Trace Lynne

OMG, I do that all the time! I have a big dog, mastiff mix who weighs over 100 lbs... I said to people once that I've lost my dog... which I then had to rephrase... meaning that I've lost more weight than what my dog weighs... at 120 lbs, some people respond back with, wow, you've lost a small person... who knew, right?

As a corollary.... When you don't waste time driving around the parking lot looking for a closer space, because it's faster (and healthier) to grab a farther space and walk in. Furthermore.... When you run upstairs to get something – whenever you need it – rather than waiting until you have a bunch of reasons to climb that mountain. Okay, one more.... When you compare the weight you've lost to other heavy things -- I've lost just about 3 bags of mulch! I mean, think about that... I'd have trouble picking up two bags of mulch, let alone three. Imagine carrying three bags of mulch everywhere you go, including upstairs! Ouch!!! And freakin' YAY!!!

When you try on a smaller bra and someone has to TELL you that the back fat rolls you're freaking out about are actually shoulder blades. Who knew?

My Progress:
Pic 1: Starting Weight: 367 lbs 5/24/2014
dinner May 2014" />
Pic 2: Current Weight: 262 lbs 1/5/2014

Surgery Date: 8/28/2014

Walking down 5 flights of stairs:
I don't have to hold on to the rails to support/steady myself I can face forward, instead of sideways, I can pick up the pace and don't get winded I can walk down in successive steps, instead of stepping right foot down a step, then left foot on to the same step... this is the ritual I picked up after my knee surgery, since my knee didn't bend well after surgery.

1) I was mistaken for my younger (smaller) sister at a recent family gathering...
2) I was not recognized by some extended family
3) I went to an off-site meeting for work recently, the receptionist at the organization did not recognize me, despite having worked with her a few times last summer for some event scheduling.
4) Getting double-takes from coworkers as they start noticing the difference.
5) I've been posting comparison photos of me when this first started last spring with new photos each month. I get SO MANY comments about the difference... and many, many people have told me how much I am inspiring them because of all of the changes I've succeeded in making in my life.
6) My grandmother has stopped ragging on me about my "weight issue"... but has started in on asking when I'm going to find a nice, young man to settle down with.

I can't imagine this happening for a while...

when I don't feel like I'm going to collapse from taking the stairs from the 5th floor down to the 1st floor and back up to the 5th floor...

I have been quiet about the procedure with family and friends, only a handful of people have been told. Some probably suspect at this point, but haven't come out and asked me. Others have asked. If someone asks me, I will not deny that I had the procedure, however I do not want to over-emphasize the role that the procedure has made. I mean, I have been working out like a fiend, and I have not been quiet about exercising or the progress I am making. I am working my butt off to hit my goals. I mean, I lost over 40 lbs in the three months prior to surgery, thanks to going to the gym 3 times a week and working out with a personal trainer.
Sure, I've kept quiet about the procedure, but its the results that people are commenting on. I mean, my sister continues to make comments about how she needs to get back into shape, but then says something like not having the time I have because she is a single mom.
I have been keeping more to myself with this, because I really want to focus on working out and not involved with other people's drama. I do like the positive feedback, though. What I really love are the people I didn't think were paying much attention start telling me that I've been inspiring them to work out and try to get healthier. I feel amazing with those comments.

I have been quiet about the procedure with family and friends, only a handful of people have been told. Some probably suspect at this point, but haven't come out and asked me. Others have asked. If someone asks me, I will not deny that I had the procedure, however I do not want to over-emphasize the role that the procedure has made. I mean, I have been working out like a fiend, and I have not been quiet about exercising or the progress I am making. I am working my butt off to hit my goals. I mean, I lost over 40 lbs in the three months prior to surgery, thanks to going to the gym 3 times a week and working out with a personal trainer.
Sure, I've kept quiet about the procedure, but its the results that people are commenting on. I mean, my sister continues to make comments about how she needs to get back into shape, but then says something like not having the time I have because she is a single mom.
I have been keeping more to myself with this, because I really want to focus on working out and not involved with other people's drama. I do like the positive feedback, though. What I really love are the people I didn't think were paying much attention start telling me that I've been inspiring them to work out and try to get healthier. I feel amazing with those comments.

I hope to do this at my 1-year follow up with my surgeon!

That is a difficult question to respond to. I mean, I didn't start putting on a lot of weight until after I finished college. I seriously considered WLS in 2007, when I weighed about 260-270lbs. I made it through three months of the 6 month liquid diet program, and I was ready to kill someone. I was advised by my therapist to stop, because the 600 cal/day program affected my job and relationships.
Since then, I put on another 100 lbs before I decided to move forward with WLS. Nothing I tried helped me to lose weight. However, if I would've been introduced to someone like the trainer I started working with before I actually had surgery back in 2007, I'm convinced I would not have needed the surgery to begin with. Working out with my trainer, I lost about 40 lbs in less than 2 months before I even went in for surgery.
However, there were still things I needed to go through emotionally before I was ready to fix myself. I spent about 5 years in therapy before I was in the right mind-set.
So, I guess to answer this question: on the one level, if I had proper trainer work in my early 20s, I could've avoided the massive weight gain all together. However, I still had things to work on to stop the patterns that caused me to gain the weight I gained. ... Also, if I would not have gone on birth control in college, I probably would have avoided quite a bit of the weight gain.

