tomi71

Probiotics, yogurt, and water, water, water.

Honesty is the best policy. If sex is an important part of a marriage then that needs to be said straight up. That way both parties have the opportunity to make clear and thoughtful decisions about their futures. I do have to bring up one thing though, just food for thought....if ones spouse was unable to have sex due to say, a different serious medical condition, would the feelings (both emotional and physical) of frustration be the same? Would there exist a temptation to satisfy elsewhere, those biological urges? The point I am trying to make is that sex is a profound, complicated, and psychological state of being....for both men and women. Yes we do it out of biological needs but we also (hopefully) do it out of deep feelings for our partner. But there are more ways to show love. Queue the eye rolling in 3...2...1: I know that if I was unable to ever have relations again, I'd like to think I would be Zen enough to tell my husband to treasure the time we had together but now its time to move on. Because I love him and only want his happiness. And if he decided he had to move on then whomever he chooses had BETTER love him right or else she'll meet the devil's niece.....me. Btw, he has said the exact thing to me....he's been deployed enough over the past 25 years so this is a common conversation. He doesn't believe me when I tell him I will never leave his side, btw. Lets hope I never have to prove it. He's said the same to me. I think the best way to "solve" this problem is a) don't take it personal, try marriage counseling. I will admit that as I typed a), I heard myself saying GTFOH! HOW DOES ONE NOT TAKE IT PERSONAL?? Its hard and I am no expert at not taking things personal but its worth a try. Also, for some this topic might seem facetious but keep in mind that someone/two or more people, are really hurting because of this issue in their marriage. There is no need to attack a fella or a lady who is pouring their heart out asking for help and input. At any rate, I know this is the guys room but I wanted to comment because I have been in the same boat. Its difficult. I had a very messed up pov about men. I used to truly believe they were incapable of real love and that us women can be easily replaced. Sadly, it took seeing an aunt die of cancer and an uncle still mourning her 30 years later and my grown son crying his eyes out on my shoulder because a long-time girlfriend broke up with him to see I was wrong in my thinking. So you can see by those two stories my hubby and I have had our issues. The good news is it can get better and when it does....wowwheeee!???? It just takes time and work and most importantly forgiveness and understanding and some time in neutral territory. Just remember, you can only control yourself. Don't threaten, don't give ultimatums.

@@proudgrammy I ❤️❤️❤️ your posts because I so appreciate your style of sense of humor! LOL

Sorry. You guys are in my thoughts. Its difficult but it can get better.

Don't let one mishap throw you off your path! And anyway, its Christmas! ???? I indulged a tad too but I exercise like a fiend. Do you find your tummy can't handle certain rich foods? That's been a great deterrent for me. When I desperately need something sweet and fruit won't do it I will munch on about a serving of dark chocolate-sea salt almonds. But I prefer Swiss Miss Diet Cocoa that I doctor up with a tbsp of cocoa powder and Splenda. I use either soy milk or Lactaid, 1% or non-fat. Google Eggface. Great stuff there.

Wow, tuna the day after? I was on clear liquids and gelatin. Was allowed protein shakes and broth for the first 4 weeks. My NUT allows for bread....flat breads, sparingly so I do eat some bread carbs. But no pasta , rolls, white potatoes, etc., even though my nut did say those were ok too sparingly but the look if those things just turn my stomach and I know I can't handle those bad crabs. I guess you have to do what works but keep in mind you are eating for health so good healthy proteins and fruits and veggies before all others!

I am sorry you are going through this. You are in my thoughts. Keep your chin up and take care of yourself!

Good luck! Best wishes and congrats! ☺️

LMBO! Add Hitler, Kim II-sung, Kim Jong-il, Kim Jong-un, Idi Amin, and a few others to that list! No need to apologize for your faith. I am an agnostic but I truly appreciate points of view because I know it comes from the heart and at the end if the day that is what matters the most. Thank you everyone. If I can ever return the favor just look for me on the boards. ????

OMG everyone! Thank you so much for the input. I will definitely look into the suggestions. I am glad to know I am not alone in this. Not that I am glad that other people suffer from this but it helps to know that people can understand how it feels. I have PTSD also so its like the trifecta, lol and I never learned to give myself a break. I am learning now, thanks to the sleeve. Health, both mentally and physically is my number 1 goal. What scares me the most is that people who know me would never guess I suffer with these issues. Then we see folks like Robin Williams...who'd have guessed he would go out like that? An acquaintance of mine also recently committed suicide as did one of my students a few years back. Its absolutely horrible. I know suicide is definitely NOT on my list of things to do.....mostly because I don't want to do that to my kids, spouse, family, etc. I just get tired of feeling this way. BUT I will keep my chin up, Celebrate my achievements, do my best to be altruistic, and take each lost pound one day at a time. Thank you everyone! You guys don't know how appreciated you are!

Thanks everyone! Sending those hugs right back to you! I feel better already. Depression is such a powerful monster.

I have suffered from depression & serious anxiety since I was a small child. I was painfully shy and suffered from serious mood swings. It wasn't until I reached my 30s before I got help. One therapist even said I might have Aspergers, which runs in family. I have always been heavy although at one point in during my teens I got within 15lbs of my "ideal" weight when I practiced martial arts. Anyway, the point of this post has to do with ongoing depression and anxiety, post-sleeve. I was hoping that the weight loss coupled with CBT, exercise and healthier eating would bring me some relief from feeling the anxiety and depression. I take medication which has stabilized my mood but I cannot shake these demons of depression and anxiety. We've (me and the Dr) tried different meds and only two has had the best results but after a while lose their effects. So, unfortunately, I still struggle. Somedays are good, somedays are so bad even my meds don't help and I am worn out from the years of battling in this war. In reading through the posts I see many who have struggle like mine too. So this is just a general question, if you struggle too, what techniques do you use that help? I am going to take a psych course about depression and anxiety because the way my mind works, the more I understand something, the better I can deal. My Doc does a good job with counseling me but I need the technical, science info. I am curious also as to how depression and anxiety can affect my sleeve. I worry about ulcers mostly. Any input is appreciated, just please be kind. Thank you.

