HeavyHeartland

The last time I saw my doctor, I got yelled at (figuratively) for not measuring my food. Measuring food is such a non-natural thing. It's so tough to go out to dinner, order a nice meal, and then whip out a measuring cup. How embarassing. More embarassing, however, would be going back to the doctor's office without the information they are requesting.

The doctor told me for my next fill, it is imperative that they know how much I can eat. I should measure this by eating 1/4 cup of meat, 1/4 of veggies, and continuing this until I am full. So, this weekend, that is what I did. One night I had chicken and green beans, another night I had meatballs and sweet potatoes. Currently I can eat somewhere between 1 1/2 cups and 2 cups of food. The other thing they always want to know is how long do I stay full; the answer is somewhere between 2 and 3 hours.

Another thing I've learned is that if it's not on "the plan" I should shut up about it. I've been eating protein bars for breakfast. Last time my doctor said that was no good; I should be drinking protein drinks instead. The two are identical in protein levels, but the bars are half the price. I'm still eating the bars, but if they ask today, I've been drinking the drinks. Shhh, don't tell.

Ah yes, today -- Fill #3. Today is my last free fill, according to their timeline (90 days), so I'm hoping this one is good. I suspect the reason they've been dragging their feet and just filling me up a little at a time is so that they can get one or two paid fills out of me after I've exceeded the 90 day grace period. Hopefully I can get enough liquid in my band today to last me for a long time.

I agree -- your husband's reaction is probably an outpouring of other emotions related to the upcoming changes.

As the husband of a bander (and now a bander myself) I can tell you, there are a lot of mixed emotions. Sure guys want a hot wife, but there are a lot of concerns that go with that. Most of them are unfounded, but they are still issues that go along with them. For example, once you're hot, you will probably attract the attention of other men as well. That can trigger insecurity and worry in men. A lot of the issues I had with my wife weren't how the surgery was going to affect her, but how it was going to affect ME. When she could only eat 1/2 a cup, how were we going to go out and eat with our friends? My wife and I used to eat out for lunch every day -- what were we going to do after that? My wife prepared all the meals around our house; was she still going to cook for the 3 of us when she's not eating anything?

Like I said, a lot of these fears are unfounded, but these are things I'm sure he's thinking -- I know I was. The best thing you can do is talk to him about how things are going to change, and more imporantly, how things are not going to change.

I agree -- your husband's reaction is probably an outpouring of other emotions related to the upcoming changes.

As the husband of a bander (and now a bander myself) I can tell you, there are a lot of mixed emotions. Sure guys want a hot wife, but there are a lot of concerns that go with that. Most of them are unfounded, but they are still issues that go along with them. For example, once you're hot, you will probably attract the attention of other men as well. That can trigger insecurity and worry in men. A lot of the issues I had with my wife weren't how the surgery was going to affect her, but how it was going to affect ME. When she could only eat 1/2 a cup, how were we going to go out and eat with our friends? My wife and I used to eat out for lunch every day -- what were we going to do after that? My wife prepared all the meals around our house; was she still going to cook for the 3 of us when she's not eating anything?

Like I said, a lot of these fears are unfounded, but these are things I'm sure he's thinking -- I know I was. The best thing you can do is talk to him about how things are going to change, and more imporantly, how things are not going to change.

After over a month at 4.5cc in my 14cc band, I had fill #2 a couple of days ago. They added 2 more cc's of fluid, bringing me to 6.5cc.

I showed up to my doctor's appointment pretty mad and frustrated. Right now, it seems like I went through this surgery for nothing. Although I've lost a little over 50 pounds, none of it can be attributed to the lapband surgery. The majority of my weight loss came from the strict liquid diet I was on for several weeks. When you go from eating fast food and buffets 2-3 times a day to a strict liquid diet, you're going to lose weight!

Between my first post-surgery meeting and my first fill appointment, I actually put on a couple of pounds. All of a sudden, I began to panic. I went through all of this and now I'm putting on weight? I wasn't happy about it and neither was my doctor. I don't take criticism too well. In the office I just sat and nodded.

