Remix

I feel like I'm carrying a hay bale. I have regained 30 of the 50 pounds I lost 2 years ago doing a medically supervised diet, aka Optifast. I stuck with it for 6 months, lost enough weight that I felt really good. I felt like I had the tools to continue on my own. I maintained for about a year, then I just gave up. I would eat crap and think, if I hit 200 pounds again, I'll buckle down. 200 came, then 207, then 212. I started panicking when I hit 217 and started Keto for 3 weeks and couldn't sustain it. Not without quicker results.
I contacted my weight loss doc and asked about WLS and was told without any comorbidities I didn't qualify with a BMI of 35. I would have to get bigger in order to have it done. What kind of crap is that?
I quit my job about a month later. After sitting around, gaining another 10 pounds, I decided I'd had enough. I know I can't do yo yo dieting forever and this is for my health. My future, my children's future. I can't afford to gain more, become diabetic, have heart disease, etc. It's enough. I'm done.

I was down to 153.9 on Monday!
The spreadsheet is updated... Please let me know if I forgot you or made a mistake.
For our Sept 28 weigh in, we lost 190.4 for the week! Awesome!
Also, we have had an EXTRAORDINARY amount of people hit onderland/twonderland this challenge. And a few more that are super close! Great job all!

Ive always been pretty honest with myself. I always knew I was a big guy. when I look in the mirror, or take a picture of myself. to me I always look like what I think in my head. its probably a mental thing.
In the past this certain thing has happened quite a few times. I'm at a convenience store standing in line waiting to pay for my goods and out of the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of the security monitor and I see this huge guy standing there and I think to myself "I'm big but I don't think I'm that big yet" then I look again and that guy is actually me. then I'm in a bad mood the rest of the day lol
The other day I was going to a different location for work. in this building there's a hall where the elevators are that all the walls and elevator doors are mirrors. I was walking to the elevator and I noticed this guy out of the corner of my eye and thought I should be that size soon. when I stopped and pushed the elevator button I realized that was me in the mirror. the reverse of what Ive experienced before! good mood the rest of the day :-)

147 today

There are a few things that really made me decide to have WLS. I am getting married in August 2016, and my fiance is British. We've been together for over seven years (I am 30) and lived together in the US for three. I was around 150lbs when we met and started dating. I was diagnosed with bipolar about a year into our relationship and my doctor perscribed a medication called Zyprexa, which is great for someone having a severe bipolar episode...but it is notorious for weight gain. I think I gained 5 pounds by simply filling the perscription! In my year taking it, I gained 100lbs with no change to my diet or exercise. I was very active...I played rugby and soccer, and I ate a low-carb and low-sugar diet. No matter what I did, the weight kept piling on until I visited my psychiatrist and told her I wanted to try something else because I was so incredibly depressed due to my weight gain. She swapped me to a new medication, but a lot of damage had already been done. The Zyprexa combined with some of the other medications I was taking essentially destroyed my metabolism, making it pretty impossible for me to lose weight no matter what diet and exercise plan I went on. Fortunately, I am now on medication that is weight-neutral, so I have not really gained anything more.
I could not play rugby or soccer any longer because all my excess weight made running EXTREMELY hard on my joints, and giving that up was incredibly painful for me. I still tried to lose weight on my own over the course of several years, but nothing helped, including physician-supervised metabolic weight loss.
I visited my fiance last May-June, and I could barely walk into town. Getting around London was an absolute nightmare. I started looking at WLS options on my own, but was far too afraid to actually go to a seminar or talk to my family about it.
This August, I went to the bridal shop to buy my wedding dress. They did carry larger sizes (I am an 18-20 at the moment) so I was able to try on quite a few. I found the PERFECT dress, and while my parents and the bridal consultant said I looked beautiful...all I could see was how overweight I was. I *did* look pretty in the dress, but when I stared at myself in the mirror, I kept thinking how much better I would look and feel if I was able to lose some of the weight.
A few days later, I mentioned the idea of WLS to my parents, who were very supportive of my decision. I was still very afraid because it is a pretty major surgery in my book, but a close friend of mine had the VSG a few weeks earlier and told me that it didn't hurt quite as badly as she thought it would, and she was recovering quickly. Not only that, but she was losing weight and feeling much, much better. I decided to look into it more seriously and attended a seminar...and I decided that it was the solution for me. I went into my surgeon's office for a height and weight check, and I qualified for WLS. After speaking to the program coordinator, I decided to go through with the surgery and made my first appointment.
I will be seeing Dr. Sebastien this Tuesday, and I am incredibly excited and nervous at the same time. I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I will finally be able to lose the weight so that I can get back to doing the things I enjoy as well as look great in my wedding pictures!
Sorry for this long winded diatribe...I haven't really shared whis with many people, and once I started writing, it just kind of flowed out.
xx,
Polara

