jane13

SOMEONE OUT THERE IS WORTH THE EFFORT!! By gawd, please... I should have been a man. I am a FIXER.

I had one PM me about being 'rude' to her after an "I'm hungry 5 days out from surgery tell me what I can eat AND ONLY SERIOUS ANSWERS" post and proceeded to tell me she was too busy worrying about passing her nicotine test to worry about what her post op diet was. She said she just wanted to "get on with the surgery".
So there ya go. Gives you some idea of the mentality of people. In other words, this will magically work without me doing any of the preparation or having any knowledge about what I need to do.

@@B-52 - I think the only difference between us is I by God's grace made the changes you did earlier just a few years younger than you. But I still struggle. I realized a few months ago that I was drinking too much, and had to really work to stop it. I'm now noticing I'm not exercising like I should and making the changes and decided to push myself to do a 10K instead of the 5K race I was planning in a couple of months. Often it's the chuckleheads that pop up on this list that actually make me go, "ick, I think I need to make sure I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing."
But yeah, most of the time I shake my head and want to yell "damn kids, get off my lawn."

Fat people are masters at "Self Denial" and "rationalization"
I can say this from personal experience....I could suppress the truth and reality so far down in my mind it didn't exist.
The fact I am only 5'8" and had to buy my clothes from a "Big and Tall" clothing store. The only pants I could buy had to have the elastic waistband.
I wouldn't look in the mirror, and it got to the point I would not step on the scale...ever!
The examples go on...
I currently have friends today, that if I suggest they join the gym I better duck!
As far as Rationalization, I have been on more diets anyone can imagine, including medical supervised diets...I failed miserably at everyone...why? I would rationalize...
I can have this little piece of cake, a little won't hurt, right?
I know I'm on a strict diet, but if I have this one good meal, I can fast tommarow...but then tomorrow I'm rationalizing something else, again. And before you know it, the whole thing goes down the tubes and I'm back to my old self.
I smoked 2 pack of cigarettes a day for over 35 years...same thing....can't tell you how many times I quit. I would buy a pack, smoke one cigarette and throw the pack out the car widow...crazy, right? Pretty soon I would realize how stupid (and expensive) that was and would just start smoking full force again.
I believe what you are seeing on this forum, are new people who even though they have had surgery, they still have that old mentality that they can do things and rationalize it away, and then be in denial about it.
They post these questions hoping someone will tell them it's fine, everything is going to be Ok.
But when confronted with the truth....well, I remember when someone would call me out...
It can be just as bad as confronting a high functioning alcoholic...can get nasty
The fact is, to loose weight or change oneself in any way, you have to be confronted with the truth.
Weight loss surgery is not a game...it's not a gimmick, a fad diet....it is major surgery designed to change and alter your life.
You're right, I don't know how some get past the psych eval... but they need to be confronted

@@LipstickLady sez "%^&." Spell that.
Someone wrote in one of the recent flying fish-fry topics that it's a wonder that some people pass the psych evaluation. I wrote the same a while back, but more to the point, that some IQ and reading comprehension testing might be better indicators. The resistance and tantrums are frustrating to vets and others who have a grasp of reality. Magic-seeking seems to be an organized sport. WLS and life overall have always been this way and will remain so. Ain't much to be done about it. That's why it's necessary to walk away from time to time. At least regroup and re-energize before the next attempt to help.
Rx: Fresh air.

We have all these newbies coming in with questions/statements that make me wonder if they ever sat down with a NUT, their surgeon or if they were given any type of pre-op training.

Is it OK to eat pizza/tacos/fried chicken? Is ice cream soft? How about milk shakes? I ate swedish fish/noodles/rice a few days post op. I am eating french fries and chicken nuggets, but it's ok because I'm ok so everyone else will be too. I want it so I ate it and I am going to get mad an anyone and everyone who tells me it wasn't a good idea.

Anyone who disagrees is mean, rude, sarcastic, judgmental, non supportive, a bully, horrible, rotten, a monster. I get that this backlash is a defense mechanism because they know deep down that they are wrong but it still sucks to watch this downward spiral that is happening here.

