount of people helping them physically and mentally that I do. Despite all this support therapy is still necessary. First thing tomorrow morning I am calling to get myself the psychological help I need for this journey. It's a disservice to myself not too. It's hard to not have unrealistic expectations seeing the stories of other people, but we are all individuals and we are all different. To all those currently struggling with me and all those who struggle in the future I hope you find your way as I am slowly doing. I know what it feels like to be alone regardless of the support around you.
I did not require a preop diet. Highest weight and surgery weight was 277. Current weight 12 days post op is 255.

My expectations for the amount of weight I will lose, or how fast I will lost it have never been unrealistic. I didn't get fat overnight and I know I won't get healthy overnight either. My expectations for how I would feel after surgery where apparently completely off! I am 12 days post op and I have yet to be happy about my surgery. I went into this journey thinking my pain after surgery would be minimal, and that my desire for pizza, Bagels, and brownie batter would just disappear. Why? I have no idea. It sounds really stupid when I say it. I just saw all these people posting on forums about all their success right out of the gate and thought, wow this is great. To make matters worse I have watched three of my family members have the surgery and struggle. My grandmother had serious complications and almost died. My aunt had a blockage and a lot of issues with scar tissue. My mom had pneumonia and ended up back in the hospital. Yet, despite seeing there struggles I thought this was going to be a piece of cake recovery. I have struggled with the pain since day 1. Still now I can hardly walk because it feels like my left side is physically tearing open and it burns like no ones business. I also had a pretty bad allergic reaction to the steri strips. All of my incisions are swollen like golf balls and red and itchy. In addition to my pain I still struggle with my desire for food. I even desire foods I never would have wanted before. I am guilty of licking a French fry and nibbling a cookie. They weren't even satisfying. food was a hobby for me as well as my fiancé. Of course he is one of those people who can eat What he wants and not gain weight. I find myself struggling because I am stuck in bed and I'm bored and all that does is make me want to eat, because eating is something to do. I thought having the surgery would cure my food cravings for the fear of getting sick, but I was so wrong! My head was not in the right place before surgery, my expectations where way off. I think it's important to share these struggles because more times than not the things we read are about success. Everyone would rather share their success than their struggles. No one likes admitting they nibbled a cookie or licked a French fry, it makes us feel weak. I also think people struggle to share these things because of the backlash. I have read people sharing that they messed up and that they just want to get back on track and then people comment things like, "SMH, I can't believe you would risk ruining your tool." It saddens me to see that even with the overwhelming support from others, there are some out there who have had the surgery and feel that their success gives them the right to bash people for their mistakes. I have asked myself daily why I couldn't just do this the easy way, diet and exercise. Why did I have to put myself through this pain. Of course everyone out there who hasn't had surgery considers surgery the easy way, but it really is the hardest thing to do to yourself, for yourself. Before writing this I had a moment where I felt good about my decision. I saw a picture of my 16 year old cousin in a bathing suit, she in no way has the perfect body but she is healthy and gorgeous. I thought about how this temporary pain will allow me to be healthy like her someday and I smiled for the first time since surgery. I am not at a point where I would encourage people to have surgery, but I in no way would ever want to discourage someone from having it. I have struggled with depression and very high anxiety for a long time. My depression is well managed by medication, and my anxiety although medicated has always still been a huge battle. I don't see a psychologist and I know I should. Before my surgery I did the bare minimum required to be approved, including one visit with the psychologist for bariatrics. My biggest advice to anyone who wants or needs surgery is to really commit to therapy first. My biggest mistake was not taking the time to do that for myself. I have the hugest support system. Most people don't have nearly the amount of people helping them physically and mentally that I do. Despite all this support therapy is still necessary. First thing tomorrow morning I am calling to get myself the psychological help I need for this journey. It's a disservice to myself not too. It's hard to not have unrealistic expectations seeing the stories of other people, but we are all individuals and we are all different. To all those currently struggling with me and all those who struggle in the future I hope you find your way as I am slowly doing. I know what it feels like to be alone regardless of the support around you.
I did not require a preop diet. Highest weight and surgery weight was 277. Current weight 12 days post op is 255.

