I’m amazed at the change in emotion as I go through this process and it gets closer and closer to my surgery date. I’m still vacillating between excitement and fear, and I presume that’s going to be the case until I’m on the operating table on December 18th. However, I no longer fear the procedure itself. I have the utmost confidence in my surgeon. Now, I am more apt to be fearful of the recovery itself, and occasionally the years ahead of me as I age. Since there is no long-term data specifically on my surgery type, the future is uncertain even though people have had portions of their stomachs removed due to various reasons including cancer. There are thousands upon thousands though, that have had successful surgeries and recovery times, and the number of those with life altering complications are slim. But, it does happen and I have to be educated and aware that the possibility exists. Nonetheless, the fear is an ever-constant subtlety that will likely remain. That’s the trouble with fear; it’s not something that is easily controlled.
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