emma4884

I'm grieving for my children's environment, women, and people of color.
Time will tell

If he upholds all his "promises" regarding immigration, Gay rights, reproductive rights, etc, he will never be MY president and I will NOT rally behind him. I can only hold on to the hope that he continues to be the liar he's proven himself to be. Neither party put up the best candidate, and I get that Republicans wanted change, but did they really want TRUMP?
#notmypresident

Oh, you mean like the Republicans that rallied around Obama? #notmypresident

My sentiments exactly.

Best wishes for the girls ....its our turn to cheer YOU on as you are always cheering for the rest of us!

but but but

While my husband is not an asshat and is very encouraging and supportive of my decision to have WLS, his level of support ends at the dinner table, and actually even before that. He still comes home from work and immediately pours himself a glass of wine, he eats whatever he wants in front of me, and at less than 1 month out, he held up a bottle of wine and asked me if I was ready to have some.
I also have three family members who have all had WLS before me. While they have given me great advice about what to expect and what medications to have on hand (Gas-X, Miralax) their food choices are poor and the example they set is less than stellar.
My surgery was a line item exception on my insurance, so I had to self-pay and was not required to take any classes or participate in any pre-surgery diet. At my 2 week follow-up appt, my surgeon switched me from liquids to solid foods. When I asked him a specific question about food choices, he told me I was overthinking it.
While I agree with the initial rant and understand the frustration that caused it, many of us are on here because we literally do not have the support or knowledge necessary to make the best decisions. I am still learning and will listen and take advice. I may sometimes be offended by the tone, but I get over it, take what I need to from it and move on, hopefully better for the knowledge.
Thank you to the veterans who are so generous with their time and knowledge, and please be patient with those of us who are stumbling through this and asking you to help guide us (or sometimes pick us up)!

To each their own. Who are we to disagree? We need to find beauty in and of ourselves any way we can. And when we are overweight, that is a hard task, indeed.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

the day i couldn't fit into my fav jeans.... i woke up and said.... Not me. Im not going to be one of those people that gain it all back.... So i did what i know worked... stopped buy the bad stuff... (happy foods) Ice cream, chips, Cookies... If you don't buy them, you can't eat them.
A year ago this past July i got back to 160.... today im 134....
Remember what got you at your lowest and set your mind to do it again......

I got up about 15 lbs at one point, and occasionally stray over into the "red zone" by a couple of pounds. The basic principles of how I lose weight are the same:
--eat less than 1200 calories per day
--weigh or measure all food and track religiously on myfitnesspal to make sure I am confident about staying under 1200 calories per day
--eat at least 75 grams of Protein per day
--avoid: grains, starchy veggies, sweets, processed meat (sausage, bacon, Jerky, deli or lunch meat), liquid calories, and tropical fruits
--moderate intake: Beans, nuts, fruit, dairy
--eat mostly: lean, dense protein, green veggies, eggs
--vigorous exercise for at least 30 minutes per day, 5 days a week, but do not attempt to 'eat back' calories burned via exercise. Ignore them.
When I have gotten uncomfortably over my goal weight, I may start with a "3 day meat test" or "5 day meat and green veggies test." They are just what they sound like: three days of eating nothing but lean, unprocessed meat (and eggs) and small amounts of healthy fats -- no counting calories or restricting amounts to eat, eat as much as I want, but very severely limit the kind of food I eat. Alternatively, I can do this for five days if I add in green veggies as an "allowed" food.
But in either event, if at the end of three or five days I haven't gotten back to where I want to be, I restrict amounts and journal all calories, carbs, etc. faithfully.
A few things I do to make it easier -- 1) get all off-plan food out of the house entirely (no one needs to eat that crap, the rest of your family can live without immediate access to it for a little while); 2) recognize where I tend to struggle and stop myself from being able to "give in." For me, I really want to snack on junk food at work. So, I stopped taking any form of money with me to work. No cash, no credit or debit cards, no checkbook, nothing. It's scary to leave the house without money, but it's never caused me any sort of emergency. Other people might have trouble with driving by their favorite doughnut store -- in that case, change your route so you don't go by it. I call these brute force methods -- they are tough, but they work (unless you are willing to rob the snack shop at work, which I am not).
Good luck everyone!

