ridingrae

Hi all. I just logged on to this site for the first time in years. Yesterday I went in for my annual check-up. I skipped it last year because I was terribly ashamed of how much weight I had regained. When I hit the 5-year anniversary of my sleeve surgery, I decided it was time to face my fears and scheduled an appointment. I've gained back more than half of what I lost after my surgery. In addition to feeling terrible about it all the time, having had to buy bigger clothes because nothing fit and being embarrassed whenever I reconnect with someone I haven't seen in a couple of years, I also now have a set of bloodwork results confirming what I deeply suspected- I have already reversed some of the health benefits of my weight loss. I cried during the appointment and the (new) nurse practitioner was very kind. I was honest with her and shared that I know exactly what I am doing wrong but I continue to turn to food emotionally, eat the wrong foods, and graze. I explained that the surgery helped me initially when I felt a lot of restriction but it did not in any way change my emotional dependence on food for self-soothing. I never found alternative coping strategies that were even close to as powerful for me as emotional over-eating and numbing myself out with sugar and carbs. I told her that I have a complicated and stressful life and, in addition, I lost my beloved father unexpectedly a few years ago and he had been the greatest source of unconditional love and acceptance in my life. The dog I adopted to help me through my grief was hit by a car and died in December. I'm in perimenopause and my hormones are all screwed up. I know intellectually that food won't solve any of my problems but the desire for comfort is much stronger than my willpower. This has been my pattern my entire life. The nurse practitioner listened. She reminded me that regain is extremely common. Not sure what comes next but I appreciate the chance to share my story with all of you.

I managed to get back on tract because I refused to buy new clothes so I was really uncomfortable wearing summer clothes that were 20lbs too small. I made up my mind I had to do it because I worked too hard to mess it up now and besides, I couldn't breathe in those tight shorts. I planned out back to basics low carb meals for the first 2weeks and got rid of stuff I couldn't eat. Writing down what I ate helps too. I'm doing well so far, because I'm having success and it feels good
I need motivation to get back to exercise though. I still haven't made it to the gym though. I wish I could motivate myself to get there.

I know I have posted many MANY times about my struggles with regain. I have attempted resets and restarts multiple times but fail every time.
Today I am ready. I just have had enough. Absolutely enough. I am SICK AND TIRED. I am angry at myself for having lost all of my will power. I did SO great post op and then things changed. My personal life went into chaos-it's like I totally forgot that I'm a bariatric patient.
Today I realized that there is NO MAGIC PILL for regain. I've tried it all, but right in this minute I realized that going back to basics and getting my butt into a gym are the key. There is no secret. I promise I won't ever post again asking WHAT to do. I may post asking how to tweak something or for a bit of guidance, but I KNOW WHAT TO DO... so today, today is my day.
Today I start back with dense Proteins, tracking my Water, giving up the pop permanently, cutting all the carbs, treats, snacking, etc. I WILL add shakes too, because I work nights and part of my problem has been eating through the day, then eating all night at work just to stay awake. If i'm going to have to do SOMETHING to stay awake, i'd rather it be a shake than pizza or junk.
Please. PLEASE pray for me, cheer me on, drop me a smile or a piece of support. Whatever you have, please help me along. I have little access to a surgeon (I had to leave my original surgeon due to a move, and my new surgeon only wants to talk revision). I attended a new support group and liked them, they only meet once a month. I'm walking in there again in a couple weeks and going to ask for email/phone/text contact info of the members so I can stay in touch with them.
Ok. I'm ready. Seriously, truly ready. Here we go.
Day 1.

Hi all, I would love to join this "challenge". I'm just over 2 years post op and would like to lose 16 lbs of regain. Unfortunately, I've been trying to lose this 16 lbs since December....and it's August. I've been succumbing to junk food nonstop, and am frustrated that I can't get away with the bad eating habits that I used to. I recognize that's it's time to get back to basics of logging my foods, measuring, and staying committed to the plan!!

