Mrs. Reid

I don't have a problem with the fact that a lot of men want me now who would never have looked at me twice two years ago. We can't help what we are attracted to and to be honest I have zero interest in dating a fat guy, so I don't really get to get mad if men have no interest in me because I'm a fat girl. My logic is that dating is a bit like selling a house. Do you put the house on the market when the tile is torn up, the kitchen is from the 60's, and the carpet is stained? No, because you recognized that you are not going to get a quality buyer because the house is unattractive.
Comparably, appearances matter in people too. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with a person who pants and heaves and sweats all over you, while crushing you in bed? Do you want a man who can't sit comfortably in booths at dinner, who can't ride roller coasters with you, who can't shop in normal stores, and who has a serious health condition that you will need to deal with if you are his partner? Do you want to be with someone who can't control their eating, who is not healthy, and who very well may have other complications as a result of their weight? I can't speak for you, but I certainly don't.
Wanting to date a person who is a healthy weight is not shallow, it's simply a fact of life for many people. We cannot help who we are attracted to. I don't like super skinny dudes, fat dudes, or really tall dudes....I'm not shallow I just know what I want so I don't waste their time. Don't you appreciate that someone else does the same for you if physically they realize they just aren't into you?
I'm not saying you're not a wonderful person, a kind, loving, fantastic woman who deserves all of the love in the world. I'm saying don't get offended because guys aren't into you for whatever reason. I got dumped once when I was 130 pounds because my boobs were too big, once because I wasn't tan enough, once because I was too short, and once because I was too fat (at the time I was about 145). Not everyone is going to like everyone, so I personally am fine with a man not wanting to date me if he's not physically attracted to me because otherwise he's simply wasting both of our time. I remodeled my "house" and my buyer's market dramatically improved. It's not being shallow, it's simply understanding how the game works.
Also, as a note, your tracker says you are 200 pounds, which is NOT a big woman. There are plenty of men who are very happy with a woman that size and plenty that want someone bigger or smaller. You just have to find the right one. Good luck!

I too am a scale junkie. I am 6 months post op and have no idea what I weigh. My last weight check was at my 6 week post-op checkup. I have been measuring myself and I have gone from size 22 to size 16. I am going to buy a scale next week and see if I can't have a healthier relationship with it than the one I had before. If not, then I am prepared to throw it out again and wait for my next doctors appointment to check my weight.
By the way, it is so nice to know that other people have the same scale junkie problem that I have.

Get the scale out of your house. Have a friend or relative hide it. You'll get weighed when you show up for surgery, so you'll know your pre-surgery starting point.
And yes, your cycle can play havoc with what weight shows up on the scale. So can Constipation, increasing your exercise, and your body being weird and refusing to play by the rules you expect it to play by. Get used to it -- your weight loss is never going to be in a linear slope down. There will be all sorts of starts and stops along the way.
Also, keep in mind that the pre-op diet isn't about weight loss, it's about shrinking your liver.
PS I'm serious about getting the scale out of your house. You don't need it and it's making you upset and stressed. GET RID OF IT.

I'm not in a relationship (thankfully) but I am losing my best friend. She has turned into a painfully polite person at work, but doesn't talk to me like she once did. She had the bypass a decade ago but gained back a lot of weight. She has been working out for the past year and has lost a bit, but when she found out I was going for the surgery she has since started distancing herself from me. It was hurtful at first but now I feel like she was not a real friend in the first place. Hindsight is 20/20 and now I see that there were problems in the friendship that I glossed over because she was my BFF. After the surgery, my life is going to change, and how I pick my friends is also going to change.

I really hope not. I have dreadlocs and I have no idea what I would do without them.

I don't think it is fair to question someone's motivation because they are having a hard time. I bet there is not one single one of you who has done every single step of this journey perfectly. You may be struggling post op with getting your Water or Protein down...why can't you 'just do it'? You don't really want it. You may have struggled pre-op with cutting negative people out of your life. Why can't you 'just do it'? You must not have really wanted it. Every person is different and just because you overcame a particular part of the puzzle does not mean other people who struggle with that particular issue is unmotivated and isn't ready.
Every single one of us is here because we have been unable to control our relationship with food.
Let she/he who be without sin cast the first stone.

I don't think it is fair to question someone's motivation because they are having a hard time. I bet there is not one single one of you who has done every single step of this journey perfectly. You may be struggling post op with getting your Water or Protein down...why can't you 'just do it'? You don't really want it. You may have struggled pre-op with cutting negative people out of your life. Why can't you 'just do it'? You must not have really wanted it. Every person is different and just because you overcame a particular part of the puzzle does not mean other people who struggle with that particular issue is unmotivated and isn't ready.
Every single one of us is here because we have been unable to control our relationship with food.
Let she/he who be without sin cast the first stone.

