DoubleDawn04

Honey, save the biggest tent piece of clothing and get rid of the rest. You aren't going back there! You didn't start a diet, you changed your life. Own it and you'll do wonderful things for yourself and your health!

I've been dating the last 5 years. Met my current GF of 6 months online. Many members have reached out to me over the years to create a singles section. Hope it gains some traction!

I've been online dating for about 12 years now. I've met all of my last few bfs online.
the first one lasted 3 years, the next one lasted a year, the next one lasted 3 years and my latest one just broke up lasted a year.
I swore I was going to give myself a break and not look online for awhile. Of course I could not resist, so last night I opened up my okcupid profile. There's one guy that's quite a bit younger than me. He's 8 years younger. He lives in my town so that's appealing. I live in a rural area so it's hard to find people. There are 2 more that have written to me that live 2 hours away. They are more my age.
I can't help it. guys just make life more fun.
What a great idea Alex! This topic comes up frequently in the powder room. We start to lose weight, and we want to date.
I don't give much hope to either of the ones that live far away even if it's only 2 hours. I really want someone I can see all the time, and it's been my experience that long distance doesn't work.

Last night, I woke up several times with your situation on my mind. I hope you understand that my comments are coming from the perspective of a domestic violence survivor, and that ultimately I wish you good health and peace of mind.

Since I do not know you or what the other dynamics are in your marriage, my support comes from the frustration you expressed in your post. No one deserves to be verbally abused, or physically assaulted, or isolated from supportive family and friends, or mentally undermined, or denied medical care. It sounds like he is planting seeds of doubt about your ability to be in control of your own life and health.

Do you think he would also be unsupportive if your health issues were from a congenital condition or cancer or something catastrophic? Is he more concerned about medical bills and the inconvenience of doctor appointments and downtown for recovery or do you think he is frantically worried about you and doesn't know how to compassionately express his concern?

One thing that helped me to escape from my husband who became a clinically diagnosed sociopath was that call to a women's shelter to get a professional opinion about what my options were when his psychosis began to affect my health and safety. They introduced me to the cycle of abuse and helped my navigate my way through the emotions and confusion of examining how to change the people and surroundings that were robbing my peace of mind and mentally holding me in a dark place.

There have been several posts on this forum about how the weight loss process impacts relationships in positive and unfortunately sometimes negative ways. Companionship should be about loving and caring and sharing. If you do not have that, then why are you still there?

There was a psychologist on Oprah who addressed issues with lopsided toxic relationships. One of her comments turned my life around. She said...."Instead of thinking 'I love him - so why does he treat me this way?' Start thinking 'why would I love someone who treats me this way?'

Whether I have hit the nail on the head or not, I want to encourage you to pursue good health and happiness. You have a right as an individual to determine what your course in life will be and who surrounds you in your journey through life. If you have to battle genetics, uncooperative body parts, and gnarly old habits in the process, then do it!

I know we get tired of being strong, but you can pull strength from sympathetic friends on this forum. With the sleeve, you have already taken that first leap of faith to have a healthier happier life. When we stumble along the way we can grab a cane, crutch, or go-cart and keep on moving toward the prize.

Life for anyone is a series of adjustments - a change in plans from day to day to day. My signature quote on this site is from Wolfgang Von Goethe. It has helped me face many unimaginable obstacles in my life. Goethe said, "Whatever you can do, or dream you can......BEGIN IT! For boldness has genius, power, and magic in it."
Good luck sweetie.....do what you have to do get healthy and happy. We are here to encourage you along the way. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Please remember our forum rules. Take your personal arguments to PM, that is not what this forum is for. If you don't like the language someone is using, we will determine if it is appropriate or not, it is best for you to move on. And if you don't appreciate something someone is posting, use the ignore button, that is what it is for. We will not tolerate any more of this arguing and personal attacks. it ends now.

I agree that the vast majority of reality tv is garbage. I think 600lb life has some value to it though. It can serve as a wake up call to some and some of the people on it are an inspiration.

I havent seen it but I stopped watching "reality tv" years ago. I cant stomach the scripted crap. The reality of "reality tv" is they needs ratings so they set it up so you keep watching. People love watching train wrecks and that is how the show makes their money. The best thing to do is turn it off and tune it out completely. I like positive uplifting stories about people that have overcome lifes struggles and I also cant stand the fact that people make money off of other peoples hardships for the sake of entertainment.

Same! Instead of showing them six weeks later (as they do on one show I watch), I wish they'd go back six or even twelve months later, so you can actually see how they have changed over time.

If you want to stay fresh &;dry with no chaffing.. here's my secret. .. stick deodorant! I use Secret.
FYI - baby powder holds in bacteria.

I would stick to the powder! Now I don't know about you but I've had 2 kids so now I always wear a panty liner when I exercise (since I pee when I sneeze wrong nowadays) that might not be a problem haha but that what I do and I havent had any problems since! Ps try lanebryant.com for active wear sometimes they have sales so its not ridiculously priced!