I think the exercise/eating dilemma is at play here. Exercise makes you hungry, you don't have the same restriction you once had, so you tend to eat more than you need. Even just a couple hundred extra calories a day is enough to put that kind of weight on in no time.
The oft-quoted sentiment applies here: "You can't outrun your fork".
Time to make a plan. Count your calories, weigh/measure, etc. It's not fun. It's not simple. But ultimately, we all have to do it, one way or another.. and not just for a year or two. It's forever.

I totally agree! Since you have done this before, it should be i dont want to say easy, but maybe expected? You can do it!! I started following the program again after 7 years and a lot of weight gain, at first I had NO ambition to start, but now Ive lost 8 lbs!! You can do it!!! 2 shakes, light meal and NO out to eat ! Remember......feeling hungry is a good thing. I notice when my belly is grumpbling all day I loose a lb or 2. But I still eat something light all day.

Eat right away when you wake up.
no drinking 30 minutes before or after or during meal
2 shakes
light meal
stay away from processed foods
48-64 oz of water!!

Come on!! YOU CAN DO IT!! Its only 15 lbs!!

@ridingrae
"knowing the problem is half the solution"
what's worse than gaining 15 lbs?
answer - gaining 16 lbs.!!
i've been there, done that over the years
if i were in your position, i would have 3 shakes a
day, or 2 shakes a day w/light meal. basically a
liquid diet. i would do this for 5 days, or 7 or...............
this should/will help you loose weight - give you a
quick jump start. then continue to eat and drink
like you learned as a newbie. these suggestions are
easy for me to write. unfortunately, not simple to follow.
with determination and strength, you can be a success.
yes, this IS tough. you know what to do - you just need a
kick in the arse to get you started!! LOL
ready, set, go, and you are off!!
good luck
kathy

I've gained 20 lbs. it's been about 2 1/2 years since my sleeve surgery. I was too thin, dizzy a lot, so I only want to lose 15 of that. It's crazy to me after spending my whole life literally needing to lose 50 pounds or more, that I can say I only need to lose 15 pounds. But man, this is tough. I am able to eat such large quantities and emotionally something isn't clicking. I am a distance trail runner but this extra weight has made me stop enjoying my running, as I feel heavy when I do run. Ok, universe and bariatric community, I've said it out loud and I want to be ready to change.

I've gained 20 lbs. it's been about 2 1/2 years since my sleeve surgery. I was too thin, dizzy a lot, so I only want to lose 15 of that. It's crazy to me after spending my whole life literally needing to lose 50 pounds or more, that I can say I only need to lose 15 pounds. But man, this is tough. I am able to eat such large quantities and emotionally something isn't clicking. I am a distance trail runner but this extra weight has made me stop enjoying my running, as I feel heavy when I do run. Ok, universe and bariatric community, I've said it out loud and I want to be ready to change.

We're trying to change habits we've had most or all of our lives--sure, it's hard. People have given different reasons for doing this in the first place, but there are a lot of similar ones--for one's family, for one's health, for comfort in places like airplane seats and amusement park rides. Think about your reasons and find that motivation again . . . you know it's important to you.

We fall off the wagon the moment we begin using food as something other than what it really is intended for: nutrition to fuel our bodies' basic activities.
Some people use food as an emotional crutch. Others use food to bestow enjoyment upon their lives (e.g., the satisfaction of feeling full after eating at the all-you-can-eat buffet). Others use food to conquer boredom or loneliness. Some people use food to deal with stress.
Some people use food as an escape mechanism because they subconsciously dislike themselves. For some, food is their drug. Here's a saying: "Addiction is an attempt to escape from yourself. Recovery is an attempt to discover yourself."
If we find ourselves regularly reaching for junk food rather than real food, it's a surefire sign we're using food for purposes other than intended.