I decided I was *NOT* going to go through that again, so about three weeks ago I signed up at our work gym. My employer said they would pay for my membership, and the gym is next to the building I work in, so there's really no reason not to be going. I had a co-worker show me some simple weight training exercises which I've been doing 3 days a week, and I've been walking on the treadmill 2 days a week for 30 mins, and 3 days a week (the days I also do the weight training) for 15-20 mins. Since my first fill I had put on another five pounds, but in two weeks of going to the gym I lost 13, which put me 8 down since my last doctor's visit.

The reason I got mad at the doctor's office was because I knew they were going to say something like, "see? The band's working!" The fact is, the band is NOT working! I'm not losing any weight due to this stupid lapband, I'm losing weight because I'm exercising!!!

Surprisingly, my doctor's appointment didn't go that way at all. They were genuinely shocked that I had lost weight. "Most patients put on weight during this period," they said. I talked with the nurse about my frustrations and she said that everything I was feeling was normal. She said at this point I should have very little restriction.

The only point of contention we had was about measuring food. They kept asking me how much food could I eat and my response was, "as much as I could eat before the surgery." Apparently, that's not the right answer. They keep saying I should be measuring out my meals (1/2 a cup, starting with 1/4 a cup of meat followed by 1/4 of a cup of veggies, continuing until I'm full). I can't imagine doing that when I can eat an 8oz steak with veggies, and everything else. Plus, I really don't understand how you weigh breakfast burritos and whatnot a 1/4 cup at a time. Do you cut it up and stuff it in a cup? I guess I don't get it.

Anyway ... at 6.5cc I am starting to feel some restriction. This morning I had a couple of scrambled eggs, and I feel full. The full feeling is not like before, like on Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving, my belly used to get full. Now when I get full, my chest gets tight. Before, when I was full, it felt GOOD. Now, being full doesn't particularly feel good. I stop eating because it's uncomfortable now. I guess either way works, one just feels a lot better.

I have another fill appointment in a week and a half, so I'm going to hit the gym hard until then and try to go in with another significant loss.

I was supposed to go back and have my band filled tighter three weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had to travel out of town that week, and I've been in meetings the past two weeks which has prevented me from getting out of the office. I'm scheduled for a fill the week after next.

With a 14cc band and a 4.5cc fill, I can feel absolutely no restriction. In fact, over the past few weeks, I've started eating things that should be clogging up my band, and they're not. All the things that my wife (who is also banded) can not eat -- bread, rice, tortillas, doughnuts -- I've had no problem getting down.

I'm pretty disappointed in the whole thing right now. I have a stomach full of scars and a band inside me that's not doing anything. The doctor said he would like to see me lose weight before the next visit, but with the band not doing anything at all, I'm trying to lose weight through diet and exercise -- two things that weren't going so well for me BEFORE the surgery, which is why I HAD the surgery.

Right now I feel like I had the surgery and went through everything for nothing. Maybe if and when I start to feel restriction, I'll change my mind.

I got my first fill last week and I feel ... nothing. I mean, I can eat almost as much as I could before the surgery. Not quite, but almost. My wife and I went to Golden Corral for lunch the other day and I had a huge salad, a bowl of soup, and a plate full of veggies and Chicken. The types of food I ate weren't terrible, but all this talk of only eating 2oz of meat? Not yet. I almost wish I could experience PB or clogging just so I would know what it felt like.

I'm currently at 4.5 on a 14cc band and I definitely need some more juice.

Are you in Oklahoma? If so, where are you having your surgery done? My wife had hers at Weightwise; I had mine in Norman.

Yesterday, January 16th, I had my first band fill.

Over the past two weeks, I've put on five pounds.The doctor asked how that happened; I told him it was pretty easy. "I switched back to real food and I quick walking!" He wasn't thrilled with that answer. He asked how much restriction I was feeling and I told him none. It's true. Over the past couple of weeks I've been able to eat everything I've tried.

