Keeper

For me, green is several hours between meals and eating smaller portions. I don't measure my food so I'm not good at saying how much I eat in a sitting, but I'd say typically around half a cup, sometimes more depending on the density of the food. Took me a while to get here though. I've had 6 fills. Most of them in .5 increments. I have to eat so much slower and smaller bites after the last fill I had. I had had a couple of really small stuck episodes before but it was due to eating too fast, not small enough bites. Oh yeah, I learned real quick this last time!!! I hear you on the hiccup thing. I am happy I finally got to this point. I felt like it took forever lol.

I love your attitude. I find myself saying 'only' as a way to discount any success that I have had. I've lost 35# and I am staying to say the same thing - those are gone forever. So much healthier! Always lose a good 3-5 pounds after a fill but I'm in green now. I'm still not losing as fast as I want but by reminding myself that that weight is gone has helped tremendously. As for meal planning, the best thing you can do is stock up on protein-centric foods and not buy the items that don't help you succeed. I have had to cut out most carbs like bread and Pasta (not by preference, mind you!) because I get stuck if I don't. I don't tend to be a meal planner, however. For me, just having the right foods help me make good choices. That's sometimes hard since I have a husband and 2 boys who can and do eat everything they want, lol. Be sure to follow your doc's post-fill liquid/soft recommendations. Add exercise if you aren't currently. And as always, listen to your band. Not sure helpful all this is, and it can certainly be slow sometimes, but I'll be rooting for your one-derland!!! I'll be ecstatic when I get to 200! :-)

Yeah for close to green! On days that I feel I am not getting enough Protein I add a shake. Not as a Meal Replacement necessarily but as added protein and counting toward my hydration. Good luck!

couldn't have said it better. Very few people outside hubby and sisters know about my WLS. I am a stay-at-home mom who home schools my oldest. i don't get out much. THIS is my main form of support. Drama NOT needed.

you are so brave and awesome! I have always hated to run. hate it. But there is a part of me that wants to do this because I can only imagine what a sense of..empowerment one has when they can conquer running. Either by learning to love it or simply ding something that they once upon a time couldn't do. But I hear you on hip pain. I joined a gym and there are days that I ache, more my knees than anything.
but congrats! Proud of and for you!!

I am still obese so I still identify with larger people, but I do feel an *intense* longing to reach out to folks that I see, to tell them that there are options - even though I know that they *know* that. We knew it when we were at our heaviest; we just didn't think it was possible for us.
I see this struggle with my identical sister the most. There were a few years when she was 'thin' and healthy and I wasn't. 4 kids for her, marriage, life, same old-same old issues that cause us to become so unhealthy, and she got as heavy as me. But now, for the first time in our lives, I weigh less than she does. She is so happy and thrilled for my success, but jealous, too. I see her struggle with thinking how impossible for her this all could be.
I had a moment earlier this week where I had a complete meltdown over...everything. The fact that I 'let myself go' for as long as I did, for being so unhealthy, for being so un-fit. I was so angry at myself. I can very much identify with the self anger you describe. I think it isn't just anger, but a despair of sorts as well. I know that when I look at my beautiful two boys that I don't want them to ever end of like me, or go through the things I have.
I'm glad you shared this.

Hmmmm interesting because that's how I used to feel about smoking. I smoked for about 10 years and honestly, I loved it. I knew it was dangerous, knew I stank, knew it was a waste of money. BUT....I loved it and I didn't want to change. Sure, I tried quitting many times, but I never truly wanted to and that played a big part in failing every time.
As a matter of fact, I do believe I would still be smoking today if I had been allowed to proceed with my surgery without quitting. Thankfully, my doc required nicotine tests for 90 days prior to surgery. WLS was what tipped the scale in my desire to quit smoking. And now that I'm on a path to a healthier life and I'm free of that addiction, I would never dream of going back to it.
So I can relate to him. I guess many of us have something we know is bad but we just don't want to quit. It takes finding something you want more that makes it worthwhile. I guess if he's happy with his life, more power to him!

