L.Harmony

My husband and I have been married 10 years. I was a size 16 when we met and when I had the surgery, I was a size 20. I am now a size 10.
We have always had a great marriage. His love language is expressed by taking care of me ( cooking, cleaning & grocery shopping). He is not very romantic. He tries when I complain but he usually reverts back. That has always been a bone of contention in our relationship.
Now, he is more romantic & pays attention to how I look, and I get more compliments. Don't get me wrong, he's far from a romantic, I doubt he ever will be, but he's definitely much better. I have to admit, since I've lost weight, I am also more flirtatious. I'm sure that helps
I suggest having a heart to heart with him & share your fears/concerns before the surgery and have him share how he feels.

P.S. today we went on a 4.5 mile nature walk in the cold snowy mountains. Not only was the walk a breeze (healthy , stronger body !) but before WLS it took 2 of us to get his wool hunting pants to button over my big tummy. Not a fun pictur, but he still loved me. Today, the same pants, over 2 prs of warm tights , were so big that they slid down on my hips., I looked like a dwarf in the circus ! Who needed a diaper change !! He called me a "hot mama " ..................but was even more impressed that I walked the distance and enjoyed it ! So, if your sweetie loves you now, imagine how much he'll love the new stronger healthier you !!

@@Cervidae, so perfectly said. Don't let your mind play games with you. If you know he loves you, he loves you for the person you are - not the body you live in.

Did my marriage change after WLS ? Yes and no. I was normal sized when we met ( 125 lbs) got married 5 yrs later , (143 lbs) and after our son , my weight slowly went up to 225. (Eeeek!) My hubby loves me through thick and thin, but yes he's much more attracted to me now that im normal weight again. But to me its not just about me looking more attractive, it's also because he sees (and brags !) about my exercise habits, and (fairly) healthy eating. I think im also happier , and that comes from within. So, I think being happier, healthier, stronger and fitter makes a person more attractive than the same person who is unhealthy and unhappy with themselves, no matter what their weight. Just my opinion, but there you have it.

I'm not married, but I have been dating the same person for about 4 years. We met online (playing World of Warcraft, funnily enough XD) and I was TERRIFIED to meet him in person for obvious reasons. He was dating me at my highest weight - over 400 pounds, and I've sort of always wondered, in some deep, dark, self-hating place, if he ever felt like he settled for me, or if he just "puts up with" my body because he loves me. Does he ever feel trapped or like it's worth not being attracted to me because of how much we love each other? I think it's really normal for people who have had to deal with the things we have had to deal with the fear these things. It's not easy, socially speaking, to be fat, especially for women. Intimacy can be like this giant monster we must fight every day. Since losing over a hundred pounds and gaining so much confidence, I've come to realize that this person who loves me and has cared for me through thick and thin (hahahah) would simply not be here if he didn't want to be. And when I lose another hundred pounds, if he starts showing more interest or attraction to me, I think I will be happy instead of hurt or offended, because he could have chosen to leave at any time based on my body, but he never did. A year ago, I would have been hurt and offended at the very thought of him being more attracted to my smaller form. But now I feel that while every version of us is still part of who we are, none of those versions define us as human beings. I don't think he's attracted to me when I'm throwing up, for example, but he still loves me and takes care of me because he wants to. In the end, that is what matters. Your body is just a meat suit that houses your soul, and a person who loves you will love all versions of you equally.

I had my surgery on Oct 28 and I'm also losing slowly. It's upsetting to me when I completely changed my life and it still feels like a major battle. I've been told to be patient with my body, my body is still healing and not to worry and give my body time to adjust to the change. I bet you have already heard this, but know that your not alone in the frustration.

I have not said anything on FB as of yet only some of my close family members know ..I want to suprise the rest of my family when I go to Michigan next year ..The people that know have been very supportive so far..

@@L.Harmony Welcome to our family of October surgery's were like one big family going through this together! As you can see we all have our ups & down's & support each other when we need it!!! Let us know how you are doing in your journey!

I told my immediate team and close friends at work. I'm not ashamed of it, but I didn't want to hear the stories from medical experts of someone they know who died, or had complications etc. When I return, I'll be happy to share why I was out! I am taking 5 weeks off.

RaDiva.RNY, I know exactly how you feel. I hope it gets easier. I wish more people were understanding of it.

I'm October 28 th

It gets better...I had the gastric bypass and the first week was really rough. I was a mess, questioning why I had the surgery, wanting to kill my boyfriend every time he cooked something. And the sad part is he was making things I normally wouldn't eat. He was really trying to be nice about it. But food is really everywhere. Stage 2 straight liquid, I have never been so happy to eat tomatoe Soup in my life. I hated stage 1 clear liquid. It gets better I swear. I'm on post op week three
I hope you end up feeling

I started writing it all down in a notebook. Every feeling and thought. Everything. Once it was down on paper I haven't looked at it. I figured I'll do that in a year. Since this is a decision I have to live with for the rest of my life. Just try writing it down, it can be very helpful. Sending positive thoughts your way.

I take liquid Tylenol. My surgery was on 11/5/15, and even though I have very little pain from the surgery, my period has decided to join the party so it was necessary. Before I bought the liquid Tylenol, I crushed 2 tablets and couldn't go it. The liquid comes with a pre-measured cup, but for some weird reason I find it daunting to take it from the cup, so I measure it with my actual tablespoon.

I'm October 28 th

Weight loss jars

I'm October 28 th

My doctor had a special diet but it was tho start 10 days before surgery. It was difficult but it can be helpful after surgery because you're ready to be on clear liquid and liquid stages.

Thank you for sharing that.

Weight loss jars

I started writing it all down in a notebook. Every feeling and thought. Everything. Once it was down on paper I haven't looked at it. I figured I'll do that in a year. Since this is a decision I have to live with for the rest of my life. Just try writing it down, it can be very helpful. Sending positive thoughts your way.

My doctor had a special diet but it was tho start 10 days before surgery. It was difficult but it can be helpful after surgery because you're ready to be on clear liquid and liquid stages.

Fingers crossed for you.

I hope everything works out, my surgery had a bunch of steps before they would even submit. So it's a good thing your at that stage. Fingers crossed everything works out.