My expectations for the amount of weight I will lose, or how fast I will lost it have never been unrealistic. I didn't get fat overnight and I know I won't get healthy overnight either. My expectations for how I would feel after surgery where apparently completely off! I am 12 days post op and I have yet to be happy about my surgery. I went into this journey thinking my pain after surgery would be minimal, and that my desire for pizza, Bagels, and brownie batter would just disappear. Why? I have no idea. It sounds really stupid when I say it. I just saw all these people posting on forums about all their success right out of the gate and thought, wow this is great. To make matters worse I have watched three of my family members have the surgery and struggle. My grandmother had serious complications and almost died. My aunt had a blockage and a lot of issues with scar tissue. My mom had pneumonia and ended up back in the hospital. Yet, despite seeing there struggles I thought this was going to be a piece of cake recovery. I have struggled with the pain since day 1. Still now I can hardly walk because it feels like my left side is physically tearing open and it burns like no ones business. I also had a pretty bad allergic reaction to the steri strips. All of my incisions are swollen like golf balls and red and itchy. In addition to my pain I still struggle with my desire for food. I even desire foods I never would have wanted before. I am guilty of licking a French fry and nibbling a cookie. They weren't even satisfying. food was a hobby for me as well as my fiancé. Of course he is one of those people who can eat What he wants and not gain weight. I find myself struggling because I am stuck in bed and I'm bored and all that does is make me want to eat, because eating is something to do. I thought having the surgery would cure my food cravings for the fear of getting sick, but I was so wrong! My head was not in the right place before surgery, my expectations where way off. I think it's important to share these struggles because more times than not the things we read are about success. Everyone would rather share their success than their struggles. No one likes admitting they nibbled a cookie or licked a French fry, it makes us feel weak. I also think people struggle to share these things because of the backlash. I have read people sharing that they messed up and that they just want to get back on track and then people comment things like, "SMH, I can't believe you would risk ruining your tool." It saddens me to see that even with the overwhelming support from others, there are some out there who have had the surgery and feel that their success gives them the right to bash people for their mistakes. I have asked myself daily why I couldn't just do this the easy way, diet and exercise. Why did I have to put myself through this pain. Of course everyone out there who hasn't had surgery considers surgery the easy way, but it really is the hardest thing to do to yourself, for yourself. Before writing this I had a moment where I felt good about my decision. I saw a picture of my 16 year old cousin in a bathing suit, she in no way has the perfect body but she is healthy and gorgeous. I thought about how this temporary pain will allow me to be healthy like her someday and I smiled for the first time since surgery. I am not at a point where I would encourage people to have surgery, but I in no way would ever want to discourage someone from having it. I have struggled with depression and very high anxiety for a long time. My depression is well managed by medication, and my anxiety although medicated has always still been a huge battle. I don't see a psychologist and I know I should. Before my surgery I did the bare minimum required to be approved, including one visit with the psychologist for bariatrics. My biggest advice to anyone who wants or needs surgery is to really commit to therapy first. My biggest mistake was not taking the time to do that for myself. I have the hugest support system. Most people don't have nearly the amount of people helping them physically and mentally that I do. Despite all this support therapy is still necessary. First thing tomorrow morning I am calling to get myself the psychological help I need for this journey. It's a disservice to myself not too. It's hard to not have unrealistic expectations seeing the stories of other people, but we are all individuals and we are all different. To all those currently struggling with me and all those who struggle in the future I hope you find your way as I am slowly doing. I know what it feels like to be alone regardless of the support around you.
I did not require a preop diet. Highest weight and surgery weight was 277. Current weight 12 days post op is 255.

My expectations for the amount of weight I will lose, or how fast I will lost it have never been unrealistic. I didn't get fat overnight and I know I won't get healthy overnight either. My expectations for how I would feel after surgery where apparently completely off! I am 12 days post op and I have yet to be happy about my surgery. I went into this journey thinking my pain after surgery would be minimal, and that my desire for pizza, Bagels, and brownie batter would just disappear. Why? I have no idea. It sounds really stupid when I say it. I just saw all these people posting on forums about all their success right out of the gate and thought, wow this is great. To make matters worse I have watched three of my family members have the surgery and struggle. My grandmother had serious complications and almost died. My aunt had a blockage and a lot of issues with scar tissue. My mom had pneumonia and ended up back in the hospital. Yet, despite seeing there struggles I thought this was going to be a piece of cake recovery. I have struggled with the pain since day 1. Still now I can hardly walk because it feels like my left side is physically tearing open and it burns like no ones business. I also had a pretty bad allergic reaction to the steri strips. All of my incisions are swollen like golf balls and red and itchy. In addition to my pain I still struggle with my desire for food. I even desire foods I never would have wanted before. I am guilty of licking a French fry and nibbling a cookie. They weren't even satisfying. food was a hobby for me as well as my fiancé. Of course he is one of those people who can eat What he wants and not gain weight. I find myself struggling because I am stuck in bed and I'm bored and all that does is make me want to eat, because eating is something to do. I thought having the surgery would cure my food cravings for the fear of getting sick, but I was so wrong! My head was not in the right place before surgery, my expectations where way off. I think it's important to share these struggles because more times than not the things we read are about success. Everyone would rather share their success than their struggles. No one likes admitting they nibbled a cookie or licked a French fry, it makes us feel weak. I also think people struggle to share these things because of the backlash. I have read people sharing that they messed up and that they just want to get back on track and then people comment things like, "SMH, I can't believe you would risk ruining your tool." It saddens me to see that even with the overwhelming support from others, there are some out there who have had the surgery and feel that their success gives them the right to bash people for their mistakes. I have asked myself daily why I couldn't just do this the easy way, diet and exercise. Why did I have to put myself through this pain. Of course everyone out there who hasn't had surgery considers surgery the easy way, but it really is the hardest thing to do to yourself, for yourself. Before writing this I had a moment where I felt good about my decision. I saw a picture of my 16 year old cousin in a bathing suit, she in no way has the perfect body but she is healthy and gorgeous. I thought about how this temporary pain will allow me to be healthy like her someday and I smiled for the first time since surgery. I am not at a point where I would encourage people to have surgery, but I in no way would ever want to discourage someone from having it. I have struggled with depression and very high anxiety for a long time. My depression is well managed by medication, and my anxiety although medicated has always still been a huge battle. I don't see a psychologist and I know I should. Before my surgery I did the bare minimum required to be approved, including one visit with the psychologist for bariatrics. My biggest advice to anyone who wants or needs surgery is to really commit to therapy first. My biggest mistake was not taking the time to do that for myself. I have the hugest support system. Most people don't have nearly the amount of people helping them physically and mentally that I do. Despite all this support therapy is still necessary. First thing tomorrow morning I am calling to get myself the psychological help I need for this journey. It's a disservice to myself not too. It's hard to not have unrealistic expectations seeing the stories of other people, but we are all individuals and we are all different. To all those currently struggling with me and all those who struggle in the future I hope you find your way as I am slowly doing. I know what it feels like to be alone regardless of the support around you.