Well, I PM'ed Alex just two short days ago asking him to consider a regain forum, and well, here we are!
He asked me to start the first thread.
So here goes...
I am 27 months post op and have gained 20 lbs from my lowest. I have had a massive personal loss (stress eating) and took a night position that I LOVE (but snack all night) so 20 lbs and here I am.
Plan:
1. Came back to bariatric pal and owned my gain. admitted to it and moved forward.
2. Seeing a new doc and nut next week. Changed insurance due to job change and have an incredible new clinic/doc/nut and getting established with them wednesday.
3. Started 5 day Pouch Test and trying to re-learn restriction.
4. Found the coordinator of the support group associated with my new doc. called the coordinator. announced myself. now they are expecting me, so I have to go and face it.
5. ordered Slim in 6 program from Beachbody since i have not exercised like I should in a LONG time so that's a pretty mellow start.
6. bought all sorts of proteins-new flavor shakes, Soups, Quest Cookies and Cream bars etc because variety will keep me going.
So...there it is. My truth. I have gained. Yes, I have regained. But through the loss of my dad, my grief, a new career path I am in love with, and learning how to balance a night job with my eating I have also regained perspective.
I regained some weight. Now I regain control. Then I regain my life.

I'm as tough as nails, and don't really care what other people think most of the time. In this instance, I was talking about literally fitting physically into the world. Socially fitting in is a whole 'nother story.
And now, I fit! I fit the airplane seat, I fit the restaurant booth, I fit the seat at the basketball game, I fit into the chairs with arms!

I see this is an old post but oddly it is something I have been thinking about lately. I have chronic kidney stones and have to have them broken up occasionally if they get too big instead of passing. Anyway these machines that break up the stones (called lithotripsy) are only at a few locations around. I always had to go to the only one that could hold over 300 pounds. One time the nurse scheduled me for the other location and I went for per-op and I was 3 pounds over so they denied me the procedure. She wasn't even sympathetic. Just "nope. Can't do it". I was mortified. I cried and cried. But did it change me? Nope. Well I just realized this week that at my new weight that will never happen again. I will never have to ask about the weight limit on an MRI table or lithotriosy table again! I haven't flown since I've lost but I am excited to do so. I still have a huge bottom half so the seat won't be comfortable (seriously who do they build those damn seats for?!) But at least maybe I won't have to have the seatbelt extender. I mourn the life I have let pass me by while worrying about how I looked or where I could fit. I pray this will always keep me fearful of regain and on track.

@@Proud2BMe Glad to see your post! Hope you are doing well - think about you often! Stay strong!

The only regret I have is not having this surgery done sooner. I actually feel like I'm finally normal as I'm finally eating normal sized food portions. For example, a normal food portion of pizza is 1 slice. Yet before I would eat an entire large pizza. I truly feel the surgery saved my life and I would do it again in a heartbeat!

I know EXACTLY how you feel, and I have pondered the very same thought over and over again during the past six months.
As much as I would love to save my stomach and keep it intact, I know that I have to have this surgery. By the time of my surgery in 3 weeks, I will have lost 100 pounds, but the truth is that I need to lose at least 100 more pounds and really like 120 more pounds if I want to beat this weight problem once and for all. The surgery will anchor the second half of the weight transformation, and most importantly, help position me for lifetime maintenance. I'm as scared as f**k, but it is time to man up and do this.
But again, I understand how you feel. Only you can make the decision that is right for you. All my best wishes!