I started back on caffeine at week 7. Tiny sips but I mix my beans..half caffeinated & half decaf. At about a cup a day in the am. My doc and NUT said caffeine is ok just no bubbly and do not consider it as part of my 64 oz of daily liquid. I sweeten with Splenda and use Lactaid or non-dairy creamer if no Lactaid in house. Once I used a little heavy cream. It also suppresses my appetite, not that I use it for that...I just need it to wake up because I am soooooo not a morning person. Ugh!

Congrats and good luck! I am so excited for you!!!! You'll do great!

You can estimate calories in a serving if its not listed in an app. Here's a great link: http://www.calorieking.com/foods/calories-in-chips-fries-french-fries_f-ZmlkPTU1MTE3.html Mind you, this works only if the serving you receive is accurate. Are you able to measure by sight? Like, a serving of meat s/b the size of a deck of cards, etc. Just remember if you eat fast food like McD & the like there's more salt than the Dead Sea in their so-called food. Err on the side of caution and just keep non-nutritional "treats" as a planned, once in a while treat. I went to Red Robin, ate 2 fries after eating most of the small chicken breast from the plain chicken breast sandwich ( didn't touch the roll as I can't stomach bread unless its flat and toasted) and lived to tell about it and still losing. Reset your mind to be mindful and start going to support groups again and go back to basics. Always, healthy protein first, complex carbs, then maybe a bite of a "nonsense" carb like fries or a cookie IF you must. You might find you are satisfied though if you eat as your NUT taught and probably won't want the bad stuff. Sometimes cravings are from a missing nutrient. I love Bariatricpal; its a great tool BUT I find far more help face-to-face at support meetings because some members are 2-3 years out and give great "watch out for xyz traps", and the sharks/trolls/sanctimonious attitudes that can show up on any online boards DON'T behave that way in person at support groups as the nurses and WLS vets who run them do not play when it comes to that mess. All the more reason to go to face to face meetings if you can. There are even some in my neck of the woods that Skype. One suggestion a vet gave who started his journey with about 200lbs to lose, was join WW. Once he hit goal and maintained he earned the coveted lifetime membership and therefore support forever! Keep your chin up. We are all human. WLS is a tool....like Wonder Woman's golden bracelets; they only work when you work it! Don't give up on yourself! Have faith in yourself! Happy New Year! PS: perspective... Are you at ground zero? Look back and count your achievements since your procedure. You'll be pleasantly surprised.

First congrats!!!! My nerves didn't kick in til they strapped me to op table. I brought my phone, Kindle, robe, and crochet. Never got to read or crochet. I wore lose sweats, a t-shirt and my largest pair of granny panties to the hospital & that is what I went home in. I also brought my slippers, a brush and bobbie pins. I had popsicles (sugar-free) waiting at home as well as sugar-free jello to which I added some unflavored protein. This, along with water helped me stay hydrated.

Yes. Those are my best friends. Lol

Tofu makes a really good dessert base. Pinterest has a decent amount of nutritious tofu-based dessert ideas.

I realize this sounds cliché but what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. You can and will get through this! Remember you are not alone in this fight and I think its safe to say you have an army of people on these boards who have your back! Only the present is exists; not the past nor the future. Concentrate on happiness right now. Easier said than done, I know but its a good habit to get into. Keep your chin up! This too shall pass. ????

My sweet tooth comes alive at night so I have a cup of Dt. Swiss Miss cocoa that I doctor up with 2 tsp Splenda 2 tsp of non-dairy creamer 3 tsp of unsweetened cocoa powder & a dash of vanilla and cinnamon. Perfect for cold winter nights and I rarely finish the entire cup.

Gawd yes!!! My tailbone is killing me as I type this. Its pretty annoying. I do hope it goes away. Then again, its great motivation to get up & move.

When i cam now shop an stylish stores. When I have to rap up in a blanket by 5:30 cuz the cold is freezing my bones.

Does it give you the read outs like the scale at the NUTS?

Look at it as a question of curiosity. Nothing anyone said on this board stopped anyone from getting the needed help. Its just food for thought. No need to judge but yet ask not to be judged. I think this dialogue was really interesting and insightful.

Same exact thing on my end. But everyone is different. The sad thing is if the docs (the people behind the science of this procedure) are agreeing that a lower weight person with co-morbidities can be a good candidate for the surgery but the insurers won't cover, there creates even more problems because the patients' are not being afforded optimal care. But I really meant people who are clearly not a candidate (like my anorexic friend). There are those out there and there are unscrupulous doctors our there too. Conrad Murray, anyone? The conversation reminds me of TI's wife, Tiny. Tiny, I believe, went on a medical vacation to either South America or Europe(?) because she wanted here eye color changed. From news I saw I don't believe she had any underlying medical eye problems. So she found a doctor overseas and had her brown eyes changed to blue. Only because she wanted blue eyes. I bet there's a ton of judgement heaped at her but who knows what she was going through that blue eyes wouldn't fix....emotional issues? Maybe she got teased about brown eyes? Maybe there are blue-eyes in her family? There are blue-eyed folks in mine! But I was one who judged her, btw, and after reading the market for said procedure and how the procedure is done and what protocols are in place to ensure patient is a prime candidate, I felt like she allowed herself this very dangerous procedure despite not have a clear medical need. I think folks felt that they were being attacked and I don't think OP had a troll-like agenda as it seems many took it as.