The Candidate

I'm so sorry for your loss! I had my surgery at 59 and I can identify with the recovery process. I had literally no pain and in fact after surgery I had to look to see if they had done it. However I have Liver Disease from autoimmune disorder. Recovery was especially hard . It took me the better part of 2 months to get back to normal without feeling like I just couldn't do another thing or walk another step. Fatigue which is part of the disease issue of mine was terrible in compounding it with surgery. But after my recovery, wow what a difference. I had energy that I had never had before and felt so good. I too want to see my grandkids get married, graduate college etc. I know both of us are doing this for the right reasons..

You have a wonderful and heartbreaking story to tell. Thank you for sharing it with us. I was 54 when I had the surgery and I am 55 now. I struggled with my weight my entire life. WLS is definitely the best thing I ever did for myself. I know you're going to feel the same way.
It's never too late to change your life for the better, and you are living proof of that. I am sad to hear of your many sorrows, and equally happy to hear how you were able to move past it.
You are a role model and an inspiration!

I promise in no time it will make a turnaround for you!!!

I appreciate all the support & ideas I already feel better just hearing from you all. My husband has taken the maximum amount of time off work & has done a wonderful job with the kids, but he had to go back to work today my older 2 kids are entertaining themselves & my youngest is right by my side (I can't sneak a nap in because I'm scared he will jump on my belly for a hug!). I feel like I'm getting on top of this...
Short term pain for long term gain?
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I was going to suggest you ask for family help with your children. But you say they are out of the country. Can your husband or partner take some of the responsibility for the kids? I would try to keep them busy with artwork, movies, etc. When you have kids at home you don't usually have time to feel sorry for yourself, I promise you every day will be a little better, then yo will feel like taking a walk, or sitting outside while your kids play. Losing weight will rejuvenate you tremendously!!! Good luck!!!

Just remember you're never alone in this. Posting and reading other people's experiences definitely helped me get through it, and it can do the same for you. ????

You have a wonderful and heartbreaking story to tell. Thank you for sharing it with us. I was 54 when I had the surgery and I am 55 now. I struggled with my weight my entire life. WLS is definitely the best thing I ever did for myself. I know you're going to feel the same way.
It's never too late to change your life for the better, and you are living proof of that. I am sad to hear of your many sorrows, and equally happy to hear how you were able to move past it.
You are a role model and an inspiration!

Just remember you're never alone in this. Posting and reading other people's experiences definitely helped me get through it, and it can do the same for you. ????

I am 61 years old and I am almost 4 weeks out from my sleeve surgery. I have found that my age contributes to how fast I have been recovering. It is slow, but slow and steady wins the race. I have had wonderful family and friend support. This struggle for weight loss is a 25 year saga and I finally took a permanent step to a healthy life.
I have to say that I was regretting my decision the first couple days home because of the pain and sickness. Then my friend convinced me to go back on my pain meds. What a relief. I stayed on them for 10 days and was able to recover comfortably and quicker. I am off the meds as of 10 days and each day gets better and better.
I am back to work and enjoying my life.
I started this process 2 years ago and then put it off. I tried weight watchers and a personal trainer and lost 20 lbs. in a year. Then my mother passed away and I stopped everything. I gained back the 20 lbs and 25 more. This February my brother died of a massive heart attack. I decided then not to turn back on the surgery.
I am so glad I had it. I have lost 37 lbs so far. It is the most weight I have ever lost at one time and it is only the beginning.
I have a new grandson and I plan to see him graduate from college and possibly one day see him get married. I hope to live a long, long time.
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Thanks for your reply, glad that im not the only one. I feel so upside down! I don't have a lot of family support (they live in another country) and not many friends close by....I underestimated how lonely I would feel at this point. Im really not good at asking for help or showing vulnerability so I'm hoping I can find help at the support group....or on here
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I would definitely count the hospital stay as the worst part of my entire journey, so you're not alone in feeling this way. I broke down in tears more than once myself. My surgeon required a four day stay for all his patients, so even though I felt physically well enough to go home the next day, I couldn't. That was hard.
It's especially draining too because you might feel like you no longer have any control over your life. Now that you're out of that unrestful environment things should start to get better. Not all at once of course, but day by day. I think you might benefit from going to a support group as you mentioned. And I hope you have someone to help you take care of the kids for the first couple of weeks. You need to rest.
The best thing you can do to help your recovery is not to expect so much from yourself right out of the gate. Devote some portion of each day to pampering yourself. You've been through a lot, physically, emotionally, and mentally. The days and months ahead won't all be easy either, but believe me, it'll be worth everything you had to sacrifice to get there. WLS isn't instant gratification, but the rewards are well within reach.
Take care of yourself and best wishes!

