Jerr_Bear

After 6 months of preparation, over 60 lbs lost, a sleep study that I'm pretty sure gave me pneumonia, an upper endoscopy, and thousands incurred in medical expenses, it turns out that the clinic made an oversight and bariatric surgery is excluded from my insurance. So the thing that I had been planning my whole life around for the last 6 months will not be happening. Also gone is any hope I had attached to it. I usually carry myself as a confident person, and don't like to show any signs of vulnerability, but my life has just been shaken to its very core. And all the clinic could offer was a sincere apology.

They say to never attribute malice to what can be explained by incompetence. But how can I not? Maybe I'm burdened with having unreasonably high expectations of people. When they way is shown to you, and you are motivated by that hope, only to see it ripped away from you just at the moment it seems so real that you can touch it. How can one not be angry? Because a seemingly minor clerical error to them has far reaching impact on the lives of the patients and their families. How can I not take it personally? They've told me coldly that they can no longer help me.

I'm sure people have gone through this, and I have been told that I wasn't covered before. But that was before I went through the whole agonizing pre operation ordeal. One that is both physically and psychologically taxing. I've talked to everyone I can, and it appears that there is no recourse for me. And I have no fight left in me. Where do I go at this point?

But this is where moxy comes in. You gotta dig deep and ask yourself how bad do you want it? If the answer is DAMMIT YOU WANT IT then you work that much harder to get it! You can do this!

@@Babbs I wish I read more of this on these boards. You get it.

@@LipstickLady You and I seem to be cut from the same cloth. Shame can be a great motivator.

Yeah not her business to spread. But in telling her, you kind of opened that up to discussion. I think you're being a little too sensitive. After you lose all your weight and people get used to the new you, this won't even be a thing. So I'd say just grin and bear and keep working. This too shall pass.

@@Dub I think my scale had reached skynet-like intelligence and started adding comments like, "looks like that piece of cake wasn't such a good idea after all."

I'm trying to imagine the voice....

Think Siri, but with more of a judgmental tone

This was trolling of the highest order. It hit all the marks, and even got some members to reveal some prejudices of their own. I'm kind of impressed, actually.

The scale that I use is a talking scale that announces my weight. I don't care for that feature but this was the only scale I could find at the time that supported my ample proportions. Over all, it works fine. But I dread the point where my weight locks in and it begins to mockingly announce my weight to the world. My house is a cookie cutter house with hollow core doors that amplify all sound. So if I am unable to step off the scale before it starts talking, there is no way to stop it once it starts talking. At that point, I just want to crawl into a hole and die. I don't know why all scales for me are talking. Do they think fat people can't read? WTF?

So a few days ago, I decided enough was enough. I took that scale apart and cut out the speaker. Now I can weigh myself without feeling like the whole world is watching. Even after I lose all this weight, I don't think I'll ever stop thinking like a fat person.

Yeah, there seems a to be a lot of that here. I don't think you're an a-hole for making that observation. That's really why I don't go to the live support groups, because that's all there is there too. It just seemed like a pity party.

I'm not in baltimore city but let me give you my approach and see if it works for you. Just attack it head on. You can't do anything about the past, but you can do everything about the future. See this opportunity for what it is. It is an opportunity to have a life beyond what you could imagine. Seeing morbidly obese on my chart was a soul crushing experience. But it wasn't something I didn't already know. Take the time you need to reflect and get the crying out of your system, because this is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done. But you can do it. You've already taken that first step. So get excited, start picturing and living the change that you want to be. For me this is not just a lifestyle change. I have to change my whole attitude. In any endeavor, there will be naysayers. You don't need to change their minds, just use them as motivation. For me, nothing motivates me more than when someone says I can't or shouldn't do something. I wish you all the luck, and kick some ass.

Wow, having to stick with it for that long. I admire your tenacity. I think that attitude will serve you well going forward. Lots of luck.

I've heard that it does get better.

Stalls suck ass, but I've just accepted them as part of the process. I always keep in mind that you want the overall trend of your weight to be down and not up. A 2-3 week stall may seem hopeless and feel like an eternity. But if you're not gaining any weight either, I don't see it as a problem. Just keep doing what you're doing. It's a marathon not a sprint.

THIS IS THE MEN'S ROOM.

+1

I'll let you know when I get there.

Welcome, Mike. I'm in your shoes, 3 months preop but I have found that changing your attitude is just as important as changing your eating habits. It can be overwhelming at first, but you just have to start with the first step. There will always be people against it, I have my share in my life. But you can't do it for them, you have to do it for you.

Does anyone even pay attention to the guys only tags?

NB are great shoes, but my favorite are Brooks. They are a little pricey but well worth it in my opinion. They come in extra wide width. One of their models (addiction walkers, I think) I hear are quite good. But my go to shoe for the past 5 years or so has been the brooks beast actually.

I'm sure your intentions were good, this seems like something practical. But where you went wrong was you gave it to her as a gift.

I'd say the traditional rules of

- Whoever smelt it, dealt it.

- Whoever denied it, supplied it.

Would apply in this case. There is no need to incriminate yourself

Yes, I was fearful of that for a long time, and I've never been someone to let fear control my decisions. My love of food has always controlled me, and has caused me to fail many diets in the past. But after all my health problems in the last year, I became even more afraid dying of a heart attack before I'm 50, or losing my legs to diabetes. Like everything in life, it's a calculated risk. You just have to weight the pros and the cons. Lately the pros have been winning. WLS gives me a chance, it gives me hope that I can live a life that was always just out of reach for me. At my weight right now, if don't do something, I'm dead within 10 years. That is a serious sobering reality that I had to face. I think we're all afraid of failing to some degree, but you can turn that fear around into a motivator. Be the change that you want to happen.

When first starting out, it's kind of overwhelming it's so hard to know where to begin. I did not have a clue. I spent many a late nights trying to find out things. I had assumed I would be self pay for so long. It's amazing how many choices there are out there now.

I am so excited for you. You seem to be in the same position I am, where you just said enough is enough. I am learning it's not just about a lifestyle change, it's about an attitude change. You will do great.

Awesome, I've been doing the ocassional 5K, and it's been great. One thing I've learned is to make sure you have a really good pair of shoes that are made for your body type, stance, etc. I have also learned that this is one area where I can't afford to be cheap. Go to a specialty running store and get fitted. Even if they don't carry the shoe for you, they will usually suggest several models right for you. A good pair of shoes makes all the difference in the world. I love the brooks addiction. Pricey, but worth every penny IMO.

I am in my preop diet. I usually have a Protein shake in the morning, the premier Protein Shake mix from Sam's club is great. I usually mix a scoop of that with 8 oz of unsweetened vanilla almond milk and top it off with some more cold Water just to add some volume. I usually have a salad for lunch, or some sort of meat and veg combo. Same goes for dinner. I find that if you focus on Protein and vegetables, you will find more and more options. If you love avocados like I do, I always keep a few on hand. They make a great salad sliced with some sliced tomatoes and some salt sprinkled on top. Keep a variety of vegetables on hand, and don't hide them in the drawers in your refrigerator, or you will forget about them and they will go bad. Keep them in site. That little trick has worked well for me. I find that some carbs are ok as long as I keep it under a certain amount, but I keep well clear of sugars. Also, bacon is your friend This is a lot to digest (pun intended) but you will get the hang of it. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

This is a south texas thing, and has become a common breakfast staple since I began to cut carbs. But I love me some chicharrones (translation: fried pork rind) and eggs scrambled together. Dump some salsa on it, and you got yourself a fine breakfast there.