NthQldAus

Hi there. This is my first post here, but wanted to register because I was sleeved on June 16th, Everything has gone super-smoothly and despite starting to feel increasingly hungry (im a vegetarian too), I'm pretty pleased with the initial results.
I'm a 28yo male, with some spinal problems and two children with a third on the way, so decided to have the surgery to increase my personal health, and family life.
I started at 294lbs and now 3 weeks after op I'm sitting at 247lbs. Got a fair way still to go, but am starting to eat soft foods now so hope it continues to come off.

As a married man who has gone through the surgery, and because this forum appears to be mostly women, I feel like I should stick up for your feller just a little bit.
You have to remember that us men aren't mind readers. You have questions about your relationship - thats pretty normal - but by your own admission instead of sitting him down, treating him with some respect and plain out asking him, you're asking a web forum.
He obviously cares for you - otherwise you wouldn't be married in the first place. And I can guarentee that if you lose a lot of weight, some Mr.Darcey will try and get in your pants because single men after an easy-one-nighter always appear better than they are - But I say sod them. If you love him, fight for your marriage and be blunt with him. Talk to him.
If he wants nothing to do with it - then at least you gave him a fair chance and you need face-to-face discussions about councilling or a break up.
A relationship is a two way thing. Now, im not saying for one minute he's mr.perfect, or that i know anywhere near enough to make a judgement on either of you - but if your marriage fails, its because the marriage failed. Not just one of you failing.
I do wish you all the best with both your marriage, and your personal journey.

As a married man who has gone through the surgery, and because this forum appears to be mostly women, I feel like I should stick up for your feller just a little bit.
You have to remember that us men aren't mind readers. You have questions about your relationship - thats pretty normal - but by your own admission instead of sitting him down, treating him with some respect and plain out asking him, you're asking a web forum.
He obviously cares for you - otherwise you wouldn't be married in the first place. And I can guarentee that if you lose a lot of weight, some Mr.Darcey will try and get in your pants because single men after an easy-one-nighter always appear better than they are - But I say sod them. If you love him, fight for your marriage and be blunt with him. Talk to him.
If he wants nothing to do with it - then at least you gave him a fair chance and you need face-to-face discussions about councilling or a break up.
A relationship is a two way thing. Now, im not saying for one minute he's mr.perfect, or that i know anywhere near enough to make a judgement on either of you - but if your marriage fails, its because the marriage failed. Not just one of you failing.
I do wish you all the best with both your marriage, and your personal journey.

As a married man who has gone through the surgery, and because this forum appears to be mostly women, I feel like I should stick up for your feller just a little bit.
You have to remember that us men aren't mind readers. You have questions about your relationship - thats pretty normal - but by your own admission instead of sitting him down, treating him with some respect and plain out asking him, you're asking a web forum.
He obviously cares for you - otherwise you wouldn't be married in the first place. And I can guarentee that if you lose a lot of weight, some Mr.Darcey will try and get in your pants because single men after an easy-one-nighter always appear better than they are - But I say sod them. If you love him, fight for your marriage and be blunt with him. Talk to him.
If he wants nothing to do with it - then at least you gave him a fair chance and you need face-to-face discussions about councilling or a break up.
A relationship is a two way thing. Now, im not saying for one minute he's mr.perfect, or that i know anywhere near enough to make a judgement on either of you - but if your marriage fails, its because the marriage failed. Not just one of you failing.
I do wish you all the best with both your marriage, and your personal journey.

As a married man who has gone through the surgery, and because this forum appears to be mostly women, I feel like I should stick up for your feller just a little bit.
You have to remember that us men aren't mind readers. You have questions about your relationship - thats pretty normal - but by your own admission instead of sitting him down, treating him with some respect and plain out asking him, you're asking a web forum.
He obviously cares for you - otherwise you wouldn't be married in the first place. And I can guarentee that if you lose a lot of weight, some Mr.Darcey will try and get in your pants because single men after an easy-one-nighter always appear better than they are - But I say sod them. If you love him, fight for your marriage and be blunt with him. Talk to him.
If he wants nothing to do with it - then at least you gave him a fair chance and you need face-to-face discussions about councilling or a break up.
A relationship is a two way thing. Now, im not saying for one minute he's mr.perfect, or that i know anywhere near enough to make a judgement on either of you - but if your marriage fails, its because the marriage failed. Not just one of you failing.
I do wish you all the best with both your marriage, and your personal journey.