I'm not even a week out from my surgery, so I know it's only early days, but I'm struggling mentally and could really use some support or advice?
Waking up from surgery was so much tougher than I expected. I envy all you folks who breezed through recovery!
I'm planning on going to a support group as soon as I am feeling physically up to it. In the meantime, would love to hear from anyone who has been there, done that??
I'm completely ok with the food restrictions, it's just my hospital stay was tough & chaotic - instead of restful. Now I have my kiddos to look after & im a weepy, nauseous mess! Please tell me it gets better??
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It does. Surgery and being out of your environment and routines does that. Also when you lose weight the fat vells hold hormones and its dumping all of them into your system. I was a mess on and off for 2 months. Now at 4 months out, I am close to normal. I remember having a breakdown about the yardwork. Made no sense, but at the time it was a gigantic deal.
It gets better. Just know that its the fat cells and not you being irrational on your own. Let your family know too.
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Stalls are a normal, natural, and necessary part of the process of losing weight. Everyone experiences stalls and just about everyone experiences a stall about three weeks after surgery.
Just follow your program. Focus on getting in all of your Protein and fluids. Take your Vitamins and supplements as directed. Exercise when cleared. Stay off the scale. And, Embrace the Stall
http://BariatricPal.com/index.php?/topic/351046-Embrace-the-Stall.

Great thread, Alex.
I find that I have gained a better understanding of what's important and what is just narcissistic behavior of too many.
Losing John the morning of my WLS taught me to stop and think before speaking by "knee jerk" reaction alone. Is what I am about to say important, meaningful, and considerate? Am I truly answering a question and thinking about the consequences of my words or just seeking attention for a "shockingly sexual innuendo, a sarcastic knee slapper, or an, "I've paid my dues, so now you must also prove you can tolerate my sharp and stinging wit " response?
There are many that refer to their answers as, "tough love". Well, it's tough, but severely lacking anything resembling "love". I've learned that there is a way to "correct, advice, guide, and/or even scold", without belittling, shaming, being condescending, rude, abrupt or down right hurtful.
That is where PATIENCE comes to my mind. Whether I'm answering a question for the first time or for the thousandth time, my verbiage needs to be helpful---never hurtful. If I don't feel it within myself to answer in such a manner, than I have to have the patience to wait until I do, or just leave the question for another to answer--who hopefully will the patience that I am lacking just then. "If you can't improve upon the silence---then don't".
I've been responding to many PM's lately. I find that some members find that talking "privately" leaves them less likely to receive harshness and/or ridicule that they fear on the boards. I am delighted to receive PMs from those members. However I feel that they are losing some of the vast knowledge and insight of many of the members who would be patient with them and help them have a more joyful WLS journey.
Patience is a truly a gift that has to be practiced each and every day in our lives. It is difficult sometimes, but the rewards are well worth the effort.
Am I the patient responder that I aim to be? No, but I'm trying...

Has anyone not received support from friends or family?
My friend said I don't need the surgery and that all I had to do is go on a diet and exercise. I wish it was that easy
I have 3 sons and 2 of them are totally against the surgery, my husband isn't too thrilled either.
I feel as if I don't have any support. Really frustrating. Was wondering if anybody else had this same problem
Also, I posted in the wrong forum. I'm having the gastric bypass.
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please post/start/update your tickers and profiles
it's helpful for "readers" to know your stats - DOS, starting
weight, weight loss, GOAL, height etc- if you are
pre-op/post-op - this info helps us, help YOU - thanx
from the profiles i see, everyone weighs 0 lbs, 0 weight,
0 height etc - huh, really LOL
go to your name in the top right hand corner (area)
click, you'll see the words "my ticker" in the 2nd column
click - "create new ticker" - then follow directions
good luck
kathy

