MimiBMe

Some great questions lately. Pre op I had this notion that I would become more inclined to socialize and involve myself with people and things I normally avoided. After about 40 pounds were gone I found that I didn't want any new attention after all. Truthfully it was the emotional aspects that kept me from wanting to interact with others - either new friends or old. I hid out for the longest time other than going to work and taking care of my family. I looked at the ground everywhere I went pretending that if I couldn't see any people then surely they wouldn't see me either.
Then I started figuring this thing out. Now at nearly 70 pounds gone I don't really hide anymore and I have quite a bit of confidence in talking to people whether they are new or old acquaintances. I do it every day and some days I don't hate it.
What I have found is that while I thought I wanted to become a social, fun loving person, what I really wanted was the inner peace and serenity to be comfortable with my own company and that I needed to learn to love myself and treat myself well. I got that. The entire journey was well worth it and a blessing.
Funny how everyone's end result is quite different for various reasons but for the most part we all gained something very valuable. All from having the most of our stomach removed. Go figure.

That's a great post and terrific questions!
I've found just the opposite- I'm finding myself reconnecting with friends I've let go as I went into hiding the larger- and more depressed because of it- I got. My weight gain came over the course of nine years, with years 3-7 being the worst. I began "hiding".
This spring, after about a month after surgery, I came out of hiding. Friends were excited to see me! They missed me!!!! How happy I was, not only to pick up where we left off, but that I was finally feeling good. I was never a drinker, but most gatherings do revolve around great food. I ate before I went out, and didn't think twice. No one noticed I wasn't eating because we were too happy chatting.
It is certainly liberating to be out and about. Now, almost 10 weeks out, the difference in me is very noticeable, and when I see someone I haven't in a couple of years, usually it's accompanied by a "Lisa, you look great! Are you feeling better??" I've not opened up about my surgery. But they knew I was sick. I simply reply "thank you, yes, feeling much better and I'm finally off all the steroids. ".
My advice- surprise yourself with the people who were/are close to you. They will simply be happy you are feeling better, motivated, etc. and likely just accept the fact that you are THERE.

I am happy and proud to be 42! I've earned my stripes, my wrinkles, my lines and my new found health! I've never felt better than I do now - I can do so much more, I have more energy and I am truly happier now that I'm not over-burdened with the poor physical and emotional health being obese caused. I have been told that I look like I'm in my 20's again. And when I look at current photos of myself (because, I take them now!) I can see that spark of my true inner self shining through. WLS was the BEST decision I made for myself (aside from marrying my husband and having my children, of course!) and I'm so proud of myself for making the decision to focus on my health and happiness. I will never look back.
I hope and pray you also have the same exciting experiences on your journey.

Ahhh. What a day to read this post!!! Today I turned 49. And you know what??? I'm ecstatic!! And what's more- I'm looking FORWARD to 50!!!
The forties- while of course there were wonderful moments mostly related to my kids- simply sucked. Two months after turning 40- and being ok with it- I was diagnosed with a life altering chronic illness that disrupted not only my life, but the lives of all those around me, robbed me of my career, and led me down the path of morbid obesity.
As I sit here today, I'm in remission, had a life-changing surgery to REMOVE my obesity, am more active 10 weeks post op than I was in the last 9 years, and embracing EVERY DAMN SINGLE MINUTE of it!!!!
I see my face!!! ( Lol, and the now-visible lines!!!) Yesterday at my youngest middle school graduation people were coming to me in droves complimenting me on how wonderful I looked. Who would not love THAT!
I look forward to the second half of my life, and am blessed beyond belief with wonderful kids and family, and the tool that this bypass procedure has provided me.
God bless all.

Ok, here's another one....if you are fortunate enough not to have a disability...DO NOT PARK IN THE HANDICAPPED SPACES! DO NOT USE THE HANDICAPPED BATHROOM STALLS AND DO NOT USE THE HANDICAPPED SHOPPING CARTS! My daughter is disabled, after having 4 open heart surgeries in her short 24 years of life....she needs these things! If you use these and do not need them, you are an assf^ck.

Can we talk about people in crosswalks or who you allow to cross in front of you in parking lots?
Why the #^*%#* must they meander slowly, often looking down and texting, sometimes coming to a dead stop in the middle of the road to check their bag or phone, walking the slowest route In a long diagonal...
I let you pass in front of me. Knees to chests, b!tches!!!

On a similar note, those who get in their cars but don't actually pull out for-freaking-ever when they know someone is waiting for their spot. I swear it's on purpose.

US Presidential Election Year Rant:
I am so sick of having to listen to people who insist on spewing their political ideologies all over the damn place -- on Facebook, on line at cash registers, in doctors' waiting rooms, at work, on planes, at parties, at family reunions, etc.
Yes, I know it's their First Amendment right. But it's more than annoying being forced to listen politely to people loudly proclaim that everyone who doesn't adore and endorse their beloved candidate is an idiot / stupid / unpatriotic / immoral / uneducated / [insert here your favorite pejorative].

