4me4them

Went well with my dad....will talk to mom tomorrow. I don't think there is a right answer on this one...each person has to make her own decisions about who to confide in or not. I'm glad you have someone you can tell... PS...thanks for reading my blog...

So I'm half way there...lol. I did call my folks last night...but my mom was already sleeping so I just talked to my dad. He was very supportive and told me he thought I was making a good decision and that I will be heading off lots of problems in 20 years. I felt so bad. Here I am doing something that if he had done 20 years ago would have made such a difference in his current state of health/happiness. I almost feel guilty....how messed up is that? I've now identified another "opportunity for growth". I'll call back to talk to mom tomorrow.

So I'm going to tell my parents about my WLS. I'm almost 50 (in August) and my parents are in their early 70s and yet I’ve had a hard time deciding whether to tell them. See both are morbidly obese, both have weight related problems, and neither is having the retirement they dreamed of. They are, in some ways why I decided to pursue surgery. Worse than that, they have both become glass half empty kind of folks…not at all like the parents I remember from my childhood. I know they will worry. And then they will worry some more. But here’s the main thing driving my decision to tell them. My husband and I are going to see them this October. My trips to my home town are normally gastronomical tours….fresh baked pepperoni roles from D’Anunzio’s, white cake from Bonnie Bell’s Bakery, calamari and lasagna from Muriel’s….my stomach is growling just typing. Already mom is talking about the new buffet at a state park resort and how we need to go there. I’m using my 3 month doctor supervised diet period to establish good habits and drop what weight I can…and this trip occurs right after that period and about 6 weeks before the date I hope to have surgery. Unfortunately my folks are used to my “health kicks” and if I just tell them I’m on a diet, they might not take it seriously. Actually it was my husband who said “I don’t know if I will be able to not get mad if your mom tries to push food on you”….hmmmm hadn’t thought about it from his point of view. I’ve decided to keep the peace, and to explain my commitment to my new eating habits, I need to have THE TALK. I can’t expect them to be supportive if they don’t know there is something to support. So I’m going to make the call. Tonight. Probably.

So I have an active husband. He used to be a runner but now he is a cyclist. He goes on these really long Saturday morning rides, sometimes he can be gone 5+ hours. I'd gotten into a bad habit of having a big unhealthy breakfast on my own, playing on the computer, snacking all morning and then fixing another big unhealthy breakfast when he got home and of course sharing it with him. What a difference 1 week makes. As I said last time, I had my first NUT appointment on last Monday. 1500 calories, watch the carbs, move 30 minutes every day. I'd totally forgotten how much I actually LIKE being outside early in the morning...here in AZ in the summer that is the only time to exercise! Yesterday morning, after a couple of nights of really hard rains I thought I heard a flock of ducks...seriously...in the southwest desert. So I start walking and I'm thinking that when I get to the really big wash (a wide area that collects rainwater for all you non desert folks ) along my way, I would see the ducks. Imagine my surprise when I got there and I couldn't SEE anything...but the noise was definitely coming from the wash. A little internet investigation after I got home taught me that there is a species of frog here that only mates one time a year...usually after the first few monsoons. I never would have heard that sound were it not for my decision to pursue WLS. Which brings me to the title of this blog entry...THIS Saturday morning I got up when hubby left (before 0600), did my 30 minutes had a healthy breakfast, cleaned the dining room, packaged some pre cut veggies.....all before 0830...LOL. Hang in there if you are struggling...keep pushing forward and you too might "hear the frogs". It's never too late to make a new habit. Next time I'll have my craft table all set up and I'll share a picture. It is my "keep Beth distracted when head hunger strikes" plan. Beth