I never ate off plan until I passed goal. I followed every instruction my doctor gave me. I have gotten 60g+ Protein and 64oz+ Water every day. (Except when I was so nauseous from a medication I was on for a C. diff infection that I couldn't even swallow my own spit...which of course led to dehydration and IV fluids at which point my doctor and I found an alternative solution to cure the infection. In other words, make sure you drink!). I take my Vitamins every day. I get my bloodwork done as recommended and adjust supplements accordingly. I am active everyday. I lost over 100% of my excess weight and have kept it off for 7 months. Sure, now I eat deserts and carbs and drink alcohol, but I'm in maintenance and I'm allowed anything and everything in moderation. Any weight gain I observe I immediately check by going back to strict Protein and veggies.
Dear God: Please make me as perfect as Kindle,

@@ProjectMe You have degrees, am I supposed to be impressed? You are an all American...do you think that makes you some kind of expert?, you would not have mentioned them if you did not think so. Then why were you fat? You were a FAT woman, It was because you did not do everything right. You had struggles...YOU fell flat on your face and YOU screwed up. OP has her issues..I am sure that not everyone told you what a total f**k up you were. I am sure there were those who stayed in your corner and who accepted you and held your hand when the chips were down. I think that in this world of fat degradation, everyone gets as much tough love as they can handle. You may have overcome you FAT issues and paid your FAT knowledge forward. Now you are some kind of expert on who needs your FAT tough love?

@@Kindle Maybe you didn't cheat once on you're pre-op diet. Great for you! But what about all the other pieces of the puzzle? Perhaps you are one of the blessed ones who never had a problem with anything in your life. Then why are you here? What did you struggle with? Are you so perfect that you are the person in this world who has the right to dish out tough love to another? I don't know you...but I know that you are human. And as a human....you messed up....you failed...you tried your best and you fell down flat on your face! I know this because you are here. You followed your doctors orders to a T? Well, then why couldn't you follow a diet to a T? You needed help, just like the OP. Who are you to dish out 'tough love'? Who are you to judge?

I don't think it is fair to question someone's motivation because they are having a hard time. I bet there is not one single one of you who has done every single step of this journey perfectly. You may be struggling post op with getting your Water or Protein down...why can't you 'just do it'? You don't really want it. You may have struggled pre-op with cutting negative people out of your life. Why can't you 'just do it'? You must not have really wanted it. Every person is different and just because you overcame a particular part of the puzzle does not mean other people who struggle with that particular issue is unmotivated and isn't ready.
Every single one of us is here because we have been unable to control our relationship with food.
Let she/he who be without sin cast the first stone.

I'm not in a relationship (thankfully) but I am losing my best friend. She has turned into a painfully polite person at work, but doesn't talk to me like she once did. She had the bypass a decade ago but gained back a lot of weight. She has been working out for the past year and has lost a bit, but when she found out I was going for the surgery she has since started distancing herself from me. It was hurtful at first but now I feel like she was not a real friend in the first place. Hindsight is 20/20 and now I see that there were problems in the friendship that I glossed over because she was my BFF. After the surgery, my life is going to change, and how I pick my friends is also going to change.

I don't think it is fair to question someone's motivation because they are having a hard time. I bet there is not one single one of you who has done every single step of this journey perfectly. You may be struggling post op with getting your Water or Protein down...why can't you 'just do it'? You don't really want it. You may have struggled pre-op with cutting negative people out of your life. Why can't you 'just do it'? You must not have really wanted it. Every person is different and just because you overcame a particular part of the puzzle does not mean other people who struggle with that particular issue is unmotivated and isn't ready.
Every single one of us is here because we have been unable to control our relationship with food.
Let she/he who be without sin cast the first stone.

I don't think it is fair to question someone's motivation because they are having a hard time. I bet there is not one single one of you who has done every single step of this journey perfectly. You may be struggling post op with getting your Water or Protein down...why can't you 'just do it'? You don't really want it. You may have struggled pre-op with cutting negative people out of your life. Why can't you 'just do it'? You must not have really wanted it. Every person is different and just because you overcame a particular part of the puzzle does not mean other people who struggle with that particular issue is unmotivated and isn't ready.
Every single one of us is here because we have been unable to control our relationship with food.
Let she/he who be without sin cast the first stone.

I'm not in a relationship (thankfully) but I am losing my best friend. She has turned into a painfully polite person at work, but doesn't talk to me like she once did. She had the bypass a decade ago but gained back a lot of weight. She has been working out for the past year and has lost a bit, but when she found out I was going for the surgery she has since started distancing herself from me. It was hurtful at first but now I feel like she was not a real friend in the first place. Hindsight is 20/20 and now I see that there were problems in the friendship that I glossed over because she was my BFF. After the surgery, my life is going to change, and how I pick my friends is also going to change.

@@Kindle Maybe you didn't cheat once on you're pre-op diet. Great for you! But what about all the other pieces of the puzzle? Perhaps you are one of the blessed ones who never had a problem with anything in your life. Then why are you here? What did you struggle with? Are you so perfect that you are the person in this world who has the right to dish out tough love to another? I don't know you...but I know that you are human. And as a human....you messed up....you failed...you tried your best and you fell down flat on your face! I know this because you are here. You followed your doctors orders to a T? Well, then why couldn't you follow a diet to a T? You needed help, just like the OP. Who are you to dish out 'tough love'? Who are you to judge?

