Beni

@@Shadow427 Thank you, yep have to roll with the punches but it was a disaster. ,

My daughter, at the time about 8 years old, watched me eat the leftovers on my plate after dinner. I had dinner (a generous helping, I am sure) and as I was about to place the dishes in the dishwasher, I decided the leftover food on my plate shouldn't go to waste and I ate it. I was obviously struggling to eat since I was already full. My sweet daughter looked at me and said, "Mommy, you are not the garbage can." That statement has remained with me. It was a reminder that I had lost my way and desperately needed help. At that moment I felt like the overflowing garbage can that you try to squeeze in yet another large item. It doesn't fit but you push it in anyway. Yeah! Not cool. Time to get help, I did.

Wow pink, even though I too went through the same process, watching yours sent shivers up my spine. It made it real. Thank you so much for sharing. Amazing!

Yesterday, I had a NSD (NSV = non-scale victory NSD = non-scale disaster) When you loose weight, a problem I never had before surgery, your pants get too loose like ALL THE TIME. Honestly doesn't that sound like the worst rant ever. Well, guess what? My car keys fell out of my pants' pocket while flushing the toilet. They are now halfway to the big blue ocean. I, off course, was one and half hours away from home. OMG, how unlucky could I be. Hope everyone is doing well in their loose pants. At this time of year, I can't help but feel THANKFUL for all that I was able to achieve this past year. So very grateful for this surgery, my pals at Bariatric Pal and a fighting chance at leading a normal life without the burden of obesity and all it's devastating illnesses. This Thanksgiving day, I will get on my knees because I am so very grateful for all that I have. Love you all "HAPPY TURKEY DAY."

I don't use protein drinks. The only time I did was after surgery because you can't eat for a while. Once I reached the soft food stage they were gone. This was the medical recommendation I received. I was encouraged to get protein from real foods even if that meant puree (in the early stages) I would occasionally use unflavored protein powder in the foods I ate but in small amounts were I couldn't even notice it. There is no need to have protein shakes.

I lived on chickpeas from month 4 to about 12 months. It was one of the few things that never bothered my tummy and I could eat it slowly. However, not all cans of chick peas are alike, some of the less expensive brands are horrible. They are undercooked, it's amazing how there is such a range in quality. I am going to try your recipe, it sounds delicious.

It took me a long time to be able to tolerate eating normally but at one year out I am fine. At 4 months it was still rough for me. I could only eat 1/4 cup at a time and I had to go super slow. It does get better.

@@Luna222 I am glad you are allowing yourself to be happy. I think it's a big struggle for us as a group. For so long we felt miserable about who we were that we got used to it. Our normal was feeling bad and it is hard to change because it was a place we knew how to live in. It's almost like with any other self defeating life style. Like hoarders know it's bad for them but they are comfortable in their misery. I wasn't happy but I was definitely resigned to my role of the invisible fat person in the room. I took crumbs because I felt like I only deserved crumbs. Now I want more out of life. Still not asking for the moon but working on it. After all it is a process.

@@smiley922 Oh my gosh what a great result. I am so happy for you. I am waiting a bit because things are still shifting for me. For example my tummy is looking a lot smaller now. Breast lift, I think will have to be a must. No way things are going to defy gravity. If you don't mind sharing details of your plastic surgery we would love to hear from you. I am sure we would all benefit from any advise or info you have.

I have not been sick even once since my surgery. It is quite remarkable. Surely by now I would have caught a cold. I firmly believe my imune system is stronger. I used to be sickly with lots of ailments. Even my back is absolutely fine. I used to have to spend days in bed because my back hurt so bad. My husband had to help me get up to go to the bathroom. Gosh, I can leap out of bed now. I did try the other day, so I know I can, lol. I'm at 155 lbs. That's a 115 lbs lost in one year. Amazing.

@@Luna 222 You look so nice and your guy is gorgeous. Lucky guy, he has you.