In my 14cc band, I got a 4.5cc fill to start with. I can feel a bit of restriction now, but it's not "tight." I'm supposed to do liquids for 24 hours and I did that with no problem. For lunch I had some soup with beans and ham in it and it went down fine. Tonight for dinner I'll try something with a bit more substance to see how that goes.

The band fill procedure itself was a non-issue. You get a shot in your belly, but that's it. It doesn't hurt any more (or less) than a regular shot.

The doctor said I should try eating regular food this weekend and, if I'm still not feeling restriction, to call him and he'll add some more fluid to my band next week. We'll see how this weekend goes. The whole point of lapband surgery is to have restriction and feel full on less food. So far, that hasn't really happened.

For about three months in the mid 1990s, my doctor put me on Fen-Phen, the miracle weight loss drug. For me, the drugs curbed my appetite and helped me rapidly lose weight. My guess is, the pills were 50% appetite supressant and 50% speed. The only reason I mention Fen-Phen is, I was losing weight without trying. I continued to eat fast food and buffets several times a week and I still lost weight. Then a bunch of people reported heart problems and the drug was pulled off the market. Bye bye, Fen-Phen. Bye bye, weight loss.

For the first month after I had lapband surgery, I lost weight like crazy. 50 pounds, in fact. Sure, most of that was due to the crazy liquid/soft diets, but still, weight lost is weight lost, right? I did minimal exercise, stayed full, and continued to lose weight.

Since moving to regular food, my weight loss has tapered off and, over the past week, it has all but stopped. Food wise, I am almost back to my old eating habits. Well, that's not true -- I'm eating better, but I'm still eating a lot of food.

Tonight I'm setting my old treadmill back up to get back on track. I want to lose a few more pounds before my band fill next week. Although I haven't gained any weight, I guess this is just a reminder that the weight's not going to lose itself; I'm going to have to work to get it off.

Last week I went to my "2 Week Follow Up Appointment" , which for some reason, they scheduled four weeks after my surgery. The first thing you do is weigh you, and the nurse was shocked to see I'd lost 50 pounds. Then I told her it had really been four weeks. She was still happy about the weight loss, but less scared.

Once I was back in the room another nurse came in and checked my surgical scars. "These look great for only two weeks!" she said. Actually, it's been four weeks, I explained to her. At one point she asked me why they scheduled my "2 Week Follow Up Appointment" at four weeks and I didn't have an answer. I have no idea!

As I was leaving, they scheduled my first band fill. The nurse at the window said they would schedule it in four weeks, which would be six weeks after surgery. I told her that I was four weeks out. She then asked me why I had my "2 Week Follow Up Appointment" at four weeks. Again, I didn't know what to say. After confirming my surgery date in the computer, she changed my band fill for two weeks away -- January 16th, I believe was the date.

Every year for Christmas, my wife and I invite our families over for Christmas Eve and we all exchange presents, talk, but most importantly, eat. That last word made me really nervous this year for a few of reasons. One, the week of Christmas, I was still on mushy food. Two, I know I'm not supposed to be eating sweets (even if they're mushy). And three, I don't want to ruin other people's holidays just because I can't eat, you know? I'm the one who had lapband surgery, not them.

And you know what? For the most part, I worried over nothing. This year a lot of people made sugar-free deserts. My wife made a sugar-free peanut butter pie that was terrific! Someone brought a bean dip with cheese and salsa that I mixed together and ate with a spoon. I even had a couple of Christmas cookies that the kids made (don't tell Santa). Instead of two or three plates of food, I only had one, and instead of half a two-liter of Diet Coke, I had water.

And you know what? Everybody still had a good time. Everybody ate what they wanted to eat and no one made a big deal out of what I was having. To tell the truth, everyone was walking around so much with their plates that I'm not sure anyone even noticed, or cared.

I think people (co-workers and family) are losing interest in what I eat on a day to day basis, which is pressure off of me. I didn't have lapband surgery to become the center of attention. Quite the opposite, actually.

You've made a good point -- there are so many other things that affect people's weight loss other than what they eat. Living with an "eater" is one. My wife was banded last March and for the past nine months, we were probably a lot like you and your husband. I wanted to eat out all the time, where it seemed like a waste of time for my wife. It's difficult but you'll find a way through it.

