judy1234

I have had a few really bad disasters, especially early on in my dive into online stuff.
A particular favorite story was a guy who looked great, sounded great, email exchange - he just seemed like a good fit. Can't explain why, but i just had a good feeling that this was someone I was going to want to keep seeing....
I was smart enough to just committ to meeting for a drink in spite of my optimism... but here is what happened...
He asks me to pick a place and so I suggested a "Tap house" in my town that serves lots of cool local beers and food. Well, right off the bat, it becomes apparent that the photo he posted was at least 10 years old, his job wasn't quite what he said and he was just plain odd. Second, he was clueless about beer - apparently preferred Coorslight to the microbrews. Then - he had weird tics. So, we get to talking and I am being polite and trying to think how to get out of this. I was starving, hadn't eaten and was visualizing exiting as soon as possible and getting myself some food. So, while I am planning my excape he says "are you hungry" - mouth engages before brain and I say "I am starving".... so then, I can't really decline his dinner request. Well, I should have declined, but I was too polite....
so, he picks the restaurant and I order a small appetizer that was a trio of seafood items. Turns out, he is deathly allergic to shellfish so he was completely freaked out about my shrimp etc. I offered to send it back, but he was like "no, it's okay as long as you keep it over there" - so I eat away and then asks about what all is on my plate. One of the items was Ahi served quite rare (as it should be) - and he says to me in a horrifed tone "You EAT RAW FISH?"
It was like a lightswitch flipped. He got over being nervous and tongue tied because he had clearly put me in the "no way pile" over my barbarian culinary tastes. Thank goodness.
The conversation got alot better as he told me all about OCD, how his dad had it, his brother is so afflicted he is basically non functional etc. We actually had a decent time and I learned alot about OCD and exterminators! So, I offered to split the bill but he wanted to pay it saying he had really enjoyed the dinner and liked that he could relax with me (not to mention my food was pretty small/cheap!).
So, about 8 months later, I decided to try "speed dating" and guess who shows up in the rotation! I recognized him immediately and asked him how his daughter and grandkid were doing etc etc. We kinda get caught up and then right before the next rotation he says to me "You are so much better looking then I remember, it must be because the lighting in here is so dim."
I supposed I should have been insulted, but I thought it was funnier then anything - given that he had not aged well, had severe ocd and worked as an Exterminator that was a showstopper for lots of people (which he hadn't originally been honest about). My reply to him was "so glad to see you haven't changed!" I was of course referring to his social skills.
I don't know if it is good or bad but the weirdo/broken people I have met since then were much much much better at disguising their "issues" in the beginning so i haven't had that kind of genuinely odd date since those early days.

Wow I've had A LOT of bad dates, but my worst of the worst was an online date back in the day(circa 1997 before I met my husband and got married). We were on our first date and this guy picked me up in a rust bucket car full of trash and I got my favorite skirt covered in car trash ooze of some sort. He had on a dirty looking shirt and jeans that look like they'd never been washed, but I thought maybe he planned to change so I decided to just roll with it. I had a old stale hamburger bun from some rotting meal on the floor board stuck in the high heels of my boots. He stopped for gas and bought himself a drink and didn't bother asking if I wanted anything. I just said "oh no thanks I'm not thirsty" when he got in and he tried to get me to share his and spilled it all down my new blouse and my fav already ruined by now skirt! I wanted to leave so bad, but he started telling me this hardship story and I felt bad so I kept trying to go with this even thought the sirens were going off "run! Run!!". He asked where I wanted to go and I guess it was not the right thing to say, because I said, "I could go just about anywhere. I'm pretty easy!" So he tried to take me to the pay by the hour motel on the highway where all the nasty people went to get it on. Right outside this God forsaken hellhole his car broke down. I was yelling at him because A) I didn't mean THAT easy and I'm from a small town and if anyone saw me, my reputation, and my life as I knew it were going to be over. Well, so the car is dead out in front of this place and he goes knocking on doors to hotel rooms trying to get a jump for the battery, but then tells me we need to move the car out of the street, but he couldn't push it because he had open heart surgery and he isn't suppose to even lift heavy things. He had already told me about this heart condition when we were talking online so ugh I knew if I didn't push it we weren't going anywhere. So here I am, high heeled boots covered in crap, a ruined skirt and blouse, way over dressed for how he showed up, pushing his piece of crap car into the motel de skank while he sat in the drivers seat steering. I was scared someone would see me out there as that was the only thing on that stretch of highway so if you were stopped there, they knew(or thought they knew)what you were doing! So eventually this guy got his piece of crap car started and I told him to take me home(not my home but thank god I didn't have him pick me up at my own house!). We got there and he actually had the audacity to ask for another date and I just looked blank at him and said "let's not" and walked away. It was one of the worst dates of my life and actually caused me to quit dating after that until I met my now husband(also online but because I forgot to take my profile down and his response to why I said I am no longer accepting dates online was adorable).

