jayhawkgirl

@imadethelist- Yep! I've heard all of these..

"You look so much better"......so I looked awful before
"Don't you feel so much better?".....to be honest, I didn't feel that bad before
"OMG how much have you lost?".....none of your damn business
"You look great, I can't wait to see how far you go".....quit while you're ahead, what if this is it? Clearly that person thinks I have more to lose.
I'm just generally happy if someone says, "hey, you look great," and leaves it at that. It's not as if I didn't know I was big before and that I was happy being that size, so I really don't wany ANY comments that bring me back to that unhappy time in my life. I'd rather they say nothing at all and keep on walking! It's one thing if it's family or someone I'm close to because those comments are intended differently and are followed up with "you've done a great job!" or in my mom's case, "I'm so proud of you," which she'd tell me at any size!
On the other hand, the worst thing said to me as an adult was when I wasn't even at my heaviest and some drunk a-hole referred to me as a "cow" and I looked at him at said, "I can lose weight, but you'll ALWAYS be an ass!" (This is the look on his face after.) lol

Sending you nothing but good vibes!! I feel where you're coming from. I lost weight pretty rapidly the first year to 16 or 18 months as well. Then I realized I could eat whatever I wanted and not get sick from anything and if I worked out, I pretty much stayed within a 2-3 pound range. That's all fine and dandy until life hits you in the face! The unexpected death of my sister, job stress, surgeries, a cancer scare, and then the death of a beloved pet in the past 3 months has lead to me falling into old habits to just "get by" until I could finish the thing causing me stress at work and actually take time to grieve the loss of my sister. STUPID choice on my part! Life didn't stop while I was trying to get myself back in order and I paid for it by putting on 14 pounds. I've lost 4 of that in the past week by making time for ME again and I know it's not going to be easy to NOT take the easy way out and go back to old eating patterns in the future, but I have to keep reminding myself that I'm worth more than that! Not to mention that there's now a voice in my head that tells me to "suck it up" because I'm sure my sister would still like to be here living the life she had with her husband and kids, so I should take advantage of the life I have and live it FULLY!

I'm 2 year and 2 months (as of today!) out of sugery and have no regrets at all! I can't begin to tell you how much BETTER I feel without carrying the extra weight. I can work-out daily and my joints don't hurt anymore. I actually enjoy clothes shopping again! I don't use my CPAP anymore unless I feel like it and I sleep great. Overall, it's been the BEST thing I've done for my health. I put some weight back on in the past 3 months due to stress/grief eating after the unexpected death of my only sister, but I'm getting everything back on track now and that's not something I would have done before surgery....probably because I didn't think the results would last! Now I know what it takes! Good luck!

I agree with those of you who have talked about people who think WLS is the cure-all for weight loss problems. I don't tell many people how I've lost the weight unless I know them better. People I know well actually take the time to hear about how this has been a process, and that it's a never ending process, because it's about taking better care of myself forever.... not just until I get to my goal weight.

My surgeon didn't set a real goal for me. They wanted me to do that. They said they'd be happy when I was in the 220's and I was like, "Are you FREAKING kidding me!" I was sure they'd set some unrealistic goal that matches all those growth charts that made me feel HUGE all my life....even when I was 145-150 pounds! Now it's more about how I feel and what I'm comfortable with as a lifestyle. I had a follow-up with my surgery/clinic just this week and she asked if I still had the same goal weight. It occurred to me that I really don't have a goal weight, I just want to be comfortable, healthy, and happy. I'd like to go down one more size in clothing, because I'm really enjoying shopping again! Whatever weight I am when that happens, that's my goal.

I'm one of those lucky people who could eat anything and nothing made me sick after surgery. I tried to pay attention to the serving size and the time in which they recommended my meal take. It's probably a bit different depending on your surgeon/dietician. I was to stop drinking 15 minutes before meals and take no more than 20 minutes for a meal and then not drink again for at least 40 minutes after the meal. The nutritionist told me to eat the Protein first and add the veggies and fruit if I wasn't full. She said, sometimes I may not have room for more than 3 green Beans. I thought "lady, you're nuts!" But, she was right!
In the very beginning, I measured everything. Then I learned that sometimes I "felt" full before I finished the serving and I stopped eating. Now I try to remember to record everything in My Fitness Pal and I measure for calories! Hang in there...you're doing great!

Sorry you're having to face this. I agree with the others. You CAN do this! There could be a multitude of reasons for your husband's attitude, but the only one who knows him and probably has the best idea is you. Regardless, this is about living a longer, healthier life! I would think that anyone who truly loves you will get on board...especially if they have NO OTHER option!