That is a difficult question to respond to. I mean, I didn't start putting on a lot of weight until after I finished college. I seriously considered WLS in 2007, when I weighed about 260-270lbs. I made it through three months of the 6 month liquid diet program, and I was ready to kill someone. I was advised by my therapist to stop, because the 600 cal/day program affected my job and relationships.
Since then, I put on another 100 lbs before I decided to move forward with WLS. Nothing I tried helped me to lose weight. However, if I would've been introduced to someone like the trainer I started working with before I actually had surgery back in 2007, I'm convinced I would not have needed the surgery to begin with. Working out with my trainer, I lost about 40 lbs in less than 2 months before I even went in for surgery.
However, there were still things I needed to go through emotionally before I was ready to fix myself. I spent about 5 years in therapy before I was in the right mind-set.
So, I guess to answer this question: on the one level, if I had proper trainer work in my early 20s, I could've avoided the massive weight gain all together. However, I still had things to work on to stop the patterns that caused me to gain the weight I gained. ... Also, if I would not have gone on birth control in college, I probably would have avoided quite a bit of the weight gain.

Honestly...if I had it to do all over again..the same age. I don't know about some people, but I had to go through some stuff before I reached the decision that WLS was needed to extend my life. I wouldn't change any part of my journey to WLS because those experiences have made me the person I am today.
Regarding my kids...I'm torn. On the one hand I don't want my kids to experience the emotional & physical pain I went through being obese. On the other hand those same experiences will make them stronger and more ready to have surgery and handle the consequences of PostOp. I guess it comes down to...I'd support whatever decision makes them happy.

I still sit gingerly on folding chairs and outdoor plastic chairs. I've had those things collapse and break on me before. Its difficult to forget those moments, and they are always in the back of my mind.

I still sit gingerly on folding chairs and outdoor plastic chairs. I've had those things collapse and break on me before. Its difficult to forget those moments, and they are always in the back of my mind.

I grew up with a romanticized notion of love: One day my prince would come and life would be perfect. I still have my vision of him: A big, tall, dark and handsome dominate male, the stallion, who would rescue me, worship my feminine traits, but not possess me (except in the bedroom). Aside from the attributes in parenthesis, my fantasy man came straight from the Disney Princess movies of my childhood.


Love is the deepest and most fulfilling connection to the world. Yet it is sadly ironic that most of us don’t know what love is.

Storybook Love
I grew up with a romanticized notion of love: One day my prince would come and life would be perfect. I still have my vision of him: A big, tall, dark and handsome dominate male, the stallion, who would rescue me, worship my feminine traits, but not possess me (except in the bedroom). Aside from the attributes in parenthesis, my fantasy man came straight from the Disney Princess movies of my childhood. That’s not true love, although I admit I still long for this fantasy man of my dreams. Thanks a lot, Disney.

I’ve been “in love” a few times. I met John when I was 15 years old. He taught me what it was to be loved. John was my protector, my knight in shining armor who rescued his princess many times. Joe was three-years older than me. He swept me off my feet on his white horse (a Chevelle) and ultimately shattered my illusion of love. And then there was Bob who cherished me. He called me his beautiful Czechoslovakian doll and wrote me poetry. Bob is the closest I’ve come to my Prince Charming and I married him when I was 19 years old. But life has not been perfect. There are two other men I have loved but our relationships were never consummated.

My storybook love ideal caused pain in these relationships. I was looking for someone else to make me feel complete, to satisfy all my needs, to make my life perfect. These precious men truly were deserving of my love. But I did not know how to love myself. And I did not know how to love them. That’s not true love. That was me being selfish. Truth is, I ultimately shattered my illusion of love, not Joe. It took me a long time to understand that love is an “inside job.”

Finding Myself
Decades pass and thorough them I go from fit to overweight to obese, then back to overweight and finally back to fit. And it was not until recently that I was able to love the person who was: That obese woman who used to look back at me in the mirror. Late last year I began a spiritual journey toward finding myself. I believe this important step in our transformation after weight loss is often overlooked. It took a series of catastrophes within relationships with people who were very important to me, to bring me to my knees and ask “what is the meaning of all this?” Fate delivered a spiritual guide to me.