So yesterday I had my first nutrition appointment and my initial consult with the surgeon (Dr. Galvani). I thought I was going to have to do 3 months supervised diet, but apparently I wouldn't have to (because of my BMI). However I want to do my surgery in early December (good time to be off work) and so I'll do 4 months with the NUT. Dr. seemed agreeable to my timeline, and the insurance coordinator was not concerned about my approval. The NUT was a hoot...enough energy for all of us! My husband went with me and so she included his calories/targets as well...he only gets 300 more calories than I do...I was surprised. So here is what it turns out my first month targets are: 1. 1500 Calories a day 2. between 125-150 grams of Carbohydrates (will go down in the following months but she figured out pretty quickly I'm a carb-a-holic) 3. between 80-90 grams protein 4. minimum 30 minutes daily moving 5. lose weight (no target pounds given) It was very liberating for me to get some guidelines to follow. I know that may not make sense, but I've been winging it for so long, actually having a target to shoot for that I know will ultimately result in weight loss is kind of cool. I'm using my fitness pal to log my food and we will call it up at my next NUT visit on 04 August. For the first time in a very long time....I believe I can do this! Beth

Congrats! Purging a closet must be an awesome feeling...I can't wait to get there!

Hang in there! Prayers heading your way...

So my 19 month old granddaughter has been here since 30 July. She is awesome, fearless and a perpetual ball of motion. I tried to keep up and with granny naps I did pretty good. One thing my daughter wanted to do was take her swimming for the first time. This posed a huge problem for me in that I haven't worn a bathing suit in public in many many years. I had resigned myself to sitting in the chairs watching and consoled myself with the thoughts that "NEXT year (after surgery and losing weight) I would be able to get in the water and play. And then it hit me....Callie will only have ONE FIRST TIME! So I did what grandma's everywhere do and put the bathing suit on, jumped in the water and played with my granddaughter attachment=46130:Callie at the pool 5.jpg] And yes, that is my arm! I have my first consult with the surgeon and nutritionist today...am excited to get started.

So valuable lesson learned, if you don't log every day there is no way to remember! It was not because I was avoiding what I ate...I have my 19 month old granddaughter with me this week and I just plain haven't had the time...suffice it to say it was not always healthy.

Thursday 2 scrambled eggs, 2 slices toast, 1 cup coffee 1 ham sandwich on gluten free mustard bread with mustard, avocado and sprouts 1 cup unsweetened starbucks iced coffee with 1 scoop chocolate protein powder

Wednesday 1 small homemade smoothie with banana, mango, raspberry, almond milk and protein powder 1 c oatmeal, 2T brown sugar tall mocha Frappuccino ham sandwich on jalapeno bread with avocado and sprouts, tortilla chips, 1 cup caramel popcorn 1 cup goldfish, I glass wine 3 servings pasta carbonara, 1 cup steamed broccoli 1 slice (big one) marscapone cheesecake

Tuesday 2 blueberry pancakes, maple syrup, ham, coffee 1 bowl leftover red beans and rice, grande lime cooler from starbucks 1 humus/pretzel thins 2 servings Asian chicken salad, 1/2 baked potato 1nectarine 1 slice tiramisu cake

Monday Muscle milk protein shake made with starbucks unsweetened iced coffee, whole wheat English muffin with cream cheese at 0700 Venti vanilla latte, large Arby's roast beef sandwich with 3 packs horsey sauce and 2 stuffed pretzels 1130 large rootbeer 1530 2 bowls home made red beans and rice, 1 slice cornbread 1730 1 bite French silk blizzard 2000.

Sunday : 1 nectarine, muscle milk protein powder and almond milk at 0630 venti lime cooler from starbucks at 0830 bacon mushroom omelet with hash browns and watermelon at 0930 microwave popcorn and 1 serving beef jerky 1530 3 pieces pizza, salad, ranch dressing, 4 wings 1930 1/3 of 7servings of frozen tiramisu

