_Kate_

Back to work next Tuesday, only half days though which I am looking forward to.  I will be able to go home and sleep in the afternoons if needs be. or go shopping, maybe have my hair done or a pedicure...  Maybe more shopping or... a nap in between shopping.

Bring it on!

I am having an emotional day today. Been spending a lot of time thinking about what the Psychologist said about if I think my emotions are out of whack not to wait until the surgery... I am already so unkind... I hear it coming out of my mouth and just can't stop it... word vomit! I know how to apologize but it's not going to change anything...words have a way of sticking and still hurting...trust me, i know.

Some days I feel so overwhelmed and burdened, they have so many questions and I don't want to defend my choices. Other days I feel so alone. Nobody around me know how I feel and I am too damn tired to enlighten them.

I love me. Fat or thin won't make much difference...except I will be healthier and have a chance to live a longer life with my kiddos. I'm ashamed of how out of hand my weight has gotten...How ill losing my Mother has made me... when she died I sunk inside myself...doing only what I have to appease everyone and make them think I got it covered.

I'm doing this for me. I don't want to die in another 10 years like my mother. I don't want to abandon my kids that way. Plus I'm pretty freaking awesome... and I feel like I have more to give the world. It just messes me up, I feel so thin and beautiful until I pass a mirror or catch a glimpse of my reflection and then I don't even recognize myself. I have to change... I feel like I am trapped inside this fat suit being held hostage... it breaks my heart sometimes.

Believe in me...

(I'm trying to)

Takes me an hour to eat a greek yogurt and I haven't been sleeved yet. LOL 

Next Wed I have my 3rd NUT appt.  One left in April, then I'm done with all the perquisites! I'm so excited.

Almost there!!!.....

Went to a little cousin's bday party and ate terribly. Nothing healthy to eat. Now I know for sure I'll need to always have food on hand that I should and could eat. 

It's been an amazing ride for the last 5 months! On my surgery date, September 17, 2016, I weighed 260lbs. As of today, almost 5 months later, I am at 185. Down 75 glorious pounds! Only 40 or so more pounds to go!! I am such a cheerleader of wls! I feel that if there is a way to better your health, image and sanity, then go for it! 

Had my 2nd NUT appt yesterday; nothing new.  Just keep making changes.  Didn't lose anything; didn't expect to lose either; since focusing on muscle gain.  2 more NUT appts to go. Already cleared the psych eval and no other tests.  Time seems to fly once things are done; but seems so far away until the next appts. 

OMG I am thrilled! Happy Happy Dance! I just got approved for breast reduction and reconstruction nipple/areolar Surgery is March 21st.

OMG I am thrilled! Happy Happy Dance! I just got approved for breast reduction and reconstruction nipple/areolar Surgery is March 21st.

Status updates are back! 

You LOSE weight. You don't LOOSE weight. Almost everyone has a stall after the third week or so (and this will happen over and over again). You have to change your relationship with food to be successful in this journey long term. There. That ought to cover it...

Can I do it? Can I resist , will I be sick , will my hair fall out?

I DID IT! This former 497 pound 61 years old who has lost 280 pounds, but still can't walk biked 6 miles for the Loop for Literacy. Raised $310.00 for the Literacy Coalition of Palm Beach County. I won a cap for raising the money and a medal for crossing the finish line. My Team was in the top 10 for raising money. Thanks to all my friends who supported me both financially and emotionally. 1 1/2 years ago I never could have done it. IT SURE FELT GREAT! Look at my profile to find today's pictures.

I truly never, even in my wildest dreams, believed I could get to my goal weight. I truly never even had a glimmer of hope that I could one day have a healthy relationship with food, a healthy self-image, hope for my future. But here I am. How in the world did I get so incredibly, unbelievably lucky?

So, I log on most days to see what's going on. Perchance there might be a question/answer that I haven't seen yet. I'm not complaining, everything is informative, but a lot of it is redundant, simply because there are new people everyday and they're all getting started as I did too. I probably asked the same questions that has been answered over and over. I guess at this point (even though I'm not even post op) is to help with my new found knowledge of the gastric sleeve surgery. But it'll mostly be on the surface since I have yet to experience the surgery and post op life. Only then I'll be able to share in depth. Not sure why I wanted to share this, but I hope I can be of some assistance and that it will be sound advice, not advice made without educating myself first and sharing experiences. Ya'll have a great day!

Got my surgery date today! 2/22, I'm coming for you!!

Happy weekend everyone!!! So is anyone else here addicted to the Eagle nest live camera....I've been watching since the little baby hatched on 12/31 and can't stop!!! haha http://www.dickpritchettrealestate.com/eagle-feed.html#

NSV- wore my g-string tonight...no more granny panties!

I bought a size 18 dress last night, down from a 28!

Im off blood pressure tablets yeehhhawwww

Im off blood pressure tablets yeehhhawwww

I am now officially down over 160 pounds since March 21, 2016. Exciting! My mid-220s goal for Mardi Gras Day (February 28) now seems very do-able! Onward!

Beware the 'salt' grinders in Waitrose cafe ... #tinytransparenthandgrenades @cabin_pressure @RyanBlackburn88 https://t.co/OPyfCjLxTd

In less than 12 hours I will be in hospital having my skin surgery. I am having quite a bit done and will be in theatre for over 6 hours. Bags are packed, Dog has gone to stay with friends for a couple of weeks, house is clean from top to bottom. Hubster has a list of things to do during the week 1) Tell me I look great even when I don't lol 2) Repeat number 1. I am dreading it. Wish me luck!!

In less than 12 hours I will be in hospital having my skin surgery. I am having quite a bit done and will be in theatre for over 6 hours. Bags are packed, Dog has gone to stay with friends for a couple of weeks, house is clean from top to bottom. Hubster has a list of things to do during the week 1) Tell me I look great even when I don't lol 2) Repeat number 1. I am dreading it. Wish me luck!!