I am exactly 4 weeks post-op tomorrow, so I feel I may be a good person to answer your question;
My surgeon and dietition told me that the first 4/6 weeks post op is NOT about losing weight. It's a byproduct for sure, but your focus should be on recovering and getting your body READY for school again.
This is a marathon, a life long marathon. The first 4 weeks for me have been pretty good and easy going. I've had no major issues and lost a bit of weight - but it's going to get better from here on in because i've looked after myself, rather than trying to get short-term results.
EDIT - I forgot to add that I updated my profile with correct figures <<< over there. So 48lbs in 4 weeks.

Did he mention exactly what it is about you having surgery that effects him eating? Surely your happiness means more to him than his love of food?
It will always be difficult to educate those who do not wish to be educated. I reckon, and if you were my wife, I would respect you if you put your foot down, said ''Look, it's something I'm going to do for me. For us. If you don't want to be a part of it now, I won't pretend I'm not disappointed - but I'm going to do this. I need to do this. If you're not willing to get on board and learn the numerous benifits this will have on our lives, then thats ok. But in time, you'll come to realize this is a positive decision for us.''
If he shuns away after that, then so be it. It'll be far tougher going through this without his support - but it's by no means impossible. You can do it!

As a married man who has gone through the surgery, and because this forum appears to be mostly women, I feel like I should stick up for your feller just a little bit.
You have to remember that us men aren't mind readers. You have questions about your relationship - thats pretty normal - but by your own admission instead of sitting him down, treating him with some respect and plain out asking him, you're asking a web forum.
He obviously cares for you - otherwise you wouldn't be married in the first place. And I can guarentee that if you lose a lot of weight, some Mr.Darcey will try and get in your pants because single men after an easy-one-nighter always appear better than they are - But I say sod them. If you love him, fight for your marriage and be blunt with him. Talk to him.
If he wants nothing to do with it - then at least you gave him a fair chance and you need face-to-face discussions about councilling or a break up.
A relationship is a two way thing. Now, im not saying for one minute he's mr.perfect, or that i know anywhere near enough to make a judgement on either of you - but if your marriage fails, its because the marriage failed. Not just one of you failing.
I do wish you all the best with both your marriage, and your personal journey.

I'm one of those people who have chosen to NOT nominate a set weight.
When sleeved, I was a big boy...
BIG!!
So my aim is for functional, healthy, fit and active...
Also, with the addition of muscle mass and the huuuuuge 'apron' that will be around my formerly fat belly, a goal weight will be difficult to judge...
Oh ok, I'd like to be a fit, healthy, reasonably muscular 110kg (240-ish pounds)
There, I've said it!!!
I can dream can't I??

http://shop.coles.com.au/online/national/diet-rite-cordial-apple-raspberry-low-joule

thanks for replies everyone.

I really wouldn't worry about it. At all.
Don't lower your own polite standards, and if she's not willing to accept you, accept it and take the moral high ground. Be polite and nice to her. You're going out with her son, not her.
And besides just think, its you and your bf who'll decide what crappy care home she ends up in.... start planning

Thank you for giving me the male perspective. I talk to him all the time. I believe that communication is essential in working through this. I love my husband and would never hurt him. The issue is that he thinks that I am not taking his feelings into account but he is wrong. I thought about everything. He needs to take how my life is into account. It is for both of us even though he disagrees.

Thanks for all your helpful suggestions! "Running down the corridor" looking for my fat ass had me rolling with laughter, just imagining it. I am going to save that in my back pocket for Defcon 1 situations

I am exactly 4 weeks post-op tomorrow, so I feel I may be a good person to answer your question;
My surgeon and dietition told me that the first 4/6 weeks post op is NOT about losing weight. It's a byproduct for sure, but your focus should be on recovering and getting your body READY for school again.
This is a marathon, a life long marathon. The first 4 weeks for me have been pretty good and easy going. I've had no major issues and lost a bit of weight - but it's going to get better from here on in because i've looked after myself, rather than trying to get short-term results.
EDIT - I forgot to add that I updated my profile with correct figures <<< over there. So 48lbs in 4 weeks.