It's not great advice to chew and spit. It's not great advice to move along with your food stages because (you think) your body is telling you that it's OK. (Your body does NOT know best or you wouldn't be in this spot in the first place.)
Vets should leave because all the above advice and pandering and coddling is MUCH better than real, honest, truthful, experienced answers.

It's a freaking $h!tstorm out there the last few weeks. Seriously.

This is a timely post as a fellow Scorpio, my birthday is next week. I still identify as a WLS patient. I have restriction at most meals so kinda hard not to.
Like you and Babbs fitness is on the main stage of my life. If someone had asked me 5 years ago I would never have believed my current reality. I am motivated by body composition and set goals like fitting into a certain dress or looking a certain way. I find that if I do not constantly have a new goal, I get complacent and backslide.
Since surgery, I've gotten married. Grateful to have wedding pictures in a dress that I was proud to be photographed in and would never have thought it would be a strapless dress to boot.
I feel blessed to have had surgery and to have maintained my loss. I still attend my local support group a few times a year and stay on here as a way of giving back. Now, I live life and don't hide in pictures or avoid social situations anymore.

@@Julie norton
I get that none of us are exempt from weight gain. I've just made nutrition and working out my lifestyle. I still weigh myself in the morning. I just don't think about my surgery anymore.(the thrill of watching my weight go down is gone)
I'm getting my motivation from living at the gym, I like being a bad ass at my age. lol Its become my addiction. I don't think of myself as a surgery patient anymore.
I plan to participate here when I can. I just don't feel like part of the group some days...Life has just moved on.

Hurrah!!!
But don't think things can't change if you don't stay vigilant.
Just read here for a while and you will see plenty of whoopsies.
A bad month and things go south. I'm guessing it's everyday for us. Just keep trying is my motto. Everyday. Most are good
Some are not

The confidence and being in a happy place in life is huge. You have always been great support. Nice that we started the same time. Glad your still around Sent from my SM-G920T using the BariatricPal App

I don't feel much like a surgery patient anymore, but health and fitness are still definitely front and center for me (luckily!) Not for the absolute love of it, but for the sheer purpose of keeping the weight off. Don't get me wrong, I love feeling healthy and strong, but it takes a lot of work!
I am also totally comfortable knowing that this is my life now. I can't say I've lost friends or family because of the weight loss. If anything it's made me a happier, more confident person, thus being pretty fun to be around. I like that aspect of me, too!
For now I feel like I got this. Until I don't. And when and if that time comes, I'll deal with it using the nuggets of knowledge I've aquired over the last 2+ years. I know I'm in it for the long haul.

@@jintycb, to some of us, Kama Sutra is a way of life and serious biz. Please be respectful.

Hiya, I'm a few weeks away from my sixtieth-holy crap.............I only had my fiftieth a short while ago! WTF happens to time?
I was sleeved Oct '15 and am three quarters of my way to my ultimate goal. I feel WONDERFUL. Healthy, happy, full of energy and definitely not about to enter my seventh decade.
I walk five miles every morning with the dogs and it's a breeze. Not a puff, pant, nor wheeze. Yes, some of my bits still ache but that's due to being a ballet dancer and putting parts of my anatomy in positions that neither God or the Karma Sutra intended them to be put in. They ache a helluva lot less now that I have lost the toddlers who insisted on clinging onto my frame!

Hi I'm 56 years old and my surgery was just this past May 16th so I'm less than 3 months post op. I feel like I've done really well so far. I've lost a little over 56 pounds (this includes the weight I lost during my 2 week pre-op diet) and am now officially more than half way to my goal weight!
You'll do great! This is the best thing I've ever done for myself!

Age may slow the process for some "grown-ups," but you'll see that so many lose weight at a fast rate. No matter, you will lose weight at a surprising rate barring very unusual circumstances.
A better question to yourself might be "What do I want from surgery?" If it is to lose weight and have a better chance at maintaining the weight loss than you've had in the past, you'll be way ahead of the game. It's too easy, given expected stalls and the possibility of behaving as a mere mortal, to be unthrilled if you include specific numbers in your goal. Follow the guidelines given to you by your surgery practice and you'll be in good shape.
That maintenance is not a given bears mention. The sleeve will greatly minimize your capacity to overeat, which, in turn, helps maintenance. Maintaining, however, requires wise choices forever after. Too many people go in expecting no-effort maintenance because they know only what they want to know or believe; this, regardless of what they've been told and read along the way.
Best wishes.