@@greeneyedgrrl24
First, 27lbs is excellent in that time frame. I would question my doctor if they are expecting you to lose a lb a day. That is not realistic and I am shocked to hear that.
After the first month or two, most people average between 5 to 10lbs per month. Some months you lose less (I had months where I was stalled the whole month)
That being said. 3 shakes a day on top of the real food may be the problem. Once you are able to eat Protein, you should be able to reduce those shakes some. I am a bypass patient so take it for what it's worth but for the first few months I averaged between 400 and 600 calories per day.
Then I stalled and was told to add more calories through Protein and good carbs like veggies and fruit. I upped my calories to 700 minimum and no more than 900. I stayed there until I was near goal.
I learned that if I had more than 1000 calories I would stall, if I had more than 1200 calories I would gain. Anything betwee 900 and 1100 I would lose weight.
Once I hit my ultimate goal, I slowly (very slowly) began to increase my calorie over the last 6 months. I now am able to eat between 1300 and 1400. If I go beyond 1400 I gain.
Also, I don't know how tall you are but 120 protein grams seems like a lot. I am 5'10" and my goal is no more than 70 which is 1 gram for every 1 inch I am tall.
I use Myfitnesspal to track what I eat daily and it helps me understand where I am to my protein, calories and carb goals.
When you are early on it isn't usually necessary to worry about calories but that assumes you are barely able to eat anything. Like for most it is 1/4C to 1/2cup, 3 times per day. Realistically when you are eating so little, counting calories isn't necessary but as time goes by you will be able to eat more and then it is important to know where you are.
Hopefully this gives you some food for thought. Or at least the ability to ask your surgeon or nut about losing a pound a day or even your 120 gram protein.
I am sure that some sleeve folks can also provide some insights.

Does she need to go for insurance approval or something? Either way, it's her problem not your's.
I went to one last week sponsored by the hospital where I plan to have surgery. I was disappointed that it was so small, only 3 other patients and the nurse. However, I liked meeting the people and hearing their stories. One lady was 2 years out RNY. One lady was 6 weeks out sleeve, and another man was scheduled to have his sleeve in a few days.
Both of the post-op people were doing great, the pre-op guy was very nervous. The nurse was great answering all of his questions (and mine!) and putting his mind at ease.
I liked it but I understand people usually don't have time for such things. I will probably go again but I wish more people would go. Oh well.

I went to 3 in person support groups and decided that the only support group I wanted to leverage is this one.
I have found there is just too much whining and negativity in the support group meetings that was connected to my clinic.
I have turned out ok so far. 2 years post op this month and at goal and maintaining well.
Some people just struggle in those environments.

Look I am very sorry that you are dealing with all that you are. I think everyone who has posted in this thread has said something to that effect....at least in their first posts, before they were attacked for offering words of encouragement.
This is a support forum. Typically, when people post about their complications others are there to encourage them and let them know that it does in fact, get better. That's the very nature of a support forum such as this. Your inability to take those words as encouragement is what's baffling here.
Not only do you accuse those people of "attacking" you, but you've made it abundantly clear that you don't want support or words of encouragement if those words include anything about it POSSIBLY GETTING BETTER. This is clearly evident in your responses and immediate defensiveness to anyone who dares trying to help you.
You said "we don't know you" and you're right. I don't know you. The only way to get an impression of you is through your words posted on this forum. So my analysis based on that has me scratching my head wondering what it is you exactly hope to achieve here? You claim you want to educate. What is it exactly you want to offer by way of education? You've shared your experience. People telling you that it may get better shouldn't be taken as a threat to the message you're trying to send, yet you're clearly taking it that way. Why?
Anyone who does even a day (as opposed to 2 years) of research can clearly see the complication possibilities, both short and long-term, as well as the percentages to which they are possible. It's great that you've shared your experience here, and some of the responsibility certainly seems to reside with the medical team that was involved, but you are not open to suggestions or the possibility that it could (and for most of us, does) get better!?!?!?!
So to me, reading this thread from start to finish, I would see that your "method" of education includes telling people about the negative possibilities of this procedure (which is good, as I said), but then you go further and this is where you lose me (and probably everyone else), you go above and beyond to try it make it perfectly clear that not only is it bad, but in your infinite wisdom (of 10 weeks), you can clearly say that beyond a shadow of a doubt it absolutely will never get better, and damn anyone for even suggesting that it might. This is not a good message to send to those researching the surgery, because it's simply not true and you do not have enough post-op time in to make any long-term claims.
You have to realize how small of a percentage you are in with any complications, and you are CERTAINLY NOT far enough along to make the determination that you have long-term complications, and making that claim now only damages your credibility with anyone here who is, I'm sure. Not only that you could possibly be preventing people from getting a potentially life-saving procedure because they read this and see comments like "it will never get better", which is a comment that you just simply aren't far enough along to make, which makes it unfair to those people.
If you want to offer your experiences (on a support forum), then you should absolutely, unequivocally be open to those wishing to help by offering encouragement and suggestions. Otherwise, you are not trying to educate, you are trying to dictate.
I truly do hope things get better for you, and I also hope that one day you will re-read this thread and see why the overwhelming majority takes issue with the way you are projecting your story onto others. Nobody is challenging the fact that you are having a bad experience, but to make absolute comments like "it will never get better" is just misleading and again, a comment that you are not far enough along to make, yet you're making it over and over. That could be damaging to people who adopt that mindset without first qualifying that the source of it has the experience to make it. 10 weeks is not long-term....not by a long-shot, so making that claim is not only misinformation, it's downright dangerous to others who are still in their research phase.
Best of luck!