I don't think it is fair to question someone's motivation because they are having a hard time. I bet there is not one single one of you who has done every single step of this journey perfectly. You may be struggling post op with getting your Water or Protein down...why can't you 'just do it'? You don't really want it. You may have struggled pre-op with cutting negative people out of your life. Why can't you 'just do it'? You must not have really wanted it. Every person is different and just because you overcame a particular part of the puzzle does not mean other people who struggle with that particular issue is unmotivated and isn't ready.
Every single one of us is here because we have been unable to control our relationship with food.
Let she/he who be without sin cast the first stone.

I don't think it is fair to question someone's motivation because they are having a hard time. I bet there is not one single one of you who has done every single step of this journey perfectly. You may be struggling post op with getting your Water or Protein down...why can't you 'just do it'? You don't really want it. You may have struggled pre-op with cutting negative people out of your life. Why can't you 'just do it'? You must not have really wanted it. Every person is different and just because you overcame a particular part of the puzzle does not mean other people who struggle with that particular issue is unmotivated and isn't ready.
Every single one of us is here because we have been unable to control our relationship with food.
Let she/he who be without sin cast the first stone.

I don't think it is fair to question someone's motivation because they are having a hard time. I bet there is not one single one of you who has done every single step of this journey perfectly. You may be struggling post op with getting your Water or Protein down...why can't you 'just do it'? You don't really want it. You may have struggled pre-op with cutting negative people out of your life. Why can't you 'just do it'? You must not have really wanted it. Every person is different and just because you overcame a particular part of the puzzle does not mean other people who struggle with that particular issue is unmotivated and isn't ready.
Every single one of us is here because we have been unable to control our relationship with food.
Let she/he who be without sin cast the first stone.

I don't think it is fair to question someone's motivation because they are having a hard time. I bet there is not one single one of you who has done every single step of this journey perfectly. You may be struggling post op with getting your Water or Protein down...why can't you 'just do it'? You don't really want it. You may have struggled pre-op with cutting negative people out of your life. Why can't you 'just do it'? You must not have really wanted it. Every person is different and just because you overcame a particular part of the puzzle does not mean other people who struggle with that particular issue is unmotivated and isn't ready.
Every single one of us is here because we have been unable to control our relationship with food.
Let she/he who be without sin cast the first stone.

I don't think it is fair to question someone's motivation because they are having a hard time. I bet there is not one single one of you who has done every single step of this journey perfectly. You may be struggling post op with getting your Water or Protein down...why can't you 'just do it'? You don't really want it. You may have struggled pre-op with cutting negative people out of your life. Why can't you 'just do it'? You must not have really wanted it. Every person is different and just because you overcame a particular part of the puzzle does not mean other people who struggle with that particular issue is unmotivated and isn't ready.
Every single one of us is here because we have been unable to control our relationship with food.
Let she/he who be without sin cast the first stone.

I don't think it is fair to question someone's motivation because they are having a hard time. I bet there is not one single one of you who has done every single step of this journey perfectly. You may be struggling post op with getting your Water or Protein down...why can't you 'just do it'? You don't really want it. You may have struggled pre-op with cutting negative people out of your life. Why can't you 'just do it'? You must not have really wanted it. Every person is different and just because you overcame a particular part of the puzzle does not mean other people who struggle with that particular issue is unmotivated and isn't ready.
Every single one of us is here because we have been unable to control our relationship with food.
Let she/he who be without sin cast the first stone.

@@ProjectMe You have degrees, am I supposed to be impressed? You are an all American...do you think that makes you some kind of expert?, you would not have mentioned them if you did not think so. Then why were you fat? You were a FAT woman, It was because you did not do everything right. You had struggles...YOU fell flat on your face and YOU screwed up. OP has her issues..I am sure that not everyone told you what a total f**k up you were. I am sure there were those who stayed in your corner and who accepted you and held your hand when the chips were down. I think that in this world of fat degradation, everyone gets as much tough love as they can handle. You may have overcome you FAT issues and paid your FAT knowledge forward. Now you are some kind of expert on who needs your FAT tough love?

@@VSGAnn2014 You have misunderstood me 100%. I am not upset nor bent out of shape. Neither you nor Kindle have been 100 compliant in every step of the way. Kindle may have lost the weight but even without knowing her, I know that she screwed up. I know that she did not comply with every step of what she was 'supposed' to do every step of the way. And I can tell you VSGAnn2014, that neither did YOU! As I said before...Let she/he who be without sin cast the first stone.

@@Kindle Maybe you didn't cheat once on you're pre-op diet. Great for you! But what about all the other pieces of the puzzle? Perhaps you are one of the blessed ones who never had a problem with anything in your life. Then why are you here? What did you struggle with? Are you so perfect that you are the person in this world who has the right to dish out tough love to another? I don't know you...but I know that you are human. And as a human....you messed up....you failed...you tried your best and you fell down flat on your face! I know this because you are here. You followed your doctors orders to a T? Well, then why couldn't you follow a diet to a T? You needed help, just like the OP. Who are you to dish out 'tough love'? Who are you to judge?