Honestly, you have to find the grit and drive within yourself to do what you need to do to be successful. There just comes a time when you have to ask yourself what is more important, you or food...
You are worth it! food is just food.

well, the only answer I know of, ya'll already know it. Surgeon, Dr Matthew Weiner states, "The only reason why people gain weight back is going to back to old/bad habits"....so, do the opposite. Stop drinking the calories, etc.
I'm 8 weeks post op...and I caught myself grazing the other day. Very bad habit for me. But it was nice to be mindful of what I was doing and thinking about why I was doing it. Today, I'm not grazing. I will not go back to those habits...and I have to constantly remind myself of it too.
Ya'll can do this...get back on the wagon trail, which is bumpy (we're not perfect and we will mess up/fall off), but we can definitely make the changes needed to stay on that trail. You can do it.

It is so easy to feel this way because we know what we set out to do and we look at our weight numbers like the lottery, just 20lbs and I win, lol. But let me say this, everyday is a new day to start over. I too feel the same way. I had the sleeve surgery in May 2015 and a year and some odd months later I am only 43lbs down...THAT'S FAILURE!! But after a long bout with depression I am thinking a different way. I have an addiction to chips, yes an addiction that is my vice, not candy or any other fatting food just chips.
So I have begun to take things out of my diet and substitute the bad for the better. (drink your protein) I have started back hitting the gym at least 4 times a week. This is a mental fight we have with ourselves and we think we have SELF control and we walk on the edge and before we know it bam, dam old habits are sitting on our hips, thighs and bellies. DON'T DO IT, you are in control!!!
Everyday is a new day to walk a little more, and eat the hamburger not the fries. Make the eggs and bacon for Breakfast not bread. In our case we must take two or three steps toward our goal not just one. Don't give up regroup. Look at the Paleo diet it is a good way to eat right and not give up taste.
FAILURE is not dusting yourself off and working toward your goal, start with a small one. It's December 2 work toward losing 3lbs this month just to get you back on the right track. You are worth it! Nobody said the journey would be perfect, but it is doable.
Work toward your goal everyday! What did you do today to work toward your goal? When a sprinter falls down he does not start over at the beginning, he dusts his knees and get back into the race. His goal is still to finish the race and that's winning. Your goal is to be a healthier you that's winning!!!!

"If anything I've said is true" hahah. Girl I don't have time to sit around and make up stuff for the internet. Why would I make anything up? That's pretty silly don't you think...
I had bypass.
Then I had a sleeve.
Then I had a stricture.
I relapsed into anorexia.
I have really bad dumping.
My food still gets stuck a lot.
I sought therapy for anorexia/bulimia/Ednos.
I sought more therapy.
I found a new way to think about weight and body image.
I gave up on dieting or caring about my weight.
The end.
I'm not sure what you think my motivation for lying would be. But it's annoying you keep saying that about me on my posts. A lot of old vets were really mean to me and I let it get to me... I was really struggling last year. I could have used more support.   
But whatever... I'll share some photos so those of you who want to know more about me can see that im a real person with a real story. Go back and read my old posts if you want. I don't really care. I'm here to help those who need advice. My own experience is just one of many.
 
Anorexia at its finest.
Me now.


Believe me or not... that's what I went through.

I have sympathy for those of you who have regained weight. I myself lost 120 pounds and at 2 years out my portion options became much larger, my ability to snack became apparent, and my weight started to yo yo.
So what happened. Well I felt very very depressed. I put on 15 lbs and was having nightmares about being back to my pre op weight. I also felt extremely depressed about the idea of having to be back on a diet and stay there the rest of my life. My weight loss with my sleeve was very easy and I had it had to really try not to eat. Suddenly all that changed. The scale began to rise.
So what did I do? I began dieting again. Counting calories, doing low carb, etc. what happened? I lost weight. And then gained it back and then some.
I found myself back in the same pattern of dieting and binging that got me obese in the first place. I felt very angry and in despair. I just knew I couldn't live like that again. I knew dieting had made me gain weight before and I would again. Skipping meals, going to bed hungry, not allowing myself to eat things I enjoyed, not enjoying family events because of the food, etc.
I decided I was done with all that. There was no way I was going to go back to dieting because I would be more depressed living like that than being overweight.
Instead I began to research anti-dieting. I discovered intuitive eating and it changed my life. I bought books, read stories and blogs, and made a pact with myself I would no longer diet. And I began to eat anything I wanted and to honor my bodies hunger and fullness signals. I soon found myself eating a normal amount of food without binging. My weight stabilized, my energy level shot way up, I regained my health. I stopped weighing myself or counting my calories. I finally had the energy to go to the gym- not for weight loss but for the fun I got out of it.
I now weigh about 128lbs at 5'6. I maintain my weight with no effort. I eat when I am hungry and I don't if I'm not hungry. I eat whatever makes me feel good and sometimes I even eat food that makes me feel crappy. I am active and fit. I don't think about food or have food rules. I allow all food in my home and I never binge on food because I don't need to as I am not deprived or hungry. I follow my bodies intuition.
If you are having issues like me I highly recommend reading intuitive eating and walking away from the diet mindset. Surgery is a great tool but no one can live on a diet plan forever. And who would want to?
Me and my daughter who I am also raising to be an intuitive eater and to love her body at any size.

