OutsideMatchInside

Today, during one of my pre-op psych evaluations, I heard a woman say “I just feel like once I start losing weight and start feeling so much better about my self- I will stop doing all the destructive things that got me here. Don’t you think?”
My response was “no I don’t agree.” I went on to explain that hers was a common assumption, a dangerous “magic-bullet” fantasy about what weight loss surgery can do.
Here’s why: The part of our brain that is responsible for the thought : “wow I look so much better, I better not mess this up,” or “I feel better than I have ever felt in my life, I am a changed person,” is not the same part of the brain that wakes us up in the middle of the night and says: “go on, finish that 1/2 pint of Chunky Monkey in the freezer, there’s only a little bit left anyway, and I have been so good here lately.”
We are dealing with two very different brains; the frontal cortex and the reptilian mid brain. The frontal cortex is the most newly developed (relative to other parts of the brain) part of the brain. It is the component that separates us from animals. It gives us the ability to think about consequences, plan, and execute. It is the “higher” part of ourselves, that often says “why do I keep on doing the same things I keep saying I won’t do anymore?” Or “I feel so out of control. This _______ (eating, smoking, drinking, gambling, pick your poison) is a temporary solution that produces long term pain. I have to find a different way.”
Our reptilian midbrain is the Commodore 64 to our MAC; it is the palm pilot to our iPhone; the horse and buggy to our Prius; the Tommy Lee to our Oprah. Our midbrain is antique equipment, long ago evolved to keep us alive and hence the reason it is still with us today- it keeps us alive. Our midbrain contains the parts of the brain that make us recoil at the site of a snake or a spider in our peripheral vision. It is hardwired to not have to go through superfluous channels of the brain that might otherwise say “hmmm what is that crawling over there? How do I feel about that? Oh its just a spider, my aunt had a collection of spiders, maybe I should collect things, etc etc.” We just jump, and process later.
That very system has helped humans survive for thousands of years. There is an adaptive quality to a brain that proverbially acts and asks forgiveness later. That very old structure once kept us out of harm’s way when a pack of tigers were first seen galloping across a horizon, or when a rivaling tribe could be heard in the far off distance, threatening to pillage our territory.
Our midbrain is associated with learning and reward. Learning what makes us feel bad, what eats us (in the past that would be in a literal sense- like tigers, but presently it might be a mercurial supervisor or unending debt), and even more relevant to this article- what makes us feel good. When our brains come across something that makes us feel good (ex: sex, drugs, food), we are then flooded with an influx of the powerful neurotransmitter- dopamine. Just like not everyone that is exposed to drugs will develop an addiction, not everyone that eats a Nutella crepe will develop a food addiction.
Much of the research on obesity currently, postulates that food addiction, no dissimilar than alcohol or drug addiction- is a reward system dysfunction or dysregulation, born out of genetic predisposition. It’s almost as if some brains think “if one slice of pizza feels good, how would four slices of pizza taste?”
To break these two very different parts up in a different, more basic way; our frontal cortex is the voluntary, while our midbrain is the involuntary.
This very dangerous fantasy, many people carry into weight loss surgery is a myth that I try to dispel quickly. This type of “magic bullet’ thinking is the very thing that gets so many gastric bypass and sleeve patients into trouble years down the road. No one wants to look at triggers. No one wants to sit with a therapist and devise a strategic coping plan. We want a pill, a surgery, a 16 minute solution to a 40 year old problem.
This is not to say that weight loss surgery is not a solution, just that its only part of the solution.

Despite our best intentions, we are still in some ways animalistic, hedonically-driven to feed our most basic impulses. This is part and parcel of why recidivism is the rule not the exception when it comes to recovery from most addiction. So what does this mean? Are all weight loss surgery patients destined for disappointment and disenchantment when the WLS honeymoon ends? No. But the answer to long term change lies more in two-pronged approach to long term weight loss success; surgery + behavioral change.
Simply thinking ourself slim is a fantasy. Think about your specific triggers for eating. For some it is that golden hour when all the kids are in bed and Narcos is queued up on your Netflix. For others it is that 2-3pm mid day slump. For some - it is when they are alone, the only time they can eat with abandon free from others’ judgement or their own embarrassment.