Don't be too hard on your mom. It's hard to know what to say people who've had (or are going to have) lapband. I've had several awkward conversations with family and co-workers, all who want to talk all about what I can eat and what I'm eating during every meal. Sometimes I feel like saying, "howzabout you worry about your food and I'll worry about mine!"

As for that co-worker you mentioned ... sad to say, but that happens. I've had some people shun me since the surgery and some people be nicer to me. It's weird, and noticable. At the end of the day all you can say is that you do the surgery for you, and f other people.

Last night was my mother-in-law's 60th birthday party, which they had at a local steak house. As I am just starting my fourth week (soft foods) so I knew steak was out. The restaurant's menu was really limited -- although in their defense, it IS a steak house. Pretty much my options were steak, steak, and more steak. They had no soup (my primary choice when eating out right now) and no mashed potatoes (my backup plan). Near the bottom of the menu I found their very small seafood selection; shrimp, or salmon. I remember reading or hearing that shrimp qualifies as a soft food, so that's what I ordered.

After choosing the shrimp, the waitress wanted to know what side items I wanted. The shrimp came with rice (which I couldn't eat) and I had my choice of a baked potato (can't have), french fries (can't have), or green beans (maybe). I picked green beans. Then the waitress wanted to know what kind of salad I wanted. Finally, I levelled with her. "Look, I can only eat soft foods or liquids right now. Do you have mashed potatoes, or soup maybe?" No, of course not. And what options did she give me? I could sub the rice for green beans, and the salad for more green beans. I couldn't imagine eating three servings of green beans so I told her I would just pass on the salad.

Eventually dinner came and I got my shrimp, green beans, rice and toast. The rice was easy enough to avoid and I gave the toast away to my son. That left me with the shrimp and the green beans.

I popped the first shrimp into my mouth and -- WOW -- it was terrific! I barely chewed the first one and popped a second one into my mouth. Then I had a few bites of green beans. And then I felt it; the green beans weren't going down. They were sitting there in my throat.

Oh, SHIT. My first meal in public, and I was going to puke. I got up with a panicked look and quickly walked outside. Walking helped, apparently. When I got outside, I felt the shrimp slide down, followed by the green beans. Thank goodness! I really wasn't looking forward to puking in the restaurant's parking lot.

I returned to the table and everyone was concerned. I told them everything was fine, something just didn't go down the right way. I can tell you what, I chewed the HELL out of the rest of that shrimp. I mean, I chewed them until they were little tiny shrimpy bits. I think I made four bites out of each one, and then chewed those tiny bites to bits.

I've been able to put down lots and lots of liquid and pureed foods. I was under the impression that my band was not doing anything for me currently. Last night, I was proved wrong!

Wowee, what a hottie -- you look great! Whatever you are doing, KEEP IT UP!

I'm totally stealing that Reese's recipe. I am missing me some peanut butter and chocolate.

Three words, sister: Milk of Magnesia. I had the exact same problem and in fact my doctor suspected some of my shoulder pain was because of the lack of a bowel movement. A little MoM will get things "flowing" so-to-speak and back on the right track.

Last week was supposed to be pureed foods, but I ended up doing liquids most of the week before moving to mushies a few days early. Let's face it, getting pureed food is pretty difficult while travelling on the road, but mushies are a little easier to come by. While probably not the greatest choices, I had some mashed potatoes from KFC and an order of pintos and cheese (mushed beans with cheese on top) from Taco Bell. And man oh man did they taste good compared to the steady stream of protein drinks I've been gulping down over the past 20 days.

I've noticed that with soft foods, I can eat way more than I expected to be able to. This morning I had two scrambled eggs and was barely full. For lunch I had a serving of mashed potatoes, followed by some leftover egg from breakfast. It was tough to cheat on the liquids (everything was measured), but when it comes to solids it seems like, at least right now, eating too much is easy to do.

My first official follow up meeting with my doctor is December 28th (next Friday). I suspect at that time he'll schedule a fill for me. Then, things will begin to kick in.

