Jaxxx

I've never posted pictures on here before. My co workers found an old picture of me yesterday and wanted to take a picture to compare. We were all amazed at the results. It was very emotional for me. Down about 90 lbs in 6 months. Never been happier!

@Jaxxx. Great! Happy for you!

@@Jaxxx .. Thank you for this post. My surgeon submitted today and because I saw your post, I am going to give them one week then start calling. The Bariatric Center has many folks to keep track of, I just have me so I am going to stay on top of things. Best of luck!!

Ok, exhale, then work this approval process like it's your JOB! Call then, visit then at the office and smile each time! Best!

@@Jaxxx take action into your own hands! Call your insurance company and call the Dr. office and keep on top of them. The squeaky wheel gets the grease...so start squealing and make them hear you.
When I went through this process, I did it for my husband and myself and we each have different and dual insurance so we had to get double the paper work and approvals etc. I just stayed on top of all the Dr.s for testing and got copies of test results and kept copies of our paper work and kept calling the surgical coordinator and the insurance companies to be sure all the documentation was approved.
We both were scheduled 3 days apart in less then 3 months from the time we started the process
I wish you all the best!

I waited for 30 long, excruciating days before I got my approval. Hope you hear back soon!!

Waiting is the worst.

Hang in there. This exact thing happened to me as well. The nurse that processes the paperwork for approval went on vacation for 3 weeks and never submitted it. I had been waiting all that time for no reason.
The good news is once they processed it (that very same day I called) , I had an answer back from my insurance company within 12 hours. I could not believe how fast they turned it around.
I hope the same thing happens for you. Good luck and stay on them!

It's very stressful waiting. Hang in there. It's all worth it.

Hang in there you got this, this procedure is worth every preopt surgury requirement because you will be off and running into healthiest in no time . Good luck .

Sending hugs your way!

So I wanted to record my journey somehow, i was thinking about starting a blog, but because I am still on the fence about that, I am going to log my journey here. This way I can look back and see the struggles, and the rewards.

I have been overweight for a lot of my life. I am an emotional eater, I use food for love, for friendship, for boredom, for social purposes.. pretty much for everything. Food is definitely a drug for me. Well, let me rephrase, sugar, high fat foods, and salt, are a drug for me. I am most definitely not addicted to veggies. Lol

I have dieted for most of my life. I have gained and lost hundreds of pounds. I have tried pretty much every diet there is, and I have been successful in losing the weight… now keeping it off is another issue all together. My issues with food are primarily emotionally driven, and fear driven. I believe that food provides a certain high for me, and I turn to it whenever I start to feel scared. Let me explain that point a little bit, so I am 34 and single. I have had a good number of boyfriends and dates… but I have realized with dating, that I don’t have a lot of “self-worth” which leads me to date emotionally unavailable men, where I am over-compensating their lack of effort. When I come across an emotionally available man, I find something wrong with them, like if this guy is so great, why would he want me? There must be something wrong with him.. So I run from them. I find that when I “diet” lose a significant amount of weight, and start getting attention from men, I go for the “safe” man, the one that isn’t willing to give too much.. and when that inevitably fails and the relationship starts to fall apart, I EAT… I eat to protect myself, to make myself invisible again, and to keep myself safe. It is a vicious cycle!!! It is almost as if, I attract these men to prove to myself that I am not good enough, and like every self-fulfilling prophecy, when it happens, I want to protect myself from it ever happening again. In the back of my mind, I think… if I could just convince this man, that definitely likes me, but doesn’t want to fully commit, to commit to me – well then I have won, and then I will know I am good enough. Yeah, not so healthy, right?

Now don’t worry guys, I am in therapy, and have been for the most part of 10 years. I am working through these issues, I know where they stem from (an unavailable parent, and rocky childhood) and I really want to move past them. In the past few years I have turned to spirituality and meditation which has helped me tremendously!!

Last April, after losing 50+ pounds, I started dating a man who really liked me, and was extremely attractive! I really liked him, we started a relationship, and although there were red flags about some commitment issues, because they were not as BRIGHT red as past relationships, so I still moved forward. He cared about me, and showed me, he was there for me, and wanted to be a part of my life, but when push came to shove, he didn’t want the commitment that I wanted. Even though I knew it wasn’t my fault, this time, and even though I had evolved enough to realize that his fears had nothing to do with my self-worth.. my old friend, food came back into play. I gained 70 pounds since April of 2014. I know why I gained the weight, I wanted to “protect” myself from being hurt again. In the process of gaining weight, and in the process of losing hope that I will never lose weight and keep it off, I did some serious inner work. LOADS of self-reflection, and I am really grasping the concept of self-love (which is not coming easily…lol) I was working with my therapist on all of this, and truly feel like I am grasping these things and accepting myself with my flaws instead of constantly trying to be something that I am not. So we started talking about the next step, how can I get the outer me to match the inner me? She suggested that with all of my work over that I have done over the years, that I should consider weight loss surgery. I started doing research and I decided that at this point in my life, I think I would be mentally and emotionally ready for that kind of change. I think it would be a great tool for me to use so that I don’t turn to food for comfort, and I am forced to use the methods that I have been working on over the past few years. I want to take the first 18 months like I am a baby learning new ways to cope with life, and not relying on my “false friend”.

