KeepCalm

BTW - I just wanna point out that the orginal poster did not say or make a broad statement about abusing the band... she said her Surgeon did.
Anyhow, I revised because I stopped losing weight with the band - I was stuck at 270 for 8 years, I didn't gain any though. I did lose about 60 - 70lbs with it, and believe me I'm happy I started with it as the only other option I had back then was the gastric bypass... and I wasn't and am still not to thrilled with the idea of rerouting my internal organs. lopping part of one off though, obviously not that big of a deal to me. I need the restriction, I found that out during my brief 6 month stint of having no fill and sadly no willpower to say no to my wants. I've worked at saying no more often and learning to figure out the difference between mouth wants and stomach wants/needs. Its easier when your not running to the bathroom after every bite.

I hesitated to join this discussion because I have such conflicting feelings about weight now.
On the one hand, I have a lot of compassion for people who are hugely overweight. Science is finding that it's not a willpower issue, and as I've personally learned it's not anywhere near as easy to control weight as some people think (and I used to think). Even when I was heavy, I used to think it was just because I was failing and lacked the willpower to do the right things. Now I know how badly the deck is stacked against us.
I'm also a huge supporter of body positivity. Regardless of size or ability, people deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. There's no reason for anyone to receive substandard medical care because they're heavy, or be ridiculed by people in the street. Hating your body/self is counter productive to being healthy, and health should be the goal, not some ridiculous idea of what looks good that's pushed by media and photoshop. Being overweight does not automatically mean someone is unhealthy, just as being thin doesn't automatically mean someone is healthy.
That being said, there is a point where the weight interferes with movement and being able to care for oneself. As a nurse, I cannot consider that level of overweight to be anywhere near healthy, and this is one of the drawbacks I see to the body positivity movement. When I see someone who cannot move properly and maintain good hygiene because of the weight, I cannot help but wonder why they don't see that SOMETHING has to be done. Of course, drastic measures require access to medical care and many people in this country don't have it, so there's that. But I want so badly to channel Whoopie Goldberg's character from Ghost and grab them and say "you in danger, girl!!".
As for dating and relationships with people who are quite heavy... I am SO VERY GLAD to not be in the dating scene anymore. But if I were, I would not want to date someone who would jeopardize my health by constantly exposing me to unhealthy eating habits and sedentary pursuits. I'm doing all of this so I can get more active and be healthier, and would only be interested in spending time with someone who is also interested in healthy eating and activity. I don't think badly of people who aren't, but this has to become a big part of my life and factor into my serious relationships. It's more like if I were a recovering alcoholic, it would be a poor choice to get in a relationship with someone who drinks regularly. As it is, I'm lucky that my hubby wants to be more active, I'm actually the one who's dragging us down right now with my weight and chronic health issues. He'll go along with whatever I want to do.
I think ultimately we should seek out people with similar goals and priorities to ourselves, especially for romantic relationships. If one of our primary goals and highest priorities is our health, we should seek out people who feel the same and express that in their lives. Otherwise, our goals and priorities tend to change to meet those of the people we spend the most time with, and that can be detrimental to our health.

Before I even say this I know it's REALLY messed up so no one has to point it out to me.
I have the usually reaction to very obese, compassion, pity, sadness etc but if I look deep down I am very judgmental and also a little grossed out.
And, yes, I realize that people might view me the same way.

Well said @Odie.
There is too much butthurt around here.
This is a bariatric forum......a place where we've come....we've taken extreme measures to gain control over our health.
Some folks choose to keep their heads buried in the sand and simply want a warm blanket thrown on them. Let 'em stay there...heads buried....tide will come in and drown them at some point. I simply don't have the energy to help them any longer. Ignorance is a choice at this point. There is no way that somebody reaches the point where they reach the act of actually having wls and they don't know the basics. No way in hell. They've been briefed and they choose to ignore it.
The rest of us will do the work to reach our goals and live lean and happy. It's not always easy....but it's much easier since surgery.
I'm so tired of the childish butthurt that I see around here. Folks need to grow up and own up. Solutions have been provided if they'll simply own their actions.