Whatever your triggers- the key is to identify what need is being met in that moment and to find a non-food alternative to meet each particular need ( many people have multiple triggers for over eating). If it is because its “your time,” after the kids are in bed- maybe you invest in a foot massager, or cultivate a self care space with textures, aromatherapy, candles, and books. If your trigger is that mid day slump, maybe you develop a yoga routine easily done in the office to help re-energize you. If it is the secretive quality to the trigger of being alone and eating, maybe it is finding another thing that is just your own that no one knows (going to a movie in the middle of the day, getting an overly priced facial on your lunch hour, playing hooky with your kid one day, etc).
The rule of the brain is : what fires together, wires together. So over time- if you have paired 8pm, Narcos, and nachos- you have created a neurological super highway. The moment 8pm rolls around, you are likely already getting the chips ready and didn’t even realize the thought pathway that just occurred. The idea is to repair our triggers with alternative behaviors and over time “clip those wires” or create “toll roads” to our superhighways (aka neurosynaptic pruning), so that we no longer experience such strong urges and can call upon the higher structures of our frontal cortex to guide the way again.
When we are in the midst of addiction, it is important to understand that our frontal cortex is not at the wheel. It has been duck taped and tied to a chair in the basement by our hedonic midbrain who is used to getting what it wants when it wants it. The closer we come to accepting this principle, the closer we come to being more mindful of our midbrain’s powerful rationalizations and sick contracts and see them for just that. We are better able to dis-identify from the thought, knowing it is not coming from our best self, but from our most carnal self.
Think of that distant cousin that only shows up when they need something, the Uncle Eddy that tells you he’ll move the RV when he leaves next month, indifferent to how it makes you feel. Except in addiction- that distant cousin has taken over, pretending its you until you can no longer tell the difference.
References
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Another helpful addition is “Added Sugars”, which is found under the carbohydrate information. Naturally occurring sugars are primarily from fruit (fructose) and dairy (lactose). Vegetables and grains can also contain a small amount of naturally occurring sugar. For added sugars, look for the words sugar, syrup, agave, molasses, juice, beet sugar, brown sugar, turbinado and honey.
Now that we have the total and added sugars, you can determine if the food or beverage is something you can work into your eating. While there are no formal guidelines, limiting foods and fluids to products that have less than 5 grams of added sugar is a starting point.
A rule of thumb for carbohydrate foods is to eat the food that is closest to the farm. That means the least processed the better. For example, a peeled apple is better for you than applesauce. Applesauce is better for you than juice. One hundred percent real fruit juice is another way to say “sugar water” for bariatric patients. The Nutrition Facts Label will list naturally occurring sugars, but you won’t see added sugars listed. So, juice is a high sugar item.
Your dietitian will assess your activity level, blood sugar readings, body composition and tolerances to help you find a healthy carbohydrate goal to work into your eating. We now have a better tool to hunt down the added sugars in our foods and beverages. Happy hunting!

Freedom from Medical Chains
Medical benefits are probably most closely related to weight loss, but they are still worth noting as a “side” benefit of Weight Loss Surgery. As you lose weight, you may have improvements in blood sugar control, blood pressure, and cholesterol levels. You may have less joint and back pain. You may have fewer trips to the doctor, and be able to take fewer medications.
Better Sleep
Never underestimate the power of sleep! Losing weight can help you sleep more deeply so you feel better all day, every day. Your sleep can improve as you feel more comfortable in bed, and if you had sleep apnea that goes away or diminishes with weight loss. Just think how good life could be if you did not have to did not have to use a CPAP machine!
New Food Finds
Strange but true…there is a whole food world aside from burgers, burritos, fries, and bagels. Who knew that you might end up loving to start your day with oatmeal cottage cheese protein pancakes? Your favorite snack could turn out to be kale chips with parmesan. Dinner might be roasted cauliflower with grilled salmon – something you might never have considered when your go-to was mac and cheese from a box.
Sure, you might miss a few foods, but you might notice that you are loving all kinds of new health foods, and the way they make you feel. On top of it, eating slowly can help you savor each bite and enjoy the textures and flavors more.
Saving Money
Saving money probably was not your main reason for considering weight loss surgery, especially if your insurance is not footing the bill. Still, Weight Loss Surgery could be a financial gain in the long run as you consider some potential savings.