So that is where my journey started, since then I have found a surgeon and I am working on my preop requirements. I am hoping to get sleeved in May. I am definitely scared that I will fail, and I am scared of long term results, but I am ready to try. Being the size I am now, is not only hindering my confidence, but it is hard to move! Joint pain is real! And I am tired of not being able to run around all day without getting tired. I feel like a 50 year old woman at 34. I don’t want to worry about not being able to fit into a seat, or a booth. I don’t want worry about not fitting in an airplane seat. I don’t want to think about how I am a hop skip and a pound away from having diabetes. I don’t want to think about the fact that I may not be able to have children because of my size. I don’t want to worry about summer coming, and how I need to really lose 20 lbs before I will wear a dress. Or looking at all the clothes in my closet that range in sizes that do not fit me. I don’t want my life to revolve around food. I don’t want to worry that I will not have enough to eat. I don’t want my world to revolve around a number on the scale. I want to feel good about myself, and loosen, if not completely remove the shackles that are my weight. I am ready for this. I know it is going to be hard work, I am not afraid of working hard…. But I am afraid that if I keep gaining weight, I will never be able to lead the active life that I want. So this is it, this is my most drastic and final attempt at significant weight loss. I know I can do it! Here we go!

I had surgery on June 11 2013 and it was the best feeling. Feel free to ask me any questions here are some updated pics  

Right after surgery the day of you cannot have anything to drink at all. You have to wait till the next day when they do a swallow test on you to check for leaks. When I woke up from surgery they had me on great pain meds. I did feel pressure in my chest from gas from surgery. My mouth was so super dry. They can give you these sponge things on a stick to run around in your mouth after you dip them in Water. Those were a lifesaver. I was woozy that night and they kept me on oxygen and I wore leg compressor things to prevent blood clots. I also had my catheter removed that night and starting peeing on my own. Day 2 after the swallow test when the doc said it was okay I started on Clear Liquids. They give you 1 oz of water and it has to take 15 to 30 minutes to drink that. I brought Isopure to the hospital and tried to start on some of that too. They will bring you a plate with Jello and broth. I could barely get any in. You have to record what you do get in and when you go to the bathroom so the nurses can monitor and they know when you are ready to go home. I stayed 2 nights total but some people only stay 1. Bring Chapstick and gas ex strips. On day 2 I used the gas ex and it helped. When I got home I progressed to full liquid like shakes on day 4 I think. I made the shakes and drank everything out of little medicine cups so I would only sip. I have lost almost 50 lbs total. I am over 2 months out and eat what I want now. My tastes have totally changed and I am not indulgent anymore. I gave up caffeine and soda a month before surgery. I used to eat sweets every day but now they just leave a bad taste in my mouth and I don't feel great later so I rarely eat any sweets. I drink water only and get my Protein from food now. I used shakes till about a month out. I do drink some milk every now and then too. I get hungry every couple hours now after my 1st meal but in the beginning I had no hunger for 2 weeks. I have never had dumping syndrome. I did have diarrhea and gas a lot after surgery but now I am very regular.

My husband's fear is the risk. After the EGD the nurse told him he was just insecure about me losing weight. His reply was "are you trying to insinuate that no one else would want her the way she is but me?" Scored some points with me, I am not going anywhere but I have to feel better about the way I look for me!! The insecurity will pass with your guys once they see a happy, secure and more attentive partner!!

I don't know how he found out, I really hadn't told many people at work, but I guess people talk. Anyway, it came up in conversation, and he started questioning my motivation, saying that didn't I worry that I was taking that easy way out. That if I just worked hard and stayed disciplined, I could do it all on my own. He made it sound so simple. I could tell he thought he was being positive, but he was being condescending, something he has a reputation for doing.
First of all, it's not so simple. I am well over 200+ lbs over. I have gone past the point of no return. And while I make no excuses for how I got this way, I know it's all on me, and I haven't made the best choices in my past. But I'm at the point where medical intervention is required, and my doctor wholeheartedly agrees (I love her by the way!). And I'm going to do this like I do everything in my life. To the best of my abilities. Despite his opinion, I know this will most certainly not be easy. In fact, I want to it to be hard. It will make it that much more worth it once I reach my goal.
And second. This is life and death, I'm in my mid 30s now, and the clock is ticking. If I keep going on this path, I will not have much time left on this planet. I am not concerned with preserving my honor in his eyes. I have family and friends who are all united in their support of me on this. And he's just some guy we hired last year to do . . .I really don't know what he does.
So for those that say, we're cheating, or taking the easy way out. Kindly direct them to engage in intercourse with themselves. Rant over.