Debbieduck4

I'm terrified of gaining weight back. I can't stop thinking about, lost 86lbs in 7 months. I'm at 21 bmi so normal weight. Now I think I'll get it all back. I feel like I can't relax and just enjoy my weight loss, I journal food every day in getting in about 1200/1400 cal a day 100 gr Protein. My next nutritionist appt in December 17th, I feel I need more guidance on how to maintain my weight.

So I've lost over 80 pounds by following my doctor's plan as ordered. I have a whole new me and feel so blessed! I do go off track sometimes though and even just one bite of something wrong makes me so incredibly anxious. I worry constantly that I'm going to gain back the weight and will have gone through all of this for nothing. It's almost as if it's too good to be true. I just started seeing the counselor at our weight loss clinic and she says it's a normal stage. Just wondering if others feel anxious and worried like this as well?

Hi Steph I missed this Halloween Challenge... Will there be a Thanksgiving one?

Thank you everyone for your responses to my post... It helps to know I'm not alone. I think for me, the feeling scared and nervous part has to do with that I finally found the answer to my very long struggle with weight and am so thankful and happy that I wonder at times if it will last. But, I am not going to focus on that... I am taking this gift I've been given and will continue to do my part by eating right, exercising, seeing my counselor, and remembering to stay diligent (as one of you said)... Life is pretty great right now!

Thank you everyone for your responses to my post... It helps to know I'm not alone. I think for me, the feeling scared and nervous part has to do with that I finally found the answer to my very long struggle with weight and am so thankful and happy that I wonder at times if it will last. But, I am not going to focus on that... I am taking this gift I've been given and will continue to do my part by eating right, exercising, seeing my counselor, and remembering to stay diligent (as one of you said)... Life is pretty great right now!

I feel a little nervous about regain but I try to stay healthy. I don't obsess about it as much. I have lost 153lbs and want to lose 20lbs more. I weigh 176 currently so I'm not considered obese now just slightly overweight. I hope I can do it 3 years almost 4 since surgery. ???? pray for me!!

@@VSGAnn2014 You are absolutely right. I have been seeing a counselor (who also had WLS) for the past five years. I have changed so much in that time. However, this weekend she referred me to a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. I've been slipping at 6.5 months. Not terribly, but enough to show me that I'm not emotionally strong enough yet to beat my ED demons alone.
I really appreciate Lipstick Lady's mention of confidence vs arrogance. Sometimes on this board my own insecurities are pricked by certain posters. There is definitely a fine line between coming across as arrogant vs confident. Confidence in other posters makes me feel I will succeed, where as arrogance tends to make me feel stupid and doomed to failure. It's so strange.
Bottom line, OP, you are not alone!

One positive I have done to help myself in a healthy way recently, I took the advice of my surgeon & I stopped weighing myself daily. I am trying to see my weight loss as NSV'S & not JUST A NUMBER ON THE scale like I always have. That has helped me in a big way, but of course then there is the visual part in the mirror I see daily. So being excited about my NSV have been HUGE for me.

I know with every pre op diet I succeeded at, the fear was always there. And sure enough it happened too. But now it's different. Yes, it still whispers in my ear now and again, but this is definitely the most confident I've been at keeping it off long term. And it's feels great!

I am only 3 months post op and yes I worry daily about regain and more so at this point about not losing enough. I worry, will I really get to my goal? Will I really keep losing? Even though I have not cheated , NOT ONCE? What if I am that ONE PERSON that the surgery fails me? I have read about people who said " oh the weight just DROPPED OFF ME!" ...... Well I am 3 months post op and 42 lb down since day of surgery and 67 lb down since my very first appointment with the surgeon and I started my diet pre op. But then I think.... Well it's not just DROPPING OFF ME!!!! What's wrong with me????? It's a HUGE MENTAL GAME.....