My surgeon didn't set a real goal for me. They wanted me to do that. They said they'd be happy when I was in the 220's and I was like, "Are you FREAKING kidding me!" I was sure they'd set some unrealistic goal that matches all those growth charts that made me feel HUGE all my life....even when I was 145-150 pounds! Now it's more about how I feel and what I'm comfortable with as a lifestyle. I had a follow-up with my surgery/clinic just this week and she asked if I still had the same goal weight. It occurred to me that I really don't have a goal weight, I just want to be comfortable, healthy, and happy. I'd like to go down one more size in clothing, because I'm really enjoying shopping again! Whatever weight I am when that happens, that's my goal.

I am thinking this thru right now myself so I was glad to see your post.
I plan to use the same approach as I did for my hysterectomy. I emailed my manager and told him that I needed some surgery, that was planned for mid year, and that the surgeon was shooting for June. I told him I wouldn't have a firm date until the surgery schedule opened up for that month (what my Dr. told me) and he really didn't question it. He just asked me if I was ok, and I told him everything would be just fine and thanks for asking. He left it at that and thanked me for letting him know in advance.
I never gave it a second thought. I plan to follow the same pattern for this surgery and I do not plan to tell anyone what the surgery is for. That is just my personal decision. If I didn't plan to use FMLA, I would just take vacation and say nothing.

Initially, after my surgery I was told not to snack. They were trying to break the "grazing" habit that many of us have issues with. However, in post surgery visits since, the nutritionist has not admonished me for snacking. They're just more concerned about counting the total number of calories in a day. Again, every surgeon/nutritionist could have different advise for their clients.

My husband and I both LOVE Quest bars. I've ordered them directly from the company because it's cheaper even with shipping than at GNC, Amazon, or Max Muscle types of stores from my experience. I don't know what grocery store chains you have in your area, but Hy-Vee is big in Iowa and the stores in the Des Moines area have most of the flavors in individual or by the box and they are the same price as the company when you take shipping costs into account. Most of the time when we want to stock up, we buy by the box because there's also a fuel saver value of 5 cents per box. (For those of you not from here, when you buy fuel saver items they accumulate on a card and you save money when fueling up at Casey's gas stations. 5 cents per gallon of gas with my example above.) Sometimes we leave the store with 30 cents per gallon off our gas price just for the Quest bars! I've tried all of the flavors. I wasn't wild about the Cookies and cream one (I may have been expecting too much) or the strawberry cheesecake one (for the same reason).
My favorites are:
chocolate Chip Cookie dough
Double chocolate Chip Cookie dough
Chocolate Peanut Butter
Smores
Apple Pie
Coconut Cashew
Brownie
White Chocolate Raspberry
My husband loves:
Peanut Butter Pie
PB & Jelly
vanilla Almond Crunch
I bring one for Breakfast at the office every day and drink 24 ounces before I have one and another 24 after (before having lunch). Rarely, do I feel hungry in between.