There are so many nice, intelligent people contributing to these forums. Their information is on point, their insight invaluable!! I look for some of these people under all of the comments so that I can follow them for their remarks, advice and humour!!
THEN there are those people, mainly women I'm sorry to say, who take every remark, every answer, every comment that does not suit them and they turn the discussion into a battle!! They seem to feel that everything written is an attack on their sanity, their intellect or their standing in the world!! They go into attack mode with the slightest provocation and insist you leave their thread and their life!! I truly don't understand this kind of mentality and how people with such thin skin can function in the real world!!
It's so nice to a have a forum of like minded individuals, WLS/losing weight, where everything and anything can be discussed. Why ruin it with name calling, direct personal attacks and a militant stance?
Please remember now, this is MY RANT!!

Now that I think about it, I was taking the easy way out by controlling my high blood pressure with medication. Now I have done it the hard way by losing weight. Excellent.

My grandma had a saying. "Wish in one hand and poop in the other, and see which one fills up first." People have a remarkable resistance to educating themselves, while at the same time displaying another remarkable ability to sound off about stuff about which they know nothing. It affects people at all levels of society, regardless of station, education, or income. It would be nice if they would change, but they won't.
I have a couple of prepared replies for when I meet someone like this. I have yet to do so since I embarked on my WLS journey, but I have encountered them in the past. Anyone is free to use these or modify them as you see fit.
"Yes, I was fat and am working hard to lose my weight. You on the other hand seem determined to remain stupid for the rest of your life."
"You can think that if you want. It is not my responsibility to cure ignorance wherever I find it."
(This one is borrowed from a movie)
"If I am to be insulted, I must first value your opinion."
These are just a few examples of what I have ready to fire in defense of boorish behavior. I create others on the spot as the need arises. It is fun and satisfying, and every now and then a barb goes home and causes the other person to think. But I don't really count on that.

Just like people who fight over natural child birth vs. an epidural. Whatever - at the end you still have a baby. Other than that, it should be what works for the person.
I actually didn't have the surgery to lose weight. I can do that without surgery. What I have been unable to do in the past 15 years is KEEP IT OFF. When I tell people that, anyone who has ever dieted understands that struggle.
BUT, I do think it is a disservice to pitch WLS as a magic bullet, miracle cure. I hope doctors educate people that this is not the case because there is the same hard work to lose the weight as if you didn't have the surgery.

Exactly! When I was watching it I was hoping there wasn't somewhere out there thinking of WLS and then heard that and changed their mind. It is definitely frustrating the stigma WLS has, I don't see why it is a problem someone wants to get healthy. We as a society should be commending them and encouraging about it. We're so Obesed as Americans and there is a way to fix that, but because of the stigma around surgery we figure surgery isn't a viable option when in fact it is! So sad people think that way, and don't do research. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Right!! No one says let's go back to using leaches to cure illnesses, thought I bet they have about the same 5% success rate just by random chance. By that logic we should stop researching cures and do everything "the hard way". Those that best cancer or heart disease can be glorified and those that don't, just "didn't try hard enough". It's so hard to beat the stigma, even with so much research showing obesity is not about will power.
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This one drives me CRAZY. I bet hundreds if not thousands of people DIE every year because the social stigma against WLS deterred them from getting life-saving surgery.
First of all, we all know there is nothing "easy" about WLS. It's weeks/months of misery and recovery and takes a lifetime of commitment and hard work.
Second of all, even if WLS was "easier" than doing it the "hard way", why is that a bad thing? As a society, don't we strive for efficiency? They are always coming up with ways of making every aspect of life quicker and easier. So why is "easy" bad?
Thirdly, it really seems to be a double-standard when it comes to WLS versus other medically necessary surgery. You never hear anyone saying that getting a knee replacement is the "easy way out". "They should just walk it off and fight through the pain." So why is getting surgery to correct other medical issues okay, but WLS is not?

I want them to check back with those girls in 2 years and see if they kept it off. I hope for the girls' sake they did, but statistics say they won't. That's what the media doesn't get about weight loss. It's not about being able to lose it, it's about being able to keep it off. Frustrating.

