I can sympathize with your struggle. I was banded 11/07 and originally lost about 90 lbs down from 359 to 272. 40 lbs of that was pre op loss because I had to lose the 10% to have surgery. That surgery date was a huge motivator! I lost over the next few months because I was healing from surgery and really could eat very little. I have since had several fills. I am up to 7.5 in my 10 CC band and have gained back about 20lbs. I am my own worst enemy. I eat soft food, lots of liquids.. things I know I won't struggle with, things I know I can consume in larger volumes. I understand the mental work that needs to go in to this process but I have checked out. I recently went to a seminar offered by my surgeon for new patients to support a friend. I felt so ashamed because everyone assumed I was there considering surgery because I am still so overweight. I did not have the nerve to say I was a patient and a failure. Hearing the information again like a new patient I was reminded that this band is only a tool and as I looked around at the eager faces in this seminar .. I wanted to scream out "it's still a lot of work!" "you will still be dieting" "you still have to exercise" "you still have to watch your calories" Finally, I listened to my own inner screams and thought look dummy you know what you need to do so do it! I am making an effort to go on liquids for 7 days in hopes I will give myself more restriction. My Dr. doesn't want to give me another fill until I drop some of this weight. I hope for all who are struggling they can find the strength to keep fighting. We are worth it!!!