I did not require a preop diet. Highest weight and surgery weight was 277. Current weight 12 days post op is 255.

My expectations for the amount of weight I will lose, or how fast I will lost it have never been unrealistic. I didn't get fat overnight and I know I won't get healthy overnight either. My expectations for how I would feel after surgery where apparently completely off! I am 12 days post op and I have yet to be happy about my surgery. I went into this journey thinking my pain after surgery would be minimal, and that my desire for pizza, Bagels, and brownie batter would just disappear. Why? I have no idea. It sounds really stupid when I say it. I just saw all these people posting on forums about all their success right out of the gate and thought, wow this is great. To make matters worse I have watched three of my family members have the surgery and struggle. My grandmother had serious complications and almost died. My aunt had a blockage and a lot of issues with scar tissue. My mom had pneumonia and ended up back in the hospital. Yet, despite seeing there struggles I thought this was going to be a piece of cake recovery. I have struggled with the pain since day 1. Still now I can hardly walk because it feels like my left side is physically tearing open and it burns like no ones business. I also had a pretty bad allergic reaction to the steri strips. All of my incisions are swollen like golf balls and red and itchy. In addition to my pain I still struggle with my desire for food. I even desire foods I never would have wanted before. I am guilty of licking a French fry and nibbling a cookie. They weren't even satisfying. food was a hobby for me as well as my fiancé. Of course he is one of those people who can eat What he wants and not gain weight. I find myself struggling because I am stuck in bed and I'm bored and all that does is make me want to eat, because eating is something to do. I thought having the surgery would cure my food cravings for the fear of getting sick, but I was so wrong! My head was not in the right place before surgery, my expectations where way off. I think it's important to share these struggles because more times than not the things we read are about success. Everyone would rather share their success than their struggles. No one likes admitting they nibbled a cookie or licked a French fry, it makes us feel weak. I also think people struggle to share these things because of the backlash. I have read people sharing that they messed up and that they just want to get back on track and then people comment things like, "SMH, I can't believe you would risk ruining your tool." It saddens me to see that even with the overwhelming support from others, there are some out there who have had the surgery and feel that their success gives them the right to bash people for their mistakes. I have asked myself daily why I couldn't just do this the easy way, diet and exercise. Why did I have to put myself through this pain. Of course everyone out there who hasn't had surgery considers surgery the easy way, but it really is the hardest thing to do to yourself, for yourself. Before writing this I had a moment where I felt good about my decision. I saw a picture of my 16 year old cousin in a bathing suit, she in no way has the perfect body but she is healthy and gorgeous. I thought about how this temporary pain will allow me to be healthy like her someday and I smiled for the first time since surgery. I am not at a point where I would encourage people to have surgery, but I in no way would ever want to discourage someone from having it. I have struggled with depression and very high anxiety for a long time. My depression is well managed by medication, and my anxiety although medicated has always still been a huge battle. I don't see a psychologist and I know I should. Before my surgery I did the bare minimum required to be approved, including one visit with the psychologist for bariatrics. My biggest advice to anyone who wants or needs surgery is to really commit to therapy first. My biggest mistake was not taking the time to do that for myself. I have the hugest support system. Most people don't have nearly the amount of people helping them physically and mentally that I do. Despite all this support therapy is still necessary. First thing tomorrow morning I am calling to get myself the psychological help I need for this journey. It's a disservice to myself not too. It's hard to not have unrealistic expectations seeing the stories of other people, but we are all individuals and we are all different. To all those currently struggling with me and all those who struggle in the future I hope you find your way as I am slowly doing. I know what it feels like to be alone regardless of the support around you.
I did not require a preop diet. Highest weight and surgery weight was 277. Current weight 12 days post op is 255.