In April 2012, I was driving to work one sunny morning when my life changed. A 19 year old drunk driver drove into my lane and hit me head-on. I know just how lucky I am not only to be alive, but not to have been injured any worse than I was. I had 3 broken bones and spent 4 weeks in a wheelchair, 2 with a walker and cane, and weeks in physical therapy, but I'm still here! The problem was even after physical therapy, my joints hurt. I thought I just needed to work-out and lose weight. Uh, yeah, I was about 316 pounds, so that should have been enough of a clue! However, working out wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, because I was in pain during and after. I realized that I needed to take off the weight in order to make the exercise work for me. I had considered weight loss surgery before and had even gone to an informational meeting, but didn't follow through. It seemed too extreme! What I needed at this time was the extreme.
I had surgery Dec. 19,2012 by Dr. Teresa LaMasters. It was easily the BEST decision I've made to improve my health! I didn't have any problems. My insurance approved the procedure literally in less than 24 hours! I was fortunate that because of the car accident, my deductible was met and I didn't have to pay very much out of pocket for the procedure either. Nothing made me sick after surgery. My tastes changed some in that Protein drinks that I liked before surgery tasted like drinking Syrup after and I found that the only one I really like is chocolate powders?utm_source=BariatricPal&utm_medium=Affiliate&utm_campaign=CommentLink" target="_ad" data-id="1" >unjury. I also discovered Quest Protein Bars and love them! For about the first year, everything was easy. I got down to 209 pounds and stalled some. Some of the stall was due to the fact that I discovered I could eat anything and maintain for the most part as long as I worked out and didn't over do. So I'd gain and lose the same 5 pounds! (This is the point I should have been smacking myself in the head! lol) Things were going so smoothly for me, that my husband decided to have the surgery as well. He's 6'4 and was over 400 pounds. His surgery was June 2014. He's down 125 pounds so far.
Now we're to the part of my story that got me here. In October, my sister started to not feel good and went to the hospital. She came home and they thought she had a virus. Two weeks later, she was worse and they admitted her. Three days later, no one had answers and she was transferred to a bigger hospital. In the meantime, I'm working on an important report for the federal government that will help me gain "points" towards re-funding the grant for my program. I was also informed at this time that my employer didn't want to spend the money on a grant writer and that it was now "my job" to write the grant that funds my job and 3 others over the next 5 years. Oh, and did I mention I was supposed to do this in my spare time for no money? We're approaching Thanksgiving and my sister is still in the hospital without a diagnosis, but with dozens of tests run. The week of Thanksgiving, we hear she's going to get to come home! Yea! The next day, they decided they needed to put a stent in and that she can't leave yet. Two days later, they decided she had polycythemia vera. She never got to come home. She passed away on December 1. 12 days before her son's 22 birthday...22 days before her 25th wedding anniversary...during her daughter's first semester of college. It's just so surreal to have my best friend and sister be gone. Our family is fractured. Two days before the funeral, my husband had surgery on an elbow he'd injured. The thought of him with anesthesia terrified me. Then two weeks later, I had surgery. We made it through Christmas and needless to say, food was a comfort through all of this. On Dec. 26, I went for my yearly mammogram and got a call two days later that it was abnormal and I had to have another. From there, I went to a breast cancer specialst and was informed that I had to have a biopsy. (I'm thinking to myself, are you FREAKING kidding me!! Yes, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself!) Good news, NO CANCER! Whew! In the middle of all of this, I finished that stupid grant that turned into a nightmare and things were starting to look up! Then, honest to God, I should be in a country song...I came home last week to find one of our furry, four-legged children dead. ARGH!!!!
I've decided that if I've survived all of this, then I can DO ANYTHING!! Yes, I've gained 14 pounds since my lowest weight. However, I'm determined that this will not beat me!! I am so encouraged my the stories I've read here and am anxious to try some of the suggestions people have made. Thanks for giving me some inspiration!

We live in beef country! Our steak actually came from my sister's farm. We have an indoor Hamilton Beach grill/panini press that we use in the winter, otherwise we grill it outside. My husband might argue grilled is the only way to have steak!

@imadethelist- Yep! I've heard all of these..

"You look so much better"......so I looked awful before
"Don't you feel so much better?".....to be honest, I didn't feel that bad before
"OMG how much have you lost?".....none of your damn business
"You look great, I can't wait to see how far you go".....quit while you're ahead, what if this is it? Clearly that person thinks I have more to lose.
I'm just generally happy if someone says, "hey, you look great," and leaves it at that. It's not as if I didn't know I was big before and that I was happy being that size, so I really don't wany ANY comments that bring me back to that unhappy time in my life. I'd rather they say nothing at all and keep on walking! It's one thing if it's family or someone I'm close to because those comments are intended differently and are followed up with "you've done a great job!" or in my mom's case, "I'm so proud of you," which she'd tell me at any size!
On the other hand, the worst thing said to me as an adult was when I wasn't even at my heaviest and some drunk a-hole referred to me as a "cow" and I looked at him at said, "I can lose weight, but you'll ALWAYS be an ass!" (This is the look on his face after.) lol

1. IS the sleeve the best way to go...Or is the band the better way to go. I want to lose 100 lbs.

No one can answer that question for you. It's something you should discuss with your surgeon. There are pros and cons to both options and only you know your life and your situation, so only you can make the right decision for yourself. Sleeve definitely seems to be more common than band in terms of surgeries currently being performed and a lot of surgeons have stopped doing bands altogether, but that doesn't mean it might not still be the right choice for you.



2. I was thinking about going to Tijuana Mexico and getting it done because it's the cheapest option...Is this a good place to go? I can't afford a 30 k surgery at all.

I had my surgery done in TJ with Dr. Ariel Ortiz and it was an incredibly positive experience. There are many excellent surgeons in Mexico. You should do your research and feel free to read and post on the Self-Pay & Mexico sub-forums:

http://www.bariatricpal.com/forum/486-self-pay-mexico-gastric-sleeve-surgery/



3. I hear so many people talk about diet for the rest of your life....If that's the case...and you are dieting...why get the surgery? If Diet will work and you'll be dieting anyway...i'm confused about this aspect of it all.