Ok. Started today at 185.8.
Even though I'm relatively new to this life - I am struggling to keep my head in the game -
The mental aspects of dealing with socializing and food are kicking my ass.
I'm stocking up today on my staples...
Crab cakes (4carbs, 13 protein)
Meatballs (4.8 carbs, 12 protein)
Premier Protein (one a day with my morning decaf)
And string cheese (1carb, 7 protein)
That is my usual base then I plan meals to fill out my dinners.
I know tonight is sausage and peppers. (Mr Mean One had them out defrosting when I woke up)
My husband is planning to go low carb so that should help
But I think that I was foolish to think that I could do this without therapy so I think I seriously need to look into that.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I'm joining this challenge for accountability. I had the gastric sleeve surgery 3 years ago. I lost 50 pounds and have gained 21.2 pounds back over the last year or so.
I'm not making excuses. I haven't been exercising and I have not followed the rules: 1) Protein first, 2) veggies second and 3) not drinking immediately before, during or immediately after meals.
I know from experience that following the rules and exercising allows me to work my sleeve and get the most I can out of the tool I have.
So, here's what I'm doing:
1) Track food in My Fitness Pal - 01.01.17
2) Start Couch to 5K program - 01.02.17
3) Use the Withings and Apple Health apps for accountability - 01.01.17
Food:
1) Core Power Light chocolate shakes for Breakfast - I like them slightly frozen/slushy
2) Protein based Snacks and fresh veggies such as fresh mozzarella, P3 packs, light string cheese, carrots, etc.
3) Protein based meals
4) 3 meals and 3 Snacks per day
5) Measure food
Exercise:
1) Begin C25K program on Monday 01.02.17
2) Exercise 5 days per week
3) Walk at lunch 3 days per week
Tracking and Accountability:
1) Track all food eaten and calories in My Fitness Pal
2) Track Water in My Fitness Pal
3) Weigh each morning
4) Use Withings scale and health apps to track weight, health and sleep activity
4) Use Apple Health app to track physical activity including calories burned, heart rate, 30 minutes minimum activity per day, standing 1 minute per hour for 12 hours and focused breathing several times per day
Goals:
1) Weigh daily
2) Exercise 5 days per week for a minimum of 30 minutes per day
3) Eat 1500 (or less) calories per day
4) Drink 4 to 6 eight ounce glasses of Water per day
5) Update progress on this thread each Sunday
Life IS good. Enjoy and give thanks.
S.

Even with that little bump in the road, you have done a phenomenal job. You have the knowledge of a true vet, and I have no doubt you will get to where you want to be. Great post!
Oh, and I was 2 years out last August I find myself doing the EXACT same stuff you've been doing! What's with that? Something about year 2/3 I always see in these forums. Must just be boredom/complacency? Someone once called it "Behavior Fatigue". I just have to find ways to keep my eye on the prize and stay motivated! We must always remain vigilant!