Lower medical bills for doctors’ visits, prescription medications, and complications such as complications of diabetes. Fewer sick days taken from work. Lower food bills as you eat less and potentially eat more homemade food. Fewer “extras,” such as higher prices of plus-sized clothing or needing to reserve two seats on a plane. More Meaningful Relationships
Were your relationships built around food before Weight Loss Surgery? Did you consider your friends your best eating buddies, with each of your meetings at a restaurant or each other’s houses for a (unhealthy) meal? Weight loss surgery frees you up to explore other interests. Deepen your relationships with your friends as you walk together or meet at museums or other sights instead of depending on food to bring you together. And, if you do meet for a meal or snack, feel good knowing you can focus on the conversation as you eat slowly.
Confidence
Ultimately, weight loss surgery is for you, and you can benefit inside as you look better on the outside. You can gain confidence from your new looks, maybe as you fit into clothes you love, or you see a few muscles popping out. Confidence also comes from your achievements. If you can do something as hard as going through Weight Loss Surgery and sticking to all those healthy lifestyle changes, you can do pretty much anything you set your mind to.
Energy
Energy is a wonderful thing, but it may be in short supply when you are carrying around extra pounds. Lose a few, and you might feel your endurance explode. You can keep up with your kids, enjoy a day at the mall or beach, and go on vacations. Getting through the work day can be easier. Life is better all around when you have energy.
Bariatric surgery is a weight loss tool, and it is so much more. Use it properly, and you can make great gains in many areas of your life. Part 2 of the series – to be published soon – will discuss ways to get what you deserve – maximum gains from Weight Loss Surgery!

For equipment, think about bringing a shaker cup or small blender to mix protein shakes, carry protein powder with you (try single serve packets or put a single serving of protein powder in a small container or small zip bag.), carry a stash of utensils (plastic forks, spoons and knives), and bring clean up helpers (paper towels, napkins or wet wipes). If you are going to a hotel that has a microwave, bring microwave-proof dishes or paper plates to heat a frozen meal or leftovers. A small coffee maker can make a decaf cup of coffee you can add vanilla protein to make a latte or chocolate to make mocha type drink. Drink it hot or cool it down and put ice in it. If make a hot drink, keep the temperature under 140 degrees.
If traveling in a car, bring a cooler packed with protein drinks, cheese sticks, cottage cheese, hard boiled eggs, light yogurt or protein snacks like the P3 Protein Packs. You can either buy the individual servings of yogurt or cottage cheese or get a larger container of these foods and divide into small, plastic containers. Be prepared to stop by a grocery store to purchase single servings of yogurt or cottage cheese. There are veggie-fruit-protein snack packs now in many of the produce section of grocery stores. Some convenience stores carry protein shakes and protein bars. These are usually found on shelves towards the back of the store. Other protein snacks include protein chips (Quest, Kay’s Naturals) and protein bars. Look for protein bars that have more protein than carbohydrates such as brands like Premier Protein, Pure Protein, Six Star Nutrition, Quest and Nature Valley Protein Bars. Pouches of tuna or salmon, or the tuna and chicken salad kits to make an easy meal. Softer texture jerky and nuts are other protein options. Pack your bags and pack your protein to have a great trip!

I’m in New Zealand today, where I have been for the past three weeks. It has been a privilege to work with a number of bariatric professionals from different disciplines associated with the Foundations Healthy Living Retreat. During this five-day retreat, a small group of post-operative bariatric patients live together, eat together, exercise together, learn together and share with one another. Various staff members share their expertise about healthy living. Topics include much more than how to eat well and exercise. Participants learn the importance of focusing on personal values in all areas of their lives, discover the importance of positive self-talk, address self-sabotage and learn the importance of living mindfully. Coping skills, communication skills, and boundary setting skills are discussed. The topics of shame and vulnerability are explored, as well. Participants get what all bariatric patients in all corners of the world need following bariatric surgery: the Foundations of Healthy Living. Hmmm… good name for the retreat!
What I think as I look around me are the many “non-coincidences” in my immediate surrounding. I do not believe that my being here, halfway around the world, is a coincidence. To begin with, Dr. David Schroeder, a bariatric surgeon, and his wife, Andrea, are, in many ways, absurdly similar in personality to my husband Steve and myself. David and Steve are both kind, intelligent, rational, left-brain thinkers who are mild-mannered and soft-spoken. Andrea and I, on the other hand, while also kind and intelligent, are passionate, passionate and more passionate. Translated, we are thinkers and DO-ers, we are upfront and direct, and are most definitely whatever the opposite of soft-spoken is. Oh, loud. That’s it!