I stumbled a lot at first. Jen, a weight-loss surgery/plastic surgery friend, during our interview about love after obesity told me “change requires being open to being guided and looking for the lessons and messages in that guidance.” I remained open to the messages the universe was sending. I kept searching for what I was supposed to learn. I counseled with Rev. Mark, who also is a metaphysician, one of the most Enlightened spiritual leaders I’ve met; I read a few books (good read: Return to Love) and countless articles; I did guided meditation and visualization; I did the
course on YouTube and journaled; I watched documentaries (good watch: Love); I prayed (and still do) for the Holy Spirit (G_d's love) to allow me to see only through the eyes of love. And around Christmas my heart was broken open. That's when miraculous experiences began to happen.
I reacquainted myself with my spirituality and my philosophy on life from a time long ago when my heart was filled only with love. It was the time before I became overweight and had used food to insulate my quiet inner voice of love from the frantic assault of the outside world.

Finding True Love
Finding true love is an inside job, means we must establish a sense of wholeness and intimacy within ourselves, first. Once I had unconditional love for myself, I was able to stop beating myself up for past failures. I was able to love me even though I made mistakes. And then… I was able to love others even though they made mistakes; even though they did not live into my fantasy of Prince Charming.

I saw past the shell of these men and recognized their love given me through acts of service, gifts of quality time, and physical touch (good read: The 5 Love Languages). I was able to see the love given me because I had accepted myself as someone who could be loved. Previously I had seen myself as unlovable and therefore had doubted and tested the love given me.

I saw their vulnerabilities and their faults and accepted these men just as they were, without judgement of how I thought they should be. Loving your idealized image of someone until they disappoint you with who they really are is not true love. That’s possessive love: I love you but only if you behave in the way in which I think you should be. That’s love with strings attached. I was able to love them with their flaws because I had accepted the flaws within myself.

I was able to see their pain and how they had been hurt by me, whereas in the past I only could experience my pain and how they had hurt me. In doing so, I experienced what it is to love unconditionally, to experience self sacrifice for the good of another. Rev. Mark told me that is the deepest love there is. He called it soul love.

The Resurrection of Love
I had been reaching outside myself to men for the wholeness and intimacy that I was missing inside myself. Before expecting to find wholeness and intimacy externally, we must love ourselves as we are rather than trying to find someone to make us feel complete, to fix us, or to be who we want them to be rather than who they are. That is not what love is about. Every person in the world was born with the same incredible gift: the ability to love oneself and others unconditionally. We can resurrect that love at any point in our lives.

I believe that forming a loving connection with another person (not necessarily a sexual relationship) is one of the most rewarding of life’s experiences and a crucial step in our growth into wholeness. If you don't know how to do that, how to really love someone else, then you will ultimately shatter the love that you have with anyone else, including with your mate.

According to Maddisen K. Krown, M.A., “When we establish this awareness and loving connection, we establish a wholeness and intimacy with ourselves, which will very likely be projected and reflected back to us by others in the form of the loving, whole, and intimate relationships we have always longed for.”

What have you done to discover true love of self after weight loss? Please share your story in the comment section below.
Want more love? Read about soul mates and twin flames in Soul Relationships or learn to manifest your heart's desire in No Fear. No Regrets.

Living larger than ever,
My Bariatric Life

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When thou fold your underwear in half and NOT three times lol

When I get cross with hubby about posting pictures of me on Facebook--not for the usual "I look so awful and fat in that picture!" reason, but because I wanted to post it myself! Hah!

you know you had weight loss surgery when......
You are driving down the freeway. all the sudden panic strikes you. You start pat searching yourself because you forgot to fasten you're seat belt. Then you realize it is fastened and you can't feel it.

I'm 20 lbs down (still 1 week pre-op) and yesterday I put on a sweat suit that fit me pretty well 2 weeks ago and my mother looks at me and laughs. She said I looked like I had on my uncle's sweatsuit.....my uncle is easily 350 or more!!

Going to the gym and actually LIKING it because it really and truly feels GOOD to exercise.
Love it!

@Rogofulm - YES! love it! This is exactly what i did at a black tie event over the weekend. So many people did not know be "before" and it was a great feeling that WE didnt have my "before" to compare to... they just accepted me as i am right now. I was able to stand straight with pride and not feel any judgement.

Thank goodness I have a husband already because unfortunately a bad thing I've noticed since the weight loss is I get a lot of compliments on how I look from women which is great, yall ladies know it's hard to make another woman say "good job, you look great" but my issue is, MEN don't hit on me as much as they use to. I'm feeling a complex coming on...
As we all know appearance is the first impression and I always had a great great smile, nice round butt and 44 DDD breast and my build was thick but you can tell I was still athletic, curvy and I danced alot and now, I just feel so frail, no butt, no boobs and no stares anymore. Nothing really stands out, I feel like I blend into crowds and I'm use to being the standout....Hubby loves it but I feel like I've lost a major part of me...I was the Queen of Kings for a reason!! Men drooled over my body, then my personality. It's weird to have to work harder to accentuate my curves and let my personality shine thru in my clothing style...this is becoming a more fun and exciting journey, luckily I like a challenge!

P.s. I refuse to change my license or passport pics until it's a must...I love the double takes!!