Your post has so inspired me. Im two years out and i have fallen to the carb monster. Im with you. We got this.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using the BariatricPal App

Okay so my first year was phenomenal! I did so good! And this past year? Well... not so much. My loss slowed around the end of last year and continued to be slow/creeping for the first couple of months. Chalk it up to holidays, the stress after a move, poor planning, it wasn't a great time. And I should have followed that up with renewed vigor, but instead I re-introduced two things into my life that has made this year, frankly?, a complete waste!
1. Carbs! I started re-introducing them back in February. Just a little at first. But what was an occasional thing turned into an every day thing, turned into an (almost) every meal thing, turned into an (almost) every meal/every snack thing. It's a slippery slope. And the worst part about this is that I don't even enjoy them that much! They're just convenient and EVERYWHERE.
2. Snacking. Before I was mostly doing the strict 5-6 meals/snacks per day. It would occasionally deviate, but for the most part, that was my mainstay. After introducing carbs, the desire to snack became so much stronger. The more carbs I ate, the more I snacked, the more I snacked, the more I ate carbs. It was just a gross gigantic avalanche of snacking/carbing.
3. Facebook! Can I blame the fact that I re-introduced Facebook on this? I recently read (a real article, though I can't remember the name of the publication at the moment! I THINK it was NYT.) that surveys suggest that Facebook takes up more of our time than exercising, reading, and socializing per day COMBINED. COMBINED. That's... INSANE. To know that I've wasted good quality exercising (and reading!) time on Facebook (which I don't even really LIKE, which is why I avoided it for SO LONG.) is mind boggling to me. I haven't deleted the app from my phone yet, but I'm doing it tonight! I'll keep messenger because for some reason people prefer that to texting these days. STILL. This is unacceptable in my world view. How did I allow this to happen?
I have not technically gained weight this year because I looked back and I'm around the same I was this time last year. So that's... something? But with gains and losses, I did gain back about 25 lbs. You could say ALMOST 30, but the only reason I ever dipped that low was because I had mycoplasma pneumonia (the one with gastrointestinal symptoms) for 2 weeks in the middle of the year. Apart from that one week period where I had lost weight because of Illness, I'd been hovering at about 255 for a pretty long time this year. Then, when I stepped on the scale one week ago I was shocked to discover that I was weighing in at 278.5. 23 and half pounds higher than my (non-pnuemonia-induced) lowest weight!
The little progress that I did make this year, just kept being erased by my poor choices! I hadn't stepped on a scale since I'd been sick. I was in deep denial!
I immediately joined a dietbet (which I'm going to lose because I'm losing too quickly!) and started eating right again. No carbs, veggies, Protein (at least 70/day), getting in my fluids, only eating 5/6 times/day. I began losing weight so rapidly that I couldn't believe it. Still can't. That was Dec 1st. When I weighed myself this morning. I'd already lost 12 lbs! This is TWO YEARS out from surgery. I haven't had ANY TIME this week to exercise (though I do babysit after work so I usually get all my steps in.) This tool still works! It still does EXACTLY what it's designed to do! And the REALLY remarkable part of this? Half way into this week, my dentist had to prescribe me an antibiotic AND a steroid. A steroid! Yet I still managed to lose 12 lbs. I feel like I JUST had surgery. These are astonishing numbers even if it's mostly Water weight. Even if I'd just lost 6/5 lbs this week I would have been astounded. 12 is beyond anything I ever expected.
Some things I've noticed this week:
1. I still don't miss carbs (much!)
It's hard to step away. But honestly? I just feel so dissatisfied with what I'm eating when I'm eating carbs. I've always been more of a meat and veggie girl. Carbs are just so abundant, so easily accessible and convenient, and so weirdly addictive even if you don't really love them, that it's just a habit I fall into that is almost exclusively environmental. I just need to REMEMBER that I control my own "food environment" if I make the time to plan!
2. I have to remember to take my Vitamins.
I still have them, I just have lapsed in taking them. Now that I really need them again, it's more important to remember!
3. I am going to the bathroom very infrequently, much like I did the first year post-surgery.
4. My capacity really is not as high as I feared.
When you nibble, stretch out your meals into long social affairs, snack frequently, eat slider foods, it can really be a bit of a mind trick. You start to believe that you can still eat like you used to. But you can't, you're just adapting what you CAN do, to what you WANT to do. If you want to eat more, you'll make it happen. You have to MAKE YOURSELF use your tool the way it was intended.
If I eat good quality veggies and protein, eat from start to finish (no stopping to chat OR BROWSE FACEBOOK for ten minutes in between bites!), I can still only eat ABOUT a solid cup of food before I'm comfortably full. Might take a few extra bites to make me UNCOMFORTABLY full depending on what the food is. I made a double-batch of Skinnytaste's Stuffed Pepper Soup (without rice) last week. Which is not very brothy and more like a stew. Yesterday I had a cup of that for lunch. (my ladle measures exactly one cup). By the time I finished the cup, I was UNCOMFORTABLY full. I actually should have stopped a few bites before I finished. Because it was stew-like, it was way more dense. For dinner today I had about 2 ounces of roasted chicken breast (which doesn't equal a half cup if you cut it up in chunks), about a half a cup of sauteed brussels sprouts, and a little less than a tablespoon full of homemade pimento cheese melted over the top. I was perfectly full by the time I was done. Not too full. Not still hungry. Just right.
5. I'm worried this will not last. I don't mean I'm worried I will fail again. I'm sure I will and I have a plan for that. (Get back on that horse, not 10 months later, but two minutes later!, etc.) I'm worried that I'll somehow do the same thing I did this week and for some reason I won't lose. I think I told myself for a long time this year that it wasn't ME and MY CHOICES that were causing me not to lose. It was something else. So I just have to remember that I am in control and I think these worries will go away. I'm really excited to get back to the gym too. Babysteps!
I'm so thrilled at this NEW START. I wonder if anyone else is in the same boat I am, or is in the same boat I was a week ago? Has anyone had long-term success with a re-start? After a period of not losing or a period of slight re-gain? What are you doing? What's working? What's not? How did you "re-boot?" Did you do the pouch test? What warnings do you have? Etc?
I feel like a newbie. It feels kind of good!