I'm a bloke, but a pretty 'nervously confident' sort of bloke... I deal with insecurities with inapropiate jokes and a false confidence.
So when people started giving me the 'omg, you look great - you've lost heaps of weight' - I just shouted ''Where is it? Fat arse, where are you?'' turned around and literally ran off down the corridoor.
Seemed to work - they didn't mention it again

As a married man who has gone through the surgery, and because this forum appears to be mostly women, I feel like I should stick up for your feller just a little bit.
You have to remember that us men aren't mind readers. You have questions about your relationship - thats pretty normal - but by your own admission instead of sitting him down, treating him with some respect and plain out asking him, you're asking a web forum.
He obviously cares for you - otherwise you wouldn't be married in the first place. And I can guarentee that if you lose a lot of weight, some Mr.Darcey will try and get in your pants because single men after an easy-one-nighter always appear better than they are - But I say sod them. If you love him, fight for your marriage and be blunt with him. Talk to him.
If he wants nothing to do with it - then at least you gave him a fair chance and you need face-to-face discussions about councilling or a break up.
A relationship is a two way thing. Now, im not saying for one minute he's mr.perfect, or that i know anywhere near enough to make a judgement on either of you - but if your marriage fails, its because the marriage failed. Not just one of you failing.
I do wish you all the best with both your marriage, and your personal journey.

I'm a bloke, but a pretty 'nervously confident' sort of bloke... I deal with insecurities with inapropiate jokes and a false confidence.
So when people started giving me the 'omg, you look great - you've lost heaps of weight' - I just shouted ''Where is it? Fat arse, where are you?'' turned around and literally ran off down the corridoor.
Seemed to work - they didn't mention it again

Sounds like you need to increase, or get a more active support group around you. Friends to come over and try take your mind off eating.
Another tip I read was whenever you feel hungry when you shouldn't go brush your teeth. The mint will give you a flavor to smell and taste, and ruin the taste of the food you were about to eat
I'm sorry to hear of your sons death and wish you and your family all the best.

I am exactly 4 weeks post-op tomorrow, so I feel I may be a good person to answer your question;
My surgeon and dietition told me that the first 4/6 weeks post op is NOT about losing weight. It's a byproduct for sure, but your focus should be on recovering and getting your body READY for school again.
This is a marathon, a life long marathon. The first 4 weeks for me have been pretty good and easy going. I've had no major issues and lost a bit of weight - but it's going to get better from here on in because i've looked after myself, rather than trying to get short-term results.
EDIT - I forgot to add that I updated my profile with correct figures <<< over there. So 48lbs in 4 weeks.

I really wouldn't worry about it. At all.
Don't lower your own polite standards, and if she's not willing to accept you, accept it and take the moral high ground. Be polite and nice to her. You're going out with her son, not her.
And besides just think, its you and your bf who'll decide what crappy care home she ends up in.... start planning

Don't be nervous. It'll all go fine, and you'll wake up wondering what all the fuss was about!
Realistically expect a few days of minor swelling - but it's really nothing to worry about
The fun really begins when you get home and clear Water diet .
Best of luck

Stop caring.
I know that sounds flip, but in the grand scheme of things, how does HER opinion of your decision and your weight loss journey really affect you unless you allow it to?
She might hurt your feelings, but she won't change your progress unless you allow her to. I try to cut negativity out of my life -- sounds like I'd not be too anxious to know her, personally.

I'm a bloke, but a pretty 'nervously confident' sort of bloke... I deal with insecurities with inapropiate jokes and a false confidence.
So when people started giving me the 'omg, you look great - you've lost heaps of weight' - I just shouted ''Where is it? Fat arse, where are you?'' turned around and literally ran off down the corridoor.
Seemed to work - they didn't mention it again

Hi there. This is my first post here, but wanted to register because I was sleeved on June 16th, Everything has gone super-smoothly and despite starting to feel increasingly hungry (im a vegetarian too), I'm pretty pleased with the initial results.
I'm a 28yo male, with some spinal problems and two children with a third on the way, so decided to have the surgery to increase my personal health, and family life.
I started at 294lbs and now 3 weeks after op I'm sitting at 247lbs. Got a fair way still to go, but am starting to eat soft foods now so hope it continues to come off.

Hi there. This is my first post here, but wanted to register because I was sleeved on June 16th, Everything has gone super-smoothly and despite starting to feel increasingly hungry (im a vegetarian too), I'm pretty pleased with the initial results.
I'm a 28yo male, with some spinal problems and two children with a third on the way, so decided to have the surgery to increase my personal health, and family life.
I started at 294lbs and now 3 weeks after op I'm sitting at 247lbs. Got a fair way still to go, but am starting to eat soft foods now so hope it continues to come off.