Squirrelgirl

I think having wls is a lifestyle . and with that, your other lifestyle has to change with it. Choices, good, bad, or indifferent, has to coisign with the new lifestyle. Moderation has always been the best for anything, and along with wls, it definite. Your choice to do wls is the same choice you make to drink or use. It shouldn't be an excuse because you work hard and that is your excuse to use. The big picture should be what you want for your life. And when you use, you lose a little of that life you are trying to change. I wish you good luck in your journey with positive choices to keep your new lifestyle healthy. ????
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I think having wls is a lifestyle . and with that, your other lifestyle has to change with it. Choices, good, bad, or indifferent, has to coisign with the new lifestyle. Moderation has always been the best for anything, and along with wls, it definite. Your choice to do wls is the same choice you make to drink or use. It shouldn't be an excuse because you work hard and that is your excuse to use. The big picture should be what you want for your life. And when you use, you lose a little of that life you are trying to change. I wish you good luck in your journey with positive choices to keep your new lifestyle healthy. ????
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I think having wls is a lifestyle . and with that, your other lifestyle has to change with it. Choices, good, bad, or indifferent, has to coisign with the new lifestyle. Moderation has always been the best for anything, and along with wls, it definite. Your choice to do wls is the same choice you make to drink or use. It shouldn't be an excuse because you work hard and that is your excuse to use. The big picture should be what you want for your life. And when you use, you lose a little of that life you are trying to change. I wish you good luck in your journey with positive choices to keep your new lifestyle healthy. ????
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I'm 10 months post, my nsv, I have to say, is I'm off my depression meds. I catch myself singing, I thank God everyday for my life, this is the best decision I've ever made for me.
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I'm 11 months post and have been stalled for a month. Like others, I'm sure it will start up again, I started at 380 and I'm at 255 for a 6 ft frame.. I'm looking to lose that last 50, then I can get my hernia and Tummy Tuck.
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I'm 11 months post and have been stalled for a month. Like others, I'm sure it will start up again, I started at 380 and I'm at 255 for a 6 ft frame.. I'm looking to lose that last 50, then I can get my hernia and Tummy Tuck.
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I'm 11 months post and have been stalled for a month. Like others, I'm sure it will start up again, I started at 380 and I'm at 255 for a 6 ft frame.. I'm looking to lose that last 50, then I can get my hernia and Tummy Tuck.
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I'm 10 months post, my nsv, I have to say, is I'm off my depression meds. I catch myself singing, I thank God everyday for my life, this is the best decision I've ever made for me.
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I'm 10 months post, my nsv, I have to say, is I'm off my depression meds. I catch myself singing, I thank God everyday for my life, this is the best decision I've ever made for me.
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I'm 10 months post, my nsv, I have to say, is I'm off my depression meds. I catch myself singing, I thank God everyday for my life, this is the best decision I've ever made for me.
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I'm 10 months post, my nsv, I have to say, is I'm off my depression meds. I catch myself singing, I thank God everyday for my life, this is the best decision I've ever made for me.
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I'm 10 months post, my nsv, I have to say, is I'm off my depression meds. I catch myself singing, I thank God everyday for my life, this is the best decision I've ever made for me.
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I'm 10 months post, my nsv, I have to say, is I'm off my depression meds. I catch myself singing, I thank God everyday for my life, this is the best decision I've ever made for me.
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I'm 10 months post, my nsv, I have to say, is I'm off my depression meds. I catch myself singing, I thank God everyday for my life, this is the best decision I've ever made for me.
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I'm 10 months post, my nsv, I have to say, is I'm off my depression meds. I catch myself singing, I thank God everyday for my life, this is the best decision I've ever made for me.
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I'm 10 months post, my nsv, I have to say, is I'm off my depression meds. I catch myself singing, I thank God everyday for my life, this is the best decision I've ever made for me.
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

Social life is vastly improved.
All aspects of life are vastly improved.
Cocktails and dinner are the perfect start to an awesome evening.

@@Lexigurl82
As a single person that has never been married but ends up dating divorced people...
Please work on yourself and become a whole person before dating. Get to know yourself, your likes and dislikes. Learn to love and value yourself not considering other people.
If you are confident and self assured you will attract people that value that, instead of people that want to diminish your shine.
Good luck, it is hard out here.