@@InkedLexeme congrats on taking the first step! I'm not a "newbie" anymore (banded in Nov) but what is so great about this forum is that you get to meet people in all stages of this process. Believe me - I am still very much in this learning curve. For the record, though, I LOVED turning 30 and I think it is so exciting that you get to Celebrate that milestone with this milestone - changing your life. Talk about rocking a new decade. also? I'm a tat afficianado so your post made me smile. :-)

I am still obese so I still identify with larger people, but I do feel an *intense* longing to reach out to folks that I see, to tell them that there are options - even though I know that they *know* that. We knew it when we were at our heaviest; we just didn't think it was possible for us.
I see this struggle with my identical sister the most. There were a few years when she was 'thin' and healthy and I wasn't. 4 kids for her, marriage, life, same old-same old issues that cause us to become so unhealthy, and she got as heavy as me. But now, for the first time in our lives, I weigh less than she does. She is so happy and thrilled for my success, but jealous, too. I see her struggle with thinking how impossible for her this all could be.
I had a moment earlier this week where I had a complete meltdown over...everything. The fact that I 'let myself go' for as long as I did, for being so unhealthy, for being so un-fit. I was so angry at myself. I can very much identify with the self anger you describe. I think it isn't just anger, but a despair of sorts as well. I know that when I look at my beautiful two boys that I don't want them to ever end of like me, or go through the things I have.
I'm glad you shared this.

Just another thought; another benefit of going slower is that it helps your head and body adjust to all of the changes to keep our weight off permanently. I know that has been true for me :-)

Just another thought; another benefit of going slower is that it helps your head and body adjust to all of the changes to keep our weight off permanently. I know that has been true for me :-)

exactly - I totally agree! and like you, (and I read this yesterday and laughed), if chocolate is wrong, I don't wanna be right! :-)

I am still obese so I still identify with larger people, but I do feel an *intense* longing to reach out to folks that I see, to tell them that there are options - even though I know that they *know* that. We knew it when we were at our heaviest; we just didn't think it was possible for us.
I see this struggle with my identical sister the most. There were a few years when she was 'thin' and healthy and I wasn't. 4 kids for her, marriage, life, same old-same old issues that cause us to become so unhealthy, and she got as heavy as me. But now, for the first time in our lives, I weigh less than she does. She is so happy and thrilled for my success, but jealous, too. I see her struggle with thinking how impossible for her this all could be.
I had a moment earlier this week where I had a complete meltdown over...everything. The fact that I 'let myself go' for as long as I did, for being so unhealthy, for being so un-fit. I was so angry at myself. I can very much identify with the self anger you describe. I think it isn't just anger, but a despair of sorts as well. I know that when I look at my beautiful two boys that I don't want them to ever end of like me, or go through the things I have.
I'm glad you shared this.

I am still obese so I still identify with larger people, but I do feel an *intense* longing to reach out to folks that I see, to tell them that there are options - even though I know that they *know* that. We knew it when we were at our heaviest; we just didn't think it was possible for us.
I see this struggle with my identical sister the most. There were a few years when she was 'thin' and healthy and I wasn't. 4 kids for her, marriage, life, same old-same old issues that cause us to become so unhealthy, and she got as heavy as me. But now, for the first time in our lives, I weigh less than she does. She is so happy and thrilled for my success, but jealous, too. I see her struggle with thinking how impossible for her this all could be.
I had a moment earlier this week where I had a complete meltdown over...everything. The fact that I 'let myself go' for as long as I did, for being so unhealthy, for being so un-fit. I was so angry at myself. I can very much identify with the self anger you describe. I think it isn't just anger, but a despair of sorts as well. I know that when I look at my beautiful two boys that I don't want them to ever end of like me, or go through the things I have.
I'm glad you shared this.

I am still obese so I still identify with larger people, but I do feel an *intense* longing to reach out to folks that I see, to tell them that there are options - even though I know that they *know* that. We knew it when we were at our heaviest; we just didn't think it was possible for us.
I see this struggle with my identical sister the most. There were a few years when she was 'thin' and healthy and I wasn't. 4 kids for her, marriage, life, same old-same old issues that cause us to become so unhealthy, and she got as heavy as me. But now, for the first time in our lives, I weigh less than she does. She is so happy and thrilled for my success, but jealous, too. I see her struggle with thinking how impossible for her this all could be.
I had a moment earlier this week where I had a complete meltdown over...everything. The fact that I 'let myself go' for as long as I did, for being so unhealthy, for being so un-fit. I was so angry at myself. I can very much identify with the self anger you describe. I think it isn't just anger, but a despair of sorts as well. I know that when I look at my beautiful two boys that I don't want them to ever end of like me, or go through the things I have.
I'm glad you shared this.