So a couple of Saturday's ago I had to go to traffic school. I was not a happy camper. I have had exactly one ticket in the over 34 years I have been driving... a speeding ticket in 1983 coming back from a Barry Manilow concert (and yes I was a party animal in college ). So imagine my surprise when I got a ticket through the mail. My town has invested a lot of money in red light cameras, speed cameras and such. They even have a van that they park unattended in sneaky places. My picture from three angles, not coming to a full stop before making a right on red. $171.00 for the ticket and $185.00 for Defensive Driving School later I found myself sitting in a small conference room at a local hotel I thought had closed, with 15 other folks to take an 8 hour class. So here's what I learned about my weight that Saturday...I am the worlds champion at rationalizing my behavior away. As folks were coming in we were all like "what did YOU do". So I spin a tale of being sick (we had had the flu for 3 days and I was on a ginger ale run), it being really early in the morning (yep, 0525) and there being no one else on the road (true, just look at the picture). And as I told the story for the 3rd time I had my epiphany...I was telling all that extra information to somehow justify that I had indeed broken the law instead of just saying, I ran a red light and owning up to it. I do that All The Time with eating. Have you ever thought (or even told someone): I really didn't eat lunch, so this pizza is lunch and dinner I worked out really hard this morning, so this donut is not so bad I'm starting fresh on Monday, so the Dairy Queen Sunday night is just a last treat I forgot my lunch, am pressed for time, so of course I had to get the fried fish sandwich through the drive through I could go on but I think you see the pattern. I have developed a great ability to rationalize because it is easier than taking responsibility for my eating actions. Last week, there was a thread in the forums about logging your food intake. I have never been very good at that, because I didn't want to see what reality was...can you say denial. But here's the thing, if I don't get over this mental speed hump, I lessen my chances of having a successful outcome. I go see the NUT for the first time in just over a week and will begin my 3 month supervised weight loss at that time. That doesn't leave much time! So this week I'm going to log everything I eat...in my blog...for realsies! This should be an interesting experiment because my daughter and granddaughter are coming in on Monday and we have the 4th coming up of course so that means I have to fix BBQ Ribs right?

Yay you!

Wow. Thanks for sharing your story, with that kind of faith you CAN do anything!

So this morning I did a radical thing...at least for me it was radical...I actually got out of bed when the alarm went off (0515), put on some clothes and shoes and headed out the door for a walk. To understand why this was radical I have to back up to 16 June. I attended my WLS Seminar with Dr. Galvani on 16 June. I'd been lurking on this site for about a month, and finally approached my PCP for a referral...which he supported. I've also talked with a couple of Dr. G's patients so I thought I had the sequence of events down Everything was as I expected, right until the "3 month supervised diet" slide came up. See previous patients said that he wasn't really concerned about how much you lost during your 3 month diet time...he just didn't want you to gain. Check, I can do that. But the slide said "5% Reduction"...What.The.Heck. So I left that seminar determined not to pay attention to my nutrition and exercise because hey, I had to lose 5% AFTER my initial apt with the NUT and Dr on 07 July...I don't need to be an overachiever. I wont say I went hog wild...but I will say it was piglet wild. But the something unexpected happened. I don't really want to eat poorly anymore and my joints are kinda protesting the whole not moving anymore thing. And then yesterday I kinda had a DOH I'm committing to a HUGE life change here...and I'm going to wait until someone is watching to take care of myself? So, out the door I went...for exactly 1 mile (which for me was about 2,500 steps according to my fitbit). It wasn't pretty, but it was done. I have an opportunity the next couple of weeks to learn how to use my fitbit, make my knees and hips feel better and perhaps....just perhaps feel better all at the same time. It no longer matters whether someone is tracking or whether I "get credit". As the name says...this one is 4me. Beth

So after lurking on this awesome site for about a month, I finally took the plunge and joined. I thought I would explain my screen name because it kind of sums up my approach to this whole endeavor. As I was working through the decision to pursue WLS I spent some time thinking about WHY and more specifically WHY NOW? I will turn 50 in August and that is certainly part of the WHY NOW, but I also have this amazing granddaughter and I want to be able to play with her, see her grow up and be a part of her life. I'm also starting to see the light at the end of the work tunnel that is retirement, and although it is just a pinpoint right now if I want to enjoy it I need to get my weight off. So the "4me" part is obvious and is my declaration that first and foremost I'm doing this so I can have the future I want. the "4them" is all the people in my life that I want to spend time with, laugh with and play with...granddaughter, husband, kids, friends... I'm sure that like the other journeys in my life, it wont be a straight, flat route, but I believe that the opportunity WLS provides is one that will ultimately lead me to my desired location and I'll have a wild ride along the way. Wanna come along?