Fanny Adams

I hear you... I actually had more confidence when I was fat and am becoming more self-conscious as I lose the weight. When I was at my largest, I was into casual sex and I deliberately sought out guys who liked fat women. I figured if they didn't like the body, well bugger them and I never got paranoid about showing off my size. Now that I've lost the weight and I'm in a relationship with someone that I care about deeply, I'm finding that I REALLY REALLY care about his opinion and I'm very self-conscious about the sags and bags. He's wonderful at reassurance, but it's a strange headspace to be in... My suggestion: LINGERIE!! It hides a multitude of sins and can really help you to feel sexy! (Okay, I just love sexy lingerie and any excuse will do! )

This was absolutely true for me. When I started this journey, I wore a mix of sizes 22-26 (Aus sizes, 18-22 in US sizes), depending on the brand and how much I could stretch them (some were VERY stretched!). My first shopping expedition saw me moving into 18's (14's in US) and the difference was phenomonal. I've been a bit better since then, moving down into 16's and 14's (Aus, US 12/10) and am still spinning out over the "normal" looking person in the dressing room mirror.

Congrats to you all who've made it recently!! It's a wonderful feeling!! For those on the verge, hang in there - it IS attainable!

Captain Tripps is gonna get us all!! Mwuahahahahaha!!!

A super fund is our superannuation fund - retirement fund, basically. I think it is similar to your "401K" but I'm not entirely sure - mostly coz I don't really know what that is, other than what I've guessed through posts here and in other forums. Super has been compulsory in Aus for 20 years now, with employers required to pay 9% of the total wages/salary into a fund nominated by the employee, which can't be touched until retirement. Some large organisations (like the public service or hospitals, etc) offer their own superannuation funds but many people opt for completely private super funds held with insurance companies. I think it is very sensible - forces people to save for their retirement but gives them freedom of choice on how to do that. Employers MUST contribute - employees can choose to add their own contributions as well, and get tax breaks if they do so. On the other hand, our employers don't provide medical insurance as part of a salary package - our medical insurance is entirely separated from employment and I like it that way!! I've heard way too many US horror stories about losing coverage and other problems, simply because you've changed jobs. To me, that seems like a really whacky thing to tie together so closely.

What a cutie!!! (Not you, Plain!! :biggrin:)

Well at least I rescued the day somewhat by walking home from site (5.5km walk, takes me an hour). And I did manage to avoid the dessert table after dinner...

:ohmy: At this stage in your recovery, what on EARTH are you doing even attempting food?? Does your doctor know you are trying this? Most of us have been given the advice that if we experience so much as a small "getting stuck" or PBing episode, we should switch to liquids for the rest of the day and only very slowly introduce solids again the next day, if we are confident we can handle it. If it is a bad episode, 2 days on liquids then a day on mushies before solids are tried seems to be the standard doctor's advice. After a severe episode like yours, I would expect you to be going right back to your post-operative care regime. That is, 3-4 days on CLEARS ONLY, a week on full liquids, a week on mushies and THEN try the solid food again (and ONLY if all signs of vomiting have completely disappeared). I can't believe that you haven't been told something like this by your doctors and/or the hospital. Please consider doing it anyway - it can't hurt and may very well save your band. You're going to do yourself a serious and long term injury if you keep on vomiting like this! *is very worried for you*

It's weird, Plain. Every time I celebrate a success, I seem to have to follow it up with being "bad". It really does seem like sabotage - like I can't bear the idea of things going well for very long, so I have to take steps to ruin it... *sigh* The mind is a very odd thing... PS: Make that "a chocolate bar, 2 cookies and a small piece of fruit cake". ARGH!!! I'm walking home from site tonight!!

Hi again all. I've been away again - was home for my normal roster break, but it was a long weekend here in Aus, so went away with my family. Hehehe - I made the boyfriend come with me to stay with my parents in a resort hotel! We had a wonderful time and he coped pretty well actually . Why do I sabotage myself? I was feeling all good coz I didn't overindulge over the long weekend - did lots of exercise, was very careful eating, came home a couple of pounds down even!! Then back to site last night and what do I do to myself today? Eat a stupid chocolate bar of course!! GRR!! *kicks self*

Thanks Jachut - the new haircut was a winner apparently :crying: I like that pic but I was mucking about, trying for a "sexy" look and it came out looking like I'd sucked in my cheeks to the max. At that tiny size, I think it makes my face look gaunt but, believe me, it isn't!!

Go Jachut! :crying:

Damnit! I'm at work at the moment (11:35am) and this is SO not what I need to help me concentrate for the afternoon!! I don't fly home till 9pm tonight, so it will be another 13 hours until I see my honey! I wanna go home NOW!!!