I am still obese so I still identify with larger people, but I do feel an *intense* longing to reach out to folks that I see, to tell them that there are options - even though I know that they *know* that. We knew it when we were at our heaviest; we just didn't think it was possible for us.
I see this struggle with my identical sister the most. There were a few years when she was 'thin' and healthy and I wasn't. 4 kids for her, marriage, life, same old-same old issues that cause us to become so unhealthy, and she got as heavy as me. But now, for the first time in our lives, I weigh less than she does. She is so happy and thrilled for my success, but jealous, too. I see her struggle with thinking how impossible for her this all could be.
I had a moment earlier this week where I had a complete meltdown over...everything. The fact that I 'let myself go' for as long as I did, for being so unhealthy, for being so un-fit. I was so angry at myself. I can very much identify with the self anger you describe. I think it isn't just anger, but a despair of sorts as well. I know that when I look at my beautiful two boys that I don't want them to ever end of like me, or go through the things I have.
I'm glad you shared this.

We have had a terrible terrible ski season in the Pacific Northwest. no snow.... seriously, even in the mountains.
In January we had a pittance at Stevens pass so I got all excited and headed up after a half day of work to an afternoon of skiing. My son is an advanced snowboarder, but i am still skiing the bunny slopes so we parted ways. I have to pick up rental gear whilst he owns (thanks Mom) tuned gear just right for him.
so, I am in a huge hurry to make it to my 1 o clock lesson, and the place was pretty dead on a Thursday afternoon on a crappy snow season day so I decide to multitask, dash into the restroom whilst putting on my snow pants etc. I leaned the skis outside the stall, but was gearing up inside.
I am in there a few minutes when I get this odd feeling. Something is wrong. I look around - everything LOOKS normal. Then I realize what is missing - women's restrooms have sounds... chatty sounds. The sounds of two ladies talking, or a mom with her kids.. you hear voices. always... even on dead midweek day... somebody must walk in. I hear silence. another minute passes as I am gearing up and I start thinking.. I think I need to get out of here.
I take a deep breath, open the door.. and yup.. two guys are at the sink washing up. Out of the corner of my eye I see the urinals with a dude standing there with his back to me, thank goodness - how did I miss this obvious clue - I am in the FREAKING MENS ROOM!
It's not like I can make a quick exit.. oh no, I gotta gather up skis, poles, my gear bag, etc etc.
One of MANY nice things I can say about dudes, they don't freak out about this kind of stuff. They both had the decency to pretend I wasn't there whilst I tried to look as boylike as possible in my form fitting cold weather under armours... crap... they might have seen definately saw my profile in the mirror!
So, during my lesson I tell this story to a young woman as we ride the ski lift up and she says... I almost walked in there too.. at the last minute I saw the sign!
sheesh... see how easy it is to accidently conduct business in the "wrong room"!?!

Or when you are out with friends/family, and they ask you a question while you are chewing ... and you swallow so that you can answer, because "don't talk with food in your mouth". Then the terror that goes through your whole body as it DOES get stuck, the tears are welling up, and everyone is all "What can we do to help?" The only answer is .. "STOP expecting me to eat and talk to you at the same time!"
Lots of changes .... so many changes.

Guy alert! This wasn't posted in the ladies forum, so I guess it's okay to chime in..... I recently got to my original goal weight of 154... then decided that a 5-lb buffer would be good... but then it seemed that under 150 would be really great because it's such a nice round number... and of course, I wanted a 5-lb buffer for that too... so then my goal became 145... but then I found two "ideal weight" calculations, one at 148 and another at 142... and guess what's in the middle of those two numbers.... 145! So that's my final goal and I'm really good with that. As long as I can live under 150, I'm happy. BUT..... When I look in the mirror I don't see a fat guy anymore, but I do see the loose skin and the sharpei belly. I can't claim childbirth as a contributing factor, so it's all on me. And this morning, I was doing a plank exercise without a shirt on. When I looked down, my loose skin looked like drapery fabric, from my chest to my belly. Yikes!! But I decided, WTF... I can do freakin' planks now! I look pretty decent in clothes and I just bought a new bathing suit. Now again, I'll admit that guys have it easier in so many ways. I'm never going to want to look good in a 2-piece, and I can hide my sharpei and my thigh wrinkles under my suit. But I've decided that this is the right weight for me. For the first time (perhaps EVER) I don't desire to get any thinner. And I identify with the slimmer guy in the mirror, not the heavier guy I used to be. He's dead to me! I guess what I'm getting at is that after such a wonderful journey to good health, we should feel great about where we are. If you decide to get plastics, that's fine, but don't ever deny your accomplishments. Embrace and Celebrate them, because you've earned them!!!