If you're still hungry, don't forget about Jell-O and sugar-free popcicles. Those are fair game during the liquid portion and can really help you feel full in between meals.

I'm on the road this week for work. I'm also on Week 3 of my post-op diet. Weeks 1 and 2 were liquids only -- Week 3 was supposed to be "pureed foods." After two weeks of protein drinks, Jell-O and pudding I was really looking forward to pureed foods, but it turns out, it's pretty hard to eat pureed foods while you're on the road. Have you ever tried ordering baby food or mashed bananas from a drive-thru? Not simple.

I stopped in a convenient store during my road trip in search of something to eat. Nothing. I couldn't even find skim or low fat milk there. Oh well. I've got plenty of powdered goods to last me throughout the week, so I guess I'll just keep on doing that for the time being. Boy, I sure was looking forward to those pureed foods.

My doctor put me on a four-week post-op diet. Weeks 1 and 2 are a liquid only diet. Week 3 consists of pureed foods, and Week 4 consists of soft foods. Although technically the end of my second week isn't until next Tuesday, I'm shaving a couple of days off the two week period and calling Sunday the last day of Week 2. I'll be starting Week 3 on Monday.

The New Dimensions protein variety packs contain seven packs. Six of them are what I'd call desserts: vanilla, strawberry, chocolate, hot chocolate, chocolate pudding, etc. Only one of them, Cream of Chicken, isn't. My mid-day snacks are Cookies and Cream protein mixes. All of this sounded great pre-surgery, but let me tell you, eating four or five desserts a day for two weeks gets old. Fast.

I've bought some of that flavorless protein power and have been dumping it into cans of Cream of (Whatever) soup -- Cream of Chicken, Cream of Mushroom, Cream of Celery, etc. I never thought something like Cream of Celery soup would taste so good to me, but it sure is a nice break from all the sweet drinks. Next time around, I'll be buying some non-sweet drinks and mixes.

I can't remember if I mentioned it here in the blog or not, but my daily protein goal is 115g, which basically means eating five times a day. By late in the evening I'm not even hungry and I'm having to force down these shakes, but I'm trying to adhere to doctor's orders.

In other news, my shoulder pain is almost gone completely now. Occasionally it'll still flare up, but over the past 3 days the worst it's got is maybe a 2 out of 10. Sure beats the 10 out of 10s I was having just a few days ago.

I'm on day six of recovery. I have almost no stomach pain at all. My stiches and incisions don't bother me in the least. What I AM experiencing, however, is extremely painful shoulder pain.

According to Google and the myriad of websites I've read over the past few days, shoulder pain is a very common side effect of any type of laproscopic surgery. Apparently during laproscopic surgery, doctors "balloon" their patients full of carbon dioxide gas in order to give themselves more working room. One theory states that the gas rises up to the shoulder area, causing the pain. Another theory states that the nerves that run to the shoulder are located near where the incisions are made, and the gas in that area is pressing on the nerves, which causes the pain in your shoulder. I don't know which is true, but I can tell you it freakin' hurts. My shoulder has hurt 10x more than any other part of my surgical experience.

Both through Google and this website, several people have offered various cures. I will pass them along to you.

Gas-X - the most common theory is that this pain is caused by excess gas remaining in your system. By taking some chewable Gas-X pills, you can get the gas out. Plus, it gives you something to blame your loud farts on. The Gas-X did seem to relieve some of my stomach pressure, but didn't help the shoulder situation.

Peppermint Tea - Another common remedy is drinking peppermint tea. I tried it. Didn't do anything for me, but it tastes good so nothing really loss in trying it.

Heating Pad/Icy Hot - I don't know if a heating pad is supposed to rid you of shoulder pain, but it sure felt good to sleep on one the past couple of nights. Didn't cure the problem, but did seem to alleviate the pain temporarily.

Pooping - After giving up hope, I called my doctor. His first question was, "when was your last bowel movement?" I've only had one in the past six days. Thinking he might have been on to something, I drank some Milk of Magnesia. Without getting graphic, let's just say that stuff does what it advertises it does. The theory here is that the colon is pressing on those same swolen nerves, which the brain registers as shoulder pain. This did seem to help, and I haven't had much pain today.