@@misstvb There were hardships in my first year. I did get sick early on and I remember the days when one single bite would take me over the edge and I would get sick. I couldn't tell when I was full and I could only eat a 1/4 cup at a time. But now I can eat a normal meal. Small but pretty normal. I do have to work at keeping my meals healthy and eating slowly. I tend to eat in less then 10 minutes but I know I should slow it to 20 minutes. Lately I notice I am hungry more often and my NUT warned me this will happen and that's why its so crucial to eat like a bariatric patient. Sometimes I don't want to and I pay the price. However, I think it is a small price compared to how good I feel. My energy level is so much better and my outlook on life as well. We are all a work in progress, a masterpiece in the making. The work is not finished yet but I know all our battle wounds are part of our process. This is how we achieve greatness. It's our own way, the road we have chosen because the hand we were dealt pointed this way. We had the courage to take the leap in the middle of great fear. I was scarred out of my mind when I made the decision to have my insides rearranged. Any reasonable individual would find it barbaric. However, we knew our struggle was too deep and we could not dig ourselves out of the pit we were in alone. My surgery was my gladiator moment. Was it wrong to battle or not? Is not the question for me but the fact that I acted upon a problem I could not solve - my obesity. I did not lie down and die (wanted to, believe me), I battled and I will continue to do so. To make a long story short, for me this surgery is like standing on the edge of the high diving board and jumping. Should I have jumped or not does not matter. It is the fact that I did that merits acknowledgment. Perhaps next time you wonder, if you are happy about your surgery, pause for a moment, take a look at you standing at the edge of the high diving board and jumping. Only then, will you see the courageous woman that you are. I can see her from where I stand and I am amazed at her courage.

Congratulations on baby #2. You will have your hands full my friend but one day at a time is how it goes. Please take good care of yourself. You have come so far. You had the most complications in our group and you came out of every single one a better woman. The first trimester will be over and hopefully the nausea. Try to eat as much and as healthy as you can. WOW what a surprise!

@@amylynns I think your Breakfast doesn't sound that bad. My NUT tells me the key thing is not so much what you eat (as long as you are within the range of healthy food) but how you eat. Those of us that get in trouble are the ones who are not following these requirements. We have to eat 3 meals and they have to last a good portion of time. 20 to 25 minutes. I don't usually make it but I try. And then a couple Snacks. There have been days that I was more like 10 tiny snacks and no meals. NO GOOD. If I don't eat a proper meal, I am a little hungry two hours later. I am so proud of you forgoing back to school and pursue your dream. This is it folks. Time to rock and roll!

@@LisaCO Absolutely running into these problems. The plumber was checking me out, imagine that. He was full on flirting too, OMG. I honestly did not know what to do. I regressed back to high school, the last time this was going on. My inner reaction was - you creep. But then, a part of me liked it. I am in no danger of going down that road but I could see how someone single could replace food with sex. It scares me a little because other women probably deal with this all their lives and have learned to cope. We on the other end are completely unprepared with the self confidence to handle it. When we were obese there was a little comfort in being invisible. That cloak is gone. Now we have to face the world in a new way. I don't think my husband knows how to handle it either. But then maybe he needs to because we were taken for granted for so long we became pieces of furniture. Like a comfortable recliner that is always there. We must take life in our own hands and carve a path in the full knowledge that we are "ALL THAT" and we deserve nothing but the best. As I put my foot forward everyday I want it to be to become better and make the world around me better. Nearly one year on, I am at a point were I think I can look towards being amazing become I am, I always was but I was lost in a sea of despair and self pity. I wouldn't even speak up because I felt I was the fat woman nobody cared about.

Hi Everyone, Loved all your posts can't believe it has been a year. As soon as I have a minute I will respond to some of your posts. Got to run

@@tacycakes Loved your post on your relationship with food. It was wonderful to read because I too do the same things. I look back on all the food funerals I had before surgery. They were really food funerals for the person I was back then. They are not for me now. The person I am now is not that hungry. Yes, I enjoy eating but something light and refreshing. Blueberries and greek yogurt are heavenly. A bite of some thing sweet is all I need. I would never have ever dreamed that a chocolate bar could last 2 months. I ate it all but one tiny bite at a time. Remember the days when a favorite desert would barely last a day? Now it sits like your chocolate eclair in abandon and neglect. How dreamy is that. I think we (I certainly did) used food as a blanket of protection. It was our friend it loved us because it made us feel good. In part deep inside we needed love but we didn't know how to get it or nurture it. We substituted with something that felt good. Food will do that, then, it became a habit. Now food is not a blanket, it's just food, that what we need to live. That's what food is supposed to be. Now we can move on to some other way of nurturing our inner child. That fragile human being that needs love and acceptance so very desperately - mostly from ourselves. Really, it is not until we can love ourselves that we can be free. For me, loving me will be a life long pursuit, I am sure but I am well on the road to recovery. I am a "Recovering Obese Person." That's a thing and we know it!

So, people are flirting with me. Not something I am used to. It has been so long since that happened I have forgotten how to even react. Mostly I get shocked but I hope my face doesn't show it. How is all that going for you all?