To love yourself can be, and for some IS, the hardest thing to do. I look down at my body after being with it for 50-odd years and think of all it has been through. SOOOO many scars, soooo many surgeries over the years (we won't go into the why's or how-come's, not really necessary) and I ask myself "how on earth am I still here?" I see them as battle wounds, battles I have overcome by will, the support of my husband, and the grace of God. They will be to some absolutely hideous. To me they stand for something I can't even put into words. But I can say I am GLAD I have them, for without them I wouldn't be here. There more than likely will be more, before it's all said and done, and I'm as ready as I can be. I won't lie, it gets scarier each time, but if it means I can stay a little longer with the one God made for me, I'll do it! Makes me put things in perspective, makes me very thankful for a "hideous" body.

I don't know if my comment will add anything new to this discussion, but I wanted to share a conversation I had with my husband yesterday. I had one of the worst days since surgery and even before surgery yesterday. I joined a boot camp at a gym a few weeks ago and am working with a private trainer to help me n my way of getting fit. I go twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Well last Thursday I wasn't able to go because of getting a fill and another doctor's appointment that day. So I knew yesterday was going to be hellish, but still. I literally cried during the workout. I felt so ashamed at how hard it was, and angry that I let myself get to a point where I was so unhealthy and unfit. I literally high-tailed it out of the gym when it was over and sobbed in my car. When I was calmer, hubby and I talked and here is what he said:
We all carry two demons inside of us, the one who tells us we are nothing and the one that tells us we are perfect. The demon who tells us we are failures stands around trying to sell tickets to his fun house. Normally we are able to ignore it and go on about our days, but when we feel our most vulnerable, we succumb. We enter the fun house full of mirrors that reflect our failures, our regrets, our fears, our imperfections. And we are no better for having paid this visit to the fun house when we leave.
His words stuck with me all day and even into today, though I feel much better. I am still so early in the process. I have only lost 30 pounds so all I see is a fat person when I look in the mirror. I do try to find things about myself that I love. I have thin wrists and ankles, beautiful hands. I can appreciate my stretch marks from having carried two amazing children. My breasts have been saggy and flat-ish since puberty, lol (meaning I have never liked them and don't expect that to change. But they look good in a good bra!). I am in the camp that wants to get healthy, as of now. I am terrified of becoming dissatisfied once I lose weight. I don't want to wear a bikini necessarily, but I want to wear a one piece without a skirt. I have a tattoo on my wrist that says "I want, I want, I want." it is a quote from a book, but it has pertained so accurately to so many points in my life. The wanting but not knowing what I want; the wanting of things that seem impossible; the wanting of someone who has hope.
Like I said, I don't know if this adds anything, but as everyone above has stated, we have all felt this one, in one way or another. There are those of us that are 'jealous' of where you are - having lost your weight, feeling happy, proud, excited for you, and wanting the same for ourselves. We all battle this differently. I guess I just want to send virtual hugs and just say, "I *get* it. You aren't alone."

couldn't have said it better. Very few people outside hubby and sisters know about my WLS. I am a stay-at-home mom who home schools my oldest. i don't get out much. THIS is my main form of support. Drama NOT needed.

In person, I seldom talk TMI around men but on a forum it doesn't bother me. Most of these men have had wives or sisters they know this stuff exists, and as a mother to 2 boys and a husband tee hee I definitely know their stuff exists.

Six fills here. Good luck! How exciting. You sound like you've got a good mindset. I agree. Be patient. It's a process and we will get to goal. It takes awhile but it's worth it!

couldn't have said it better. Very few people outside hubby and sisters know about my WLS. I am a stay-at-home mom who home schools my oldest. i don't get out much. THIS is my main form of support. Drama NOT needed.