Andrea and David are passionate about their work in the bariatric field. They are zealous about the physical health of surgical weight loss patients and are also super passionate about the patients’ psychological health. The Schroeder’s know that the journey of recovering from obesity takes a lifetime and includes the physical and the psychological wellbeing of each person. Andrea created the Foundations of Healthy Living Retreat and they have been hosting the retreats for the past five years.
It is definitely not a coincidence that David reached out to me after reading my first book, Eat It Up! Our professional philosophies are very much in sync. My work, with great help from Steve, is all about addressing the psychological needs of patients while their physical needs are being medically managed. David and Andrea, like Steve and myself, dedicate much more than our careers to providing bariatric patients with education and support. We address the WHOLE person, pre-operatively and after weight loss surgery. We put our hearts and souls into the work we do because we are convinced by the feedback our patients provide that they want and need much more than the surgical procedure can provide in order for them to live healthy lives, both physically and psychologically following bariatric surgery.
Since meeting in 2011, I have learned a great deal by working with both Andrea and David. The Schroeder’s have twice brought me to New Zealand where I have had the opportunity to learn from and contribute to, the lives and education of their patients and staff.
Andrea and David, as well as every person presenting information at the retreat, address bariatric patients from a whole person perspective. Each participant is treated respectfully and compassionately, as a human being who is much more than a bariatric patient. Their emotional support needs are emphasized, as a success following bariatric surgery involves more than dealing with a person’s biological innards.
Is it a coincidence that Andrea and David, in New Zealand, know the same things that Steve and I know in the US? We all know and work toward, helping patients and bariatric professionals realize that bariatric patients have tremendous emotional and psychological needs that require attention. Behavior modification by itself is not enough when it comes to sustaining weight loss. If it were, well… wouldn’t more people have kept weight off after diets and bariatric surgery?
Is it a coincidence that the bariatric patients I have talked with during individual sessions, along with the participants at the retreats, all from New Zealand, talk about the exact same issues as the bariatric patients I have worked with in the US for the past 15 years? I’m not talking about the physical problems. I’m talking about the lack of self-care this population acknowledges. Not just in their eating and exercise behaviors. These people talk about a great lack of self-value that translates to a lack of proper self-care. The greatest common denominator aside from the physical co-morbidities of the bariatric patients I have spent time with in both countries boils down to this: I don’t believe I’m good enough. That, my friends, is the definition of shame.
Our bariatric patients need to heal from the shame that draws them back into unhealthy habits. Healing from shame requires much, much more than a bariatric procedure in an operating room, or “theater,” as they call it in New Zealand. It is not coincidental that bariatric patients across the globe suffer from shame. It is tragic that so few bariatric professionals around the world are willing to provide the full spectrum of care that patients require in order to be able to follow through with behavior modification techniques. Deep shame will eventually extinguish behavior modification efforts.
How long before more bariatric professionals get it? How long before more than a handful of patients get the emotional support and psychological care they need after bariatric surgery? How long before we provide a truly comprehensive program to help our patients eliminate shame and establish self-acceptance?
The shame belongs to the programs and professionals who do not provide a comprehensive program… because those programs simply aren’t good enough. (Along with the Schroeder’s, I will be offering residential retreats through bariatric centers in the near future. For more information, contact me at connie@conniestapletonphd.com.)
I’m grateful for the non-coincidences that have led to meeting Andrea and David Schroeder. I am not surprised to see and hear that the patients in our very distant geographical countries are so very similar. Mostly, I am thrilled to know that there are professionals and patients who know that the Foundations of Healthy Living go way beyond medical care alone!
For now, patients can participate in the GAIN While You Lose 10-week program. This is a great way for patients around the country (and the world) to have access to the same topics discussed in the Foundations of Living Retreat. This class includes an hour and a half “lesson,” taught live but available online or via recorded session, followed by weekly homework to make the information applicable to each person’s life. (http://www.conniestapletonphd.com/onlin…/weight-loss-program)
Why aren’t we currently doing retreats in the US? Are you, the patients, willing to pay to attend? Are you willing to take the time and spend the money to invest in yourself? Do you value yourself enough to work on your emotional issues? You’ve most likely been willing to pay hundreds to thousands of dollars for weight loss programs, powders, gimmicks and scams. What about actually finding a way to find self-acceptance, a requirement for being able to follow through with behavior modification tools?
Patients: there is no shame in having problems. It is tragic to me if you know there are problems, but choose not address them. Please seek the help you need! After all: YOUR HEALTH is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. THIS DAY. EVERY DAY.