Ladies, please talk to me about how you stay fresh and dry down there while exercising? I cannot find dri fit panities anywhere in the area I live in for my size . 2X still. (18-20). Curse Academy Sports. Practically the only sports store in town. They sell nothing above an XL. How are fat girls supposed to get in shape? I have a huge resentment, but that's another thread.
I really hate feeling all sweaty down there. I am using powder but afraid that is not best for that area? And that area gets a little itchy when sweaty for a lengthy of time. It is very humid where I live. I love to walk, but all that moisture and itchyness are deterrants at times. Desitin, vasoline? Ideas? What do you do? Grin and bare it?
Suggestions?

I just posted "Soul Relationships Part 1" to WLS Magazine. Here is the teaser. Please take a read if this is of interest to you. I am finding this process fascinating.
Our Soul is a part of the Divine, here to experience this life and its lessons. Our physical world reality exists for Spiritual growth. For this purpose, Soul Mates have made agreements while in the Spiritual form to find each other in the physical world. Be it to clear up karma, complete unfinished business, or accomplish a particular goal together, these relationships are destined.

I think this will be a great place to talk to others about dating during the surgery process and after. I will be following!

Thanks, Alex. I think this will be a popular forum. Dating and relationships are hard, anyway, and perhaps 'unique' for plus-size individuals. Now, shrinking plus-size people must have new experiences to discuss, new situations, and some non-scale victories, too. Great idea.

I do like this idea since dating is already hard enough then throw the WLS in the mix its pretty much impossible. I really have a hard time telling anyone that I even had it done.

LOL..... married but had to put something on here.

Welcome to the BariatricPal singles Forum! I started this forum because of the huge changes you experience when you are on your weight loss surgery journey. Your lifestyle, your appearance, and the way you see yourself and the world can change. There’s a good chance your relationships will change, too – and maybe you’ll start some new ones.
In fact, it may be time to date again! You can come here to the BariatricPal singles forum to mingle with other singles who have or are thinking about bariatric surgery. It can be a lot easier to start a relationship when you know the other person has the same health values as you, and understands what you’re going through.
I also would like to remind members that you are in control of which information you choose to share with other BariatricPal members. Use your good judgment if you choose to share personal information.
Think twice before you decide to share personal information, such as your real name, your address, or contact information such as your email address or telephone number. Share personal information only with members whom you feel you can trust, if anyone at all. If you do choose to share personal information, share it only with a specific member using the private messaging system. Do not post personal information on this public forum. The regular Forum Rules (including courtesy and respect!) apply to this forum. Of course, you don’t need to be looking for an online date to use this forum. You can also stop by for a little dating advice about your offline fling. Who better than other WLS singles to give you the scoop on dating post-surgery?
So grab a cup of ice Water and join the singles party! Everyone deserves love, and you may find it here.

I am single and have pretty much been single my whole life except when I had my daughter, couldn't do that alone lol. I found it hard to let someone else like me if I didn't like me so I pretty much stayed the "friend". Hopefully as I lose weight I will begin to like myself and allow someone else to like me or maybe love me. I was just sleeved on Mar 19 so a long way to go yet.
Alana

Ah, great idea. My M.O. In the past has been to lose weight, pick up a loser, gain weight, drop the loser, repeat. Uggggggg, hopefully now I can drop that behavior and feel like I can offer a guy more than being a sugar momma.

That 'fiance' of hers is trouble. He's a kid who just has a thing for morbidly obese women. He looks more like her son than someone her own age. There's no way these two can have a healthy relationship and I bet he tries to sabotage her.

@@segatz80 - My surgery was 11/10/14 so I'm still learning my limitations and not sure how much help I can be. But I do know, and would like to suggest -- get back to doing what you know you should be doing to get all your Protein in and your physical activity. I know some days it is hard to stay the course, but we have to do it for the rest of our lives, and for the BEST of our lives. You may even want to talk to someone about any psychological food issues you may be having - maybe the person you had your psych eval with, or a health coach through your insurance company, or an EAP counselor if your employer has an EAP program.
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
From Beck Diet Solutions website for March 24, 2015 - Tuesday Reality Check
Don't be overly influenced by the number on the scale. If you see a higher number, you may get demoralized and overeat. If you see a lower number, you may think that it’s okay to loosen up and eat more. Remember – the number on the scale is just one point of information and shouldn’t impact how you eat on any given day.
http://www.beckdietsolution.com/daily-diet-solutions/

I definately need to hear that food after the sleeve is possible. I keep hearing horror stories. I still have Water weight from the surgery but I want to reach my goal of 190-195 and learn how to stay there.

That's scares me! That's exactly what I don't want to happen! I would be your buddy but I'm still in that stage so I don't know how much help I would be...I would probably just be annoying