Maybe her husband's credit would have been better if he wasn't paying her $70+ bar/restaurant tabs all the time....

So I had been stalled out for over a month and with the help of my NUT we decided I needed to go completely no carb no starch. Just Protein only and some leafy greens. That was great and eventually that stall broke. Then I lost about 8lbs over 2wks and now I haven't lost anything for over a week! what is the deal! I cannot take anymore stalls!

Oh honey I share you pain. I have been at 218-220 for a month! A whole month! I am back at the basics and still nothing. I KNOW this is NOT where my body is bottoming out. Truth me told, I am going on a "diet" for the first time since surgery next week in hopes that it will kick start something in my body. I know this is not a sprint but a journey but come on- being at mile marker 220 for a month hasn't been a thrill.

I lose in stair-steps now and I'm pre-op. In fact, this is how my body has always taken weight off during any of the diets I have tried. It is normal - don't beat yourself up over it.
I know that I use a weight tracker at caloriecount.about.com - it has not only weight tracking but weight trending, and as long as the trend continues to go down or stays the same, then you are fine. Believe me, it's hard for that trend to go up - you have to actually gain. It might be worth checking out, if only to help you feel better about the process.
For an interesting take on it, look up something called 'The Hacker's Diet' on Google. There is a lot of interesting information there regarding input vs output, trending, etc.

I only have 500cal a day. Try to find a Healthy Protein powder . I use MRM or X-RATED . Tastes so good with only one carb and 18 / 25g Protein. Enjoy !
Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

I followed up with my NUT and gave her the example of what I am eating she said any Calcium (yogurt, 1-2oz soft cheese, milk ect) does not count as a meal and I can add Protein powder to it for my daily goal but I should have 3 servings of Calcium a day and as for my meals - it is normal that I can "hold" 4-5oz right now but she wants me to aim for 1-3oz instead bc my pouch is still healing. I have stopped eating as I was before & started doing only 1-3oz 1x a day and just Protein shakes the rest of the time.
Sent from my Z970 using the BariatricPal App

A 40 year old single mom was murdered and chopped up buy a guy she met online. They chatted for a month or more before meeting... and they had been on several dates/3 weeks into it before the incident happened. they went to the Marinars home opener game - so at least the date started out in public. According to everything I have read - she behaved in a reasonably prudent way in terms of length of time, going to public places etc.
I am on a couple of local ladies Facebook groups and there is a general freak out going on "I am never going to date again" type sentiments.
Of course what i know factually is you are much more likely to be murdered by someone you know - which is a disgusting fact in and of itself - but, it still casts a bit of a worrisome doubt.
As it applies to me, I very much trust the man I am seeing, I have met his friends, I know where he works etc. so I have no feeling that I should be afraid. However, that creeping anxiety remains.
Sometimes people in this world really suck.