I am super proud of myself today! I meal prep for the week as I type, baked chicken breast low carb veggies, salads and Protein shakes, getting my 7 days ready! Sunday will be me day and prep day! Got in a 1 mile walk, not much but better than I have been the last 9 months! I have to remember to keep myself grounded and well Rome was not built in a day, so I am in for the life change I must face for the long haul!
Other thing I did not realize how far I fell short, my vitamins! All those are portioned and zip-lock bagged for easy daily consumption!
Thank you my new found friends/ WLS sisters & brothers, I appreciate all your help understanding, guidance and even scolding at times we all need the reality check!

It has been awhile since I've posted a before and after. Hope it inspires anyone newly sleeved as to what is possible. Preop I was a size 22 now I wear a 4.  

After losing 100 lbs. I looked at myself in the mirror and had no idea who was staring back at me. I was fortunate enough to find a therapist with experience working with weight loss patients and I've been seeing her for over two years now working on getting to the heart of my issues.
As many know, the weight is a symptom of whatever our issues are. It took me such a long time to even acknowledge that for me, being fat meant I could hide the things that hurt me. Now that there's no fat to hide behind, I'm having to face those issues head on and learn how to deal with them. It's very much a work in progress so know that what you are going through, many others have gone through as well.
In my opinion, there's no way we can change our outside so drastically without changing what made us so self destructive in the first place.
If you find that you are having difficulties with all the changes, don't hesitate to speak with a professional. If you are getting the help and support you need from your husband and other loved ones, you may be able to identify your new self with time alone.

I actually don't think I've transferred any addiction...
My 'relationship' with food was an odd one...
I actually lived on Coca Cola, espresso coffee with lots of sugar and cigarettes...
I'd eat one every day or two...
I was a chef, so I was also constantly tasting food...
I kicked the smoking first...
That was actually easy...
The Coke was much harder...
It wasn't til I left the industry that I rid myself of that habit...
I then weaned myself of the sugar and then the coffee...
I still have one triple espresso every day...
No sugar...
Just coffee in all its glory!!!
If anything, it'd be exercise that I'm 'addicted' to...
But it's a controlled addiction...
For now anyway...