@@GinaCampbell I've read all the posts on here and am impressed with how masterfully and swiftly you managed to dilute the goodwill that has always been extended to you on these boards. Bravo.
People showed up to support you yet again on this thread and one by one you slapped them away, picking on words that were never meant to attack, harm or 'bully' you. Perhaps you should have prefaced in your original note that you were not looking for compassion or support and that might've effectively kept any love coming to you, at bay.
What's been phenomenal to see however, is the continued decency and patience showed by most of the responders on here, even in the face of serious vitriol spat out by the person you were doing your best to support. I thank these people for showing that nastiness can be responded to with grace - that's what I'll taking away from this mess of a thread.

When we write things on forums, it isn't just the original poster, or the responders who read it. I betcha there will be many lurkers who will read this thread and it's good that they can see various points of view. My remarks are targeted at those people who are trying to understand this surgery and if it is a good idea for them. It's a freaking scary proposition to have part of your stomach removed!
My personal experience as a sleever can be summarized like this:
Preop - Terrified and anxious, I had to get short term medication to make it through the last week before surgery. The word "hot mess" comes to mind. It wasn't because I didn't want to be sleeved, it was because I had such a fear of the operation, such a fear of failing AGAIN (I was a failed band patient and there is no feeling of failure like failing after bariatric surgery) First weeks post op were very miserable and I was still fat. Struggle to get in enough Water, exhausted, anti-social, diarrea all that stuff. I never regretted it though because I knew this often happened and I just had to "muscle through it" Introducing solid food was another awful experience. I felt like I had to do it perfectly right since I was so desperate to succeed. I feared damaging my sleeve, I felt sick to my stomach, everything tasted weird, Water tasted like it had metal in it.... and I was still fat. The next few months were surreal. I didn't feel like myself and I can't even articulate why. While I got the hang of eating properly, it was disorienting for food to taste bad, to eat so little, to have food restrictions, eating FELT LIKE A CHORE. Then, I had an "ah ha" moment - this is the window of opportunity to change my relationship with food. Food is not recreation, it's nutrtion - novel concept for me! I often felt I would be happier just not eating, but I realized that is another form of disordered eating, so I took on the approach that food is like medicine - follow my surgeons and NUTs directions and take it on faith it would get better. Still fat, but down alot. By 3-4 months out, people were noticing the weight loss, I was feeling more myself emotionally, I was not as naseaous, I could tolerate a wider variety of food and it started tasting normal. I was in a good workout routine and loving that I could do more. Yes, still fat, but not nearly AS fat. I started thinking that amazing things MIGHT be possible. At around 8-9 months my appetite returned, my weight loss slowed and I was still about 40# from goal. I made a conscious decision to evaluate what was important to me and I got my butt back on track with good steady losses. At 14 months I made my goal of losing 150#. I could wear cute clothes, people didn't recognize me, I could eat pretty much anything (exceptions are rich ice cream gives me cramps and spicy food can irritate my tummy a bit) I am nearly 5 years post op and living a good life as a normal sized, active woman with a loving boyfriend. I am living a day to day life that I could only dream of. Many people dont know I had surgery - I eat small portions of very normal food. My kids are shocked when they see my before pix... but they tell me I changed inside too, not just the weight loss. I wear makeup, I love to dress up, go out, social butterfly all that. Life is pretty damn good and I am thankful for the help of the sleeve to get me here.