OK...you do know that if they showed what 'real' people who eat all that crap look like, they wouldn't sell any of it, right? These kind of rants will dissipate once you see how good you look and feel. Then you won't care that these commercials don't show the reality of what eating that type of food actually does to you.

Let you in on a little secret...
Those burgers are held together with pins and other bits and bobs so the "perfect" pickle and cheese slice and all that stuff doesn't shift when the model bites into it. There is a TINY section of that burger where it is safe to bite into. If they miss, they get the #$@! jabbed out of their mouth. Sometimes there's blood.
And the burgers are usually cold since it is safer than trying to hold them at a warm temp (and keeps the lettuce and other veggies looking fresher).
And they have to do that take dozens times to get it right, so the model has to spit out the bite or else she'd get sick eating cold gross burger. So after each bite, there's a "cut" and then she spits chewed up food all over the place.
Still sound appetizing?
Where they just show the beautiful ice cream or something on a plate is even grosser. Check this link out: http://mentalfloss.com/article/30195/11-ways-advertisers-make-food-look-delicious
THERE IS GLUE, MOTOR OIL AND HAIRSPRAY ON THAT food. :D
If you understand how they make that stuff look amazing...

Prior to surgery I never noticed how much food porn there is on tv. It is absolutely ridiculous.
I record everything and buzz right on by.
You go ahead and rant all you want! You deserve it.

Stop watching TV. I just read that you should read instead ... No tempting commercials! :-)

I will warn you that this post is a shallow rant probably because I have a lot of time on my hands today. I've decided to stay home and rest since I've been so busy since getting out of the hospital from my surgery Friday and I'm seriously thinking of staying away from television for a while because all I keep seeing is these Carl's Jr. and Checkers commercials. Anyone that knows me knows that burgers are my favorite food and aside from soda probably is the main reason why I am obese. But what pisses me off is they keep showing these supermodels in these fast food commercials eating burgers the size of their pretty little heads (the burgers are not even that big in real life) and I'm not sure why but I find it ridiculous and absurd. Why can't they be truthful and show the real people who really love their burgers? People who love their burgers so much they gained over 100 pounds and have heart disease from eating them? I feel like people are being sold lies. Anyways end of rant.

It is important to take a good before photograph so you can compare it with your after photograph. Don't just rely on the photographs the surgeon's office take. Many of us do not really look at ourselves prior to surgery and it is hard to see the weight we have lost in the process. I have very few photographs of myself because I am the photographer in the family.

I also ate Popsicles sugar free for my post-op liquid diet.< /p>

I've been eating the Popscicles brand, the ones you see here. I've been able to find them at my local grocer as well as Walmart. They're right next to the regular ones, you just have to read them because the 'sugar free' label isn't exactly screaming at you.
They also sell a tropical variety, but I wasn't a huge fan of the flavors.

I had my yearly checkup last week and everything looked good in the office, but I didn't get my labs back til today and I am please to announce I do not have diabetes, high chloresterol, high triglycerides or any of that bad stuff! I could dance for joy! My only "problems" if you can call them that, is that my Iron is a little low and my B12 is a lot high. LOL so I have a message in to my NUT and waiting to see what she wants to do with that. But I am soooo excited to not have diabetes because my parents, my living siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and my grandparents when they were all alive had diabetes and I had gestational diabetes in my last pregnancy, so to walk out today with perfect health and perfect numbers was AMAZING! I am the first one in my family to almost reach 40(still got 9 more months) without having diabetes!!! It was the NSV of all NSV's! This surgery really has made my life better!