People! Specifically stupid, rude, self-absorbed people. Like those who run into other stupid, rude, self-absorbed people they know. Naturally they then decide to take over somewhere relatively confined (aisle, entrance, hallway, road, whatever) to exchange their stupidity while being rude to everyone around them because they're too self-absorbed to realize they're IN THE F*CKING WAY!!! Stop forcing everyone else to take an alternate aisle/walk around you/clear their throat/honk just so you can catch up with someone you probably just saw yesterday! Take it somewhere more appropriate, you a$$holes!

I hate when i'm inline at the checkout and people that are behind me are so close to me that they are breathing on my neck. ????????

I don't have that problem of almost cutting it off whilst shaving... i just throw each one over my shoulder... problem solved hehehe

These are cracking me up.
My rant for the day is people who don't know how a 4-way stop sign works. There's always the jerk whose life is just so much more important than the rest of us that he decides it's ok to just sneak through with the person in front of him.
And conversely, the sweet old lady I get stuck behind who decides to wave EVERYONE else through from all directions for like 3 cycles before going.
Whew, apparently I really needed to get that off my chest.

Oh, now you've got me going.

We can talk about dumbsh!ts who walk IN the exit door and out the enter door at Walmart. Presumably they can't read.
Or the mo-fos leave their carts in the check out line so the person behind them has to push it through in order to get up to the register.

And the idgits who let their pups poop in public places and don't pick it up. PICK IT UP!!!! Especially when it's in MY yard.

People on motorcycles who decide basic traffic rules do not apply to them. As in deciding that the dotted line separating lanes on the highway is really a motorcycle lane and drive on the dotted line at 100mph and then cut over in front of a car at the last second. (Please note I have a lot of friends who are bikers but they have the good sense to obey basic traffic conventions, I only have an issue with the idiots who don't)
And drivers who decide when traffic gets a little backed up that they are just going to drive on the shoulder for the next 5 miles and then cut over in front of another car at the last second when we come to an overpass/tunnel. Really people, I know you are in a hurry and want to get wherever you are going - so do the rest of us and we'd really rather not get in an accident because of your idiotic narcissistic moves.
Can you tell I had a horrible commute to work this morning?

When your in the grocery store and people leave the cart in the middle of the aisle so you can't pass with yours... How hard is it to pull your cart to the side so it allows people to pass????....
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"
Einstein

if the teenagers would just text me when they use the last bit of something I wouldn't have to turn into a raging madwoman when I discover the empty container still in the cupboard or fridge....................

Oh and can my other rant just be Candace Cameron Bure? Please go back to obscurity

People who don't turn off the volume on their cell phones when they are in a doctor's waiting room.
I don't want to listen to your phone conversation or your 50 text message notifications or your keyboard clicking or your Rolling Stones ring tone.

So glad you posted this. It's fascinating and pretty depressing at the same time. I have long suspected that losing weight TOO quickly or by creating too large a calorie deficit would wreck your metabolism. I see it here on these forums all the time. People post that they are gaining weight by eating 1100 calories a day and everyone assumes they are just lying or at the very least, inaccurately tracking their food. I suspect those people have genuinely, permanently altered their BMR.
I feel very lucky that my BMR still seems to be "normal" form someone my size. Not sure how true that would hold if I began to regain weight, but I don't intend to find out!

173

176
Thank you!

It seems difficult for some of you who post here to appreciate that others' circumstances are not the same as your own. Personalities vary. Spouses' needs and wishes vary. Values vary. There is no "right" for everyone. There is a best for each of us.

Sorry for the late post!
Weight for this week is 178.
Thanks

Count me in
SW: 180
GW: 169
Thank you Sarah

I'm currently in a similar situation. I'm also 25 years old and my best friend of 8 years doesn't support my decision to get the sleeve and has tried to discourage me and has even went as far as trying to sabotage my journey by using my food addiction. She's overweight as well, which makes sense as to why she's going to such great lengths and can't be fully happy for me.
My mom, who has been post op for 3 years, gave me some really good advice. Firstly, you're going to change because right now, you're not your best self. Secondly, this surgery can be an eye - opener. The friends you have at 300 lbs. may not be the friends you have at 140 lbs. It depends on what your friendship is built on. Most of my friendships are built around my food addiction and I didn't realize that until I started my journey. I didn't realize I was the "fat friend" or the "plus sized" friend people used to masquerade their insecurities or used to boost their self esteem. You're going to have to find a way to deal with the fact that your weight may be her security blanket. Thirdly, you don't need this stress before having surgery. Having elective surgery is stressful enough. You have made a life altering decision to have elective surgery, which isn't an easy decision. As I am learning, true friends are supportive even when they don't necessarily agree with your decisions. Maybe this is the perfect time to reevaluate your friendship and ask yourself "Is this a healthy friendship?" Your life is about to change for the better. You're taking steps to become your best self and you deserve to be around people that will Celebrate these things with you and will truly be happy for you. I hope I was able to help! Many blessings on your weight loss journey!
Love,
Gigi
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