U pray! God can bring through places u never thought. Seek God, do all you can and let him do the rest. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using the BariatricPal App

@@Lexigurl82, I'm responding only to your opening note, not having read beyond that.
I'll be generous to your former husband and say only that he is and was less than honorable. Is a person of that caliber really what it takes to shatter your confidence and self-esteem? You went into the marriage thinking he was a good guy. He may have been, but people do change. To want to know the why's and how's of the decline of the marriage is unlikely to get the answers, in fact, they wouldn't feel good anyway. The longer you speculate, the longer you'll be going in circles rather than rebuilding yourself and your life.
It would be a mistake to judge all men by that one. There are plenty of truly honorable, worthwhile men in the forest. For now, though, it may be that you're not ready to think about dating. It's irrelevant that you filed in January. The divorce is what counts and it's only a month old. Take time to reacquaint with yourself as an individual in the world. Discover what's important to you now and what you want for yourself and your child. You can think of this time as giving birth to yourself. Date yourself, treat yourself well, with tenderness, compassion, love and respect. The men will be there later on.

I married two narcissistic men, wasted 10 years on each of them. When I think about the life I could have had, it makes me sad. However, it's also been part of what's molded me as a strong independent woman. Here's what I've learned in the process, FWIW. Take what works for you, leave the rest.
My self love and self esteem HAS to come from myself, not from my relationships.
As scary as it is, it really is better to be alone than to be in a crap relationship.
I need significant time (like a year or more) after a relationship ends to get the right perspective on it, and get back to who I really am, because good or bad, I do change when I'm in a relationship. If I don't get back to my normal before starting another, then it's really going to be messed up.
Alone doesn't have to mean lonely. There are people out there who will be my friends and chosen family. Not to mention my blood family. And if I want, I can even have physical relations without being in a relationship. (But I urge great caution with that one, I've only had 1, maybe 2 situations that truly worked out as friends with benefits and didn't get really messed up, and that's in 46 years of life (so a little under 30 years of dating) so the odds aren't good).
There *ARE* good men out there, and even a few that are perfectly right for me. The trick is to recognize them when they show up, because they aren't typically the ones that make my heart flutter at first sight. (That is actually a red flag, because it means I'm playing into my emotional baggage and picking the exact WRONG ones.) The right ones are the ones where the relationship gradually gets deeper and stronger as you get to know the person.
Very often, the right ones don't start showing up until I decide to quit looking for love and just enjoy my life.
And last but not least
Everything Will Be OKAY.

He did not reject you.... you are not the problem.....
HE cheated
HE Controlled
HE had the porn addiction
HE was abusive
HE decided to be disloyal
HE damaged your self esteem
HE chose to be with someone else
HE had family and friends keep this from you
HE did not respect you or your daughter
Stop blaming yourself, it is not rejection of you personally, it is a rejection of the idea of loyalty and commitment.

@@OutsideMatchInside
Always try clothing on. Your absolutely right. Clothing size mean nothing. just know some clothing may not fit your body type. Find what looks amazing for you. Its great when we have more options than lane bryant. Gives us an excuse to shop. I love it!. .
After I reached the point of Jr's clothing, I would go to the plus size parts of stores out of habit. i still looked at myself as a larger size.
Your sizes change so fast. It takes time for your body to settle into your new smaller package. I bought more expensive pieces once I reached goal.
I never had a size goal. I wanted to get off my c-pap and get healthy. once I hit maintenance it took time for my mind to adjust that I was a size 2 to a 4. (depending on the designer)
Enjoy Shopping!

She can say elective, but honestly , your doing a life change, and no one, boss, family whoever, should stop you. This is for YOU. You deserve this to make your life better. Don't let negative people get in your way. Congrats on getting there quickly! Blessing to you!
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App

I'm 10 months post, my nsv, I have to say, is I'm off my depression meds. I catch myself singing, I thank God everyday for my life, this is the best decision I've ever made for me.
Sent from my XT1575 using the BariatricPal App