Sharon1964

I can't believe anyone who has been on the internet more than five minutes would whine or complain about other peoples behavior, on the internet. Boggles the mind. On the internet, I say exactly what I would, and have, said in person. Not everyone likes me. I would be afraid if everyone did.

Yep. Pictures, video, we'll take either one. @@Dub we luv you man.

The short version is I spent a long night in the E.R. with chest pain, dizziness, clamminess, nausea. Turns out to be inflammation of the cartilage that attaches your ribs to your sternum and spine. Painful, scary, but not dangerous. No cardiac involvement at all. While I was there, I thought of you all. I was about to tell someone that if something happened, they had to come here and tell my peeps. Cuz y'all are my peeps. Just so you know.

You're not eating for satisfaction any more. You're eating to live.

Why do I feel like handing out pieces of cake now??? Mmmm. Cake.

I'm pretty sure no one said you INTENDED to eat all of that. HOWEVER, the point is, you did. You did what is referred to as "mindless eating". Every bite that goes into your mouth should be deliberate. Now you know for the future, to get a second plate, and put the extra on that plate, and set it to the side. If your surgeon didn't give you specifics on how much to eat (and I'm astonished that he said eat until you are comfortable!!!), then some of us can tell you what our plan was, and you may wish to think about adopting it. I am to eat 1/3 cup of food at each meal. If there is green salad, I can have that in addition to my 1/3 cup of food. Between six months and 12 months post-op, I can move to 1/2 cup of food at each meal. What this looks like in real life is this: Breakfast is one egg with a slice of cheese, or one greek yogurt. lunch and dinner are grilled chicken breast, fish, steak, pork chop, ribs, meatballs, tuna, chili, shrimp, etc. - 1/3 cup. I may have one or two bites of a green vegetable or salad. After dinner I have one sugar-free popsicle. If I have a smaller lunch, I may have a Protein bar around 3pm. When I'm not eating, I'm getting fluids in. I have absolutely no idea how much I can eat, because I have never tested it.

Oh sweetie, you haven't begun to see anyone here be hateful. Can any of us eat 20 ounces of protein? I would venture that the majority of us would say, I HAVE NO IDEA BECAUSE I DIDN'T PUT THAT ON MY PLATE. So instead of blaming the surgeon, hit the reset button and start over. Follow the plan. Measure your portions. Eat and drink what you're supposed to. It sounds like you're depending on the sleeve to force you to eat less, and since it isn't forcing, you're eating more. So take responsibility for yourself, and do what you're supposed to do. And no, that wasn't the least bit hateful.

Why are you even trying to eat that much? Measure out your food and put on your plate only what you're supposed to eat. I would say even go back on liquids for a few days so you can hit the virtual reset button.

It means that surgery at a Center of Excellence is a package deal, completely covered (looks like no copay). So any visits you need for 90 days before or after are part of the package. Looks like some awesome insurance coverage. It's like when you're pregnant, your insurance doesn't pay for every individual visit with your obgyn, they pay one price for a package of care that includes normal prenatal visits, normal delivery, and 6 weeks aftercare.

@@Oregondaisy Did you go kayaking or did you say, "you're right, this is never going to work" and leave?

Nothing you are doing to prepare for surgery is "killing you"... it's preparing you for rebirth. Every day is one step closer to your new life. Your new energy. Your new way of fitting into the world. Your new way of looking at food. You can do this, YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU GOT THIS!

I've had insomnia for about two months now. No matter what time I go to bed, I wake up at around 1 am and again around 4 am. Sometimes I can get back to sleep within a half hour, sometimes not. I've done a lot of soul-searching to try to figure out what has been stressing me. I have an appointment with a therapist on Monday to figure this out, but in the meantime, I think I've got it. It's my mother. She moved in with me about three years ago. We lived together back when my 21-year-old was born, for about five years. Then she lived with my sister for several years, then alone for a couple of years, then with me. The reason she moved in with me this time was that the place she was living in alone was being sold, and she needed to move. She couldn't find an affordable apartment nearby (my area doesn't have a lot of vacancies), so I let her move in with me. The problem is I do not like the way she treats my 12-year-old daughter. Apparently when she lived with my sister, she treated sister's boys the same way. She never had a problem with my oldest (and yeah, we were all a lot younger then). As I have mellowed as I've gotten older, mom has gotten more intense. She takes everything personally. And as anyone with a pre-teen girl knows, it's an emotional rollercoaster anyway. Mom acts like the kid is doing things to deliberately provoke her, and I know that's not true. When I call mom on talking to the kid in a mean fashion, her go-to response is "she started it". Of course, then I tell her that as the adult, I expect her to model good behavior. No, the kid isn't innocent, and I deal with that - it's just so much harder when mom is doing the same thing. I am not looking forward to this. She is going to be butt-hurt, and the stress is going to go through the roof. Sigh. I want ice cream. Ice cream is not my friend, but it pretends to be. It doesn't give me any verbal grief, it's cool and creamy, and it tastes good. Sigh. Instead of ice cream, I'll have to ask the man-types for some extra "attention" to relieve stress. No real point here, just getting crap out of my head.