I can so relate to your post. As I was weighing myself yesterday, I was thinking about the feeling I had of "waiting for the other shoe to drop"..... that this weight loss couldn't be real and that the scale was going to start heading up-words again. Like it always has in the past! I think we all have that mindset/fear that this weight loss couldn't really be permanent and within our control. So, we hold on to our negative thoughts just in case it isn't. That's what we are used to and most familiar with. They have kept us company for YEARS!
A book that I have found very helpful is by one of the old-school cognitive therapists, David Burns. It's the "Feeling Good Handbook" and has a tool called "mood logs" to help you overcome these negative, basically untrue thoughts. It helps me realize that these are just thoughts that I am telling myself and not reality. I will also, at times, write down positive, true statements ( it's important that they are true and based on what's real for me) on an index card to carry with me in my pocket until I start to absorb them. I will pull the card out many times a day, read it and keep those positive thoughts in my mind.
I hope this is of some help. It's been a life saver for me and brings me such peace to know I am in charge of my thoughts.
You are doing GREAT!

My hubbyman and I both agree that her curves are lovely and healthy. After being a 22/24 for decades, I would love to have her body. And he and I discussed before my surgery about how far did I want to take this. I want to stop about where I am and he is on board with that. I don't need to be a dog bone to be happy and healthy.

Is Amy Schumer plus-sized? Does it matter?
What Amy Schumer should have said
http://www.cnn.com/2016/04/08/opinions/amy-schumer-glamour-wann/index.html

Yes!
I was the girl for many years that said "I never get cold and I am always hot!" And I was always hot. I live in Arizona and we don't get much of a winter but even when the temps would dip in the 40's I would keep a window open. Otherwise I would burn up under covers while trying to sleep, in the kitchen while cooking or even just lounging on the couch watching TV. I never understood people who wore slippers around the house or socks to bed.
Guess what? I put layers on while hanging out around the house, I put slippers on and wear socks to bed. I feel like I can never get warm enough!

As I was reading this, first I was like, well I'm totally #2, but then as I continued reading, nope, I'm #3. I do eat what I want to, except I don't want to eat crap, lol. I used to love sweets and now the sweetest thing I have is a skinny caramel macchiato and maybe some graham cracker goldfish. Part of the reason is that it tends make me queasy when I eat too much sugar, so that helps. I was never really big into Pasta, breads, or fried stuff so that wasn't really hard to stop eating. I don't drink, primarily because I work a lot and people frown on having their work done by a drunk/ hungover person. I don't tend to eat a lot of things that have been prepared elsewhere because it seems like everywhere has to put butter on or in stuff and if they don't use butter it's oil. Butter, oil, regular milk, eggs, and sometimes sugar are pretty much an instant puke, so while it took awhile to learn what I can and cannot eat, now I'm just not interested in the foods that make me sick. It was like being conditioned- like Pavlov's dogs- I see butter and my cheeks get that twingey-going-to-barf feeling.
So, while to be fair there isn't anything that I say I can't eat, I choose not to eat a lot of stuff because it either makes me sick or I don't want to gain weight and it isn't worth the gain. I think not having anything being off limits is what helps me. In the past I was always dieting with all or nothing, so when I slipped up and ate something bad, then it was like, well I messed up once, the streak is broken, chocolate cake for every meal! Now, if I want something that isn't healthy, I have it, and since there was no real denial or build-up, I'm fine not having it again for awhile. My mom sent me this awesome Easter basket full of candy I normally love and some Cookies. I poured it all into a gallon plastic bag and stuck it in my pantry for when I needed a sweets fix. It's been two weeks and I haven't had a single piece, whereas in the past it would have been forbidden so I would have had to eat it all and then go back to dieting afterward. Funny how our brains work when it comes to food...

Interesting topic for us "losers" to read, too! I aspire to become number 3 myself. It's never been my goal to be rail thin with <15% body fat... I want to be healthy AND happy. When I was thin in the past, I was kind of miserable because I subsisted on plain canned tuna, Diet Pepsi, and zero carb bread. I was skinny but my diet was bland and kind of awful.
My hope is that I'll be able to just eat like a normal person without wanting to shovel tons of food in my face.

Clearly #3. I don't abstain from anything and I don't track, but I definately have a mental checklist, an internal guidance on my eating habits. I also rely on Portion Control because I have been known to eat healthy foods and still be fat....