Any weight loss surgery is just a tool. You still have to make good and responsible food choices and you need to also ensure that you are getting adequate amounts of the Vitamins, minerals, and nutrients you need to live. There is a LOT of emphasis on getting enough Protein post-op, because Protein is vital to your health and, since you can eat less food, you have to make sure it's the right KIND of food. A person who is consuming 3000 calories a day may have no problem getting in 65 grams or more of protein without paying attention. Someone who is only eating 800 calories a day still needs 65 grams of protein. So a much higher percentage of your calories have to come from protein-rich foods. So you still have to have discipline to eat the right things, you just won't need as much discipline to not overeat.



I've never had surgery....and am scared to death of it. But is this the best way to go, if i've tried everything else?

Obviously, most of us here have decided that WLS is our best option, otherwise we wouldn't be here! And if you ask most of us if we have any regrets, the most common answer you'll receive is that we regret not doing it sooner!

We live in beef country! Our steak actually came from my sister's farm. We have an indoor Hamilton Beach grill/panini press that we use in the winter, otherwise we grill it outside. My husband might argue grilled is the only way to have steak!

It's not fabulous, but at least it's not for long! I was so happy to get to pureed that I cannot even tell you! Best of luck to you!

It's not fabulous, but at least it's not for long! I was so happy to get to pureed that I cannot even tell you! Best of luck to you!

Congratulations at reaching your goal! Best wishes for continued success!

It's not fabulous, but at least it's not for long! I was so happy to get to pureed that I cannot even tell you! Best of luck to you!

Their comment: "man, surgery to lose weight, that's pretty extreme"
My reply: "yeah but dying early is more extreme"

A friend of mine told me her worst and it had me
Shuddering. There was
An attractive man she worked with for 8 years and he never talked to her smiled at her anything. After a year of her weight loss he was friendly. A few years later at a get together a woman who was her size pre op walked by while they were talking. He looks at her and shudders and said how disgusting that thing was. She realize then he couldn't even remember who she was. As he flirted with her. She just sat there a moment then looked at him and said, "you disgust me." And walked away. A lady at the end.

I think it's a mistake to think that the regain of 5 or 15 pounds is the end of the world.
Not long ago I posted that I thought it would make sense if WLS patients were *required* to gain 10 pounds and then figure out how to re-lose the weight.
Seriously!
If we can't figure out how to lose regained weight, I don't know how we're going to maintain our weight.
Just consider this next few months your graduate WLS course.
Very, very best to you both.

Sending you nothing but good vibes!! I feel where you're coming from. I lost weight pretty rapidly the first year to 16 or 18 months as well. Then I realized I could eat whatever I wanted and not get sick from anything and if I worked out, I pretty much stayed within a 2-3 pound range. That's all fine and dandy until life hits you in the face! The unexpected death of my sister, job stress, surgeries, a cancer scare, and then the death of a beloved pet in the past 3 months has lead to me falling into old habits to just "get by" until I could finish the thing causing me stress at work and actually take time to grieve the loss of my sister. STUPID choice on my part! Life didn't stop while I was trying to get myself back in order and I paid for it by putting on 14 pounds. I've lost 4 of that in the past week by making time for ME again and I know it's not going to be easy to NOT take the easy way out and go back to old eating patterns in the future, but I have to keep reminding myself that I'm worth more than that! Not to mention that there's now a voice in my head that tells me to "suck it up" because I'm sure my sister would still like to be here living the life she had with her husband and kids, so I should take advantage of the life I have and live it FULLY!

Sending you nothing but good vibes!! I feel where you're coming from. I lost weight pretty rapidly the first year to 16 or 18 months as well. Then I realized I could eat whatever I wanted and not get sick from anything and if I worked out, I pretty much stayed within a 2-3 pound range. That's all fine and dandy until life hits you in the face! The unexpected death of my sister, job stress, surgeries, a cancer scare, and then the death of a beloved pet in the past 3 months has lead to me falling into old habits to just "get by" until I could finish the thing causing me stress at work and actually take time to grieve the loss of my sister. STUPID choice on my part! Life didn't stop while I was trying to get myself back in order and I paid for it by putting on 14 pounds. I've lost 4 of that in the past week by making time for ME again and I know it's not going to be easy to NOT take the easy way out and go back to old eating patterns in the future, but I have to keep reminding myself that I'm worth more than that! Not to mention that there's now a voice in my head that tells me to "suck it up" because I'm sure my sister would still like to be here living the life she had with her husband and kids, so I should take advantage of the life I have and live it FULLY!