So I've lost over 80 pounds by following my doctor's plan as ordered. I have a whole new me and feel so blessed! I do go off track sometimes though and even just one bite of something wrong makes me so incredibly anxious. I worry constantly that I'm going to gain back the weight and will have gone through all of this for nothing. It's almost as if it's too good to be true. I just started seeing the counselor at our weight loss clinic and she says it's a normal stage. Just wondering if others feel anxious and worried like this as well?

So I've lost over 80 pounds by following my doctor's plan as ordered. I have a whole new me and feel so blessed! I do go off track sometimes though and even just one bite of something wrong makes me so incredibly anxious. I worry constantly that I'm going to gain back the weight and will have gone through all of this for nothing. It's almost as if it's too good to be true. I just started seeing the counselor at our weight loss clinic and she says it's a normal stage. Just wondering if others feel anxious and worried like this as well?

Please just keep doin you and don't let the detractors deter you... Like others have said here, everyone has a different opinion and most of the time that's a wonderful thing because it makes for a lively, more fully developed discussion on a topic. I know it has helped me immensely to gain insight from differing points of view during this past year here on Bariatric Pal.
Occasionally, someone will disagree and that's okay too... as long as they're respectful. If not, chock it up to what it is... a jerk on the internet that has no place in your head... and keep moving.
Thanks for sharing clean eating and a healthy way to do this journey! I for one, enjoy that type of information and appreciate it! Most of the time I try to eat this way... sometimes I eat a little less healthy, and yes, there are days I'm in a hurry with no pre-planned lunch and a fast food chicken taco or salad is my lunch. Live and let live.

At the moment (14 months post-op and below my weight goal), I'm not "scared" of regain. But I do focus a lot on my weight / food / drink. Frankly, I need to raise the focus on my exercise.
I do plan and track my food on MFP most days. My shrink keeps urging me to take some days off from tracking. Clearly, he has issues.
It doesn't surprise me that after reaching our weight goals we focus on maintenance. No one who's had WLS was a successful maintainer pre-op. Duh. And it wasn't just once we failed to maintain. Our entire histories have been repeated cycles of weight loss successes after hard work followed by abject failures to maintain.
But now I have confidence coupled with commitment to care for my body and myself. I spent most of my life worrying about and caring first for everyone and everything in my life but my body and me. Now, I have finally understood that I deserve my respect, love and self-care as much as everyone else in my life. Magically, those I care most for are also benefitting from my own self-care.

So I've lost over 80 pounds by following my doctor's plan as ordered. I have a whole new me and feel so blessed! I do go off track sometimes though and even just one bite of something wrong makes me so incredibly anxious. I worry constantly that I'm going to gain back the weight and will have gone through all of this for nothing. It's almost as if it's too good to be true. I just started seeing the counselor at our weight loss clinic and she says it's a normal stage. Just wondering if others feel anxious and worried like this as well?

Yay! Congrats and best of luck on your journey... I know how exciting this is for you

Please just keep doin you and don't let the detractors deter you... Like others have said here, everyone has a different opinion and most of the time that's a wonderful thing because it makes for a lively, more fully developed discussion on a topic. I know it has helped me immensely to gain insight from differing points of view during this past year here on Bariatric Pal.
Occasionally, someone will disagree and that's okay too... as long as they're respectful. If not, chock it up to what it is... a jerk on the internet that has no place in your head... and keep moving.
Thanks for sharing clean eating and a healthy way to do this journey! I for one, enjoy that type of information and appreciate it! Most of the time I try to eat this way... sometimes I eat a little less healthy, and yes, there are days I'm in a hurry with no pre-planned lunch and a fast food chicken taco or salad is my lunch. Live and let live.