I'm a calm person by nature... Not many things bother me. I have so many hobbies and am constantly busy doing things I enjoy. I'm all about family and generally prefer a good book over company. I think WLS through the years taught me self-love more than anything. I am always hard on myself but easy on others... A perfectionist but only expect those standards from myself. So now thinking about, it has taught me patience in that regard. Great post, Alex.
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I don't really have anywhere to share this...so I hope here is ok.
I hit the 199 lbs mark yesterday and maintained it today. It's been so long since I was under 200 that I can't even remember the last time. I'm down a total of 23 lbs since I started all this. It's exciting but I'm trepidatious about sharing it because my brain still says "this won't work" even though logically, it is working! Plus all the nay-sayers in my world. :-/
I was happy with my body before surgery, but I was unhealthy. Today my blood pressure is down and I managed 20 minutes on the elliptical last night! Better than that, I did the elliptical and I can still walk the next day. I have a neck again and inches have been lost. My rings fit again and my clothes are fitting better.
So one month out, this is my success. Still a ways to go but I'll get there, slowly and surely.

@@GACaldwell
you have a great attitude
some people want things right there and now
doesn't happen that way with weight or life
this is a marathon, not a sprint
23 lbs down
living in onederland
blood pressure and inches down
finding your neck
ring fitting
success with riding eliptical
wow - all those NSV's in one month!!
you'll have many more NSV's in the future as you lose weight!!
keep up the great job!!
kathy
congrats

This is the perfect time to pamper and remind yourself that you are worth this! Great idea!

This is the perfect time to pamper and remind yourself that you are worth this! Great idea!

Probably best to describe what is meant by honeymoon period. For me the honeymoon period after RNY gastric bypass surgery was the fact that after surgery, I completely lost my hunger. It was not difficult to lose weight when hunger was not constantly continually gnawing at my bones. But hunger did eventually return about a year later but it just was not as strong as before surgery.
My question is "Is the honeymoon phase truly something to be concerned with if you're following the plan and losing weight like you're supposed to?" Yes. The approach in the "Maintenance" phase is different than in the "Weight Loss" phase. http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Surgery2.pdf

I am definitely a different person since surgery. And I have also experienced a better understanding of patience. It wasn't achieved just after surgery though, because it began to build over the entire year of the approval qualification for the surgery. WLS didn't just change my outward appearance, it also awakened and expanded my sense of self worth, allowing me, for the first time, to turn that compassion inward. What I was able to let go of was my own internal critic.
It also showed me that I wasn't alone. Being the only fat person in my immediate family caused a very isolated lifelong pain that I was never able to adequately explain to my thin family. And It wasn't until I began my research on WLS that I finally realized how many other people out there were going through the exact same thing. It was an immediate raw and palpable connection.
I would say that I've always been, or I've certainly have strived to be, compassionate. The biggest difference is that now I'm working on spreading that compassion to include everyone in my life who has ever bullied or ridiculed me about my weight, from childhood to adulthood. As well as the ones that now treat me kinder based entirely on my outer appearance. As much as I endeavored to lose the weight I also want to rewrite these bitter memories, but this time with my own ending.
As much as you shrink on the outside, you rise on the inside, which makes for an incredibly positive life changing experience.

I am definitely a different person since surgery. And I have also experienced a better understanding of patience. It wasn't achieved just after surgery though, because it began to build over the entire year of the approval qualification for the surgery. WLS didn't just change my outward appearance, it also awakened and expanded my sense of self worth, allowing me, for the first time, to turn that compassion inward. What I was able to let go of was my own internal critic.
It also showed me that I wasn't alone. Being the only fat person in my immediate family caused a very isolated lifelong pain that I was never able to adequately explain to my thin family. And It wasn't until I began my research on WLS that I finally realized how many other people out there were going through the exact same thing. It was an immediate raw and palpable connection.
I would say that I've always been, or I've certainly have strived to be, compassionate. The biggest difference is that now I'm working on spreading that compassion to include everyone in my life who has ever bullied or ridiculed me about my weight, from childhood to adulthood. As well as the ones that now treat me kinder based entirely on my outer appearance. As much as I endeavored to lose the weight I also want to rewrite these bitter memories, but this time with my own ending.
As much as you shrink on the outside, you rise on the inside, which makes for an incredibly positive life changing experience.