If you have any other wisdom to add to the list, please do.

Congratulations on your decision, and welcome the club!

Twilight, that's awful. It's true what they say, the ones closest to us are the ones that can hurt us the most. "To heck with them" is milder language than I would have used, I assure you. Keep your chin up and know that for every person that decides for some crazy reason not to be your friend for this reason, you have found a place where people WANT to be your friend!

I had lapband surgery on Monday. Today's Thursday, so I thought I would type up a few notes about how I've been feeling and how recovery has gone so far. The reason for these entries are two-fold; one, in a year from now I'm looking forward to going back and reading some of these older entries, and two, for anyone considering the surgery or about to have it, I thought I would share what I've gone through you you'll know what to expect.

Day 1, Post-Op (Tuesday)

It's been 25 years since I've had surgery (and I'm only 34) so I really don't remember what the last one was like. Right now, my torso is sore. I'm sore on the inside and the outside. I can feel that my stomach inside is sore, but I can also feel all my stitches. They don't hurt that much, but they feel tight. When I move around, I'm aware of them. I ended up taking a couple of naps throughout the day simply to rest. I've taken two doses of Loritab to get me through the day. On a scale of 1 to 10 I would say the most I've felt is a 5 or 6. After the Loritab, things go down to a 1 or maybe even a 0. Today I wore a t-shirt, pajama bottoms, and slip on shoes. I didn't wear socks because I couldn't put them on (too sore to bend over). Most of the day was spent hanging around the house, either sitting in my rocker, sitting at the computer, or lying in bed. The stitches "pull" every time I stand up and I'm afraid to do too much. They also felt tight during the ride home from the hospital; a coat held over my tummy helped the bouncing feel better.

Day 2, Post-Op (Wednesday)

Feeling much better. In fact, went shopping with my dad after taking a dose of Loritab. Walked around Toys R Us for 20-30 minutes, doing some Christmas shopping. Was able to get in to and out of his truck easily. Came home, rested a bit on the computer. Later, went for a ride with the wife to pick up the son at school, followed by a quick trip by work to say "hi" to everyone. After that tour, I felt like I had overdone it. I was tired and my shoulder was really aching. I've heard various stories about shoulder pain related to this surgery (everything from nerves to anesthesia), but hopefully that will get better soon. To be honest, my shoulder is the only thing that really hurts constantly at this point. I can feel my stitches if I twist, turn or bend the wrong way, but I'm already starting to forget about them.

Day 3, Post-Op (Thursday)

The wife went back to work today, so it's just been me around the house. Watched a couple of movies, made myself some soup, and just having a good time in general. I'm going back to picking up the boy from school today and I don't see any problems with driving. I took my first full shower since coming home from the hospital and it felt great. I could have taken one earlier but I didn't feel comfortable touching the stitches -- not pain, just worry. Everything went fine and I scrubbed from head to toe. I was even able to bend over and get the shampoo from the floor. After the shower, I was even able to put socks on, so there! I wouldn't want to run a marathon at this point, but if I had to return to my desk job tomorrow I'd be okay. I'm still a little sore around the edges and my shoulder still hurts, but for the most part I'd say I'm ... oh, 75% back to normal. Maybe 80%. I feel pretty good.

I too am amazed at the different information provided from different doctors and hospitals. My wife was banded earlier this year at a different place than I was and just the different information between these two places alone is astounding. For example, her place said a little caffiene is okay, while mine says no way. I have seen some that say a little carbonation is okay, while mine says no to that too.

I made it! My lapband surgery was a success, and I'm alive and doing well. Thanks to everyone who offered me even the slightest amount of support during this time. The phone calls, e-mails and blog comments were all very kind. Thank you all very much.

My adventure began Monday morning with a 7:15am check-in at the hospital. I had blood work (poorly) drawn by a girl barely old enough to drive. From there it was off to the surgery check-in room, where I was soon met by my wife, and shortly after, my mother.