LOL!
Have you been watching me??
You forgot:
Move the scale around the bathroom floor and weigh in different areas until you're satisfied with the CORRECT weight.

1. Must be first thing in the morning.
2. Must pee prior to weighing (poo-ing is jackpot bonus).
3. Remove all clothes, ponytails, jewelry.Cut fingernails if necessary.
4. Five jumping jacks here can't hurt.
5. Tip-toe lightly onto scale as this prevents a potentially upsetting overshooting of your actual weight.
6. Holding your finger against the wall, purely for balance is acceptable.
7. Exhale all air as you step onto scale as air might weigh something.
8. If things don't seem right, weigh yourself three more times to make sure your scale is working. Unless you are down then don't touch that scale again!

198 lbs. Yay! Onderland!

I'm 11 weeks out. For weeks 4-9 exercising like crazy. I hit a stall week 8 and figured it was muscle gain. I do a couch to 5K running app, lane swim, and kayak. I was working out 5-6 days each week but now that I'm stalled I'm slacking a little.
I know I need to add strength training too but I'm procrastinating on that.
Swimming is awesome because you don't sweat as much and it's easier on the joints, etc. But it's still an amazing workout.
Kayaking is an excellent arm workout and so so fun, plus the scenery is amazing. I'm sad to live in a place where I can't do it year round. The season has pretty much come to a close.

We are finally getting the cold fall weather here in Missouri. I've waited years to wear boots that would zip around my larger calves and now that I can I've been sporting them proudly. I've been shopping for all fall clothes and it's just amazing how different the experience has been from last fall. Last fall I was wearing a size 18 (snug) and this year I'm shopping for size 8 which opens up a lot of new options I never had before. My goal is to do as may fun fall inspired activities outside with the kids that I can. Thing I never did with them like apple picking, hay rides, corn mazes, visiting the pumpkin patch, fall festivals ect... I feel alive now. I'm excited to get out and live this fall as apposed to sitting in the house being unhealthy and sluggish. I love fall! Unlike summer I can dress to cover up the parts of my body I'm not thrilled with yet and not look like a crazy loon wearing long sleeves in the middle of summer This is going to be the best fall in all of EVER! Ha! So what are you looking forward to?

Men follow you around in the supermarket.
You buy a belt and your best friend shows you that your waist is the same size as her thigh.
People call you a "living doll"
Everyone keeps telling your the wind is going to blow you away
You have hip bones, collar bones...
Your butt get sore sitting down because there is no padding.
The girl at banana republic insists on getting you a size 0 so it fits right.
You can fit in the clothes in the little girls section.
You can easily touch your ankle to your butt.
You can sit in the back between your kids car seats.
The blood pressure cuff at the doctors office won't fit because it's too big.
Hahahaha. Yeah. Never thought I'd be this tiny but I do love it!!

I live in Hawaii, and there are people who are very large individuals. So it surprises me that there is still the judged looks or fat shaming.
My mom was at the GNC with me and she said she thought it was more of a "Oh, you're in here because you're making a change"... Rather than an insult. I think it's more that I am used to or rather expect the negativity
I got another though: I can't wait to actually LIVE in Hawaii - hiking, kayaking, paddle boarding, etc.)