If you really want to find out why, here's a quick primer on how to get started: 1. Pick a night when you're feeling relaxed and in the mood to be daring... a few drinks do help at the beginning to get you over some inhibitions and relax a few muscles. Try not to focus on it being "dirty" or "naughty" (unless of course those ideas turn you on - as they do for some of us *winks*.) 2. Wait until you're already good and horny and halfway worked up through other means - this is not something to try without lots of foreplay! 3. Find your favourite lube - mine is 100% organic coconut oil - not too slippery (like baby oil), doesn't go all sticky after a while (like astroglide) and smells and tastes wonderful (unlike all the others!) 4. Get your man to gently and slowly run his finger around the outside rim of your anus, massaging the muscle ring firmly but sensuously. Tell him NOT to attempt penetration until you give the signals! This should go on for at least several minutes before anything further and may actually be all you want to start off with, especially if he's dextrous enough to manage a thumb in the vagina at the same time (OH BABY!!) 5. If you're enjoying that and want more, signal by pushing against his hand. When you are "ready", his finger should just dip in easily and YOU control the pace and depth of entry. If that works for you, and you want to take it further, I'm sure you'll figure the rest of it out *grins* The aim is for him to use his hands to slowly SLOWLY relax that muscle until you're ready to try the next step...

Any time, Plain!! You know me - Always happy to oblige! :crying:

Well I know I am!!! But with my partner of course, so nyahh! :crying::eek:

Well you did phrase your initial question as "Should I be mad at my husband for looking at dirty pictures?" My answer to that, without taking into account the other issues, would be "No, it's pretty normal." As I said in my first post, the trust issues are another matter and I can see your point with that.

Fanny's Outback Update I've been walking the 5-6km home from site to camp at night lately (coz I'm bored in the gym) and last night spotted this beauty on the road about 3 feet from where we were standing: It's a King Brown, about 5-6ft, so not big for that kind of snake, they get up to 10ft.

My apologies, Carrie, I was responding to what the other poster said about insecurities, rather than your words. That being said, however, you have said that your physical relationship with him is less than optimal for you, i.e. he doesn't compliment you or tell you that he finds you attractive any more. That implies a level of insecurity, even if justified by his inactions. I think it is that issue far more than the porn viewing that you should be addressing with your husband. If he was letting you know in no uncertain terms that you still rock his world, I don't think you'd care half as much about what he viewed online. I won't try to debate the moral issues with you, because we just don't see the world the same way, but I do think you are helping to set up the circumstances for your husband to unintentionally hurt you. He might have volunteered the words "I'll stop looking" but if you dig into it, I'd bet he's saying that because he thinks it is what you want to hear, not because it is what he wants to do. Rather than try to hold him to his word to "never watch again", which only makes the act of viewing much more exciting and tempting, why not set up a situation where he can view safely on a separate computer or something? Second hand computers are cheap as chips these days, so it wouldn't take much to fix things, if the downloads and virus risk are really the only problem.

Telling him that he can't watch porn just because she's insecure is selfish and immature too. Placing demands upon him that he can neither meet nor admit to not meeting is hardly thinking about his feelings either. His feelings are as important as hers too, ya know. That works both ways.

Six months ago I was all excited because I had made it into Onederland (75lb down). At the time, I thought the 100lb lost was the next goal and that it was within reach. In the last six months, I have bounced up and down from 90kg (200lb) to my lowest so far of 84kg (185lb). Six months and only 15lb and that not even consistant... *sigh* Right now I am onsite and won't know my true weight till I get on my home scales in 2 days time but I'd guess I'm back at around 86/87kg (190lb) again. At the bottom end of the bounce (185lb), I'm only 10 pound from reaching this milestone but do you think I can do it?? Noooo... I have to keep sabotaging myself on each trip back to site. Time to refocus and get recommitted! I haven't finished this journey yet and I want to get to goal!! 100lb down is my next milestone and I vow now that I will achieve it before my first visit to the plastic surgeon on June 12!! That's seven weeks - I can do that!!

Wow, this is interesting! Who'd have thought that the humble chocmilk was better than all those fancy sports drinks - not to mention the same in calories! By the way, don't get fooled by the "low fat" versions of choc milk - they just replace the fat content with extra sugar and end up with the same calorie value!

I used the Patches for 2 weeks prior to and 2 weeks following the surgery, on doctor's orders but had no intentions at the time of giving up long term. However, I discovered that the patches had a double-whammy - they helped curb my appetite, even on the pre-op diet and it wasn't anywhere near as hard as I thought it was going to be. I did slip back into smoking again but found I had cut down a lot (about half my previous amount) and when I met my non-smoking boyfriend six months ago, I decided to have another go at giving up. It seems all I needed was the right motivation, as it's been six months cigarette free now! YAY!

LOL!! You got him there, Taps! I'm a Technical Writer, currently in the mining industry but was in IT for 15 years before that. I write Operating Manuals and Safe Work Instructions for the people running the machinery on the mine. I work an 8 day on/6 day off roster (12 hour days) away on a very remote mine site in the Kimberley region in the far north of Western Australia. I live in Perth, WA, so my commute to work is 3,000km each way