After changing out of my street clothes and into my hospital gown, I was told my surgery would take place at 8:45am. I had an IV hooked up. Somewhere around this time my dad showed up as well. My parents and wife chatted about different topics while I generally stared off into space. It was hard to think about anything specific, but I was sure glad to be surrounded by familiar faces and voices. Some of the others waiting in the surgery area were alone, which seemed really sad to me. As 8:45am rolled around, a nurse walked by to inform us that the doctor was running at least 90 minutes behind, which eventually turned into 120 minutes. The hospital bed I was lying on was not met for long-term occupancy, and before long my tailbone was aching something fierce.

Upon entering the hospital I was given a wrist tag with my name, surgery information and a bar code printed on it. When they finally came to get me for surgery, they checked the tag and found it was wrong. Boy did that cause me to momentarily panic. The last thing I wanted to do was wake up missing a leg – or, worse yet, a woman! The tag confusion was quickly rectified, and shortly thereafter I was en route to the pre-op waiting room.

There, I met the anesthesiologist. We went over what I would see and feel and experience. The nurse was also nice. From there, I parted ways with the family and began the ride back to the operating room. Once there, I slid from the bed I'd been riding on to the operating table. As the anesthesiologist approached I asked him how long it took for the anesthesia to kick in. He said, “Watch this.”

When I cracked open my eye a split second later I was in the recovery room with a nurse sitting next to me. “You're surgery's over, everything went fine,” she said. “Jesus, is that you?” I asked. “No, I'm a nurse,” she replied. “Well, that's good news,” I said, and closed my eyes again.

The entire procedure took around 30 minutes, with another 30 or so in recovery. From there I was whisked into one of the hospital's private rooms. It wasn't as nice as my wife's room was when she had her surgery, but it was adequate. They must've really pumped me full of anesthesia, as I nodded off and on between noon and 4pm or so. During a lot of that time I was awake but with my eyes closed. I could hear the conversations around me but it took too much effort to respond to them. Instead I listened, and rested.

Around 4:30 or so one of the nurses came around and said that the more I moved around the better off I would be, so I made my way out of the hospital bed and into one of the chairs within the room. From there I made a few phone calls, watched America's Funniest Home Videos on the television, and just rested in general. My mom stuck around for a bit while my wife went to go pick up the kids from school. Nothing too exciting there. My wife did bring the kids by to see me for a few minutes. I was a bit nervous about them bumping into my stitches or something but they were extremely calm the entire visit. Around the time they arrived my mom went home. The wife and the kids only stayed for about ten minutes and then they too left.

About an hour later, dinner was served, consisting of chicken broth, diluted apple juice, decaf tea, decaf coffee, and diet Jell-O; 30 milliliters every 30 minutes. I couldn't come close to finishing it.

One of the male nurses came by and mentioned the Monday Night Football game. I flipped the game on and ended up watching the first half while sitting in the chair and the second half while lying in bed. I think the game ended shortly before ten o'clock, which seemed like a good time for bed. My wife came back up to the hospital around 10pm to stay the night. It was really comforting to have her there. She helped with lots of little things like IV tubes getting tangled and helping me get water. It is nice to have someone by your side during times like that.

Tuesday morning went just as quickly. Shortly after the new day's nurses came by to introduce themselves, my surgeon's assistant came by to release me around 8:30am. Breakfast was served – another tray just like the first, with yellow Jell-O taking the place of red. I ate what I could. Through the magic of Loritab, I was feeling well enough this morning to take a shower on my own. There is very little pain, per se; a bit of an upset and bruised stomach, and six tiny incisions, all with two or three staples each (they're all covered in tape still, so I don't know exact sizes yet). By 10am my wife and my dad had arrived. I made the honorary ride outside in a sleek wheelchair. Dad drove my truck home and I rode in the wife's van.

For the next two weeks I'm on a liquids-only diet. That's followed by two weeks of soft foods, before returning to normal grub (smaller portions, of course). I took the entire week off so I'll be relaxing around the house, most likely with either a joystick or a keyboard in my hand.

I'm looking forward to a new tomorrow.