Stand up doing weekly presentations at work without secretly hoping the 30 minutes goes by fast because my legs, back and feet are in pain from standing ..... Walking without my back pain and sciatica acting up ..... Walking more than a block without getting out of breath ..... Not fearing booths at restaurants or trying to be the 1st one to arrive to make sure we get a table ..... Flying without upgrading to 1st class since seats are 3 inches wider and asking for a belt extender (1st class is cheaper than 2 seats which most airlines will make us "passengers of size" purchase) ..... Being able to bend over to put on shoes or socks without tummy being in my way ..... Being able to walk up my stairs to carry groceries up without wanting to pass out from exhaustion ..... Wearing nicer clothes that fit instead of whatever we are stuck with in our size ..... Wearing cute jeans, I miss jeans ..... And boots, especially this time of year ..... Mostly, just being comfortable in my own skin, feeling healthy and having a better quality of life ..... There are plenty of other emotional reasons such as making ex's eat their heart out or making all the rude people on past who have made comments about my weight, but at the end of the day, my main goal is to be healthy, the rest are perks. And I can't wait !!!!!

When I first started this journey, I started making a list. I wanted to keep this list to keep me motivated. Initially, the list was in some sort of order, higher motivators on top. They are no longer in any sort of order. I WANT IT ALL!
Being able to walk and stand for longer periods of time without needing to rest/sit Fitting in a bathtub comfortably Going into a regular bathroom stall and being comfortable Being comfortable with bathroom hygiene (the bigger you are, the harder it is sometimes) Go into any store and finding clothes Fit in a restaurant booth Not pulling on bra straps all the time Having appropriate clothes for special events Feeling comfortable with what I’m wearing High School Reunion! (no need to explain!) Fitting behind the steering wheel Run a marathon (ok, maybe a 5K at first, ha) Swim with Dolphins (without worrying if the life jacket will fit) Ex’s!!!! (again, no need to explain) Wrapping the towel around me – and it fitting Doing shore excursions (I like to cruise, but I seldom get off the ship and explore the ports) Airplane seats – fitting in them without obsessively checking/changing my seat if someone is beside me – fearing that I will make someone uncomfortable Movie theater seats – fitting in them! No more chaffing Having energy Crossing legs Sitting in a seat without wondering if it will fall Riding a horse in the Water on the beach (don't want to torture the animal) Calf boots I'm sure there are more, this is just what I have in mind right now!

Jeans- I can't wait to wear cute jeans! I can't wait to shop anywhere I want. I can't wait to cross my legs. I can't wait to fit in the rides at amusement parks. I can't wait to run a 5k. I can't wait to be thinner than my physically gorgeous husband. I can't wait to have energy. I can't wait to sit in a chair without worrying if I will break it. I can't wait to wear tall boots. I can't wait to breathe while tying my tennis shoes. I can't wait to wear a swim suit. I love who I am on the inside. I know I am attractive. I m so ready not to feel shame about my weight anymore!!!

Wearing a bikini
Whitewater rafting
Zip lining
Stand up paddle boarding
Running a marathon

Someone suggested to me taking the Multivitamin right after eating. I tried that and haven't had any nausea since!! Made all the difference in the world. Give it a try! I hope it works for you too because I suffered through the daily nausea for months and I feel for you all. It's not fun

Walk around without feeling everyone is judging me
Run around with my kids
Cook with real food and actually enjoy it (as opposed to scarfing it down and not really tasting it)

For me it was running a 5k with my daughters. We did that, then I moved on to a half-marathon and marathon. Be careful what you wish for! haha

People gravitate to you because of your good looks rather than actual gravity due to your mass.

I'm surprised pizza Hut hasn't started putting up "missing" posters on me. I'm pretty sure I was responsible for at least a quarter of their net worth before surgery. ????

149

I'm 11 weeks out. For weeks 4-9 exercising like crazy. I hit a stall week 8 and figured it was muscle gain. I do a couch to 5K running app, lane swim, and kayak. I was working out 5-6 days each week but now that I'm stalled I'm slacking a little.
I know I need to add strength training too but I'm procrastinating on that.
Swimming is awesome because you don't sweat as much and it's easier on the joints, etc. But it's still an amazing workout.
Kayaking is an excellent arm workout and so so fun, plus the scenery is amazing. I'm sad to live in a place where I can't do it year round. The season has pretty much come to a close.

Just over 2 months out and I'm down 59 pounds