When I saw this topic I could feel my blood pressure rise. LOL!
It irks me when I see or hear people say this, especially on TV or magazines. They have absolutely NO idea how hard we work to get healthy nor do they understand that obesity is a metabolic disease.
There is such a small percentage of people who are successful long term losing weight and ultimately keeping it off. I believe it is less than 5%.
Honestly, this is frustrating. The medical community outside of bariatric teams are somewhat clueless about it too. If only they would do better education maybe the public would understand that it is a metabolic disease and to cure it long term surgery is really the best option.
UGH......just adding to your rant. LOL!

Was just watching GMA (Good Morning America) they had two girls who lost a lot of weight and were half their size. I guess they're featured in People's Magazine because they had the editor on there and they asked why they choose those particular girls. Her response was because they lost weight the hard way no surgery no gimmicks. It really upset me to hear that because it feeds into the idea that surgery is the easy way to lose weight, but if only they knew the dedication and hard work we put in as well. I wish people would educate more before opening their mouths about anything. I don't know why it has to be a competition anyways as to who lost weight "naturally" and who got surgery. Either way you lost the weight, you're getting healthy, no way is better than the other. Okay rant over lol
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I think I'll keep my Channing Tatum <3

The TSA is probably on the way to your house right now to deal with this issue of double posting.

I'm getting TSA pre check before I fly next!

About seven years ago, our oldest daughter and her daughter were flying up to visit from Florida. She was running late, and grabbed a bag her husband was using as a range bag. She made it through security at the airport in FL, spent a week here, and then departed for home. At that point, all hell broke loose.
Apparently there was a loose 9mm round in the bag. They had missed it somehow at the first airport, but not at the second. The whole place came completely unglued. You would have thought she had a nuclear device in her pocket. She told me about the whole thing. She said, Daddy, it was awful. Some big fat sheriff kind of a guy was screaming at me about how he could have me arrested, so on and so forth".
She figured the only reason they let her go on her way was our little granddaughter was screaming like an air raid siren the entire time. They kept her bullet. She wanted to kill her husband for the trouble, but I kindly explained it was her fault for not checking the back completely, not his. That did not earn me any points.

@@LittleBill thanks for the info. I figured there had to be some sort of physical limitations of the metal that accounted for the lack of titanium weapons.
But TSA is kind of a joke sometimes. I got stopped and had to toss an unopened jar of homemade Amish jam in the trash (I was traveling with just a carry on so couldn't check it). And yet I went through with a full bottle of Vitamin Water once and a friend boarded a plane in Salt Lake City with a hunting knife in her backpack. She forgot it was even in there until her return flight in Minneapolis where they proclaimed "I don't think so!" When they saw it on X-ray.

I've had enough trouble with the TSA that I decided a while ago, if I have to fly there, I ain't going there. But a lot of that was because I fly armed - or as armed as I can legally be. I can regale people for an hour or more with TSA stories. One involved a pat down after I went through the metal detector with my belt on. Boy, did I get hollered at for that! You would have thought I was smuggling a CANNON on board!
Just as an aside, titanium guns are very difficult to make. Smith and Wesson made a few revolvers with titanium cylinders for a while, but the rest of the frame had to be aluminum, and the barrel had to be steel. Taurus made an all titanium revolver for a while, but it was prone to cracking. And that excluded the barrel, which was steel as well. So titanium guns would still show up, just like the "plastic" Glocks, which still have plenty of metal in them to make them work.

Can I just say this is fascinating and I really had no idea that excess skin or even the surgery itself could cause this? I flew to Hawaii 8 months post op, but didn't have an issue. My husband on the other hand, who had a bypass almost 11 years ago, gets pulled aside CONSTANTLY when he flies. I never really put two and two together?
What a great subject!

This is how I do the beach thing .....

@ When I was a kid, the closest we ever got to the seashore was the state park lake. They had trucked in a bunch of sand to make a large sandy area for people to sit or play along the edge of the swimming area. So we called it "The Beach".

I think I'll keep my Channing Tatum <3

You are right.....it is much easier when folks actually use a pic of themselves.