Hate to chime in, I was 52, and I freakin rocked it. Got in the best shape I could at my size, and I have been really digging the 80+ pounds lost. The pre-op diet is to shrink your liver so the surgeon can go in from the side and cut your stomach. It he/she can get a straight shot they will get you done quickly reducing recovery time. This sleave thing is a tool. You can do it. Pre-op is only for a couple of weeks depending on how fatty the liver is. Then get walking and figure out what Protein works for you. Not sure Tai Chi is a great idea for the first month because IMHO it puts too much stress on the core, but please feel free to ask the surgery team. (NOTE this is a personal opinion based on my experience with Tai Chi, don't know what the Regis version is). The reason they don't want you too lift too much for the first month is for the staple line to fully heal. Hope that makes sense.
Age is just a number, and there are many here who were older than I was when they had their surgery and they freakin rocked it too.

@@Babbs that is my experience, as well. I have plenty of appetite, and can consume plenty. I do not fear for myself in old age.

Here's the thing, though. At almost 2 years out my appetite has come back and sometimes feel as if I can eat pre surgery quantities. I'm sure not, but sure feel like I can.
People don't seem to understand that the full effect of these surgeries are really only temporary. My husband is 10 years out RNY and he eats like a normal person now. I can't imagine by the time I'm elderly the surgery would have any effect on me or my appetite by then.

My mom died last year at 96 and a half. She suffered from Alzheimers and had a very long diagnosis (for 15 years).
She ate very well until the last two years of her life. Her appetite was reduced only when she began to lose the ability to chew her food well and we had to puree ALL her food. (Alzheimers is a BITCH of a disease.)
But then my mom really wanted to live. It's one of the many, many reasons I admired her so.

I was gonna say... my Mom's in her 80's and she has a very healthy appetite. Dad's in his late 70's and he has no trouble either.
Now, as a nurse, I can say that a lot of elderly people *do* have appetite issues, but most know to eat enough to maintain health. The ones we see who we can't get to eat anything typically have many other health issues, dementia is a biggie.

I started rebounding on the 3rd day post-op and it has gotten better every day since. Pour yourself 100% into following your plan and getting your Protein and Water in every day. Before you know it, the weight will come off, you will adjust to your new reality, and life will go on in new and exciting ways!
Good luck!

You'll get there, Im considered a success story, i lost 241 pounds in 368 days. Your mileage may vary, and its been the greatest part of my life outside of my wife of course, but the point here, is literally during the first week after surgery i told my wife If i could go back and undo this I would do it. I said that repeatedly. Now id like to go back and show myself what the results can be.
You can get there,
You WILL get there.
People here will help you.
You can do this!

Having surgery is never pleasant, and regret is VERY normal early out when we are feeling like crap for several weeks after. Just realize this is just TEMPORARY. Each day, each week that goes by and things normalize for you and you see yourself losing weight this will all be a distant memory.
Keep saying this to yourself:
This too shall pass.

I did my revision as many complications with mine. A few slips which meant all Fluid taken out resting it for a few months and start all over. Started having issues where port was, stomach very sensitive to touch, surgeon suggested revision. So happy I did it. Down 16 lbs since 9/27. Was told would come off slower but not worried, following plan per surgeon and no more worries about slips.
Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

Band was never an option for me. I dont like the idea of a foreign object being surgically placed inside of me...recipe for disaster. Infection, erosion, displacement. The whole going back for fills and unfills and fill again just seems far too cumbersome. Nothing against anyone who does it... I used to work on a neurosurgery unit. Shunts placed in the brain, screws in the neck rods in the spine often came back infected. Now if I had to have a pacemaker to keep my heart pumping thats another story-- Now they have a balloon they can put in you-- Im curious to hear about HCL acid eroding the balloon releasing harmful levels of air into the bloodstream and the body turning against itself because its a foreign object and all--
Ok enough. Wishing you all the best with your Bands. I'm loving my sleeve!!!!!!! So happy with my irreversible decision. One and done!