Gina, people just want to give you hope. Perhaps we are all coming off wrong. lets hope things get better for you & you can have a better life than you do right now...to be able to stop losing weight at the rate you are...to be able to go out without having to worry about leakage....to feel healthier than you do. I am sorry you feel attacked. I know I felt the same way when I mentioned a book I had read that I thought may be interesting, lol.....it was like woah.....I was just saying it was interesting, but people got angry....so I got angry & thought I wasn't going to post anymore.....so I can understand....words sometimes don't come off the way we mean them or.....we can't see past our own prejudices. I think many people get to the point where we get rattled when we hear can't, won't, etc.....because Gina, we all believe in hope & without it, what's the point? Hope keeps us all going & that's what we all try to get out of situations like this, & to offer. We are just trying to offer you some hope, one human to another. I guess that's not what you wanted & I apologize for my earlier posting, where I thought I was giving you hope & support......I am sure everyone else was trying to give you this too.......I guess all you wanted was to open our eyes to the dangers, & you have done that. Thank you Gina.

@@GinaCampbell,
Thanks for your post. I think it is important for everyone who is considering weight loss surgery to see all sides of the issue so they can make the best decision for themselves.
I am sorry you feel that your surgery was a mistake. I can definitely sympathize with your reasons, such as missing coffee, or wanting to eat without worrying about its effects. And worrying about fainting when leaving the house sounds awfully scary.
You provide a great cautionary tale. The reasons you list for regretting the surgery are not uncommon effects of the surgery, and I’m sure many of them were not a surprise to you. Especially since you did your pre-op research, I am sure you knew you wouldn’t be able to eat a full salad 9 weeks post-op, or eat as much meat (or really anything) as you wanted, or drink Water with meals.
I think it is really hard sometimes to translate what we read and know in our minds to being able to understand how hard it will be in real life. Thanks for pointing it out.
I am glad you are choosing to look forward and move ahead as best you can. I do hope you eventually come to change your mind and feel that surgery was a good move for you, but if not, I still look forward to seeing you make the most of it. Thanks for sharing your story and thoughts.

A couple things really hit home from your original post.
First is that you did a tremendous amount of research pre-op and put a lot of time and effort into making this decision. It certainly was well thought out.
The second thing that really struck a similar chord with me is your comment, "I myself am only 9 weeks post op and have had complications so I can't know what my future holds." I want to really key in on this.
I didn't really feel alive and vibrant until somewhere between my 2nd and 3rd month. Prior to that the diarrhea, rumbling stomach, weird feels overall, dropping blood pressure and baggy clothes had me feeling strange and uncertain. Then....I found my stride. I found that life was normal. I was eating hearty cuts of succulent Protein........and then I was given the go ahead to have coffee.....blessed coffee. Things began getting back to normal....a new normal that was much better than any I'd known in decades. It continues to get better each week, too.
Now....if I want, I can have the diet Dews and diet Cokes that I used to love.....and yes...I can even have them with some mixed nuts & cheese (one of my all time favorite snacks) so long as I stay within my daily calorie goals. I've yet to have the diet sodas simply because I have been without them for the better part of a year and don't miss them. I'm good with Water and coffee and an occasional diet Snapple or similar.
I ask that you trust in your pre-op homework and demonstrated diligence. You put in tremendous thought into this back then. You've been through a major series of changes since and are truly at the infant stages of your post-op living. You are only 9 weeks out.
I'll wager that in a few months you'll resist this thread with an update and I hope that it's one where you've found that things have normalized and everything is falling into place.
Hang in there and thanks for being open, supportive and honest. That's the only way to roll.