I chuckled at "lack of cake"! Talk to your doctor about an antidepressant. It doesn't have to be forever, you may only need it in the short-term.

I try to only have them away from home. Otherwise I think I could snarf down the whole box of salted caramel power crunch bars. It's the crunch. It does me in. Mmmmm. Crunch. When you bite into it, you get the resistance to your teeth, then it gives way with a satisfying crunch, then it kind of melts in your mouth, with just a touch of salty to the smooth caramel... sheee-it, I think I need a smoke now.

So it's been just under a week since moving day. My insomnia appears resolved (cross fingers). The house is much calmer. I didn't realize how much anxiety there was, until there wasn't.

Last week I came out to my 72 year old mother (who lives with me), as being poly. I told her that the one guy I'm dating is married (his wife pretty much set up our first date), and the other one I'm interested in, has a live-in girlfriend of a number of years. She immediately jumped to, "there will be jealousy and your heart will get broken." I tried to explain to her what poly was about (in my world, as there are a lot of different types). All in all, it went a lot better than I expected and it's easier not having to be vague and secretive anymore. The thing about my poly is, I can take it or leave it. Having a full-time relationship that meets all of my needs is great. I'm not in one right now. Having more than one part-time relationship that together meets all of my needs is great. The one person that I know right now that I would consider getting to know better, and would like to explore a single, full-time relationship with is in a traditional, monogamous marriage. So unless his situation changes or someone just FREAKIN' LIKE HIM comes along, I'm good with where I am now. A couple of days after coming out, I picked up a book about open relationships that will be discussed at a poly book club meeting that I'm going to attend. Mom asked if she could read it when I was done. Color me SHOCKED! No real question here, just sharing a part of my life that I've kept under wraps.

And last weekend I came out to my 12 year old daughter. Her only question was, "can he marry you too?" I told her that the law only allows you to be married to one person at a time. Other than that, "cool Beans."

You could also try making your own: http://www.cheesemaking.com/learn/cheese-making-recipes/how-to-make-cottage-cheese.html

You may not be able to find it. In France, you can sometimes find it. It's made by Danone, under the Jockey label. Look for a tub, possibly with a green and white sleeve. It is labeled "Cottage Cheese", and "Fromage Frais Salé."

Ok, PM me your fetlife name and I'll stalk you there too!

It's amazing the little things you let slide when you're trying to get along with someone, and how peaceful it feels when you don't have to do that anymore. Yesterday, as I walked naked down the hall to the kid's room, I said to the kid, "Now we can walk around the house naked if we want to and no one will yell at us." Mom didn't like parts uncovered. And no, we're not nudists. My delicates drawer is currently residing in the kid's dresser, while I'm waiting for the dresser I ordered to come in. So I needed some delicates. And no, this thread does not need pictures (for anyone who was going to say it!).

Okay, I just looked at your stats. We both had surgery in August 2015. You started at 402, I started at 403. You weigh 239 right now, I weigh 238. We're both on fetlife. Fess up! Long-lost twin sister? or Stalker???

I'm active in my local BDSM group, and there's a lot of crossover there to poly. I hang with two distinct groups of poly; one is much more BDSM-friendly than the other. You could try fetlife.com as there are a lot of poly groups there. It's free to join. Also, okcupid has an option for being in an "open" relationship, I think you can set your search parameters for that. By the way, those girls aren't totally okay with it. They just want you. They either THINK they can be okay with it, or they think they are awesome enough that you won't want anyone else, or once you fall in love with them you won't want anyone else. It's a common problem.

Just thinking about you.