@@LisaCO Congratulations on your 5K. Well done, isn't it amazing what a year does after WLS. You look so nice and your flushed face after the run is one of victory and I love it. We are all new people. So many times I meet someone I used to know and they don't recognize me at all. Jeez I don't even recognize me on some pictures. Was I really that big?

@@Shadow427 Fantastic news on the job. We love you too. I love all my fellow gladiators like sisters. We went through the fire together and we came out the other side. The scariest, bravest thing I ever did was WLS. Even braver then becoming a mom because on that one I didn't know what I was getting myself into. With the surgery, I knew things could go really wrong. But I had faith and hello, I couldn't be happier with the results. The fears were mostly because I am a worry wart. Yes things can go wrong but we just need to look at the statistics and they are pretty good. Went shopping today and I am a size 8 pants. I have not been a size size 8 pants since college and even then for maybe only 5 minutes. I am actually trying to eat more because I am losing more weight then my goal. Never, those words "trying to eat more" have been uttered from this mouth before. WOW!

@@amylynns So glad you are loving college. It's nice to be in the middle of things. Your "hunger" sounds exactly like mine, a bit of pain in my stomach and if I don't eat something then the sensation gets worst. I too eat well and I am perfectly happy with my diet. I eat everything, just in very small quantities. The usual food is very healthy but I will have a bite or two of something. Like your two skittles, 1/2 a banana, a sliver of pie (but not alone, I have to eat sweets only after a proper meal or I get a funny feeling.) My pants are too big again. All my size 12 pants fall off. Blast, I am never going to settle on a size! I'm a size 10 now which for me is perfect.

Besides the usual string of "Hypothetical Horrors" (boy I had a long list of those), the absolute worst thing that happened, was a nausea incident. This happened 4 months after surgery. We went out to dinner to my favorite restaurant and after careful consideration, I decided an appetizer lamb quesadilla would be great. I could pick the lamb and some cheese and leave the tortilla. Well, lucky me, I hit the jackpot with the jalapeños. It was delicious but spicy. It caused a stomach reaction that can only be qualified as epic nausea. It required many trips to the bathroom. Fortunately, the bathroom was not a stall and I had relative privacy. My nausea was so violent nothing helped. It lasted over an hour. My friends were very concerned and nobody even knew I had surgery. I would return to the table drink a little Water and run back to the bathroom, countless times. At some point, I decided I had to go home, I just had to make it through the front door. If I could only make it to the front door without losing my Cookies it would be so good. I worked on mind over matter to achieve that goal. On the way home we had to stop by the side of the road and get sick twice more and it's only a 5 minute ride. A video of my runs to the bathroom while holding a napkin over my mouth would have made U-tube history and some of those were mad sprints too. I must have made 20 plus trips to the restroom. OMG, can you imagine! I was so sick I couldn't even leave because I was going to get sick before I got to the front door. I never went back to that restaurant, my memory of that event is still overwhelming. No more Lamb quesadillas for me and jalapeños are not my favorite either.

Yep, been there done that. Isn't it horrible but then that's how you learn to take it slow and chew well.

It is indeed your new birthday. I had surgery almost a year ago and I plan a celebration. I have lost 110 lbs and have reached my goal. It's fantastic but the amazing thing is how good I feel. I feel like I reset the clock 20 years because I feel the kind of energy I had back then. The first 4 months were a little difficult managing food and drink but after that I have been great. Only once in a blue moon I get sick because I tend to eat too fast and don't chew enough, my bad. I have to be careful not to eat too much desert too but my taste buds have changed. Now my idea of a wonderful dessert is Greek 100 yogurt with a handful of blueberries mixed in.

Today I reached my goal of 160lbs. That's a 110 lbs loss. FREAKING UNBELIEVABLE. Yesterday, I realized I fit in my teen daughter's clothes. Not that I am going to wear them, that dress was way too short but hello, I could. If I wanted to look like a "tart." You know way too short dress, trying to look like 20 is not a good look, lol. I was perfectly happy with 165 and then in the period of two weeks I lost 5 lbs. Not sure how. I am busy like a bee but I am eating 3 meals and one snack. Sometimes 2 Snacks or even 3. My next challenge is going to be not losing any more weight. Not sure how I'm going to accomplish that. Must eat more! Never thought I could say that about me. I already have snacks everywhere. I never leave the house without stuffing my purse and my car with snacks. I actually eat more in my car then I ever did. I' always worrying that I must eat, or not forget to eat. I don't have head hunger, in fact, I have the opposite, I am hardly ever hungry. I feel weak and know it's because I need to eat something. Does anyone feel that way? Do you feel hungry? I am curious about what your relationship with food is like a year after surgery.