Please just keep doin you and don't let the detractors deter you... Like others have said here, everyone has a different opinion and most of the time that's a wonderful thing because it makes for a lively, more fully developed discussion on a topic. I know it has helped me immensely to gain insight from differing points of view during this past year here on Bariatric Pal.
Occasionally, someone will disagree and that's okay too... as long as they're respectful. If not, chock it up to what it is... a jerk on the internet that has no place in your head... and keep moving.
Thanks for sharing clean eating and a healthy way to do this journey! I for one, enjoy that type of information and appreciate it! Most of the time I try to eat this way... sometimes I eat a little less healthy, and yes, there are days I'm in a hurry with no pre-planned lunch and a fast food chicken taco or salad is my lunch. Live and let live.

Please just keep doin you and don't let the detractors deter you... Like others have said here, everyone has a different opinion and most of the time that's a wonderful thing because it makes for a lively, more fully developed discussion on a topic. I know it has helped me immensely to gain insight from differing points of view during this past year here on Bariatric Pal.
Occasionally, someone will disagree and that's okay too... as long as they're respectful. If not, chock it up to what it is... a jerk on the internet that has no place in your head... and keep moving.
Thanks for sharing clean eating and a healthy way to do this journey! I for one, enjoy that type of information and appreciate it! Most of the time I try to eat this way... sometimes I eat a little less healthy, and yes, there are days I'm in a hurry with no pre-planned lunch and a fast food chicken taco or salad is my lunch. Live and let live.

So I've lost over 80 pounds by following my doctor's plan as ordered. I have a whole new me and feel so blessed! I do go off track sometimes though and even just one bite of something wrong makes me so incredibly anxious. I worry constantly that I'm going to gain back the weight and will have gone through all of this for nothing. It's almost as if it's too good to be true. I just started seeing the counselor at our weight loss clinic and she says it's a normal stage. Just wondering if others feel anxious and worried like this as well?

Yes thank you everyone. Amazing support on here. It really helped me

From what I've seen he seems to have narcissistic personality traits. Be careful now that you've ended it.

I did it. Sent him a text. I don't think he deserves a phone call.
Here is what I said:
"I'm sorry this is in a text message but I'm not good at putting my thoughts into words when speaking.
There are other things, such as me getting physically hurt around you twice now due to your drinking. That's a big huge deal!!!! I don't feel safe in your company. You really really hurt me twice now.
But what it really comes down to is that whenever I try to talk to you about my life either currently or in the past, you never fail to turn the conversation back to yourself. I feel totally unheard. You don't engage or ask me questions about my life or show interest in really knowing me. You are totally tuned into yourself.
You show no consideration for me. For example keeping the tv on until 2 am when I am clearly tired from working and still choosing to stay with you. Not a partner I want to be with.
And words of love mean nothing without real intimacy or care.
This has bothered me about you since day one. I have been on the fence about being with you for a long time because of these things.
Couple it with your drinking cracking 6am beers and I am just done.
I only wish you well and good luck. But for me it's goodbye."
And that's done. Thank you me. Thank you me and everyone who has written to me!!!! I do have self love.

Sounds like when he's telling you how sexy and fabulous you are, that feels really amazing and maybe, just maybe its been awhile since you've had someone do that? I don't know... I don't know you, but when we have such conflicted emotions it's generally not really about what's going on right in front of us. It's about something deeper.
You, for instance can plainly tell us that he's boring, narcissistic, an alcoholic, and he's injured you twice now to the point that you've decided to reach out here on this site. I'm so glad you did... But even though you have the evidence right in front of your eyes, you feel conflicted...
That's the "deeper" part... and that part isn't about him. It's about you. Are you worried you won't find anyone else who will tell you how sexy and fabulous you are? Is it that you feel like you've really put your heart and soul into this guy for 5 long months now so don't want to give up? Where did that lesson come from, that you should stay despite it not being positive? See where I'm going... look into yourself.
He has shown you who he is. When people show you who they are, believe them. Now, go find who you are. I'm pretty sure you're going to like who you find. And.. there will be a gazillion other guys out there who will tell you so too.

The dress is pretty and I love your hair... You look stunning!